


Ready For It

by ninamyyly



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adam and James are Assholes, Advice Columnist Shiro (Voltron), Alternate Universe - Aliens Are Common, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blind Date, Cunnilingus, Flashbacks, Implied Mpreg, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Masturbation, Meddling, Minor Allura/Lance (Voltron), Minor Hunk/Pidge | Katie Holt, Multi, Nipple Licking, Nurse Keith (Voltron), One-Sided James Griffin/Keith (Voltron), Panic Attacks, Past Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Past James Griffin/Keith (Voltron), Penis In Vagina Sex, Post Mpreg, Really a, Romantic Comedy, Sexual Harassment, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Single Parent Keith (Voltron), Trans Keith (Voltron), Trans Male Character, Trans Mpreg, Unresolved Romantic Tension, afab language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 15:47:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 110,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21860662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninamyyly/pseuds/ninamyyly
Summary: Keith and Shiro are both people who can’t say they’ve been especially lucky in love. Keith struggles through life having to co-parent his daughter with his asshole ex. The ghosts of the actions of Shiro’s ex, along with the memories associated with the circumstances of their break-up, are becoming more and more difficult to evade. When their mutual friends set them up on a blind date, they need to learn to navigate their pasts, presents and futures together, while trying to figure out if their budding relationship can withstand all the obstacles in their way, both internal and external.
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 40
Kudos: 185
Collections: Sheith Big Bang 2019





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is, finally. After months of hard and deliberate work, my fic for the Sheith Big Bang 2019 is at last ready to post. This was meant to be a fun little project of 20K that somehow grew into the giant monster you see in front of you now :).
> 
> I've been blessed and joyed to work with @HeichouPuns AKA SunnySalad as my artist for this project. He's been an amazing partner and the art he's made is incredible. You can find the pieces he drew [here](https://twitter.com/HeichouPunsArt/status/1207882724805107713?s=19).
> 
> As the tags state, Keith is trans in this fic. There's afab language (clit & cunt/pussy (+ more neutral 'chest')) involved for his bits as a trans man, so if that makes you uncomfortable, you may wish to avoid chapter 8 or the whole fic if you so wish. I realize every trans guy is different with what terms they use for their genitalia; these were just what I chose for this particular fic/character/scenario :). Keith has also carried and given birth to his daughter, Callie. He's also pre-surgery of any kind, and wears sports tops/bras and binders for his chest.
> 
> James is an asshole in this fic. I'm not too kind to Adam either, even though he doesn't actually show up.
> 
> Special thanks to mv_lit for sensitivity reading and @leandralena for beta-reading this ❤︎.
> 
> Have fun and leave comments!

Today starts like any other in Keith Kogane’s simple little life.

He’s woken by a tiny energetic person in pink pajamas jumping on top of him, one he quickly grabs for a tight hug and a multitude of kisses, despite the sleepiness still creeping at the back of his eyes. He carries her to the kitchen, cooks and serves breakfast for both of them while sipping on a cup of coffee, trying to make it last since he’s trying to cut back on consuming the stuff.

Afterwards, he prepares two lunches, does a quick wash of his face and a brush of his hair before tying it into a bun on the top of his head. He contemplates between wearing a binder or a sports top, in the end choosing the top before putting on some jeans and a sweatshirt. Finally, he sits the tiny person, now also fully dressed, down so he can do her hair. Today’s style of choice is twin braided pigtails in her silky dark hair.

Soon after he’s finished with all of that, it’s time for the two of them to leave. Keith makes sure they both have on enough layers for the cold morning, grabs both their bags, checks that he remembered to take his keys, and then they head out to the car. It’s a simple red car, an older model, that sometimes only seems to keep running because Keith knows how to maintain it, and because he has people in his life who can fix it for free when it breaks down. But despite all its flaws, he can’t help but feel a nudge of warmth for the old girl, as he buckles the tiny person in and settles into his own seat. She’s served him well over the years, carrying him and the people in his life through so much.

Keith drives off to Lion Elementary first, to drop off his heart for the day and for the weekend in the care of someone who isn’t him. And no matter how many times he does this, Keith can’t help but give her a long hug and kisses to the top of her head.

“Bye, Starling,” Keith sighs, giving his heart another squeeze, before forcing himself to let her go. He doesn’t yet stand up though, staying crouched so he can maintain eye-contact with her. “Papa will pick you up after school today, alright? And you’ll go spend the weekend with him.”

“I _know_ , Daddy,” his six-year-old daughter Callie groans, rolling her eyes at him like he’s the most embarrassing thing she’s ever witnessed.

“Call me if you need anything, at any time, okay?” Keith insists softly, looking her right in the eyes; the exact same ones he sees in the mirror every day. “Even if it’s at night. And if you wanna come home early…”

“Daddy, I’ll be _fine_ ,” Callie huffs, crossing her little arms and pouting at him. “Go already. I’m gonna be late for class.”

Keith sighs, his chest aching as he rises to his feet and prepares to leave his heart behind.

“Text me over the weekend, okay?” Keith says, petting Callie’s head one last time. “And be good for Papa, and do your homework.”

“Yeah,” Callie says, and despite her earlier words and behavior, she steps forward to press up against Keith’s left leg for a bit, holding onto his waist. “Bye, Daddy.”

“Bye,” Keith murmurs, stroking her back as far down as he can reach standing up, before he makes himself let go. He sees Callie watching him go, so he waves to her. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Daddy,” Callie says, waving back. But then she turns around on her heel and briskly enters the classroom, leaving Keith all by himself.

Keith watches her through the door until Callie’s teacher Lance shuts it. He lets out a sigh, allowing his head droop for a bit, before also turning and heading out of the building and back to his raggedy old car. He sits inside with an even deeper sigh, the familiar empty hole inside his stomach growing. But he has no time to ponder that now. He has to get going if he doesn’t want to be late for work.

So he forces the empty feeling down, turns on his car and drives away like he does every other Friday.

…

Takashi Shirogane’s Friday starts alone, just like all his days do.

He’s mostly gotten used to it. After all, it’s been just him for several years now. But just because he’s gotten used to his empty, huge apartment doesn’t mean it never feels lonely; especially when everything about it seems to remind him of things he’d rather forget. He’d bought this place originally as a means of showing off. Adam may not have always liked what Shiro did to earn the money, but he certainly appreciated the wealth itself and the stability it brought. Back then, Shiro had truly hoped this might one day be a home to their family.

Now the whole business of it just feels dumb and foolish. At this point, Shiro honestly doesn’t even know why he keeps living in this penthouse. Perhaps it’s just become yet another habit Shiro can’t seem to break, even if just being in the apartment now makes him feel like there is a gaping wound in his side. Or like a limb that is quite literally missing. Shiro is grateful for his prosthetic, and how well it works for him, but most of the time he can’t bear to look at his right hand at all. That, too, is just another constant reminder of everything he doesn’t want to think about.

With a groan, Shiro forces himself to get up. He quickly sheds his pajamas and changes into his running gear before heading down. Running in the morning in the brisk early winter air gives him a boost to properly wake up and feel a little better. The November morning is cold but surprisingly bright, the sun having decided to grace the people of Marlton City with its presence for once. Shiro welcomes the crisp air, the sting of it a perfect antidote to shake off the remnants of his sleepiness and heartache. The shower he takes once he gets back helps too.

Still, Shiro is glad Fridays are his days to spend at the office. He prefers being there much more than here, so after drying off, he’s happy to put on his button-up shirt and neat black slacks, and even wear a tie. He makes sure his hair is neatly styled before wrapping up in his coat, grabbing his things and heading out the door.

By the time Shiro makes it out of his building the second time, he’s smiling. He stops by at his regular coffee shop and gets his usual: coffee with three sugars and a dash of soymilk, and a croissant, to go. Shiro leaves his normal large tip as he heads back out into the cold. The coffee warms him nicely, a perfect and familiar mix of bitter and sweet on his tongue as he makes his way through the city.

Oriande Publishing House’s main office is located within a walking distance from Shiro’s apartment, so it only takes him twenty minutes to reach it after getting his coffee. The tower of the building is magnificent as ever in the morning sun, the glass windows glittering like diamonds in the natural light. Shiro steps through the glass door into the enormous lobby of gleaming Altean materials in white and blue. He waves hello to Romelle the receptionist, and heads to the elevators to take him to the twenty-fifth floor.

As the doors open on the floor of the office space of _Oriande_ magazine, Shiro is greeted by the familiar sight of people buzzing around, sipping their coffees and working on their stories for the newest issue in their cubicles and other spaces. It’s strangely comforting for Shiro to slip through the crowds discussing the latest fashions and the newest ideas on how to take the magazine to new heights. _Oriande_ is a paper that is the up and coming publication for “any and all peoples across the universe who are interested in people, culture and life,” as the slogan goes. Shiro knows how much it means to all these people to make sure the magazine stays on top. It’s up to all of them to make that happen and every one of them is up for the challenge.

The dedication is personified in the chief editor of the magazine, whom Shiro greets with a smile as he steps into the biggest meeting room for the morning meeting. “Good morning, Allura.”

Allura Altea is stunning, something even a man as gay as Shiro can notice. It’s not at all hard to believe that her family are the descendants of the Altean monarchy, with her regal cheekbones, her tall and willowy body and her long, shining locks of silver hair, today partially pulled into a bun at the back of her head.

“Wait a tick,” Allura says, holding up an elegant hand. Shiro obediently takes a seat close to her at the oval-shaped table, setting down his now-empty coffee cup.

Allura’s clearly already hard at work, typing away on her laptop with her perfectly manicured nails, her long dark lashes curving beautifully as she reads over what she wrote, her fingers thumbing her lip in thought.

Many would probably find it strange that the direct descendants of the old royal family of Planet Altea would wish to find success in an intergalactic publishing house of all fields, but watching Allura, Shiro isn’t shocked in the least. She may technically own the whole building with her family, but Shiro knows she works harder than anyone else making sure the magazine given to her is the best it could possibly be.

Allura reads a few more lines, before she seems satisfied. She closes her laptop, looking across to Shiro and giving him a smile. “Good morning, Shiro.”

He smiles in return. “Good morning, Princess.”

Allura waves off the old nickname with her hand, accompanied by a small snort, before her eyes land down on the coffee cup in front of Shiro. As she looks up at him again, her blue eyes are narrowed. “You know, we do serve coffee here at the office. For free.”

“Don’t shame my Starbucks habit,” Shiro says with a wry grin, but he picks the cup up and stands to his feet to put it in the trash. “It’s the only thing that brings me joy anymore.”

“Shiro,” Allura says, suddenly serious when Shiro turns to look at her again, her brows furrowing. “Remember what we talked about?”

“I shouldn’t use humor to self-deprecate,” Shiro groans, flopping back down into his chair.

“I’m not reminding you to be cruel, Shiro,” Allura says gently. “I’m just trying to help.”

“I know, I know,” Shiro huffs, trying to quell his burning irritation. He takes in a few deep breaths, deciding a change of topic is in order. “So, what’s on the agenda today?”

Allura purses her lips, giving him a quick once-over to figure out if it’s worth it to insist on sticking to the issue. But in the end, she only says, “Just the usual. Stories for next week, letters for you to answer, numbers to run through…”

“Have the letters been picked out yet?” Shiro asks, already feeling the spark of excitement in his chest. This is what he loves the most about his job, after all. “Any good ones?”

“I’m not quite sure ‘good’ is the right word,” Allura says, her shoulders hunched as she rubs her arm, her eyes darting across the room nervously. “Interesting, nonetheless.”

Shiro raises an eyebrow. “Controversial?”

“Rather the writer gives off an unpleasant feeling,” Allura says, the pinch in her eyebrows and the squint of her eyes, the only signs of frustration on her face.

“So you’re saying you have a feeling that the writer is an asshole,” Shiro translates.

Allura looks at him, straight and serious. “You can turn it down, naturally, but if you can pull it off…”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Shiro says, giving her an encouraging smile. In his gut, he already knows he’s going to do it. Allura wouldn’t have suggested it to him if there wasn’t some sort of point to it. She must think it would be good for the magazine, and Shiro can’t bear to let her down. Not when she’s worked so hard to get where she is, and when he owes her so much. “You know I always like a challenge.”

“That you do,” Allura says, managing a small smile in return. “I would however suggest that you warm up towards this particular letter with the other, more regular ones first. It wouldn’t do if you simply quit in the middle, out of rage.”

“Okay,” Shiro says, nodding. “Maybe send the asshole’s letter to me later then?”

“I can do that,” Allura says, giving him a nod of her own.

Just then, there’s a knock on the door and they both turn to see Allura’s PA/secretary/second father figure, Coran, peek inside. “I am sorry to disturb your discussion, Allura, but the rest of the journalists and the board members are here for the meeting now.”

“No apology necessary, Coran,” Allura says with a smile. “Please, send them in.”

Coran nods, and soon enough a flux of people flood into the office space, everyone taking their seats. Shiro sighs internally before turning his office mode on, and settles in for the more boring side of his job.

…

Keith is grateful that he has a job he loves and that allows him to work extra hours when he wants. At least focusing on his patients helps him take his mind off how lonely the upcoming weekend is sure to be; even with the dinner he has scheduled for tonight. And even then, it’s taken him and his friends weeks of planning and schedule-checking to make time for with how busy all their lives are right now.

Marmora Clinic has almost become a second home to Keith. He’d started out doing his internship here while he was still in nursing school, but after only a few weeks there, Keith had known that Marmora was also where he’d most want to work once he graduated. Thankfully, it seems everyone liked him just as much because he was hired officially almost immediately after getting his papers.

The clinic is small and relatively private, with five doctors not including the director of the place, and twelve nurses including Keith himself. Perhaps because of its Galra director and founder, Kolivan, Marmora attracts almost exclusively alien staff and clients. Keith feels like he belongs there in a way that he hasn’t felt in very many places in his life. Although he hasn’t really been able to get in touch with his Galra side, given that his Galra mother had left him and his Dad long before Keith could even comprehend what being half-alien meant. In a strange way it’s been a relief to be around and to work alongside people who share some of the same genes as him. There are many things Keith has been able to learn from his coworkers both about himself and about his people and culture. It helps that he gets along fairly well with most of them.

He’s especially grateful to work under Dr. Ulaz in the clinic and to have him as his mentor. They’ve known each other since Keith’s internship and Ulaz has continued to be a positive, encouraging and warm presence in Keith’s life. He’s always very understanding of what being a parent means for Keith. He’s understanding, allowing Keith to leave early to pick up Callie if she gets sick during the day and letting him have his phone with him at all times in case someone from Callie’s school needs to reach him during the day. He reminds Keith of his Dad in some ways, and although it was a little painful to realize that, it had also endeared the man to him almost immediately.

Keith thinks he would feel lucky to be able to work as a nurse anywhere, but he’s especially grateful for it on days like these, when he feels like he could crumble with how much he already misses his little girl. He’s sure Ulaz notices, but he also knows Keith well enough to leave him be and just let him work. But Keith doesn’t miss the extra cup of coffee that mysteriously appears on his desk either.

The gesture warms him more than the drink itself.

…

_Dear Shiro,_

_I’m 24 and I’ve recently started dating the woman of my dreams. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted, and I wake up amazed every day that she’s mine. We’ve only been together for a few months, but I already know she’s the one._

_My problem is, I’m constantly faced with the fact that we kinda come from different worlds. My family wasn’t poor or anything, but we definitely worked hard for every penny, while she’s got a very wealthy and successful background. And now, I’m just a teacher for a group of six-year-olds and she’s got a high-end corporate job that pays probably ten times as much as my job does, since she’s the boss._

_Now don’t get me wrong, I love my job, and I’ve actually done a lot of work to understand that that’s okay. That I don’t have to do something super ambitious. that probably won’t even make me happy instead of what actually does. But I can’t help but feel like she might find me lacking in some way. I can barely keep up when she talks about her job and I don’t even own a proper suit! I know the guys she has dated before me have all been rich and smart and went to the best intergalactic schools and so on, and I just feel like I can never compare. I’ve even put off meeting her parents because I’m afraid they won’t think I’m good enough for her. I don’t want to lose her, but I’m afraid that with the way things are, it’s inevitable._

_Please help, Shiro, you’re my only hope! I really love her and would give anything to keep her in my life!!_

_Love,_

_Sharpshooter_

Shiro sighs as he finishes reading through the first message asking for his advice in the next column. He may adore his job, and love the idea that he helps make the lives of the people who take the time to write to him a little brighter, but _God_ does he sometimes wish that people would just use a tiniest shred of their common sense when it comes to their relationships.

Then again, maybe he can’t really. He often wonders how the people writing to him for advice would feel if they knew Shiro himself hadn’t been able to keep his man around. How he feels like everything in his life, aside from his job is meaningless and empty and grey. How he wishes he could make some sort of change, how badly he feels stuck in place. He doesn’t even have plans for the weekend, as all his friends are busy with their own lives. Even Allura is going off to meet her boyfriend’s parents apparently.

He shakes his head, trying to clear his thoughts. He takes a few deep breaths, focusing in on the letter, before squaring his shoulders and starting his reply.

_Dear Sharpshooter,_

_I’m very happy that you feel like you’ve found your true love with this woman. Love is an incredible, precious thing that is worth cherishing every day and I feel like you know that. That’s why my first line of advice to you is to simply show your lady friend how you feel, how much you care about her. Make her feel loved, feel wanted and cherished. Let her know how much you care. Do things for her that you know she’ll love. If you don’t know what they are yet, ask her._

_Which brings me to my next point. I always say that the most important part of any relationship is communication, and I feel like at the moment you’re not doing too much of that with your lady friend. What I would suggest is that you be open and honest about your feelings and insecurities. Tell her you can’t always keep up so well when she talks, and perhaps she will even explain it to you! Or let her give you suggestions about how to research the topics further on your own._

_That being said, there must be a reason why she is with you, just like there must be a reason for why she is no longer with any of her exes. If you feel up to it, you can even ask her what she likes about you and then let those sides of yourself shine when you’re with her. In any case, being open and honest are the most important things you can do with her and it’ll likely bring you much closer together. It may even be that she is harboring some insecurities of her own or things she wishes she could talk about but doesn’t know how to start. Be the starting point for the both of you!_

_However, prepare yourself for whatever she has to say and try not to take it too persona-_

Shiro stares at the last line. No. That’s probably a bit too bleak.

He quickly deletes the last sentence.

_Good luck!_

_Shiro the Hero_

There. That’s much better.

Shiro falls back to rest against his office chair. The thought of having to return to his empty, silent apartment at the end of the day leaves a heavy feeling in his stomach. If Shiro wanted to, he could easily work from home most of the time, but he’s always preferred to come to the office since he started at this job. Being in the building, surrounded by people and the hustle and bustle of life in it makes Shiro feel a little less alone. Plus, it gets him out of the house. With all his friends leading such busy lives, Shiro would be short of human interaction if he didn’t come in on his workdays. It’s the only way he can think of to not completely isolate himself.

Shiro raises his prosthetic hand up to his neck, using a simple thought to turn on a slight vibration to try and rub away the beginnings of a headache. He hums at the mild relief it provides, but his thoughts still leave him wondering, not for the first time, what exactly qualified him for the position of an advice columnist. What really qualified him for his previous job, even? He may have had the credentials and the experience to go with them, but how can Shiro truly expect to fix anyone else’s problems when his own life is such a mess?

Shiro lets out a sad, self-deprecating chuckle. Truthfully, he knows why. He’s always been a lot better at dealing with other people’s issues over his own. It’s actually been one of his major coping mechanisms over the years, and one of the major reasons he even entered the field of psychology in the first place. Helping people has always felt meaningful to him, but it’s also given him a sense of control over the world that he couldn’t have over his own life.

Shiro knows it’s not exactly healthy, but he likes to think he’s doing better now than he was at his old job. At least here, he can think his answers over, doesn’t usually have to be face-to-face with the people he gives advice to. He also enjoys how working for a magazine gives him the opportunity to express himself in writing, something he’s realized he finds very creatively fulfilling. The change has been very good for his general well-being.

Even if he might still be using his job as a means to run away from his own problems.

…

If it wasn’t for the plans Keith has for tonight, he probably would’ve stayed overtime at the clinic, hoping to work away his troubles and loneliness. He usually works all the way through the weekends that Callie spends with her other father; saving up his vacation time and pay so that he can have time and do fun things with his daughter on the weekends and holidays he gets to spend with her.

This particular weekend, though, Keith was convinced to take off.. Practically everyone in the office told him that he works too much. Keith should call them out on their hypocrisy since everyone at Marmora is a workaholic; but then again, he supposes if the other workaholics point out he works too much, it’s time to take a break.

It’s just hard for Keith to not feel like he’s got to continuously prove himself at Marmora. They gave him a chance when most clinics looked down on him for his past and heritage, despite him being the top of his class in nursing school. He doesn’t want to let down the people who believed in him, doesn’t want to make them feel like they made a mistake taking him on.

Still, he’s not sure what he’ll do for the rest of the weekend. He _is_ glad to be home at a reasonable hour this particular Friday at least. He can’t even remember when he, Hunk and Pidge all had time to spend together for a whole evening. They may text and call once in a while and Keith sometimes sees one of them for a bit here and there. Overall it’s difficult to make plans when a friend group includes a nurse with a six-year-old child, and two grad students, one of whom has a part-time job and the other an internship.

He checks his phone when he makes it to his car. There is a new message from Callie, attached to a picture.

**_Callie:_ ** _made it to papa’s. he’s making dinner :)._

The picture attached is of Callie and James in front of James’s admittedly impressive house, heads pressed together and grinning at the phone camera. It really makes them look like a father and daughter and Keith hates that it’s a little painful for him to see.

It’s strange to think that at one point Keith would’ve done almost anything for James to take responsibility like this. To have someone to fall back on for a chance to sleep just a little bit longer when Callie was crying. But now all Keith can do is feel the weight on his chest, remembering when Callie was still just a baby and depended on him for everything. Things may have been more difficult back then in more ways than one, but they were also simpler. And now Keith can’t help but miss it all a little.

**_Keith:_ ** _Remember to eat your vegetables and do your homework._

Keith puts his phone away with a sigh. All he can do now is hope Callie will listen to him, because he knows James won’t actually make her do anything.

He drives back home and takes a quick shower, changing his clothes into his comfortable red-and-black flannel shirt and some jeans, and blow-drying his long hair before braiding it. Now that he’s off the clock and going to see his friends, he puts some of his earrings in; his favorite red studs in the outer ear and the black rings hanging from the lobes.

When he’s ready, he drives over to the apartments near Marlton’s college campus where Hunk and Pidge live. Keith had never met a couple who were brought together through their smarts and nerdiness. And then he met Pidge’s parents and her brother; a man with an actual AI for a girlfriend.

He wouldn’t trade any of them for anything or anyone else though.

His mouth begins to water as he thinks about what delicious things Hunk might have cooked for them to eat tonight. Keith is by no means helpless in the kitchen, having learned to cook out of necessity a long time ago. But he’s never tasted any food that tastes quite like anything Hunk comes up with. Not to mention it’s always a luxury to be able to step inside and have a meal ready and waiting to be eaten.

He walks up the stairs to the third floor where his friends live, and rings the doorbell. The door opens up for him soon enough, revealing a grinning Pidge and letting out the warm, delicious smell of food cooking inside.

“Hey there, soothsprite,” she says, stepping forward to wrap him in a hug tighter than her small size would have most believe.

Keith gasps out a breath in her grip, but wraps his arms around her in return, leaning down a bit so he can envelop her entirely. Her touch seems to bring warmth into his whole body, a friendly affection he had forgotten how much he misses. “Hey, Pidgeon.”

Pidge gives him one last tight squeeze before letting him go, her smile never faltering as she gestures towards the door. “Come in already, don’t just stand there.”

Keith rolls his eyes playfully at her, but steps inside the cozy apartment that is a mix of a design magazine chic, a book hoarder’s lair, and a nutty professor’s laboratory. Various parts and other knick-knacks are on every available surface except the kitchen area, which Keith knows to be sacred.

As if summoned, the God of the kitchen steps into his view, wearing an apron and a grin that matches that of his partner. “Keith!”

“Hey, Hunk,” Keith says with a smile and lets himself be pulled into another tight embrace. Hunk is soft, large and warm against him, practically engulfing Keith’s entire frame. The way he hugs always made Keith feel a little bit more like things would eventually be okay, and that’s the way he feels even now. Hunk was the first person to ever believe in him and care for Keith since his Dad, and Keith is forever grateful for his friendship and help. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to repay him, but he hopes Hunk at least knows how much Keith cares.

He squeezes Hunk a bit tighter before the larger man lets go.

“It’s so good to see you, buddy,” Hunk says, taking in his face. “But god you look pale. And skinny. Are you eating enough?”

Keith chuckles affectionately. “It’s good to see you too, Hunk. And I’m fine, really.”

“Well, I made plenty, so you better eat at least two servings, okay? And I’m packing you some leftovers.”

Keith just nods, knowing it’s useless to fight, and moves to take off his shoes and leave them by the door before he steps further into the apartment. It’s one of the few habits that he’s carried with him all these years, through all the foster homes and orphanages, homeless shelters and his own apartments. It’s a connection he still has with his Dad, from the times in the Arizona desert that Keith barely remembers after all these years. The days when his Dad would remind him to always remove his shoes at the door so he wouldn’t bring sand into their little home in the middle of nowhere.

Keith has been passing the habit down to Callie, too. He wouldn’t admit it out loud to anyone, but it’s a way for him to keep a little piece of his Dad alive, repeating his lessons to his own child now.

Keith takes his coat off, hanging it up before stepping properly into the open-concept space of the apartment. It’s just him and his friends for dinner, which Keith is secretly a little glad about. The world is so small that when Pidge and Hunk were still in undergrad, their third roommate was, of all people, Lance. But although the pair were friends with Keith and Lance both, the two of them have never really been able to see eye-to-eye. For whatever reason Lance always took it upon himself to needle Keith over every little thing. And while Keith knows he’s since matured, treating Callie just like any other student despite his past with her father, Keith still can’t help but be a little relieved he is apparently taking his girlfriend to meet his parents for the weekend.

“Come, take a seat at the table,” Hunk calls from the direction of the kitchen. “Dinner is just about done. I made sapasui for tonight.”

“Thanks, I’m starving,” Keith says. “I’m just gonna wash my hands first.”

Hunk nods, Pidge already taking her own seat at the table. “You know where the bathroom is.”

Keith does, and he makes a quick work of washing and drying. Still, by the time he makes it back, Hunk has set his hot pots down on the table and is serving everyone’s portions. Keith can’t even complain over his large portion already served with how good it smells and looks. He just sits down and digs in with the others.

The food is as great as ever, warming Keith right to his bones and it’s no hardship for him to eat a second portion and even a small third one, as he and his friends catch up after such a long time apart. Keith does his best to keep up as Pidge and Hunk explain their latest research and projects in college. Then Keith talks a little bit about how his own work is going, but of course the conversation quickly and inevitably turns to Callie. After all, Hunk and Pidge are her godparents and dote on and adore her almost as much as Keith does. They haven’t seen her in a while either and Keith can tell they miss her. He reminds himself to try to make sure he can arrange some time for them to spend with Callie soon. After all, this was what he had always wanted for her; a large, loving family with many people around that love her, so unlike his own lonely childhood.

He’s in the middle of a story about the last time he and Callie went to the flea market when Keith notices Hunk and Pidge in the middle of one of their silent conversations, where they talk just by using their expressions. If it was annoying when they were all teenagers, it’s infuriating now. Keith would hope they were far enough into their friendship that they’d just come out and say what is on their minds rather than leave him out because they think it’ll hurt his feelings.

“What?” he snaps, stopping in the middle of his story, the familiar flame of anger flaring up inside of him. “Do you have something you wanna say to me?”

Keith supposes it does give their friendship a little credit that Hunk and Pidge don’t even flinch. They just turn to him, looking strangely sad.

“Keith,” Pidge starts, slow like she’s talking to a child, and that just makes everything even worse. “You’ve been talking about little girl clothes for the past fifteen minutes.”

“So?” Keith asks. “Gendered clothing for kids is weird. Do you know how hard it is to find winter clothes for a little girl that aren’t somehow…weird?”

“Hey, I’m not arguing with you there,” Pidge says, holding up her hands as a sign of surrender. “It’s just kinda sad that this is the most fascinating thing you have to talk about.”

“Well, _sorry_ ,” Keith huffs, crossing his arms, glaring at Pidge from below his brows. “I can stop.”

“No, buddy, don’t take it like that,” Hunk cuts in. “We’re just a little worried. You sound like you don’t have much of a social life.”

“Well, how can I, when you guys are never available?” Keith snaps. But realizing this is going a bit too far, he takes a few calming breaths, and says, “Sorry, that was uncalled for. I know you guys are busy.”

“It’s okay,” Hunk says kindly. “And you’re not exactly wrong. But our point is that haven’t things started to settle down for you by now? You’ve graduated and got a good job and Callie’s not always around since she’s with Jackass every other weekend.”

Keith averts his eyes. “I wish you wouldn’t call him that.”

“Why?” Hunk asks, as always. “That’s what he is.”

“He’s still Callie’s other father,” Keith tries. “I’m trying to work with him now, not against him.”

Not that James makes it easy very often. But Hunk and Pidge don’t need to know that. The important thing is that Callie loves her “Papa” and wants him in her life. And so long as James is a decent enough father to her, Keith is willing to let that happen. And part of that means maintaining some level of peace between James, himself and everyone else, no matter what.

“There’s a difference between working with him and letting him walk all over you, Keith,” Pidge says.

“I am _not_ letting him walk all over me,” Keith hisses. “I’m just trying to find a rhythm for us.”

“And what kinda rhythm is it?” Hunk asks. “One where you make all the sacrifices and he gets to reap all the benefits?”

“Yeah, Keith,” Pidge says. “I mean, when was the last time you went on a date?”

Keith blushes, suddenly feeling under scrutiny. It reminds him eerily of the feeling he’d have whenever adults came to the orphanage and would look him over. It makes him want to make himself smaller and hide, just like back then. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“You’re not letting yourself even have a chance to be happy with someone after what he did to you,” Hunk states. “His shadow is still looming over you, and I don’t think him being back in your lives is making that any better.”

Keith wishes he could argue, but he can’t think of anything to say. Hunk is not wrong. The way James treated him…it’s something Keith still can’t forgive, as much as it feels pathetic to admit it. They hadn’t even been dating, hadn’t even been friends. They had just fucked on the regular, and not even very well as far as Keith was concerned.

But he’s letting James stick around because it’s not about him or them anymore. It’s about Callie. And so, even though seeing James and having to put up with the way he looks and talks to Keith makes him feel like a vulnerable and lonely eighteen-year-old, he’s willing to deal with it all so Callie can have all the people she loves in her life.

“Keith,” Hunk speaks up, breaking him out of his thoughts, even though his tone is gentle. “Keith, you deserve to have someone treat you right. I know Jackass really screwed you over but not everyone is like that.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Keith says with a shrug, still avoiding his friends’ eyes. “I can’t date casually because of Callie and I don’t really want to just do the casual fucking either.”

 _Not after what happened the last time_ , he doesn’t say, because it would just further prove Hunk’s point.

“There is a line between casual dating and being immediately ready for marriage, Keith,” Pidge puts in. “We’re just saying, you could try it. Even if it doesn’t work out, you might at least make a new friend. Have a bit more of a social life for yourself.”

It’s then that Keith turns to look at his friends, and sees the looks they are giving each other. It’s the same look they have when they come up with new and creative ways to solve their problems with their newest machinery.

“Oh God,” he lets out. “You already have someone in mind. Don’t you?”

“Yup,” Pidge says, not even trying to hold back the sly grin taking over her face. “His name’s Shiro. He’s Matt’s best friend, so I’ve known him for a long time too. He split with his ex a while back and I think he needs a little push to get back out there now, just like you.”

“So now I’m a pawn in giving that guy a push?” Keith asks, huffing, eyes angrily lowered down at the table.

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it,” Pidge says. “I just think the two of you would be good together; get something I think you both might need from each other. If nothing else, you can talk about your shitty exes. Shiro’s a pretty good listener and I think he could use a willing ear too.”

“What about the fact that I have a kid?” Keith mumbles. “Would he be willing to overlook that?”

“I’m sure he will,” Pidge says. “I also know for a fact he’s dated a few other trans guys, so that won’t be a problem either.”

Keith bites his lip. That would’ve been his next argument against this being a good idea.

“Please, Keith?” Hunk says, leaning in closer over the table until Keith looks up at him and his big brown begging eyes. “It’s just one date, and it’s not like you have any other plans over the weekend, right?” He pauses. “If nothing else, you can get another meal out of it.”

Keith sighs, looking up at his friends’ wide, eager expressions, and despite himself, finds his resolve slowly crumbling.

“Fine,” he forces out. “But I want you to disclose the fact that I’m trans and that I’m the one who gave birth to Callie before the fact. If he still wants to meet up with me after that, I’ll do it.”

“Done,” Pidge says, grinning. “Don’t worry though, you’re gonna love him.”


	2. Chapter 2

The small restaurant is packed on Saturday night, people sitting and making conversation at the small square wooden tables filling the space. The window to the kitchen behind the reception counter radiates warmth to the entire room, along with the delicious smell and sound of frying grease and boiling pots. It’s a smell that has always touched Shiro somewhere deep whenever he would step a foot in this place; like a memory he had long forgotten but that had impacted him strongly enough to leave an imprint on his very soul.

Shiro doesn’t really remember his early childhood years in Japan, before the car accident that had taken his parents and he’d been shipped off to the US to live with his grandparents. The smell of this restaurant, run by a Japanese immigrant family not unlike his own, always made him wonder if the food his mother cooked made her kitchen smell like this. His Grandma’s did, he thinks, from the few years he had with her until she, too, had passed away.

Unfortunately, his Grandpa and him shared a similar level of cooking skills, and they generally had to depend on other people to feed them. His grandfather had kept him connected with the culture of his birth in other ways, but with food they always had to have what they could either order in or ask for from their neighbors. In some ways Shiro was grateful for it; he had been exposed to so many different kinds of foods and flavors, but the reason for it being necessary would always leave a sad tinge to it.

Shiro had found this restaurant during his undergrad; it wasn’t very far from the college campus and where he lived at the time. Having just lost the last living member of his family, the place made him feel like a little piece of him had been returned to him when he’d stepped inside and been greeted by the smell, the sound of Japanese and the familiar letters decorating the walls and tables.

And now, the restaurant was full of memories for Shiro. He’d come here when he needed to feel a little bit more like he belonged, needed to feel settled or safe. He was friendly with the staff here and after they’d learned Shiro also spoke Japanese, they were always willing to lend a friendly ear to him. He’d brought Adam here on their first date, he’d celebrated here after every milestone at school. He’d come here after he and Adam had another fight and he needed a place to escape to.

He hasn’t been here since just before he and Adam broke up.

He’s not even sure why. He’d loved coming here for so long, but when Adam was gone, it seemed like yet another thing that reminded Shiro of him and all that he’d lost. And yet, when Katie practically pushed this blind date on him, this was the first and only place Shiro could think of to meet up with the guy he was being set up with. It may not be entirely appropriate, given Shiro’s whole history with the place, but…he’s always felt at his most lucky and secure here. And if he’s really going to be doing this, he needs as much of both as he can get. Plus, he really has missed the food at this place, and it’s not like Adam was the only one he ever came here with. It’s not that weird to meet someone new here, right?

Shiro sighs to himself, playing with the fresh chrysanthemums on the table with his fingers, feeling their velvety smoothness just to have something for his sweating flesh hand to do as he tries to calm down his pounding heart. Honestly, the restaurant is probably the least awkward, nerve-wracking thing about all of what is about to happen. Shiro can barely even remember the last time he was out on an actual date-like event with someone. Even with Adam, things had turned so busy and sour towards the end that most nights they had just stayed in. And while he’s been on a few dates since, it’s certainly been a while.

He’s not sure if even now he’s ready to try. He and Adam were together for years and yet…

Shiro looks down at his prosthetic hand, lying on the table before him. He makes a fist just because he can, barely able to hear the quiet whirring sound of it over everything else going on around him in the restaurant. All of the roughly twenty hours he’s known this ‘date’ was happening, he’s been debating if he should call Katie and tell her to tell the guy she’s setting him up with about his…appearance. Even now, when he’s here, he’s not sure if he’d prefer the guy to know about it beforehand, or get to see on his face how much anything between them is never going to work out.

Even the staff at his restaurant hadn’t recognized him at first when he’d walked, until he’d spoken. They’d welcomed him back very warmly after that, seeming overjoyed when he told them he was here to meet someone new. But Shiro can’t lie to himself over the fact that seeing their reactions stung.

Can Shiro really expect this Keith person to react any different?

He sighs, burying his face in his hands. He needs to learn how to say no to Katie… somehow. Someday, Shiro won’t be so weak before her snippy but sound logic and big hazel eyes. The way he has been since that first holiday break in college when Matt had invited him to stay with his family, because he knew Shiro no longer had a home of his own to go to.

Someday.

But evidently, this particular Saturday is not that day, because here Shiro is, in one of his nicer knitted sweaters with a white button-up underneath and some neat slacks, waiting to meet a stranger whose life is still somehow only a few people removed from his own. Katie has told him a little bit about his supposed blind date, like the fact he has a six-year-old daughter that he gave birth to, a shitty ex who is the little girl’s other father, and that Keith works as a nurse at a local clinic. Shiro has to admit the occupation at least puts him a little bit more at ease. The guy has probably seen weirder things than a man with two-toned hair and one arm.

She had refused to show Shiro a picture of Keith, though (“I want your disaster gay reaction to be authentic when you meet him,”), but she had told him to wear a black shirt and told him Keith would be arriving in a leather jacket and he’d have long, dark hair.

Shiro takes out his phone from his pocket, checking it for the time. He came in early, so Keith’s not late yet. Shiro just hopes he’ll arrive soon, so he can get whatever this is going to be over with. The way his stomach keeps cramping with nerves makes being in a restaurant rather unappetizing.

“Uh, are…” Shiro hears a raspy, deep voice speak nearby. “Are you Shiro?”

That’s when Shiro looks up to see who had spoken, and he swears his breath catches in his throat as he does, leaving him gaping openly like a stunned fish.

Before him is the most beautiful man he has ever seen.

And he’s wearing a leather jacket and has long, black, braided hair.

…

Keith has to admit the place Pidge told him Shiro wants to meet him at raises his opinion of the man a little already even before he’s met him. It’s a place Keith himself has gone to a few times when he’s missed the Japanese side of his father’s cooking, or when he’s just been close to the college campus and wanted to treat himself. The place is neat, and affordable enough that Keith has never felt too bad about eating there, even with his tendency to count every penny just in case; and the food is authentic and tastes home-cooked, because it is. Then again, Pidge did mention that Shiro is Japanese, so he would probably know about the authenticity of the food as much if not more than Keith.

So Keith had gotten himself ready for his so-called date. He may want to scare Shiro off, but that doesn’t mean Keith is going to be rude about it by looking like he didn’t care at all about his appearance for the date. Shiro is Hunk and Pidge’s friend, after all, and deserves at least basic courtesy. Therefore Keith had showered, put on one of his better pair of jeans and his one neater, deep red button-up under his black leather jacket. He’d debated about his piercings; some people found them off-putting and he could’ve used that, but they were also one of the few things Keith didn’t like being judged for. They were a part of him and his self-expression, just like being a parent or how he only bought clothes he paid less than fifty dollars at most for. In the end, he’d put in his lucky red jewels in his lobes, just for a bit of himself to carry around.

Unfortunately, Keith’s first impression of Shiro certainly wasn’t squashed when he actually meets the man. In fact, despite the delicious smell all around them, Keith feels butterflies in his tummy, sitting across from the most gorgeous man he’s ever met.

Shiro is broad and muscular, with chiseled features and beautiful dark eyes. The little white tuft of hair he has looks both artful and adorable and Keith has to hold back the urge to reach out and run his fingers through it just to test its softness. Shiro has plush lips and Keith can only imagine they’d be incredibly soft to kiss, and the scar that runs across his nose only makes him seem rugged and experienced more than anything else. When he stood up earlier to shake Keith’s hand, to introduce himself, stuttering and blushing sweeter than Keith would’ve expected from a man who looks the way Shiro does, Keith could also see that he has several inches on him.

Shiro also has a prosthetic limb for his right arm, not that that phased Keith much. It’s not the first one of its kind he’s seen, or he’d be a pretty inexperienced nurse. But the familiarity of the design on the arm was admittedly a little fascinating. Keith’s seen many of its kind at Marmora, given that Ulaz specializes in traumatology and working with people who need new limbs. The tech from Daibazaal, the home planet of the Galra, is most known for producing artificial limbs. It’s not surprising given the species’ long history as a waring people before they settled down a few hundred years ago. Seeing the familiar tech of his people makes Keith a little curious, but it’s not his place to ask. So he keeps his mouth shut and makes sure to look Shiro in the face rather than at the arm. He knows such attention can make people uncomfortable and he doesn’t want that for Shiro.

Not that it’s much of a hardship to look at Shiro. Honestly, the only difficult thing about it is that it’s like staring into the sun. Every time Keith looks at him, he can feel his heart thump, and he feels a little bit dizzy with it all. It’s a feeling completely foreign to him, too, and it makes his cheeks tingle with a flush and his mouth feel dry. Even with James, it was never like this. Keith had mostly just seen an opportunity and taken it. Of course, it had soon led into more trouble than he was ready for when he’d realized just how starved for affection he was, but still. This sort of immediate attraction is something Keith is fairly sure he’s never experienced before.

Realizing the silence between them has probably lasted long enough after Keith sat down opposite to Shiro, he tries to think of something to say. But it’s like his throat is constricting around every word, keeping him from speaking. All of this feels somehow way too intimate. Keith can talk to his patients without problem, but at a more personalized interaction like this, meeting a new person on what is supposed to be a date…

Not knowing what else to do, he grabs himself a menu from the stand holding them on the table, just so he looks slightly less awkward, even though he’s pretty sure he already knows what he wants to order. But it’s the best he can think of doing to buy himself at least a few moments to think about what to do or say next.

He’s feverishly trying to focus on the words on the page, when a smooth voice speaks, “Look, I’m sorry.”

Keith looks up and over towards Shiro, who is staring at somewhere at his side, his cheeks flushed adorably pink and his shoulders hunched in a manner that tells him he’s very uncomfortable. It’s oddly cute on such a large man, and what’s even stranger is that seeing it puts Keith a little bit more at ease. It helps to know Shiro is nervous too, that he’s not alone in feeling like this is weird.

Keith puts his menu down, swallowing around the remaining dryness in his throat, trying to make his voice come out kind. “Why are you sorry?”

Shiro turns to him, giving him a sheepish smile. Keith’s heart jumps into his throat at the sight of it. It looks boyish and makes him look young, which only adds to Shiro’s cuteness.

“I just don’t know what to say,” Shiro admits. “It’s been a while since I’ve been out with anyone like this, let alone with a new person.”

Keith snorts. “You’re not the only one.”

The words coming out of his mouth surprise him a little. It’s less honest than he thought he was going to be. He came here tonight to try to scare the guy he was meeting away so Pidge and Hunk would maybe get off his back about dating for a while. It’s not like it would’ve been hard to do – all Keith would’ve had to do is talk about his life. Stars know he has been through enough shit; gave him baggage so heavy that most people wouldn’t want to touch him with a ten-foot pole.

But now that he’s actually met Shiro… Keith’s not so sure. Aside from being extremely good-looking, he seems kind. A little bit shy, maybe a bit awkward despite the way he looks. He probably doesn’t deserve to be dragged into the mess that is Keith’s life, but…for some reason, Keith also can’t bring himself to push Shiro away yet.

Just then, the waiter comes in to take their order, breaking the moment for a bit. Shiro orders katsudon, Keith his favorite noodles with beef.

Afterwards, for a moment they just look at each other, both obviously trying to think of something to say. Keith tries to will himself not to look away, even if Shiro’s beauty is still more than a little blinding upfront like this.

Shiro clears his throat. “Katie mentioned you have a daughter.”

The name throws Keith for a moment, before he remembers. He doesn’t hear Pidge’s given name all that often; only really when he sees her parents, since even her brother tends to call her by the nickname he originally came up with. He can’t help the way Shiro’s use of that name, so casually, raises his credibility in his eyes a little. He knows Shiro has known Pidge for a long time, but it settles him to realize just how close they must be.

“Is that the reason you haven’t been out on a date for a while?” Shiro asks, not quite able to meet Keith’s eyes, but his tone gentle and soft regardless.

The topic puts Keith a little more at ease. He can talk about Callie forever if needed. It’s his go-to topic to anyone who cares to listen. Knowing he can use that now settles him.

“Yeah, pretty much,” he says with a shrug. “I could never regret having my daughter; she’s the best thing in my life, but being a parent at this age hasn’t left much room for me to have a social life.” He pauses to give a self-deprecating smile. “Not that I had much of one to begin with, though.”

Shiro chuckles, his shoulders relaxing a little. “I could say the same thing. I have a core group of friends, all of whom I’ve known for years, but that’s about it. Of course there are people I know through work, but…”

“It’s easier to keep a distance with coworkers,” Keith says, nodding in understanding.

“Exactly,” Shiro says. “It’s like there’s a script or something on how to be with people you meet at work, but there’s also this kind of…wall there.”

“Do not pass into the untouched, personal zone.” Keith snorts out a short laugh.

Shiro smiles widely. “You need to be at least a Level Four friend to unlock my tragic backstory.”

They look up. They smile at each other. They laugh.

Keith feels his ease growing.

…

It’s been less than half an hour into his date, their food hasn’t even arrived yet, though Shiro has a feeling it will soon; the service at this restaurant is always fast. And yet in those thirty minutes, Shiro has become convinced Keith is the most amazing man he’s ever had the privilege of meeting. Aside from his nearly unfathomable, otherworldly beauty – with his unique purple eyes that shine like galaxies as Keith laughs; his soft, pink mouth that makes Shiro’s breath catch with every smile, his fine features and soft-looking long dark hair – Keith is also clearly witty and smart and funny in a dry sort of way that Shiro can certainly appreciate. He can’t believe a person like this exists, and what’s more, that he’s here with Shiro right now.

And yet Shiro knows all of this is just a pipedream. There’s no way he can let Keith get mixed up in all of Shiro’s issues. With his daughter and everything that comes with her, Keith probably has enough on his plate. Shiro can’t be so selfish as to add to that, to try to tarnish his beauty with his ugly pain. Shiro should just fake getting a call or something, should leave Keith alone before he starts thinking or hoping for something to come out of this.

But as Shiro looks at Keith’s sweet features flushed from his gentle, raspy laughter, he can’t make himself move. His cheeks tingle with blood, his heart pounding in his chest, and he can’t look away. Keith is just…so much. Too much for Shiro to avert his eyes, now that with their common laughter, he feels like he is allowed to look.

Before either of them could say anything else their food arrives. Shiro thanks the waiter in Japanese, and hears Keith do the same. It alone wouldn’t be surprising – Keith could’ve learned the single word anywhere – but the fact he seems to lack any sort of American lilt to the word is. What is even more startling is that instead of taking the fork provided for everyone at the restaurant just in case to eat his ramen, he doesn’t hesitate to pick up the chopsticks, pulling them apart and starting to eat his noodles like he’s done so his whole life.

Adam never even learned how to use chopsticks.

Unfortunately, Keith quickly picks up on his staring, looking up at him from below his brows and through his long, dark lashes in a questioning matter. Even looking a little suspicious like that, with his mouth full, he’s alluring.

Keith sucks in the noodles he’s eating into his mouth, swallows, and says, “What are you looking at?”

“Sorry!” Shiro shrieks, jumping a little. “Just…I was a little surprised.” He pauses. “You use chopsticks. A lot of people don’t, here.”

Strangely, that makes Keith’s expression soften. He looks down at the bowl, his lips in a small, sad frown.

“My Dad was half Japanese,” he says. “We didn’t have much opportunity to be in touch with any side of my cultural backgrounds when I was growing up, but he made due with what he could teach me, what he knew, even if it was just the little things. A few words and phrases of the language, leaving my shoes at the door, eating with chopsticks…we both held onto those things even with time I guess.”

Shiro blinks. “That’s wonderful.” He licks his lips, musing. Keith shared something about himself, he should return the favor. “My grandparents emmigrated to the States when they were still young and made their life here basically out of nothing. My father was born here, but he grew up in a very Japanese household, at least comparatively. He met my mother during an exchange year to Japan and decided to stay there. They eventually had me, but they… they passed away when I was still very young, and I was moved back to America to be with my grandparents. They raised me until adulthood in that same Japanese household my father grew up in.”

Shiro expects the pitying look he usually gets when he talks about his parents, the sad sigh that comes with it, and lowers his eyes so he doesn’t have to face it. Shiro thinks he might miss them sometimes in theory, but the truth is he doesn’t remember them at all. He does miss his Grandma and Grandpa, but that’s something he doesn’t want to get into right now.

What he doesn’t expect Keith to say is, “My Dad died when I was ten.”

Shiro looks up, eyes growing wide with shock. “What…really?”

“Yeah,” Keith says, putting a few more noodles in his mouth. “It’s nice that you had your grandparents. My Dad and me were all we really had, so I went into foster care.”

“What about your Mom?” Shiro asks, but then catches himself. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer that.”

“It’s fine,” Keith says. “I might mind if it was someone else, but…I kinda feel like you might understand, since you’ve been through some of it.”

“Yeah,” is all Shiro can say.

“I never really knew my Mom,” Keith admits. “She walked out on us when I was a baby, I don’t know why. Dad didn’t tell me much about her. All I know is that her name was Krolia and that she was Galra.”

Shiro blinks. “Galra? Really?”

“Yeah, I know,” Keith says with a wry smile. “Don’t really look it, do I? But I can tell you, there’s more to my Galra side on the inside.”

Shiro almost wants to say that he can easily believe Keith is half-alien because he doesn’t think any human could ever be so attractive, but he bites his tongue. He just feels a little silly, now. Given how much he used to love space and the stars, is it any wonder the most amazing man he’s ever met would have roots somewhere up there in the cosmos?

“Sorry,” Shiro says, hunching in on himself and feeling like it’s the 100th time he’s said it tonight. “I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“You weren’t, really,” Keith says. “It’s only as an adult that I’ve been able to get more in touch with that side of my background, since I work at a clinic with mostly Galra staff.”

“Oh, yeah,” Shiro says, grateful for the subtle change in topic. “Katie mentioned you’re a nurse.”

“Yeah,” Keith says. “I kind of always wanted to be one, ever since I was a kid. I just didn’t think I could do it. But Hunk encouraged me to apply to school not long after we met and, well… I did eventually make it.”

“That’s really incredible,” Shiro breathes. “I mean, you’ve been a single parent to your daughter all this time and yet you managed to put yourself through school while raising her and providing for you both, and make it through to start working at your dream job.” He gives Keith a warm, genuine smile. “That’s really inspiring, Keith.”

Keith’s cheeks flush a deep shade of red, which only adds to his beauty, and he averts his eyes. “It’s not that special…”

“No, Keith,” Shiro says, leaning his head on his hand. “It really, really is.”

Keith still won’t look at him. Shiro gets the sense he’s not used to open compliments.

“Your katsudon is getting cold,” Keith says after a moment, drawing more noodles into his mouth.

Shiro takes his given cue, and digs into his meal.

…

Keith almost hates how well this so-called date is going. There’s just something about Shiro that, after breaking the initial ice, seems to put him at ease. He feels like he can be himself around him, let down his walls a little. It’s like their mutual friends have picked up just the one in a million person who just might _get_ what Keith’s been through, and is still going through.

As Shiro finally starts to eat his katsudon with his own chopsticks, and since it’s on his mind now, Keith takes his opportunity ask, “So, Pidge mentioned you’re her brother’s best friend?”

Shiro looks up from his bite, his cheeks full of rice. Keith holds back a laugh at his stuffed cheeks as Shiro swallows down.

“Apparently? I didn’t know Matt was calling me that,” Shiro says, smiling sheepishly. “I’ve certainly known him and Katie both for a very long time. We grew up on the same street, and Matt and I ended up going to the same college here, too, and rooming together.”

“Sounds nice,” Keith says, a little wistfully despite himself. “I didn’t really get to have the whole college experience. I just went to night school in between everything else.”

“Well, to me, that’s much more impressive,” Shiro says. “You’re several years younger than me, but you’ve already had so many more milestones in life than I have…it makes me feel a little inadequate.”

“It really shouldn’t,” Keith says, a little too honestly. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. I have got a lot of regrets. Even my daughter…” Keith runs his chopsticks through his ramen, twirling the noodles around in the bowl absentmindedly. “As much as I love her, and I don’t regret having her, I wish I had been smarter about it. It would’ve saved me from a lot.”

“Like your ex?” Shiro asks. Keith shrugs, but he feels a little colder inside with grimness. “I…I could say the same thing. I met mine in college.”

Keith raises an eyebrow, looking towards Shiro. “Were you together long?”

“Yeah, kind of. Years,” Shiro says, his words coming out like a sigh. “In the end, he wasn’t that great. We’d been having problems for a long time, too. But still…”

“I get it,” Keith says, the warmth of empathy settling in his chest. “My ex is pretty shitty, but it still took me a long time to get over him.” He lets out a huff. “If it makes you feel any better, at least you’re not forced to still interact with your ex because you have a kid together.”

Shiro looks up at that, his eyes wide. “I didn’t know you were allowing visits.”

“She’s with him for the weekend, actually,” Keith says. “I allow it…for now. James isn’t a bad father to her. If there’s one good thing I can genuinely say about him, it’s that he loves our daughter. He may not have been around at first, but…he is now, and Callie – my daughter – she wants him in her life. If any of that would ever change, I would fight tooth and nail for sole custody, even if it killed me.”

Keith takes a few deep breaths. He always gets a little heated when talking about this.

“Sorry,” he says, shaking himself off.

“I don’t mind,” Shiro says. “I can’t imagine how difficult it must be, still having to have him in your life.”

If only Shiro knew, Keith thinks with a suppressed shiver.

“We don’t interact much, unless it’s about Callie,” Keith forces out, trying to sound natural and neutral. “I try to make sure of that.” He looks over at Shiro, and somehow finds himself adding, “Truth be told, I don’t know if I could keep myself from strangling him if I had to interact with him more.”

Shiro snorts out a laugh at that. Keith smiles. It was totally worth it. Especially when Shiro ends his small laugh in a wide smile, and it’s warm enough to make Keith’s insides feel like they’re glowing.

“That’s a very mature way of looking at things,” Shiro says. “Heaven knows there are enough exes who can’t even do that. I should know.” At Keith’s blink, he continues, “I used to be a marriage counselor.”

“Huh,” Keith hums, a little surprised. “What do you do now?”

“I’m an advice columnist, if you can believe it,” Shiro says, his smile turning a little shy.

“Huh,” Keith repeats. “Neat. What’s that like?”

“Well, I can’t speak for everyone, obviously,” Shiro says, and suddenly his eyes are shining in a way that makes Keith’s guts feel funny. “I liked being able to help people as a counselor, but in the end, I think I tended to take in a bit too much. Living my clients’ lives instead of my own. I suppose eventually I realized I needed something else in my life and decided to pursue writing as a more serious part of my life, rather than just a hobby. Long story short, I was eventually asked by a friend who works in a magazine to fill in as a guest columnist once, and everything just sort of took off from there.”

“That’s pretty cool,” Keith says with a lopsided smile.

“Well, how about you, then?” Shiro asks, putting a bit more rice in his mouth. “You said you’ve wanted to be a nurse since you were young. How did that happen?”

Keith shrugs. “I had always good experiences with them, I guess. Since I was a kid, nurses have been some of the few people who I felt were actually willing to listen to me and help me. I never did end up wanting to talk, but that’s on me, not them. And then…”

He pauses to bite his lip, trying to control the storm brewing inside of him. He’s been over this so many times. It’s been years. It shouldn’t affect him like this anymore, not when he was even able to say it so easily before, like the fact it is.

“Keith?” Shiro’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts. “Are you okay? You don’t have to say it if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s fine,” Keith says. Shiro will understand. Keith knows in his gut he will. He just needs to get it out.

He takes in a breath, forcing the words to come. “My Dad was a firefighter,” he says. “He was my hero. I always wanted to help people the way he did when I grew up, but…”

To his great surprise, Shiro reaches over the table and takes Keith’s hand in his. It feels warm, like an anchor to this world, and it fits around Keith’s own hand so well, large and safe. His heart settles a little, and as he looks over at Shiro, he sees an encouraging, warm smile on his face.

“My Dad died in the line of duty,” Keith admits. “His teammates broke the news to me personally, right after they got back from the fire that took him, and they still smelled like smoke, and were covered in soot.”

He takes in a breath. “I’d wanted to be a firefighter like my Dad, until then. But for years afterwards I felt like I couldn’t get that smell of smoke out of my nose. And I knew I wouldn’t be able to go anywhere near fire after that without remembering. So I knew I had to help people in some other way. Nursing sort of came to mind as time went on.”

He lets out a sad laugh. “So as you can see, my ex is not my only damage.”

Shiro gives him a sad, soft smile. “Neither is mine, as I’m sure you could already guess.” He holds up his prosthetic right hand. “This is usually enough to put off most people.”

“Most people are shit,” Keith huffs, managing a wry but sympathetic smile through his burning eyes.

“Yeah, pretty much,” Shiro agrees with a snort of his own, before he looks over at Keith. “You’re not gonna ask what happened?”

“It’s not my place to ask,” Keith says. “You’re not my patient tonight.”

…

“If only I’d be so lucky,” Shiro responds with a playful smile.

The truth is, he’s hiding the warmth spreading from and settling into his chest. One of the many reasons he’s been avoiding getting back into the dating scene is that he’s met far too many people who have wanted to ask invasive questions about his arm right after meeting him. They see finding out what happened as some sort of natural privilege. Only the people who were with him when it all went down, know how to balance things, know when to ask and to push, and when not to. And Shiro wasn’t sure if he could handle his dates also demanding to know things about him, or what their reactions might be if he wouldn’t want to share. When he wouldn’t want to recall the events of that day.

He’s shocked that Keith doesn’t press, but no less grateful. No less warmed by his consideration.

The two of them settle into a comfortable silence as they eat a little bit more, but Shiro finds himself occasionally glancing over in Keith’s direction, watching him slurp his remaining noodles up into his mouth. He really does have very long eyelashes. They only seem to highlight his high cheekbones and long nose.

Keith’s eyes snap up to look at him, and Shiro nearly chokes on his rice.

“So,” he says, clearing his throat, and trying to think of something to say. “You, uh…you know how I know Hunk and Katie, but how about you? How do you know them?”

Shiro congratulates himself a little internally for the clever save.

Keith smiles softly, the nostalgic look makes Shiro’s heart thump, as he puts his chopsticks down. “When I first got pregnant, I had a lot of trouble keeping any food down. I was sick all the goddamn time,” Keith begins. “I figured that maybe the problem was that the food I was cooking on my own didn’t agree with me or something, so I decided to try to eat somewhere else. I didn’t have much money at the time, but there was a nice diner not too far from where I lived back then, and their prices weren’t too bad and I’d eaten there in the past. I went there for breakfast.”

Keith’s smile turns a little sheepish. “I ordered my favorite blueberry pancakes. But as soon as I’d eaten one little piece of them, I felt so sick I had to rush to the bathroom to throw up.”

“Oh no,” Shiro says, though he’s still smiling. He figures it’s okay, since Keith himself seems to be amused by the story.

“Yeah,” Keith says, shaking his head. “Anyway, Hunk was working at that diner at the time. He was the one who’d made the pancakes for me, and I guess he was a mix of offended and worried that I had to throw up after just one bite. He followed me to the bathroom and went so far as to rub my back as he asked if something was wrong with the pancakes. I choked out something like, ‘No, I’m just pregnant.’ And then, when I was done throwing up, he made me some tea, free of charge, to help settle my stomach.”

Shiro’s smile softens. “And knowing him, he just kind of adopted you into his life after that.”

“Pretty much,” Keith says, smiling. “I don’t think I could’ve made it this far without him. He’s helped me with so much.”

Shiro nods silently, shoving a bit more rice and fried pork into his mouth. He can’t help but wonder if there is more than one reason for why Keith hasn’t dated for a while. While Hunk and Katie have been dating since their sophomore year of college, Shiro knows well that that doesn’t always stop someone else from falling in love with a person who is already taken.

He swallows around his urge to ask. It’s not really any of his business, and he’s already found out so many personal things about Keith. He probably shouldn’t push it.

As if reading his mind, Keith lets out a long breath, before he looks up. “Look, Shiro,” he starts, shuffling in his seat awkwardly, like the words are difficult to say. Shiro can feel a lump forming in his throat. “You seem really nice. I’ve had a good time tonight. But it’s because you’re so nice that I think I need to be honest with you.” Keith bites his lower lip for a bit before he continues, “I’m not really keen on dating. I only really came tonight so Hunk and Pidge would get off my back. But the truth is, even though things are better now than they were a few years ago, there’s still a lot going on in my life and a lot of things are complicated, and…”

“You don’t need to explain,” Shiro cuts in, gentle but also firm. He lets go of Keith’s hand, but manages a small smile in Keith’s direction, even as his mouth tastes sour. “Honestly…I’m a little relieved to hear it. I don’t think I’m ready to start anything quite yet either.”

Each word feels so false on his tongue. His mouth is saying one thing but his heart is screaming at him. Looking at Keith’s beautiful eyes, at his soft expression, Shiro can’t help but wonder a little what could’ve been. But he also knows you can’t force someone to love you. And if this is what Keith wants, he’s not going to push it.

“Oh,” Keith breathes, his eyes growing wide, before he deflates, smiling at Shiro. “Great. Okay…”

“I could use a friend though,” Shiro continues, making his smile a bit warmer. He really hopes Keith will accept at least this much from him. It’s been a long time since Shiro has felt a connection like this. He doesn’t want to let go of it just yet, not so easily.

To his joy, Keith’s smile widens a little. “I could, too.”

…

Keith is grateful that the waiter comes in after his difficult confession to take away their empty bowls.

“Would you like dessert?” the waiter asks kindly.

Shiro looks over at Keith. “What do you say? I could use some.”

Keith swallows. He doesn’t usually have dessert and even now, a part of him is reluctant. He feels raw and exposed, and a rather large part of him wants to just finish the night and go home to be sad in peace. He had no expectations about tonight, least of all how well he and Shiro would get on, or how attracted Keith has become to him in such a short time.

But that’s exactly why Keith can’t let this progress any further than friendship. He wasn’t lying to Shiro; his life _is_ complicated in more ways than one. He doesn’t want to involve Shiro in it, not when the man clearly has some issues of his own and might be keen to use other people’s problems to avoid his own. But aside from that…Keith’s life is just finally _good_ after so many painful years. If what happened with James had broken him so badly; after what in the end wasn’t even a relationship, he can’t imagine what would happen if he and Shiro became something and then they would inevitably fall apart.

Not to even mention what could happen if things were to work out. It would rock the boat too much. Keith can’t put himself or anyone close to him through that. He’s done with hurting. He needs to protect himself and his family now, be smarter than he was at eighteen and really think about the consequences of his actions.

Even if he can’t quite bring himself to turn Shiro away completely. He can do, friends. And he supposed it’d be a shame to not stay in contact with someone who he feels understands him so well.

Still, right now all he wants is to escape the situation. But that would also look far too much like cowardice, like he was running away from the situation. And he doesn’t want Shiro to think that way about him.

So, he shrugs at Shiro and says, “Sure.”

Keith picks up the menu again to look at the desserts as Shiro makes his own order; a purin custard with a cup of coffee.

After eyeing the options for a while, Keith asks, “Can I get the mochi ice cream without lactose?”

“Certainly,” the waiter says. “Would you like to order the ice cream?”

“Yes, please. Strawberry.”

“Very good, sir. I’ll be right back,” the waiter says, heading towards the kitchen.

Keith puts the menu away again, and as he turns back towards the table, he finds Shiro looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

“What?” Keith huffs, a little sharper than he meant to.

“You’re lactose intolerant?” Shiro asks.

Keith blinks. “Yeah…”

Shiro smiles. “That’s cool. So am I.”

“Huh,” Keith hums, for the lack of anything better to say. Another thing they have in common.

Keith seems to not be able to come up with anything to say either, ending up just staring down at the table, his neck and cheeks prickling with an awkward blush. This is why he doesn’t like meeting new people. As nice as Shiro is, as much as Keith likes him…he can’t change that.

“Hey,” Shiro speaks up, making Keith look up at him. “I know you said you work a lot and I’m sure your daughter takes up a lot of your time, too, but…is there anything you like to do for fun?”

Keith exhales, feeling as though all tension he hadn’t even realized he was holding in his body melts away with that single, long breath. A safe, simple topic. He can do that.

“I’m kind of boring, unfortunately,” Keith admits. “I do stuff with Callie on the weekends she’s with me. We go to the playground or biking or make picnics sometimes. But mostly we tend to go to the skate park.” He smiles sheepishly. “I used to skate when I was a kid. Callie’s been into it for a while so I’ve been teaching her what I can remember of my old tricks. Other than that, I mostly just try to stay active in any way I can, when I can.”

“That sounds fun. It doesn’t sound boring at all.” Shiro smiles. “I’m not that interesting when it comes to my hobbies either. I run, go to the gym, read and watch TV.” Keith could’ve guessed the first two, given Shiro’s physique, but he bites back the comment. “That’s about it. Sometimes I go out with my friends but we’re all pretty busy these days, and Matt even lives in a different state, so…”

“I hear you,” Keith sighs, shaking his head. “It’s a nightmare trying to make plans with Hunk and Pidge nowadays.”

“Which is why I think both of us could use a new friend,” Shiro says.

Before Keith can answer, the waiter arrives with their desserts, placing them neatly in front of them. He takes the opportunity to be quiet and tucks into his mochi ice cream. Shiro seems to do the same with his custard. It does look very good too, swimming in the caramel as it is, though if Keith had to eat the whole thing he’d probably find it too sweet and filling.

Embarrassingly enough, Shiro must notice the way Keith eyes his dessert, because after taking the first few bites, he puts a large piece on his spoon and points it towards Keith.

“Want a taste?” Shiro says with a coy smile that is far too dangerous and makes Keith’s heart jump into his throat.

He bites the inside of his mouth, averting his eyes as his cheeks heat up. He’s pretty sure the look on Shiro’s face, the tone of his voice and the whole action of offering him some of his dessert falls outside the “friend” category. It all makes Keith’s insides feel hot and squirmy.

“You don’t have to,” he says, and his voice comes out a lot hoarser than he meant it.

“Come on, just one bite,” Shiro says, still giving Keith that look, the one he’s only really seen on guys just before things got hot and heavy. He doesn’t want to think about it now. Not when he’s trying to maintain his distance. Not when Shiro said he also didn’t want anything more than friendship from Keith.

He feels stupid. He really hasn’t grown up at all in the past six years, has he. Just a few kind words and a couple of heated glances are still enough to turn him into mush.

Keith swallows hard, steadying himself.

“Thanks, but no thanks,” he says, cutting further into his ice cream. It feels like he’s turning down more than one delicious treat in his heart. He just wishes it didn’t make him ache so much, even when he knows it’s the right thing to do. “This is fine.”

Shiro shrugs.

“Suit yourself,” he says, before turning his spoon around and putting it into his own mouth instead.

Keith swallows his own cold treat, hoping against hope it might cool his insides off a little.

…

In Shiro’s opinion, they finish off their desserts almost too fast. He hadn’t wanted the night to end with the meal, which is why he had suggested it. He’d also felt they needed to settle the situation a little before he and Keith went their separate ways after the tough conversation they had. But after offering Keith a bite of his pudding, and Keith turning it down, they don’t really talk as they finish up their treats. The night feels over with the dessert, and Shiro knows he can’t keep Keith any longer once the waiter comes to get their glass bowls. Shiro’s out of excuses to have Keith stay with him a while longer. The night is too cold for a casual walk, and Shiro has a feeling Keith wouldn’t be up for a drink at a bar to top the night off.

Shiro can’t deny that a part of him wishes he could invite Keith over to his apartment for a little late night fun, but he knows he can’t. If Keith wants to be friends, that would be highly inappropriate. Besides, with everything that has happened to him in life, Keith seems like a guy who takes sex as seriously as he does anything else in his life. And if a hookup is all Shiro can offer him right now, it’s not worth the awkwardness that is sure to follow.

Still, after they’ve gone Dutch to pay for their meals, put on their coats by the door and made it outside the restaurant, Shiro can’t help but say, “I had a really good time, Keith.”

He’s relieved when Keith smiles warmly, but with a strange sad tinge to it, and says, “I did too.”

“I’d like to do this again sometime,” Shiro continues. “You know, as friends.”

“Yeah…friends,” Keith says, staring down and shuffling his feet. “I can’t promise anything about when, though. You know, with everything.”

“That’s okay,” Shiro says. “But maybe we can text in the meantime? You can let me know when you’re free? I am pretty much allowed to set my own working hours, so we can just do things at your pace.”

Keith looks up then, and his expression is a little softer, as if he’s relieved. “Yeah, that…that sounds good, actually.”

Shiro smiles. “Then, can I have your number?”

“Yeah,” Keith says, taking his phone out of his pocket. “Switch?”

“Sure,” Shiro says, taking out his own phone.

They exchange phones between them, and Shiro puts both his working line and personal number into Keith’s contacts before they switch back.

Keith looks up at him after he puts his phone away again.

“I should get going,” he says, sounding apologetic. “Callie’s coming home tomorrow and I need to do chores before then in the morning. I shouldn’t stay up too late.”

“Yeah,” Shiro forces out through the twinge of disappointment. He’s not sure what he’s supposed to do in this situation. If this had been a proper date, he might chance a kiss on the cheek, but it’s not. How is one supposed to act after a first friend-date? Should he give Keith a hug? Would that be too much too fast?

In the end, he settles for a semi-awkward pat on Keith’s shoulder. “Well…sleep tight.”

“Yeah…you too,” Keith says, giving Shiro one last smile before he begins walking to the other side of the street, to a red hovercar parked nearby that must be his. Shiro’s eyes follow him until he drives away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith masturbates, tags apply.

On Sunday, Keith wakes up early even though he’s still tired when he does. He’s just too used to it. Used to rarely having the chance to sleep in because of his job, his child, and his everyday life. He can’t stay awake very late and time spent lying in bed in the morning feels like a waste, even when he has the chance to do so.

As he gets up, he can’t help but think how far removed his life has become, from seven years ago when he’d go to sleep at maybe four AM, usually in someone else’s bed because for a while the only alternative was either the park bench or a homeless shelter; and then he’d wake up between eight and twelve, depending on when his bed partner needed him to get out.

Keith would definitely much rather take what he has now, but he still can’t help but think how boring his life currently is, as he runs the coffee machine and makes some toast for himself. He’s only twenty-five, for Stars’ sake. And it’s not that Keith misses the uncertainty, the lack of care for himself, the loneliness, the drinking, the drugs or the meaningless sex he’d used to try and forget about his loneliness...

He sighs, taking out his toast and buttering them, before pouring himself a cup of coffee and adding a dash of soymilk from the fridge, the way he always takes it in the morning.

Keith doesn’t miss the life he had when he was eighteen. He really doesn’t. His life sucked when he was eighteen. But he also can’t help but think that he was just so much braver at that age. His younger self had taken what little money he had from his Dad, and as soon as he legally could, he left. Skipped out of the dusty old town in Buttfuck, Arizona that was all he’d known, and taken the first bus up north. He’d randomly decided to get off at the eighteenth stop in Washington State, that having turned out to be Marlton.

And this is where he remains to this day. And Keith knows he’s got a lot to be grateful for now. But thinking about the long hours ahead of him before James brings Callie home, listening to the silence in the apartment that is missing his heart’s laughter and background noises… Keith can’t help but wonder if Hunk and Pidge are right after all. Maybe he really has no life.

As soon as Keith finishes his toast and his coffee, he pushes his thoughts aside the best way he knows how – by working. He may have been lying slightly when he talked to Shiro about the chores he has to do today, but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing for him to do. Whenever he has the chance, he likes to do what he can on the weekends when Callie is away, then he doesn’t have to do it when she actually is around and he could be doing something with her.

He starts by washing his breakfast dishes. Then he goes to change into some clothes he generally wears for exercise – an old rundown t-shirt and some shorts – and starts cleaning out the whole apartment. He gathers up the clothes lying around and empties the hamper, putting the first load in the washing machine he’s glad to now have in the apartment. As the first round washes, Keith takes out a wiping rag and cleans every surface he can think of of dust. Afterwards, he goes to make sure nothing is in the way on the floor, before taking out the vacuum cleaner, even going as far as vacuuming the couch.

He removes all the floormats and gathers them up in a bag. He puts on a coat and takes them to the downstairs laundry room to wash. When he comes back, he mops the bare floors. By the time he’s done with that, he can return to the laundry room to get the mats, and puts them to dry on the balcony despite the chilly weather.

He takes a shower afterwards, changes into more proper clothing and dries his hair. He unloads the first round of laundry and hangs it up inside, putting another load in before making a grocery list and heading to the store a short walk away. He buys enough food to last himself and Callie for the first few days of the week at least. With some of the fresh ingredients, he cooks a mean pot of chicken chili that he has for lunch; and puts the rest of it away for Callie to eat when she comes home, or for them to have for dinner on Monday. He does the dishes again and puts them away. He unloads the second round of laundry and takes it to the dryer downstairs. He scrolls through Twitter mindlessly as he waits for the dryer to finish, then unloads the machine and takes the clothes back upstairs to the apartment.

As he folds the clean, dry laundry, Keith looks around his apartment, smelling of disinfectant and practically gleaming with cleanliness. Everything is done, and yet there are still several hours before James is supposed to drop Callie off.

 _Stars_ , Keith needs a _hobby_ or something, he thinks as he flops down the couch with a sigh. Callie’s not going to be getting any smaller. She’s still going to need him for quite a while longer, thank the Stars, but Keith supposes there is some truth to the fact that he can’t keep on living his life just for her, or putting his life on hold until she grows up. His own life will pass him by if he keeps doing that, and by the time she’s ready to leave him he’ll just be a husk, with no identity and no life outside of her. He’ll be back to right where he started before he got pregnant.

Keith’s body feels heavy with weariness and buzzing with energy at the same time, like ants are crawling inside his skin. He could go out for a run or do a little yoga for once to calm down, but he doesn’t really feel like doing either. And he’s already showered anyway.

For lack of anything better to do, he grabs the remote and turns on the TV. But something’s gotta give, and preferably soon.

Keith’s mind immediately conjures up an image of Shiro, the way he smiled and how warm his hand felt on his own last night. How safe and understood he made Keith feel. How easy it had been to be with him.

He feels his cheeks heat up, and shakes his head, trying to focus on the TV. Not that. _Not that._

…

In general, Shiro likes his Sundays calm and easygoing. It’s the one day of the week where he allows himself to take completely rest; to relax and unwind from the week. Over the years he’s come to realize that he needs to set strict boundaries for himself when it comes to work. Otherwise he’s never going to stop working and he’ll burn out. He used to be more spontaneous about it, about taking time for himself, time off to do things that he liked, but…

On regular Sundays, Shiro usually still wakes up early. He is rather a creature of habit after all. But unlike any other day, on Sundays he usually lets himself stay in bed for a few extra hours, occasionally dozing off or goofing on his phone, until his stomach bugs him to the point he can’t ignore his need for breakfast.

Today, however, Shiro feels strangely buzzed as soon as he wakes up. His legs feel like they can’t stay still, and he can’t relax enough to nap, can’t make himself focus on a single social media app. His head feels muddled with the urge to do _something_ , he feels close to bursting with the sound of silence around him, of every little noise in his apartment. From the ticking of the clock in the bedroom, to the sound of the wind banging on the windows. The apartment feels suffocating, the large bed cold, and the long, tiresome day with nothing to do before him is daunting.

The more Shiro lies there, the more he tries to make himself relax, the more frustrated he gets. He gets up. The apartment still feels too big and cold yet too small and suffocating at the same time as he walks into the living room. But the day outside is bright, sun shining from a clear sky, tempting and inviting with its light.

And suddenly, Shiro knows exactly what he needs to do.

He quickly changes into his running gear, puts his credit card and some cash in his pocket before he heads down to the streets. If he’s going out anyway, he might as well use the opportunity to get something better for breakfast than the plain old cereal and coffee combination he usually eats when he’s at home in the morning.

Shiro ends up running for ten miles, mind feeling pleasantly blank and then calm and exhausted afterwards. On his way back, he finds his way to a nice diner located between his route to work and his apartment that he’s always eyed on his way but never visited before now. He orders pancakes and syrup to go with his coffee and orange juice, and the sugary sweetness is just what he needed after a refreshing workout. He makes sure to leave a large tip and promises himself that he’ll come back.

He walks the rest of the way home, feeling like there is a new spring in his step. As he reaches his building and makes his way to his apartment and to the bathroom, Shiro finds himself eyeing his bathtub. He doesn’t use it very often, showering just being so much faster, but this morning has been so full of new, wonderful things. And he knows he can fit into it, even with his bulk.

Shiro starts running the water, stripping out of his sweaty, chilly clothes and putting them in the hamper. He even takes out some of the bath oils that he sometimes gets as presents but has never actually used. When the tub is about halfway full, he settles inside, letting the water run for a while longer as he sinks in with a deep sigh. The water feels heavenly, caressing his body and loosening his muscles. He’d forgotten how much he likes baths.

As Shiro sinks deeper into the water, it also makes him wonder. When did he become this attached to rigorous patterns and routines? When did it get so hard for him to deviate from just simple daily things in his life? Hadn’t he been adventurous once? Hadn’t he loved trying out new things? Hadn’t he enjoyed the adrenaline rush, the danger of pushing himself? Hadn’t the risk and the danger been his favorite things about being a test pilot? The way he got to try out all the new tricks and feel the way the ships and planes moved beneath his hands as he pushed them to their limits; until he and everyone working on the planes knew exactly what they were capable of?

He sinks deeper into the water with a heavy sigh. _That’s it, isn’t it_ , he thinks, glancing over at his right arm.

Everything that happened back then…in the end, it changed Shiro into exactly who he didn’t want to be. Made him into the person Adam always demanded he be, the one that Shiro tried so hard to push back against because the thought of being something other than who he was, felt unbearable. The only thing Shiro used to be afraid of was not living out his life the way he wanted, that he’d die with regrets. And now it’s like he’s almost scared of life itself, of anything changing when once upon a time that was what he most loved about being alive. And yet now, when Adam is gone and Shiro has been left behind in pieces, he’s only the husk of himself that he always tried not to be.

With these thoughts circling around in his mind, Shiro can’t bring himself to stay too long in the tub, washing himself and his hair quickly before grabbing a towel and drying himself off. He changes into comfortable clothes before falling down on his couch, wondering what the hell he’s going to do with the rest of his day. All his friends are busy and there’s nothing for him to do. He could go to the gym later but he’s already run; he can’t go immediately so he doesn’t overexert his muscles.

A vision of Keith dances behind his eyelids as he closes them, of his beautiful eyes and that cute smile. Shiro shakes his head and those thoughts far, far away. They just saw each other yesterday and Keith said he’d be busy today. Shiro can’t bother him now, can’t come on too strong.

He just wants to escape…

Shiro blinks to himself. He usually doesn’t do it on Sundays, but…this has already been a day of changes. Perhaps it won’t be so bad if he deviates from his pattern a little bit more, just this once, even if it possibly means he really is a workaholic. But maybe he can take it a little easier in the week instead if he gets started now?

Besides, his column is always the best distraction for Shiro. And right now, that’s exactly what he needs.

Without thinking more about it, Shiro takes out his laptop and opens up the file where the letters he’s been assigned to answer next week are. He still hasn’t looked at the supposed challenging one Allura has picked out for him, but he thinks it’s best to save it for later. It’s probably something serious, that will require Shiro’s full attention, and for now he thinks he needs something simpler. He may never half-asses his job. Knowing that despite him just being a written word on someone’s paper or screen; he does actually hold some influence on what the people who write to him do with their lives.

He looks over the letter titles and randomly chooses one that doesn’t sound horribly complicated.

_Dear Shiro,_

_My lifemate and I are both Galra and natives of Daibazaal. We have been together for a long time. However, due to certain circumstances, my lifemate has taken residence on Earth, working as a doctor. We both imagined that he would only be staying there for a few years, but with each year coming to an end, he always says he’s not quite ready to return to Daibazaal permanently._

_I work for the defense forces of our planet. I have many times entertained the thought of possibly suggesting to my lifemate that I move to live with him on Earth as well. I believe that this point, despite what he says, he wishes to stay there permanently. The distance between us is painful and I feel as though the only way for us to make it at this point is for one of us to cave and go to the other._

_The problems with this are many. Neither of us are young anymore, though Stars willing we should still have many more years before us. I am not sure how well I will be able to adjust to a new planet, new culture, new technology. I am also not sure if I’ll be able to find work on Earth. However, most of all, I must admit I fear my lifemate may have come to enjoy the distance between us rather than resent it the way I do. Perhaps the love between us has faded and become one-sided. I know I should talk to him about all this, but I’m afraid it might open up conversations and wounds I would rather not have, revealing more than I wish to know._

_What do you think I should do?_

_Sincerely with gratitude,_

_Lonely_

Shiro smiles a little despite himself. This letter sounds perfect, just what he needs to take his mind off things.

He briefly wonders, not for the first time, if he should feel guilty over the fact he likes hearing about other people’s problems. If he were a better man, surely he’d hope that those problems wouldn’t exist at all? But Shiro also knows that life simply doesn’t work that way. He always reminds himself that the important thing is that these people are reaching out, trying to solve their problems, and not letting them fester. And Shiro can help them reach a solution. That’s what truly matters.

 _Dear Lonely,_ Shiro begins writing.

_I am sorry to hear about the distance between you and your lifemate and the loneliness it causes you. It is a feeling I know very wel-_

He pauses. That was a bit too personal. He deletes the last few words and rephrases.

_It is a feeling many of us know only too well. Long-distance relationships are always difficult in multiple ways, even more so when the one you love is on a whole different planet._

_However, I think, based on what you say in your letter, you already know what you need to do. You need to actually talk to your lifemate about all your worries and thoughts. If you plan to stay together, you can’t let these problems fester and grow bigger than they need to be. Not when it’s clear you still love your lifemate dearly, and want the two of you to be together._

_I think it’s admirable you are thinking of moving your whole life for his sake. However, I can’t guarantee what your lifemate’s answer to any of your questions or thoughts will be. It may be as you fear; that he finds your distance pleasing rather than saddening. Still, the only way out is communication. Even if it brings up things that you won’t love hearing, at least everything will start to move forward and you can begin to actually work on whatever problems the two of you might have._

_I must also tell you something you might not like to hear: I think it’s time you stand up for yourself. I don’t know the whole picture of course, but it sounds like your lifemate has been distant for a while and trying to cut you out of the loop, making decisions without really consulting you, and that’s not fair to you. Relationships should be about compromise and working together. It’s not fair of your lifemate to keep you waiting without a definite date that will end the distance between you. You deserve better than that._

_I hope it all works out for you! Good luck!_

_With love,_

_Shiro the Hero_

Shiro smiles to himself, saving the words and filing them away to be sent to be fitted for the column first thing tomorrow.

…

Keith tries his best to busy himself with surfing the channels for a while, but since it’s Sunday, there’s not much that holds his attention for very long. He considers pulling up Netflix but he knows that will just end with more surfing and not landing on anything to watch.

With a sigh, he leaves the TV on to some cheesy romantic comedy, lowering the volume to give himself some background noise as he takes his phone in hand. He hasn’t used his Instagram in ages, hasn’t been checking the updates, so he figures he might as well do that now. He pulls up the app, slowly scrolling through new pictures from his friends, the only people he really follows, liking all of them for solidarity and smiling at some of the antics he didn’t get to be present for himself. This is what he got this damn app for in the first place; to try and keep up with everyone’s lives when they couldn’t physically meet and catch up.

He’s looking at a picture of Pidge in the midst of one of her many projects that something catches his eye.

 ** _shiro.takashi_** _has liked this_.

That has to be Shiro’s account. It can’t be anyone else. And Keith can’t stop staring at it, the name seeming to mock him on the screen, his heartbeat growing louder in his ears. He has to admit that he’s more than a little curious about what that little screen name might hold behind it. What kinds of glimpses it would give him into Shiro’s life.

But he shouldn’t. Should he? It wouldn’t be _too_ weird for him to check it out, right? He and Shiro are supposed to be friends, right? Friends follow each other on social media. And most people follow friends of friends, or even people they don’t actually know. It’s only Keith who wants to stick to people who he actually knows in real life. He only follows less than ten accounts, so one more couldn’t hurt, right? At least then he’d have something to do longer on boring Sunday afternoons.

Keith takes a deep breath. “I’m not a stalker,” he tells himself. “This is not invasive. We’re…friends, and I’m being stupid about this.”

He takes another deep breath, bites his lip and just taps the username with his finger.

The profile picture that pops up immediately confirms the fact that this is indeed Shiro’s profile, but in a way that he definitely wasn’t expecting. He can’t help the way his mouth falls open, his heart jumps and his cheeks heat up as he looks at it. His mouth feels dry, and somewhat embarrassingly, somewhere lower feels a little wet as he stares at what appears to be a gym selfie. Shiro looking all sweaty and delicious in a tank top that scoops _way_ too low over his pecs and shorts that leave far too little to the imagination. He’s grinning somewhat sheepishly at the camera, and he has a single dimple on his right cheek from smiling like that. It’s unbelievably and unfairly attractive.

As his heart stops beating a mile a minute, Keith also realizes something else. The selfie must be old, because Shiro’s hair is completely black in it, his face is missing the scar, and…yep, he has two flesh arms. The silver prosthetic is not taking the place of the right one. He wonders if this is the image Shiro would most like to project to the world.

He looks further into the profile. It only has one line: _If you get too worried about what could go wrong, you might miss a chance to do something great._ Keith can almost hear it spoken in Shiro’s voice and it makes him smile a little. The rest of Shiro’s profile is private though, so Keith can’t see beyond that. Normally Keith would commend Shiro on knowing not to have a public Instagram, but this time it’s just frustrating and inconvenient. If he wants to see more of Shiro’s pictures, Keith will have to follow him, and that means letting Shiro know he’s been snooping at his profile.

Keith lets out a long, huffed breath, turning his phone off without even looking at it and leaning his head down on the back of the couch with a thud. His heart is still beating a mile a minute, his head swimming and dizzy with emotion. He pulls up a hand to rub at his temples.

He can’t believe he’s getting this worked up over someone. When was the last time he was this worried about how someone might feel about something he does or doesn’t do? He was nervous about being accepted to clinics for his nursing internships, into nursing school in general, but that’s different. It concerned his job, his future, not his personal life. When it comes to other people in general…

Keith swallows. He supposes the last person whose opinion he was even close to being this concerned about was James.

His cheeks burn at the very thought, and he lowers his hand to cover his eyes with shame. Aside from not wanting to examine what that might mean in regards to his feelings for Shiro, it’s always just humiliating having to think about James and what happened between them. How easily Keith, who had spent so long convincing himself that he didn’t need anyone, had been swept away by him, by words and actions he now realizes probably were just a game to James. The way he’d called Keith “his little piece of rough,” and Keith had taken it as a sign that James considered him _his._ The way he’d called his violet eyes “exotic” when most people had preferred “alien” or even “demonic”. The way James had provided him with a place to sleep, food, drugs, alcohol and the closest thing Keith at that point had come to affection, by talking to him sometimes like he was a person and sex that at least included kisses and wasn’t painful, even if it was barely passable.

Keith lets out a long groan. It’s hard to understand how easily he was manipulated and used, how easy it had been to make him believe he and James had something. And how easy it had been for James to leave him alone in the cold, as soon as things had taken a turn for the more serious.

Because he was almost constantly under some sort of influence when they were together, most of the memories Keith has of James and him together are blurry. But the time James shouted at him to get out, that he wasn’t going to let Keith ruin his life and future the way he’d already ruined his own; that Keith had never meant anything to him…that moment is burned into his mind. Perhaps because he was sober by then, but still.

It’s not that Keith thinks Shiro would treat him the way James did. He doesn’t want to believe that of a friend of his friends. But Keith also doesn’t trust himself to read someone and figure out what they want from him. He’s not sure he can even trust himself to know what he wants, or that he could express it well. He told Shiro he wanted to be _friends_ …

He bites the inside of his mouth as without even meaning to, his thoughts circle back to Shiro. His big, beautiful hands, his soft mouth, his huge biceps, his sharp jaw, and _Stars_ that picture on his Insta… If he was that jacked what must be years ago, how must he look now under that sweater he wore last night?

Keith swallows around his suddenly dry throat, startled to realize his breathing has quickened alongside his heartbeat, that he can feel pulsing in his cunt, growing wet in his underwear.

“Well,” he breathes out, feeling his cheeks tingle with blood. “That doesn’t happen too often.”

But Keith knows, he just _knows_ Shiro would show him a good time in bed. He looks like he’d be really attentive and caring, nothing like the guys Keith’s been with in the past. Or at least that’s what Keith thinks, what he wants to believe. He’d treat Keith right, make sure he got to his own completion and not just his own. He’d kiss him and caress him and touch him…

Keith swallows hard again, his pussy throbbing in his underwear. He can feel the fabric getting wet.

“Oh, what the hell,” he groans to himself, before grabbing his phone.

He opens up Shiro’s Instagram again and enlarges the profile pic. He really does look good in it, but even as Keith feels his heart thump, he can’t help but be a little bothered how the man in this picture is not really the Shiro he met last night. There’s something boyish and innocent to his smile, and he looks so young and unburdened by the world. Keith finds himself staring at his smile more than anything, at the shine in Shiro’s dark eyes, at the joyous crinkles in the corners of his eyes. Even more than Shiro’s gorgeous body, even more than his clear confidence on his face, he just seems so…happy.

Keith may not be in a position to ask about what caused Shiro to lose that shine, but he hopes he’ll get a chance to see some of it come out at some point. He wants to see Shiro smile that bright at least once.

He breathes hard, thinking of Shiro now, older and broader, smiling at him the way his younger self does in that picture. Perhaps with an added mature lilt to it now, but still truly happy. Like for a minute, he could forget about the world and what it’s done to him.

As Keith imagines _himself_ being the one who Shiro would smile at, who had made him smile like that…he shoves his free hand into his underwear.

…

Shiro answers a few more letters for next week’s columns before his stomach lets him know it requires nourishment. Since Shiro had a hearty breakfast, he decides to just make himself a sandwich for lunch as he takes a break. It’s one of the few things he can manage to make for himself at home. He takes his plate to the living room, turning on the TV to some cheesy romantic comedy for some background noise and for something to do as he eats.

The main couple in the movie is having dinner. Shiro feels almost mocked by it, swallowing hard around his sandwich that suddenly tastes a lot dryer in his mouth. Although he tries not to, he can’t help but wonder what Keith might be doing at this moment. Maybe his daughter has come home already and they’re doing something together. Maybe he’s still doing the chores he mentioned. Maybe he didn’t have any and he just wanted to cut the night short. Shiro hopes that’s not the case, but he wouldn’t blame Keith if it was. The last thing Shiro wants is to become is someone who can’t take a hint.

Still though – and perhaps it’s just because of boredom mixed with loneliness, but…Shiro wishes he could text Keith and ask. Maybe see if he wanted to hang out for a bit. But he knows that would be coming on way too strong, when they just saw each other. Keith hinted very clearly he wanted to be in peace today, and if Shiro wants to be his friend, he needs to respect that.

To try and distract himself, once he finishes his sandwich, Shiro grabs his phone and browses his social media apps. He answers a few tweets, most of them ones he’s been tagged in, giving simple, small pieces of advice to people asking for it on his public Twitter. On his private Twitter, he likes and reblogs some posts from the podcasts and TV shows he follows. He reads a few articles on the newest plane models. Sees that a touring exhibit on space planes and ships will be coming to Marlton Museum soon to stay for a few weeks. There’s even going to be a small planetarium room with simulations of real galaxies. He should take the time to go there while it’s around. He puts it in his calendar to remind himself.

He wonders if Keith likes space. If he’d like to go…

Shiro shakes his head. He needs to stop thinking about him.

He lets out a breath. He might as well get back to work since nothing else seems to be working. He picks up his laptop and pulls up another letter.

…

Keith’s got two fingers in his pussy and his other hand working his clit. He can’t believe how wet he is, how much his cunt throbs and his clit trembles beneath his touch. He’s breathing hard in shuddering, high-pitched gasps, occasionally biting his lip just to keep his sounds in. He knows it’s been a long time since he’s done anything like this, but _Stars_.

Now that he’s doing it, he’s impatient. And honestly, a little paranoid James will bring Callie in early and he won’t get to finish what he started. It almost makes him feel enough on the edge that the whole experience would be frustrating, but despite the time that has passed, Keith knows his body well. No one else may have ever felt like finding out how he likes to be fucked, but that doesn’t mean Keith himself doesn’t know. He finds his g-spot fairly easily, jabbing it gently but with determination, alternating between being gentle with his clit and pinching it.

Images of Shiro dance over his eyes as Keith cums with a strangled whine, biting his lip hard to keep the sound in. A single tear slips out, the long-denied orgasm almost painful with the way it washes over him.

He leans back on the couch, trying to catch his breath. His hands are wet and his pants and underwear soiled. He feels overheated in more ways than one, flushing with embarrassment. He can’t believe he just masturbated on the couch in the middle of the living room where he and his daughter sit and watch cartoons like some teenager.

He feels disgusted with the couch all of a sudden, jumping off it and heading to the bathroom. He strips off his bottoms, putting them in the hamper, and wets some toilet paper to clean his thighs of drying slick. He knows masturbation is a natural act and there’s nothing to be ashamed of, but somehow he still feels like he’s done something wrong. He’s not sure if it’s because it wasn’t planned and he did it on the couch rather than in his room or something, or because what caused it was…

Keith shakes his head. He can’t think about it right now.

He grabs himself a clean pair of underwear and some jeans. As he pulls up the pants, he figures he might as well change his whole outfit. Give James something less to look down on him for. He may judge Keith’s clothing style in general, thinking it juvenile, low-class and punkish, but at least he can look tidier than just wearing the clothes he puts on to be comfortable in his apartment. Keith may not care what James thinks, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to not give him more ammo to insult him every chance he gets.

He puts on a black t-shirt and a red-and-black striped flannel hoodie over it, stopping to toss his old shirt in the hamper too, before heading back to the living room. Seeing the couch makes him blush and he can’t seem to make himself look at it straight. He wants to tear it apart and strip it whole, to wash all the cushion cases until they’re clean of what he just did, but he knows they won’t wash in time before Callie comes home and then he’d have to answer her questions why he’s washing them in the first place. Or worse, James’s.

It’s not like the cushions got dirty, most of the damage stayed inside Keith’s pants, but he still decides to at least flip the cushions over just in case. Hopefully he can find a time slot to wash the cases properly later.

Once he’s done, he checks the clock, and realizes that Callie will be coming home any minute now. It’s both a relief and a scare. He’ll be glad to have her home and keep him company, but he also wishes he had a little more time to settle his storming thoughts before he has to put his best foot forward for her again and act like everything is okay.

To try and clear his head and be productive, he takes one last loop around the apartment to make sure everything looks good and right, with each thing in place, as well as clean but welcoming and warm. He wants Callie to feel good about coming home to their relatively small apartment after spending a weekend at James’s more lavish and extravagant house. At the same time, he also wants to make sure there’s nothing left for James to critically eye and comment on. As if he has any right, when Keith knows for a fact that he doesn’t even do his own laundry, let alone clean his house. That mansion of his that is far too big for just one person, bought with his stupid old family money and his stupid corporate lawyer job.

Satisfied with the way things are, Keith settles down at the kitchen table for a while longer, scrolling through social media one last time to pass the time as he waits for the doorbell to ring. There’s nothing much on there though, not when compared to earlier in the day, and soon enough, Keith finds himself staring at Shiro’s username on Pidge’s post again. Despite the flush growing to his cheeks as he remembers what he used Shiro’s picture for, like a perp returning to the crime scene, Keith finds himself tapping on that username again. He avoids looking at Shiro’s profile pic by staring at that pesky “Follow” button. His thumb even hovers over it occasionally, but he still can’t quite bring himself to press it.

Keith is so deep in thought, staring at that little button that he jumps in surprise when he finally hears the doorbell ring. He quickly scrambles up to his feet from the chair at the table and hurries on his unsteady feet over to the door, leaving the phone lying on the table.

Heart hammering in his chest, Keith opens the door and comes face-to-face with James’s annoying, sharp face. Keith ignores him in favor of his daughter, kneeling down just in time for her to jump into his arms with a bright cry of, “Daddy!”

“Welcome home, Starling,” Keith murmurs into Callie’s dark hair, pressing a kiss to her head.

His heart aches with how much he realizes he’s missed her, even if she was only gone for a few days, and he holds her a little tighter for it. As difficult and tiring being a parent is sometimes, it’s moments like these that Keith remembers fully why he decided to have his baby when he found out he was pregnant. She’s his family, the one thing he’s always longed for, and he wouldn’t trade her for anything. Anything a life without her has to offer holds no candle to the joy Keith gets from being a father.

He gives her one last squeeze before letting go, patting her head. “How was your weekend?”

“Papa took me to the zoo!” Callie says with a big smile that makes Keith’s heart feel warm. “I saw hippos and I took lots of pictures of them for you!”

Keith smiles, looking into her eyes and stroking her hair, which has been left down, falling past her shoulders for once. It doesn’t surprise him. James doesn’t bother with Callie’s hair much, usually just putting it on a ponytail if anything. “That’s very sweet of you, Callie.”

“Are you going to invite us in?” James inquiers, far too soon for Keith’s liking. He had hoped he could get through this with James just dropping Callie off and then going on his way, but looks like he’s shit out of luck.

“Daddy, me and Papa were talking, and I wanted him to stay for dinner,” Callie says, taking a hold of Keith’s hand and looking at him with her big violet eyes. “He said we should ask you though. So can he stay, Daddy, please, please, _please_?”

“Yeah, Keith,” James says, and Keith can _hear_ the smugness in his voice. “You wouldn’t want to disappoint Callie now, would you?”

Keith bites the inside of his mouth so hard it hurts, trying to swallow the urge to tell James to go to hell. He reminds himself that when James had reached out three years ago, finally wanting to be a part of his daughter’s life, Keith had promised himself he wasn’t going to make the situation more difficult than it had to be. Despite the past between him and James and his temper. He may not have trusted James as far as he could throw him, and he still doesn’t, but he’s Callie’s other father, and he needs to think about her, not himself. He can’t let the fact that just being near James like this makes him feel so small, no matter how much he fights the feeling. How every look from him makes him feel vulnerable and bare. James has seen him at his most messed up and his most desperate, and used that to his advantage. He never lets Keith forget who he’d been, and for that Keith is always on edge and always slightly nauseous around him.

But as much as James knows about Keith, he also knows him in return. Unfortunately, though, Keith’s never been that good a manipulator. He can’t use people’s weaknesses against them, not the way James does. He can only tell what they’re capable of and at best how he might escape with as much of himself intact as he can. And right now, Keith knows that if he doesn’t let James stay, it will come back to bite him sooner or later. James will find a way to use it against him, likely with Callie.

So Keith swallows down the bile, and forces out, “Sure, he can stay if he really wants to.”

Looking up at him, Keith sees James give him that same smile he got when Keith first gave in and let him fuck him bare. The smile that means he’s gotten exactly what he wants and it makes Keith’s skin crawl.

“I would love nothing more,” James says, still smiling.

“Yay!” Callie cheers, giving Keith another hug. Keith tries to draw what little comfort he can from it.

He gives her another squeeze, both for her comfort and his own, before letting go and rising to his feet. Keith gives Callie a gentle pat on the back. “Go put your things in your room and your laundry in the hamper. I’ll start warming up dinner in just a bit.”

“Okay, Daddy,” Callie says, brushing past him into the apartment and towards her room as told.

As soon as she’s out of earshot, Keith turns back to look at James, feeling his eyes burning into the back of his head. Fire of fury flares up in the pit of his stomach at the smug, leery smirk he’s sporting.

“You know,” James draws out. “I could stay the night too, if you just asked.”

Keith only barely manages to hold back a growl. “That won’t be necessary.”

“Oh, come on now, Keith,” James says, lowering his voice and stepping into his space. As Keith takes a step back, James slams a hand between him and the doorframe, trapping Keith between his body and the corridor wall. Keith feels himself breaking out in a cold sweat, his hands shaking. He can’t believe how shameless James is, with Callie just a few feet away. More than that, he hates himself for still being so weak around him, for not being able to fight back. He knows he’s stronger than James. He could easily punch him, push him off, overthrow him. But he feels frozen in place, unable to move at all.

As always.

James uses the index finger of his free hand to lift Keith’s chin up, forcing him to look him in the eyes.

“You’ve got that look on you,” he practically purrs, keeping his voice low, their noses nearly touching. “That one you used to get back in the day, just before you’d beg for my dick.”

Keith blushes with humiliation. Can James tell what he did not long before he and Callie arrived? “Let me go. How dare you say this when Callie is…”

“She can’t hear us,” James says, as if he knows, mockingly reassuring. “The soundproofing at your apartment may be atrocious, but I got her a new set of headphones over the weekend. I’m sure she’s put them on, what with how excited she’s been to try them.”

Keith shoves James’s finger off his chin, and glares at him in anger. “I told you not to spoil her so much. Christmas is next month,” he hisses. “Have you ever spent any time with her that was just you doing regular things? You took her out again rather than just spending time with her, and you give her all these presents. You’re messing with her perceptions of life.”

“It could be her life,” James says, leaning in even closer. Keith presses his back as tight against the wall as he possibly can, since it seems to be the only way he can make his body move. “If you guys would just move in with me, I could give you everything you could possibly want.”

“We’re managing just fine,” Keith growls out. “Just put money into her college account, that’s all we need from you.”

“Oh, come on now, Keith,” James says, voice growing higher in a mimicry of pity. “Don’t you want more than this sad little place? More than the long hours at your job?”

“I love my job,” Keith says.

James huffs in clear disbelief. “When are you going to stop pretending that this is all you want out of life, when you know I know better?”

Keith doesn’t dignify that with a response. They’ve had this talk so many times he’s tired of it.

James licks his lips. “When was the last time you got laid?”

Keith nearly chokes on his own tongue, feeling himself flush dark red. “You can’t just ask me that!”

“So it’s been a while,” James says, grinning smugly. “I told you, I can see that look in your eyes. You want some, don’t you? Not that I can say I’m surprised, given how needy you are. Just say the word and-”

“Daddy?” Callie’s words ring through the apartment. “What are you doing? I’m hungry!”

“Just a second, sweetheart! Your Papa and I were just talking,” Keith calls back, the feeling starting to return to his body. He uses the distraction to his advantage and slips underneath James’s arm and into the doorway.

As he turns around, before he can so much as open his mouth, James says, “Before you say anything, let me remind you that you already said I could stay for dinner. If you made me leave now, Callie would be so very disappointed. She was looking forward to it _so_ much, especially after I got her those headphones…”

Keith swallows hard and his legs still feel shaky under him. To spend a whole dinner with James, making pleasantries and acting like he wasn’t just harassed feels unbearably heavy. It makes him want to both vomit and weep.

But as much as he hates it, James knows just what buttons to push. He always has. And that cuts more than anything else, because Keith still can’t figure out a way out that doesn’t leave him as the loser.

He can’t bring himself to look at James as he murmurs, “You can stay because I promised Callie. But do what you just did again, and I’ll break your arm.”

“Such violent talk from a nurse,” James says, not even looking phased. He knows he’s won yet again, and Keith’s stomach boils with hatred and humiliation. “You should just admit you want me to fuck you again. We’d all be better off. You used to open up so sweetly to me, begging me for more and coming back to me like a desperate bitch.”

Keith clenches his teeth together, tears burning in his eyes. He refuses to let them fall. He’s not going to cry because of this awful man ever again.

“You could be the last person on Earth,” he murmurs, his voice low. “And I’d still never fuck you.”

He takes a few deep breaths to compose himself, trying to create a smile on his face, as he steps inside the apartment to look for Callie. “Starling, can you come keep me company while I warm up diner? I wanna hear more about your weekend.”

“Yeah,” Callie calls back from the direction of her room to Keith’s great relief. He figures if she’s around, he’ll be at least a little safer with James.

Callie soon steps out of her room, white brand-new headphones wrapped around her neck. “Look, Papa got me these! They’re noise-cancelling headphones!”

Keith forces his mouth to work up a smile. “That was nice of Papa,” he says, beckoning Callie closer with his hand. “Come on, you can set the table for me, and after dinner we can look at those pictures of hippos you took for me.”

…

Shiro works for a few more hours, the romantic comedy left on to keep him distracted and occasionally mildly entertained, until it’s time for him to have dinner. He orders in because he doesn’t feel like going out again and he’s getting a little sick of pre-made meals. He’s dialing the number to his favorite Chinese place, mulling over his choices, regular order on his tongue when he pauses.

He’s been doing new things all day. He _wants_ to do new things again. He should take this opportunity to do something different.

Shiro puts down his phone and pulls up the Internet and the website of the Chinese restaurant. He clicks to the menu page and begins browsing through the options, making sure to ignore his usual order. He quickly finds things that sound delicious, making him question why he hasn’t tried them out before. Smiling, he calls the restaurant and makes his new order.

There’s an action movie starting on TV, and Shiro watches it, only half paying attention as he waits for the food to arrive. Surprisingly, he finds himself engaged enough that by the time the food arrives, he decides to eat his dinner on the couch, slurping up noodles.

Just as he’s finishing up his dinner, Shiro hears his phone ping next to him on the coffee table. He swallows up the rest of his meal, sets the empty boxes down on the table, wipes his hands and grabs his phone to see what the notification might be. What he sees on the screen makes his heart jump into his throat.

 ** _k.kogane_** _has requested to follow you_.

There’s no mistaking who is behind that username, and Shiro’s heart throbs as he stares down at it. All day he’s been waiting for some kind of sign from Keith; anything that would show Shiro he wasn’t completely imagining the connection between them last night. And this…as small a gesture as it is, Shiro almost wants to cry with how much it means to him.

He presses his thumb to the notification even as his hands shake, and the action takes him to what can only be Keith’s Instagram profile. It’s set on private, just like Shiro’s own profile, so for now he can’t see beyond the profile picture and the description, just like Keith can’t, since they’re not following each other yet.

Keith’s profile picture is an image of a gorgeous desert sunrise, the sky clear and almost pure white from the bright sun above the landscape. The sand below is a mix of its natural rusty red and the orange, painted so by daybreak. It makes Shiro wonder, despite himself, if it’s too presumptuous of him to feel a sort of kinship towards Keith even over a small thing like a profile pic on a social media site. Shiro hasn’t changed his picture in years, keeping it as the selfie he put in when he was young, carefree and unbroken. He knows himself well enough to admit that that’s another one of his coping mechanisms; a way for him to hide the ugliness he feels in his current body. Meanwhile, Keith isn’t using an image of himself at all, instead choosing a nearly generic landscape that may or may not mean anything to him aside from him liking the way it looked. There’s something similar in their masks.

Shiro turns his eyes on the description on the profile: _Single dad of a little girl. Trans, he/him. Half-Galra orphan. Don’t follow if you don’t know me irl._

Reading it makes him smile. It’s just as straightforward and no-nonsense as Shiro has found Keith himself to be in their short acquaintanceship. It feels fitting, and Shiro is suddenly brimming with curiosity over what else Keith’s profile might hold behind its hidden settings. What it might reveal of the beautiful man Shiro had dinner with last night.

It’s not creepy of him to ask to follow Keith too if he did it first, right?

Shiro takes in a settling breath, and presses the right button to grant Keith access to follow Shiro’s own account, before pressing the “Follow” button on Keith’s profile to ask to be granted the same privilege.

…

Keith feels nauseous throughout dinner and can barely make himself eat. Just looking at James’s smug face on the other side of the table, keeping his legs tightly held against his chair just so they don’t brush his, makes him feel like he might throw up any moment.

His only salvation is his daughter, and being able to focus on her across the table. Callie talks eagerly about her weekend and Keith drinks it all in like water in a desert, letting it drown out everything else. Even James cutting in occasionally and adding his own comments about their time together can’t quite ruin the eagerness in Callie’s tone and expression.

Still, when they’ve finished with eating, Keith breathes out a discreet sigh of relief, hoping this means he won’t have to stand James’s presence for much longer.

“Well,” James says, setting down his fork. “That was a good meal. I’m shocked, Keith. You never used to cook like this.”

“A lot can change in six years,” Keith says, standing up and gathering the dishes to be washed, trying to keep calm.

“I wouldn’t know,” James says, grabbing onto Keith’s wrist as he reaches for James’s plate. Keith jolts, his breath catching. “We’ve barely spoken since then.”

Keith bites his lips. He wants to scream at James to let go of him. To tell him there’s a reason they haven’t spoken and that Keith would much prefer to keep it that way…but Callie is watching with her big purple eyes, and Keith feels frozen again.

“Shouldn’t you get going?” Keith says as sharply as he can manage with how he’s starting to tremble; with fear or rage or both, he’s not quite sure. “It’s getting late.”

“Oh come on, now,” James says. “It’s not that late.”

“Yeah, Daddy,” Callie cuts in, and that wounds Keith more than anything. He knows he can’t use her as a shield; she’s a child. She doesn’t know what he’s doing through because he’s made it that way. But it still hurts. “Can’t Papa stay a little longer?”

Keith uses distraction and pulls his hand out of James’s hold. “Have you finished your homework for the week?” Callie bites her lip, lowering her eyes, and that’s all the answer Keith needs. “Then I’m afraid not. We need to do your homework before you go to sleep, and Papa being here will only distract you.”

Callie looks up at him, her eyes blazing with fire and angry tears, her lip a pout and her brows in frown. “Daddy, you’re so unfair!”

“I am still your father,” Keith says, a little firmer. “Go to your room now and get started. I’ll see Papa off and then join you.”

Callie looks in James’s direction with big, pleading eyes. “Papa?”

“I’ll call you tomorrow, Princess,” he says, glancing over at Keith. “I know when I’m not wanted.”

 _I’m really not sure that’s true,_ Keith bites back. He’s just grateful that he’s leaving now.

Callie gets out from her chair, stepping over to James to give him a hug. “I love you, Papa.”

“I love you too, Princess,” James says, kissing her head. “I’ll see you soon, okay? It’ll be okay.”

Keith busies himself with the gathering the rest of the dishes and putting them by the sink as they say their goodbyes. It hurts to hear Callie walking with decidedly stomping steps as a form of protest to her room. The door slammed shut behind her only adds to the fact, and Keith barely avoids a wince.

“You made her pretty upset,” James says from somewhere behind him. “That could’ve been avoided if you just let me stay, maybe for the night even.”

“Callie can’t always get what she wants,” Keith says, refusing to look at James. “She needs to learn that, especially since you keep trying to convince her otherwise. You need to start making sure she does her homework when she’s with you. You can’t expect me to always pick up your slack.”

“It would be a lot easier for her to know what’s right if we could show her a united front. But you refuse to talk to me. And right now, you’re even refusing to look at me.”

Keith swallows hard. “You only have yourself to blame for that,” he hisses. “You can show yourself out.”

It’s quiet for a moment. Keith can only hear his own heavy breathing.

“Fine,” James says, eventually. “I’ll go, for now. But just so you know, I’m not giving up.”

Keith says nothing, doesn’t even move a muscle. He listens as James walks out the door of the apartment, slamming it shut behind him. Only then does he breathe again, taking a few moments to compose himself, so he doesn’t break and cry out of sheer relief. He holds onto the counter so his knees down give out under him.

He’s not sure how much time passes until his breathing becomes even again. But once it does, he goes to Callie’s room. He just hopes they can get through her homework for tonight somehow.


	4. Chapter 4

On Monday morning, Shiro wakes up bright and early as usual. As he rouses, he briefly thinks about going for his regular morning jog, but something stops him. He’d felt good deviating from his rigid routine yesterday, hadn’t he? So why not keep up with that for a while longer and not go running this morning? Perhaps he can go later after work, perhaps he’ll skip it entirely since he ran the previous day. He doesn’t have to decide now. He smiles with a happy hum as he turns on his side, burrowing his head deeper into his pillow. There’s something liberating about having a calm, unrushed morning.

Shiro rests his eyes for a few moments longer, checks his social media and the morning headlines on his phone for a while in bed. He feels a pang of disappointment to see that Keith hasn’t responded to his request to follow him, and a part of Shiro once again feels the desperate urge to text him and ask about it. But that would seem far too impatient and invasive of him, like he can’t even wait a night for a simple Instagram follow. It’s probably just better to wait. At least if Keith allows him to follow him, there will be something they can actually talk about.

Shiro sighs. He may not want to come on too strong with Keith, but he also can’t help but feel like he’s become more than a little pathetic. He used to have _game_ , dammit. Shiro may have always strived to be what his Grandpa Ryou had wanted him to be and had raised him to be; kind and confident but humble and determined. He had never bragged over his grades or his athletic performance in school or later, he had always sought to help and support his peers and try to give them the push they may need to succeed as well. He had learned early not to look down on anyone because you could never know what they were going through. He knew personally that a beautiful, happy shell could hide a lot.

But Shiro also has never been stupid. He knows he is handsome, smart, capable and has always been popular. He’d always known the kind of effect he had on people, even if he never sought out the attention. He’d gotten his share of love confessions and given a few of his own, most of which were affirmed positively.

And now he can’t even bring himself to send off a single text message.

He used to thrive on challenge and uncertainty like this, the nervousness mixed with excitement that came with being in love. That came with being _alive_. Shiro had always worked hard, but he’d also made sure to have fun, to spend time with the people who mattered to him and do things he enjoyed doing.

His part-time job as a test pilot had been an extension of all that. From the moment he first stepped into his first space vessel, Shiro’s heart, mind and soul had been completely captivated. He’d loved the rush of being in the air and knowing that he might be making a difference in the field of space and air travel. The work had fed into his old childhood dream of being an astronaut, like the heroic space explorers of old that he’d read about in Grandpa’s old books. Explorers like those on the Calypso mission; the first people of Earth who had come in contact with intelligent alien life roughly a hundred years ago.

Shiro knew that the days of such discoveries and heroes were over; with the first contact made, humans had been able to expand both their knowledge and their technology in terms of space and travel. Space travel was now considered relatively easy and cheap even on Earth, with many people taking vacations on some distant or no-so-distant planets. Most of the mysteries of the universe were already discovered, if not by humans then by somebody else who could give them access to the information that they’d found. The intergalactic community was so much more vast and connected than any of the humans back then could have anticipated. Humans still liked to do their own excavation trips, of course, but piloting was no longer the thing that people most remembered about those missions.

Shiro had considered the path of a space scientists like Matt, it was true. But the more he thought about it, the more he felt like the time for what he’d really wanted to be had passed long before his birth. He no longer felt like he could discover something that would matter, not just to him but people in general. Instead, as a lifelong observer of human behavior – his neighbors, school friends, teachers, everyone – led him to study the intricacies of the human brain, behavior, relationships and lives. And Shiro would also get to help people while making his discoveries. So he had turned to psychology instead.

Still, when his books became too dull and his dorm room too stuffy, Shiro had reveled in being able to escape to the skies and fly the space crafts that would soon make journeys far greater than just beyond the atmosphere that Shiro took them on. And when he and Adam had been fighting, flying had often been the only way Shiro felt like he could escape from it all.

Shiro shakes his head. Thinking about Adam and flying together never goes anywhere good for him, and it’s best not to start now.

He checks the time on his phone, and determines it’s best for him to get up if he wants to get to the office on time. He needs a distraction anyway, so he goes off to wash his face while toasting a bagel and making his cup of coffee. He feels fairly nauseous though, thoughts he’d rather avoid still lingering in his peripheral vision like dark shadows. He taps his foot, willing the bagel to pop out so he can distract himself by choking on it.

Shiro takes in a breath, trying to calm himself. He just…he needs to do _something_ before he starts spiraling. Even if it’s something else to make him nervous or anxious, anything would be better than thinking back to that time. Besides, isn’t he supposed to be trying out new things? Attempt to be a little bolder, a little braver?

Surely one text message can’t hurt. And if it does, at least he can worry about that instead of the past.

Before he can talk himself out of it, Shiro pulls out his phone and with shaking hands he looks up Keith’s name in his contacts. He presses on the symbol next to the name, opening up a message window and starting to type with unsteady fingers.

**_Shiro:_ ** _Did you get everything you needed done yesterday? :)._

He presses the send button before he can give himself a chance to second-guess himself. Although the more he looks at it, the more he wishes he could’ve come up with something better to say…a strange sense of calmness also washes over him. At least now he’s taken the first step; done what he’s been wanting do since he and Keith said their goodbyes on Saturday night. Now the ball is in Keith’s court. And no matter what happens, at least Shiro has done what he can.

…

Keith’s morning isn’t starting much better than his night ended. Callie had been pouty through her homework and because of her stubbornness, they only barely got it done. Keith’s just glad she’s still in grade school and doesn’t have that much of it. But she kept asking where James was and why he couldn’t stay in an accusatory tone, looking at Keith with hurt eyes, and Keith had almost lost his temper with her. They’d both gone to bed upset and Keith has barely slept, now drinking his second cup of coffee because of it. So much for trying to cut back on the stuff.

Callie is still in a bad mood too. She refuses to even look at him as she eats her cereal. Normally Keith would cook her breakfast, but today she had acted like she hadn’t even heard the offer, immediately going for the box they keep for rushed mornings when there is no time for a better breakfast. Keith’s throat constricts as he looks at her furrowed brows and tense shoulders. He wishes he could do or say something to make this alright, but he has no means to explain to her why he doesn’t want James in his home. All he can do is wait for this to blow over, for Callie to calm down on her own.

As Keith finishes his cup, he hears his phone ping and shake against the surface of the kitchen table, still in the same spot he left it last night. With everything that happened and how late it got by the time he and Callie had finished her homework, he hadn’t had the thought or the energy to go fetch it, since he has a separate alarm clock. It’s one of the longest times he’s been without his phone for a while, though he can’t say what he thinks of the experience given how bad the time spent without it was.

He walks over to the table past Callie, trying not to look at his daughter’s back that feels so cold to him today, and grabs his phone. He unlocks it quickly, and immediately blinks at the multitude of notifications waiting for him.

**_takashi.shiro_ ** _has accepted your request to follow._

**_takashi.shiro_ ** _has requested to follow you._

**_Shiro:_ ** _Did you get everything…_

Despite himself, Keith’s mouth falls open in shock. The first notification is especially shocking. Sure, he may have been browsing through Shiro’s Instagram, but he definitely hadn’t requested to follow him. He may have been thinking about it, pondering over it, but Callie had arrived with James before…

Keith lets out a silent groan. When the ringing doorbell had startled him, he must’ve accidentally pressed the follow button with the finger that had been twitching and hovering over it. His stomach clenches and his cheeks flush in embarrassment. He can’t believe this happened. What must Shiro have thought?

He swallows hard, taking a few calming breaths. He needs to be rational about this. He can’t let his feelings get the best of him. Rationally thinking, it’s not such a big deal. Shiro doesn’t…Shiro can’t know what Keith did earlier with his profile pic. And he’s even asked to follow Keith back, too, so he can’t mind Keith wanting to follow him too much. He’s even texted Keith afterwards, so it can’t be all that bad.

Not wanting Callie to get suspicious about what he’s doing, Keith walks over across the apartment towards his room on the guise of getting dressed and ready for the day, making sure to breathe evenly as he does to calm himself. This is fine. This is fine. Friends follow each other on social media and text each other. There’s no reason for Keith to be nervous. He can be casual and friendly about this. Casual and friendly.

He makes sure not to look anywhere near the direction of the couch, standing off to his side like a constant reminder of what he did on is less than twenty-four hours ago. It was just one slip-up. Keith can be friends with Shiro. Just friends. Just friends. He can’t drag Shiro into his mess.

As he makes his way into his room, he shuts the door behind himself, before taking a deep, steadying breath and presses on the second notification on his phone screen, quickly accepting Shiro’s request to follow his Insta. After that, he opens up his text message. Reading it makes Keith smile a little, feeling touched Shiro would be considerate enough to ask something like that, and the tightness that has been in his stomach since last night loosens a little. Shiro just seems to have that sort of effect on him.

Keith probably shouldn’t reflect too much on that. Or on the fact he’s pretty sure this is his first smile since he welcomed Callie home last night. To distract himself from that train of thought, he types out a reply.

**_Keith:_ ** _that and more to be honest. I was actually almost bored out of my mind waiting for Callie to come home so I pretty much ended up cleaning my entire apartment._

…

Just as Shiro is about to leave for work, having quickly eaten his meager breakfast, and gotten ready for the day after his text to Keith settled his nerves some, his phone pings with a notification, making his heart jump into his throat. Before he can fumble to take out his phone, it makes the sound again. And again, like ringing heartbeats. He tries not to get his hopes up, since the notifications could be from anyone technically, but he knows very well who he hopes they’re from. And he can’t help the way his hands shake with excitement from the mere possibility as he takes the phone out of his pocket, making his way into the elevator.

Shiro’s breath catches as he sees that all the notifications are indeed from Keith, his heart thumping a steady, hard rhythm in his chest. Keith has granted Shiro the access to his Instagram and has texted him back. As the elevator begins making its way down, Shiro checks the message. He can look through Keith’s Instagram when he makes it to the office and can take his time with it.

Keith’s text makes him raise an eyebrow, though. It also jabs him in the heart, just a little, since he thought Keith was meant to be very busy on Sunday. Did he really just say that to get away from Shiro quicker? But then why is he texting him now? Why did he allow Shiro to follow his Instagram account?

Shiro shakes his head. He can worry about that later. Or not worry. Perhaps Keith has changed his mind, or he wasn’t as busy as he thought he was going to be. He’s still made contact back, and that’s what matters now. Shiro should appreciate what he can get, what he has now in front of him rather than think about what-ifs.

**_Shiro:_ ** _Well, she’s home now, right? Back to the basics :)._

Keith’s reply comes by the time Shiro has made it downstairs. He checks it as he steps out of the elevator.

**_Keith:_ ** _yeah, back to me trying to goad her into putting on clothes so we can make it to school/work :/._

Shiro chuckles despite himself.

**_Shiro:_ ** _Good luck!_

…

Most days, Keith thanks the Stars he’s a father. He loves Callie more than he’s ever loved another human being. She’s made his life worth living, and it is mostly thanks to her that he even found the reason and motivation to lift himself out of the dark hole he had fallen into as soon as he’d gotten out of the system and Arizona both. Keith is self-aware enough to understand that it’s likely he wouldn’t be where he is now without his daughter. His only goals at eighteen had been to be as numb as possible from everything that had happened to him and kept happening around him. To feel at least a little bit wanted and be touched by others via sex, and to ride out the high train for as long as it took for him to finally die, most likely forgotten in a ditch somewhere.

But when he found out he was pregnant…when after so long, he had an actual blood connection to another living being that was growing inside of him and depended on him for everything…he’d known he needed to change the way he lived.

As difficult as it had been to get sober, as hard as James’s rejection had hit him, as lonely and cold and nauseating those first few months were…Keith had kept going for his child. He wanted better things for her, wanted her to have everything that he hadn’t had since his Dad died. He wanted her to go to school, be surrounded by friends and family, and never have to worry about food or clothes or toys. For her, and with a little help from his new friends that he doesn’t think he would ever have found without her, Keith had been able to rise from the ashes. He’d been able to put himself through school while working, get himself a job that he loves, and gain a family in his child and his friends.

Keith is constantly grateful to have his daughter. He’d give anything for her, and he works harder at being a good parent than he does probably on anything else. He loves Callie.

He just has to remind himself of that on days like these, when she really shows her inherited stubbornness and temper.

“No!” she cries before him, defiantly hunching her shoulders and leaning forward. She is still in her pajamas, but she looks distinctly like a mutinous soldier in war to Keith. “I’m not going to school!

Keith takes a calming breath for himself. At least she’s talking to him now rather than just giving him the cold shoulder. It’s how things usually progress with Callie when she’s mad; she first pouts and then starts yelling and defying him. They’re moving forward. He has to remember that, even if he wishes that she’d just go straight to forgiving him and getting ready for school.

“Well, too bad, because it’s Monday, and on Mondays you go to school,” Keith says, crossing his arms, standing before his daughter. “And don’t you want to see all your friends and tell them about your weekend?”

“ _No!_ ” Callie repeats, even more emphatically than before. “I don’t wanna go to school! I don’t wanna be here! I want Papa!”

Keith swallows hard to open up his constricting throat. “Well, if Papa were here right now, he’d agree with me. So like it or not, you’re going to school.”

He reaches for Callie’s hand, but she slaps him away.

“No! _No!_ ” Callie cries, angry tears starting to overtake her large eyes as her face flushes with emotion beneath them. “I don’t wanna! I hate it there and I hate it here! And I hate _you_!”

Keith’s breath catches in his throat. It’s like everything stops, grows numb and hazy around him. He can’t quite see Callie anymore, can’t hear her, can’t feel his own limbs or smell the remnants of coffee and book pages in the air. His heart beats in his chest, but he can barely sense it, can barely breathe, because suddenly all there is is _pain_. Keith wonders if this is what it feels like to be stabbed, because he’s sure it would hurt less than the way his heart seems to shrivel up and die, tears burning in his eyes.

This is not the first time he and Callie have fought, of course, but this is the first time she’s ever said something like that to him. And perhaps it was naïve of Keith, but he’d thought she’d be the one person he’d never have to hear those words from.

Slowly, things begin to pop back into existence around him. Callie comes back first, with her defiant little face and angry expression. And with a breath in, Keith realizes he still has to be a father right now. He can have a breakdown later, when they’re not running late like they are.

He swallows hard, trying his best to keep his voice steady as he says, “Well, whether you do or not, you’re still going to school, even if I have to carry you there. It’s your choice whether you want to go there in your pajamas or your regular clothes. You have five minutes to decide.”

Keith doesn’t stick around for her to make up her mind and possibly change her clothes, leaving her room with steps that would probably look more accurate on a robot with how mechanical and forced they feel. He closes the door behind himself, and immediately leans against it, his knees feeling weak. He’s breathing hard and his head is swimming, his vision still unfocused and eyes burning.

His chest still hurts.

Only having a little time to calm down, Keith takes out his phone to distract himself at least a bit, clicking on Shiro’s latest reply. It actually helps a little, the pain in his chest dissipating just a little. But he doesn’t have the time or the strength to answer now, so he quickly puts his phone away, just when the door to Callie’s room opens up behind him. Keith lets out a little sigh of relief, seeing her fully dressed now and with her backpack on. She’s still frowning up at him, glaring from below her brows, but she’s ready and right now, he needs to take what he can get.

“Let’s go,” Keith says, grabbing his own things and keys, taking Callie’s hand for safety’s sake, though she doesn’t hold his back today, before dashing out of their apartment and out into their day.

…

On Mondays, Shiro usually focuses on writing his column, responding to the letters he’s been given on Friday. Outside Shiro’s office, the wheels of course keep moving, the staff having different meetings about the magazine and what goes into it, but they’re not the ones that Shiro needs to be present for. Since he’s already ahead in his columns for the week, he sends them off when he arrives and spends the first few hours of his day scrolling through Keith’s Instagram for something to do. He probably could’ve even stayed home for the day, but the idea of that feels more like a punishment than a reward. 

Most of Keith’s pictures are of a little girl who can’t be anyone but his daughter Callie. She looks startlingly like Keith, aside from her darker skin tone. Through the pictures, Shiro gets to see a short-hand version of her young life backwards. From the newer pictures of her sixth birthday party in August, to her first day of school, to her kindergarten years and playground time, to her first steps and up until her newborn sleeping face in a plastic hospital crib. It’s the first picture on the account.

Aside from pictures of Callie, there are a few of nature, not unlike the sunset over the desert Keith has as his profile picture. There are a few of times spent with Hunk and Katie and their families too, and they’re present in all of the milestone celebrations. Keith himself is almost strangely absent in his own gallery, only flashing in as hands or legs here and there. Most of the pictures where Keith is fully in are from the past few years.

But there are a few that are from earlier, and Shiro almost feels like he’s peering into something very personal seeing them. Younger Keith’s hair is shorter, though it grows the more current the pictures become. He’s clearly been growing it out for a while. But he also looks different in other ways; skinnier, wearier, paler. It really showcases for Shiro how much he’s overcome in ways words can’t quite express, but he can’t bring himself to linger on them in good conscious. Even though they’re there for him to see now, he can’t help but feel like he’s snooping through something he shouldn’t be.

Shiro’s been at the office for a little over an hour when he hears someone knock on his glass door. He looks up, and smiles seeing that it’s Allura. He motions for her to come in.

“Hey,” she says, smiling back at him. “Is this a bad time?”

“Not at all,” Shiro says, getting out of his chair. “I’m actually ahead in my work. What’s up?”

“Nothing, really,” she says, taking a seat on one of the black leather loveseats Shiro has in his office, prim like the proper lady she is. “I just have a little bit of a break at the moment and I thought we could talk a bit. I feel as though lately all we talk about is work.”

Shiro’s heart floods with warm affection for his friend, and he takes a seat across from her on another similar loveseat. “I would love that,” he says. “How was your weekend? You and Lance went for a little trip, right?”

“Yes, to visit his family,” Allura says, her cheeks dusting with a soft flush, smiling softly as her blue eyes sparkle with warmth. Shiro smiles seeing it. He’s not the only one who has had bad luck with exes, so it feels good to see her so happy again. He just hopes it can last. “It was so wonderful. His family is so warm and kind, and we went to the beach every day while we were there. During the day we swam and at night we walked on the sand, hand-in-hand. And Saturday night, he took me out to dinner at his favorite restaurant.”

“Sounds nice,” Shiro says softly. “It also sounds like it’s getting kind of serious.”

The blush on Allura’s cheeks deepens, and she grins in a way that is a little goofy; the way Shiro knows she does when she feels so happy she just can’t hold it back.

“We had a really good talk in his old bedroom,” Allura says, her words coming out almost like a sigh of happiness. “I feel like we’re getting closer. He’s just so…open and honest with me, Shiro. Nothing like anyone else I’ve ever been with. I didn’t know it could be like this with someone; so light and easy.”

Shiro smiles, reaching over to pat her knee. “I’m really happy for you, Allura.”

Allura smiles warmly at him.

“Speaking of,” Allura says, her expression dropping from warm, lovey-dovey joy into a more calculating, determined one of furrowed brows and curious glint so fast Shiro almost gets whiplash. His heart makes a loud thump, because he knows that look on her. It’s the one which tells him she’s not going to give up until she has what she wants, and it usually never forebodes anything good for him. “I heard through the grapevine that I am not the only one who had a date during the weekend.”

Shiro can’t help the way he feels his cheeks heat up, the back of his neck sweating. He clears his throat. “It was nothing. Just a set-up by Hunk and Katie.”

“Your expression says otherwise,” Allura says, shifting closer to Shiro on the couch, enough so that she can place her hand on his arm as a comforting, warm weight. “Come on, Shiro, it’s me. I’ve been here all along, throughout it all, and I know you. And I haven’t seen you make that face since the first few years you were with Adam.”

Shiro sighs, closing his eyes and hanging his head. Sometimes it’s difficult having such close and old friends who are also extremely smart and observant like Allura. Who know him as well as they do.

“Fine,” he says. “We…I had a good time. I really…liked him.” He can’t help the wistful smile that takes over his lips, feeling his own cheeks flush now. “He was…he was so beautiful, Allura. Like a prince out of a storybook or something.” Shiro swallows, musing his words. “And…I felt something with him that I don’t think I’ve felt in a really, really long time.”

Allura’s expression spreads into a warm smile. “That’s great,” she says. “So why do you look so down?”

“It’s just too complicated,” Shiro sighs, shaking his head. “Between the two of us, there’s a lot of baggage to go around. He also has a daughter and…I don’t think I can add to his load. And he says he doesn’t want me to.”

Allura’s eyes narrow, her brows furrowing and her shoulders tensing in controlled, protective fury. “Did he say that? Because if he did…”

“No, no,” Shiro cuts in quick. “He just…says he doesn’t want a relationship. And…” He sighs. “Honestly, as much as I like him, I am not sure if I do, either. I’m just…not sure if I’m ready.”

Allura licks her lips in thought. “Shiro,” she says, considering and gentle. “I’m saying this as your friend, because I care about you. But you’ve let yourself be shut off for too long. The way Adam treated you was deplorable, but you can’t let that control the way you live out the rest of your life. You can’t let that prevent you from being happy.”

“…Lately, I think I’ve realized that, too. And I’m trying not to let it,” Shiro admits softly. “It’s strange, but it’s like after I met Keith, I…I feel like I finally realized I’d been asleep for years, too afraid to do the things I used to love. And now I’m trying to let go of that fear, and trying to find whatever pieces of the person I used to be, that I can be.”

Allura smiles softly, her eyes gentle. “It sounds like this Keith could be really good for you.”

“But that’s not enough to build a relationship on,” Shiro says, his shoulders slouching. “I don’t know if _I_ would be good for _him_. It might be unfair of me to try and insert myself into his life.”

“I think the key word there is _try_ ,” Allura says. “You won’t know unless you take the plunge.”

“He says he just wants to be friends, though,” Shiro says. He lets out a self-deprecating chuckle. “Not that I’ve been able to find the guts to even be that.”

“So start with being friends,” Allura says, waving her hand up. “You can see if it leads to something else. But you should at least make an effort.”

There is another knock on Shiro’s door, and without asking for permission, Coran opens the door, peeking his orange head in. “I am sorry to disturb you, Allura, but your 11 o’clock conference call is about to start.”

“Right. Thank you, Coran,” Allura says, slowly getting to her feet and smoothing out her skirt. She looks at Shiro over her shoulder. “Think about what I said, Shiro. It sounds like this Keith is worth at least trying for. And I think that person you’re trying to find again – the Shiro that _I_ remember – would never have given up on something he really wanted so easily.”

She gives him a sly smile that makes Shiro’s cheeks burn. He looks down at his knees, his heart thudding a steady, hard rhythm in his chest as he listens Allura exit his office. He can’t exactly deny that she has a point. And if he really wants to be anything to Keith, even friends, he needs to find more of that old courage that he once had. He needs to be brave for both of them now.

He takes his phone out of his pocket and starts typing.

**_Shiro:_ ** _I know this is sudden and last minute, so you can totally say no, but I think after the troubles you mentioned this morning, you deserve some comfort food. I know a diner that makes a killer mac and cheese and has food to-go. If you want, I could bring you some for lunch to your workplace._

He lets out a rush of calming air as he hits send. Despite the way his hands sweat and his heart keeps hammering, Shiro finds he almost likes the rush. It feels like another piece of him slotting back into place, another memory regained.

His jolts a little as his phone buzzes in his hands, and he rushes to open the message with shaky fingers.

**_Keith:_ ** _you can do that? don’t they need you at the office?_

Shiro smiles, typing out a quick reply.

**_Shiro:_ ** _Flexible hours, remember? I’m actually ahead in my work. It won’t be a bother, and I could use the company._

Keith’s reply is prompt.

**_Keith:_ ** _that’d be really great actually. do you think you can find your way here? I can take my lunch in about half an hour._

**_Shiro:_ ** _Pretty sure I can, yeah._

**_Keith:_ ** _remember, this is mostly alien clinic so don’t be shocked by who you see._

**_Shiro:_ ** _I’ll keep that in mind ;)._

**_Shiro:_ ** _See you soon :)._

And with that message sent, Shiro gets up, grabs his coat and his wallet, and heads out of the office.

…

It’s on days like these that Keith is the happiest for the chance to go to work. Callie still refused to even look at him when he dropped her off at school, slipping out of the car without a word, let alone a hug or a kiss. After the morning he’s had, Keith is glad to be amongst people who understand his need to be quiet and lose himself in his work. Even if they might be curious over what he did during the weekend they all insisted he take off, his coworkers can always tell when he’s not up for talking about himself and just wants to bury himself in his patients and files.

Ulaz has told him that Galra can smell most emotions, something Keith himself doesn’t seem to have inherited. It felt a little creepy to think about at first, but over the years it’s grown into something Keith appreciates. Most people have a hard time understanding him, reading him. Perhaps that is a part of his Galra side, because they would’ve been able to tell how he was feeling without him having to be so expressive. It’s grown into something of a relief to not constantly have to name or show how he’s feeling and still be understood.

This morning, after changing into his scrubs, when Keith had come into his and Ulaz’s shared office, his mentor had taken one look at him, pursed his lips, and then asked if he was alright handling patients or if he wanted to simply work on filing today. When Keith had replied he’d prefer patients, he’d been sent to do his rounds, checking up on the few people in beds and then assisting Ulaz with his appointments. It’s the best way he knows to shake off any lingering sorrows from the morning.

He was already feeling much more settled by the time Shiro messaged him, typing up patient reports on his computer. But it doesn’t mean he wasn’t beyond touched by the thought. Shiro doesn’t even know how bad things escalated with Callie today, and yet he still offered to bring Keith lunch to his workplace.

Keith’s never had anyone who had gone that far for him, who had offered to do something like this for him. And the thought of Shiro doing it, of Shiro being on his way to Marmora right now makes Keith feel antsy, like he can’t quite sit still. He can’t stop bouncing his knee, can’t stop the squirmy, warm feeling taking over his stomach and making his cheeks tingle.

He can be friends with Shiro. Just friends. This is fine. Friends eat lunch together. It’s fine. It’s fine.

“You seem to be feeling better than this morning.” Ulaz’s voice springs Keith out of his thoughts as he realizes he’s been staring at the same word in his file for the past few minutes.

Keith turns around in his chair to see Ulaz standing behind him, looming over his head. It is only because of their good working relationship of several years that Keith isn’t startled or doesn’t feel like he’s being scolded. Despite his tall stature typical of most Galra and his somewhat stern-looking face with its thin, sunken and long features, Keith knows Ulaz to be a very kind person and a good boss and mentor. He’s also become fairly adept at reading Ulaz’s facial expressions and body language, and right now, Keith can tell by the tone of his voice and the relaxed muscles in his cheeks that he’s actually pleased and relieved.

“I am,” Keith says, managing a small smile through his red cheeks. “A new friend offered to come over and bring me lunch here. I hope that’s okay?”

“Of course, naturally,” Ulaz says with a nod. “Which friend is this?”

“You don’t know him. Like I said, it’s new. We actually only met this Saturday,” Keith says, turning around to write a couple more lines to the patient file.

Ulaz raises a single eyebrow. “That is indeed recent. Yet he is offering to bring you lunch?”

Keith can feel his blush deepen. “He’s just a very nice person.”

“I’m sure he is,” Ulaz says, but the teasing lilt in his voice makes it difficult for Keith not to read more into his words. “I’m happy for you, Keith. You deserve to have some joy in your life, and being loved and loving someone in return is one of the greatest universal joys there are.”

Keith refuses to look at Ulaz, peering very intently at his computer screen. “It’s really not like that.”

Keith can feel Ulaz’s eyes on his back for a moment longer, but in the end all he says is, “If you say so,” before he, too, goes back to work.

…

Somewhat unexpectedly, it turns out Keith’s workplace is basically on the other side of town from Oriande Publishing. The distance, the time and the fare of the hover-taxi Shiro takes to get to his destination aren’t exactly encouraging factors for Shiro’s plan. Since he’s already on a time crutch he doesn’t want to ask Keith to change the plans and meet somewhere in the middle instead, for the fear Keith might completely cancel. Besides, it’s not like Shiro can’t afford the cab fare, and he figures he can just chalk this up as yet another new adventure for himself. Another new thing he can try out.

Besides, Shiro can’t deny that he's a little curious to see where Keith works, and what he might be like in a work environment. He’s sure experiencing that will teach him new things about the beautiful man, given how much he seems to love his job. After all, Shiro knows very well, how much a part of your identity your work can become when you lack some of the other things that make up a life.

Marmora Clinic is located in a fairly modest, normal-looking white stone building squeezed between an Italian restaurant and what seems to be a boat store. A few aliens of different kinds and appearances are coming out or stepping inside the building as Shiro pays the hover-taxi driver and steps out with the bag of food containers he got from the diner. As the cab leaves, Shiro takes out his phone into his free hand and begins typing.

**_Shiro:_ ** _I’m in the front of the building now._

The response arrives quickly.

**_Keith:_ ** _come to the third floor, I’ll meet you by the elevator doors._

Shiro puts his phone away in one fast movement, his heart pounding in his chest as he steps up the few stairs to the front door of the clinic, politely keeping it open for the old-looking Olkarian, who is just exiting the building. She gives him a polite and soft ‘thank you’ as she passes him, leaving Shiro able to slip into the clean, plain lobby with pastel colored walls and light gray tiled floors.

The front desk is built to the left, the elevators to his right, and Shiro walks over to them, pressing the button to go up. The doors open for him quickly, and he chooses the third floor for himself as Keith instructed. As the elevator moves up, Shiro can’t seem to be able to decide what to do with his hands. Having his arms crossed might make him seem unapproachable and closed off, it feels weird to hold his hands in front of him but his hands keep shaking if he tries to just keep them to his side.

He clears his throat hard, trying to calm himself. He’s making this into a far bigger thing than it needs to be. He’s just going to have lunch with a new friend. He shouldn’t make this into such a huge deal. It’s not like this is a date.

Shiro lets out a sigh of relief as the elevator makes a pinging sound, letting him know he has reached the third floor. The doors slide open before him, and he steps through into a lobby with wooden couches and old magazines, as well as a desk for registration a little further beyond. Keith is there, talking to the nurse behind the counter, but quickly looks up and spots Shiro, his galaxy eyes shining in the overhead fluorescent lights.

“Shiro, hey,” he calls, waving and walking towards him.

Shiro’s heart jumps into his throat at the sound of his voice, the sight of his smile, and the look of him right now. Keith is dressed light lavender scrubs, his long dark hair tied in a cute, easygoing bun at the top of his head, just a few strands left to frame his face with his bangs. Shiro never thought he could find medical apparel in any way attractive, after everything he’s had to endure in a hospital setting, despite the kindness the various doctors and nurses he’s met in his life had shown to him and his family; but apparently Keith can make anything work for him. Shiro honestly feels a little dizzy with how well Keith seems to fit in here, in his work clothes, and the kind of effect it has on him.

“Hey,” he says, somewhat dumbly, his voice coming out far more breathless than he intended.

“Hi,” Keith says as he arrives next to Shiro, giving him a small smile. “Thanks for coming all this way. It was really nice of you.”

“I-it was nothing,” Shiro says, knowing even before he says the words that the journey was totally worth everything just to be able to see Keith like this. “It’s, uh…it’s good to see you.”

“You too,” Keith says, before sighing and lowering his eyes. “You have no idea how good.”

Shiro’s heart grows warm at the words, but he also can’t help but feel concerned by Keith’s actions and tone. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Let’s just eat first,” Keith says, turning on his heel and gesturing for Shiro to follow. “We can use the staff lounge.”

“Your coworkers won’t mind?” Shiro asks, following behind Keith at an even pace.

“They might give us funny looks,” Keith admits. “But you’re not the first guest here and won’t be the last.”

Shiro avoids the eyes of the nurse at the registration desk as he lets Keith lead him through corridors to the staff lounge a few doors down. Thankfully, there aren’t many people around, though a few other nurses raise eyebrows at them. Shiro does his best to ignore them since Keith appears to do the same, but he’s still glad when they are able to enter the lounge and it’s empty.

The staff lounge at the clinic is a cozy little space, a mix of a living room to the right as they enter and a kitchen to the left. The living room area includes a couch and some chairs with a coffee table and a TV on the wall. The kitchen area has a fridge next to some counters built on top of drawers, cupboards above them with a coffee maker and a microwave. A little ways from them there is a table and some chairs for people to have their meals on. The remaining smell of meals eaten in the past linger in the air.

Shiro opens his coat a little before he sets the bag on one of the free counters, starting to take out the containers of food as Keith takes out some plates and glasses from the cupboards above, the cutlery from the drawers below.

“You can go sit down,” Shiro says softly. “I can plate the food.”

Keith turns to him, raising an eyebrow. “You sure?”

Shiro nods, meeting Keith’s gaze head-on. He doesn’t want to say it in case he might sound patronizing, but he has a feeling Keith could use some TLC right about now, even if won’t admit it.

“Well, if you’re sure,” Keith says, his cheeks turning a bit pink as he averts his eyes. He lingers for a moment longer before heading to take a seat at the table. He does take the glasses and the cutlery with him, but Shiro supposes he can give in that much.

Shiro plates the food from the containers, still steaming hot, bringing them in both hands and setting one before Keith and one for himself before taking a seat, removing his coat and laying it across the back of the chair. The two of them wordlessly begin to eat, but Shiro observes Keith from the corner of his eye as he takes the first bite. Smiling to himself at the way Keith’s eyes light up as he does, immediately starting to dig in with gusto.

“You were right,” Keith says after a few bites. “This is good mac and cheese.”

“Told you,” Shiro says, smiling over at him.

“I really needed this today,” Keith says, and the words come out like a rushed sigh. “So…thanks again, for coming.”

“No problem,” Shiro says, before putting his fork down softly. “You know, that offer to talk is still open. Indefinitely, actually.”

Keith lowers his eyes down to his plate, chewing on his bottom lip, his brows furrowed and his shoulders tense. He looks almost like he’s in pain, emotions swimming across his face, squeezing his fork in a tight fist.

“Keith,” Shiro says softly. “I’m not gonna make you talk if you don’t want to, but…it might help. Sometimes it can be easier to talk to a stranger.”

Keith swallows hard. He takes in a breath, lets it out slowly. He looks somewhere far ahead as he opens his mouth.

“I just…I feel like everything has been going downhill since Callie came back from my ex’s place after the weekend,” he says, every word coming out forced, like he has to fight himself to make them come out. Shiro listens intently, wondering if trying to comfort him would make things better or worse. For now, he refrains. “She threw a huge tantrum this morning. We’ve fought before, but this time it was different, and I just don’t know what has changed. Did James say something to her? Or have I done something?”

“Well, do you think you could ask her that?” Shiro says softly.

“I guess I’m afraid of the answer,” Keith admits, his breathing growing heavy, his eyes gleaming and reddened. “I just feel like everything has been getting harder and harder since James came back into our lives. I feel like I’m constantly between a rock and a hard place, like I have no way out. And I don’t know how to handle it all without mixing Callie up in things going on between me and James. I don’t want her to feel like a pawn or like she has no say over what happens to her, but I also don’t know how much longer I can keep all of this up…”

“Hey,” Shiro says gently, now taking a chance and reaching over to cover Keith’s fisted hand with his own as a sign of comfort. Keith doesn’t flinch, or push him away. He actually appears to relax a little, his shoulders lessening in their tension. “It’s okay. You’re doing great. I can’t even imagine the strength and selflessness it must’ve taken to even consider letting your ex back into your life like this. But you’ve done if for your daughter’s sake. And by that alone I know you care about her so much and I know you can work this out. But Keith,” Shiro searches for his gaze until Keith turns to meet him. “It’s not wrong of you to take care of yourself, too. You can’t take care of Callie if you don’t take care of yourself. And if your ex is making you feel this bad, I think it’s worth considering what else can be done.”

Keith lets out a tearful chuckle, but he finishes it with a smile. “Thanks for saying that.”

“Of course,” Shiro says with an encouraging smile of his own.

He finds himself getting lost in Keith’s eyes. Even tearful and red, they’re so beautiful, like stars glimmering in the purple nebulae. Keith meets his gaze, and his hand is warm beneath Shiro’s, slowly relaxing from its fist.

But just as Shiro starts to feel like there might be something between them, Keith seems to catch himself and averts his eyes, withdrawing his hand from beneath Shiro’s and down to his lap. His cheeks and the tips of his ears are flushed red, which is a precious look on him, but Shiro still can’t help but feel disappointment settling at his core, cold and heavy.

Keith clears his throat. “So…how about you? What have you been up to since I last saw you?”

Shiro swallows, trying to regain his composure and a sense of normalcy; to let the moment pass as Keith wants it to, despite the way his heart thuds an uneven beat in his chest. “I’ve actually been trying out some new things in my life. I kind of realized I’ve been stuck in a rut for far too long and figured I could use something a little different once in a while.”

Keith raises an eyebrow, which Shiro figures is a good thing. He looks a lot less like he’s about to cry now. “Is that why you came here today?”

“That’s part of it,” Shiro says, feeling his cheeks heating up as he continues, “But really, I think I just wanted to see you.” He lowers his eyes shyly. “I…I hope you don’t mind.”

Shiro raises his eyes to see Keith’s reaction. He’s flushed again himself, this time even to the tips of his ears, visible with the bun keeping his hair off them. Keith’s rubbing his arm nervously, his eyes cast to his side. He’s the very picture of cuteness, and Shiro smiles a little out of both relief and affection. Maybe his game is not completely gone after all.

“I…I don’t mind,” Keith says softly, still seeming unable to meet Shiro’s eyes. “Honestly, I…I’m really glad you came today.”

Shiro grins. “I’m glad I came too.”

Slowly, as if feeling Shiro’s eyes on him, Keith begins to move his head and meets Shiro’s gaze. His flushed, pretty, sweet face really is adorable, and the way his eyes sparkle in his direction makes Shiro’s heart thump in his chest. He keeps smiling in Keith’s direction as neither of them says anything. He wishes he could hold Keith’s hand again, or maybe even put his hand on his leg, but he remembers the way Keith took his hand back before. His touch is evidently not welcomed.

But Shiro also knows he can’t keep pretending like he doesn’t feel something between them, something other than the friendship they’ve been aiming at. It simmers between them even now as they look at each other, like electricity in the air. And Shiro can’t imagine Keith doesn’t feel it too. And while Shiro knows wanting to be with someone isn’t the same thing as being ready for it…he also doesn’t think it’s fair to either one of them to pretend like the connection doesn’t exist.

Allura is right. Shiro can’t just give up without even taking a chance.

He swallows down his nerves and clears his throat a little. “Keith, I…”

Before Shiro can say anything more, the door to the lounge stops him and grabs his words from the air, catching both his and Keith’s attention towards it.

“Keith, I am terribly sorry to bother you during lunch, but-” the very tall, very purple man stepping inside the space starts before his eyes find the two of them.

And as Shiro’s eyes meet the widening golden ones by the door, his breath catches with recognition and nerves. “Ulaz?”

“Shiro?”

…

Keith blinks as Shiro and Ulaz say each other’s names in clear recognition, looking between them in rabid and confused fashion to the point that he begins to feel a little dizzy.

“You two know each other?” he asks, raising a questioning eyebrow. This was just about the last thing he expected from this day. Or even this lunch.

“I…” Shiro looks alarmed, his face turning as white as a sheet, and Keith immediately knows whatever situation is taking place, it’s veering into territory that is sensitive and one that Shiro doesn’t want to be in.

He’s desperately trying to come up with a quick way to ease out of whatever is happening, but Ulaz beats him to it, likely seeing the exact same thing Keith is. “He used to be a patient of mine.”

Keith blinks, watching the way Shiro’s tense shoulders seem to relax with an exhale, the nervous atmosphere slowly starting to settle.

“Yeah,” Shiro says, taking a few steadying breaths.

It’s not that Keith doesn’t take Ulaz for his word – Keith knows he used to work in a general human hospital before joining Marmora – but given the way Shiro skirts around certain things, clearly uncomfortable talking about them, and how anxious he seemed just now, Keith thinks he can guess pretty well under what circumstances Ulaz was Shiro’s doctor. After all, during his long life he’s had hundreds upon hundreds of patients. Something about Shiro must’ve left an impression for him to remember him now, and possibly indicates they spent a bit more time together than just a few occasions.

But it’s still not Keith’s place to ask. If Shiro doesn’t want to talk about it, then it’s none of his business. Even if he can’t help but wonder a little.

“What a small world this is, though,” Shiro says with a forced laugh. “I didn’t think I’d see you again, Ulaz. I thought you would’ve gone back to Daibazaal by now.”

“Things happened and my plans changed,” Ulaz says, his facial features softening in something akin to a smile, albeit a sad one. “An old friend founded this clinic less than a year after we parted ways and he asked me to come work for him, if only for a while before he could find other doctors. But I have rather enjoyed my time here and haven’t felt the need to leave.”

Shiro opens his mouth, as if to speak, but then closes it, seeming to change his mind. He licks his lips before saying, “And you and Keith work together?”

While it was a question, Keith gets the feeling Shiro really wanted to say something else. It makes him wonder just how well Shiro and Ulaz really know each other. Keith knows Ulaz has a lifemate back in Daibazaal and that they’ve been together for a very long time. He certainly would never want to think of such things about his mentor, but he also knows what people are like. And he can’t help but think that a man like Shiro could make even the most faithful man question his loyalty.

If Ulaz himself noticed Shiro seeming to change his mind about his question, he doesn’t show it, simply smiling gently at him. “Indeed. Keith is my primary nurse.”

“Speaking of,” Keith cuts in. “Was there something you needed?”

“Oh, yes,” Ulaz says, turning to him. “I can’t seem to find Vrek’s file in the archives.”

“I switched the filing where that is located since we’re still waiting for some test results on his allergies,” Keith says. “Check File E.”

“I shall. Thank you.” Ulaz nods. “Sorry to have bothered you both on your date.”

Keith blood rushing to his cheeks with abandon, and he lowers his eyes so he doesn’t have to meet Ulaz’s amused gaze.

“It’s not a date,” he mumbles, suddenly feeling overheated and sweaty with embarrassment.

“Well, regardless,” Ulaz says, and Keith hates that he can actually _hear_ the amusement and disbelief in his voice. “Remember what I said earlier.”

As Keith slowly lifts his head to look at him, he sees Ulaz nod at his and Shiro’s direction. “It was good seeing you again, Shiro. I am glad you’re well.”

“And you,” Shiro says, nodding as well. “Perhaps we’ll see each other again soon.”

“Perhaps,” Ulaz says kindly. “For now though, I should get back to work and let the two of you finish your lunch.”

He slips out of the room, leaving behind a more stifled, awkward atmosphere than there was before. Keith stares down at his food to avoid looking Shiro in the eye even though he honestly doesn’t feel very hungry anymore. He feels a little dizzy knowing just how close his and Shiro’s worlds have been all this time, with how many people they both know. It’s almost like they’ve been orbiting one another, and the thought feels almost accusing in his mind. If something were to go wrong between him and Shiro, Keith might never be able to escape him. He’d be stuck in the same situation as with James now, just for different reasons. He doesn’t think Shiro would be like James, but the hurt would still be there and he wouldn’t be able to avoid it. The thought makes his stomach turn.

And yet, despite his better knowledge…Keith is tempted to risk it all. Being with Shiro feels so natural, no matter how much he tries to fight it. He’s so kind and considerate, and it’s easy to be with him, talking or silent. It’s nothing like Keith has ever experienced before and it feels like something he’s always been missing now that he’s found it. It’s like being with Shiro makes him forget all reason and just think with his heart. And Keith hasn’t done that since he was eighteen and found out he was going to have a baby.

And that, all of it…terrifies him.

“You’re not going to ask?” Shiro’s voice breaks Keith out of his musings.

He looks up, blinking. “Ask what?”

“I know you must be curious,” Shiro says. He sounds weary and tired, but not angry or unkind. “About Ulaz and me. And everything else that comes with it. I know you’re not stupid, Keith, and I can tell that you’ve put two and two together.”

Shiro wiggles his metallic fingers. “You didn’t ask before, and you’re not asking now. Why?”

Keith swallows, feeling the heat of shame in the back of his throat. “I am curious,” he admits. “But I can also tell you don’t wanna talk about it. So I’m not gonna make you. I have my share of secrets, too.”

Keith can feel his cheeks heat up, his hands trembling, as he looks at Shiro’s prosthetic resting on the table. He remembers the way Shiro took his hand earlier to comfort him, and how warm his touch was, how grounding it felt. He’s not sure how much Shiro can feel with the prosthesis, but…it would be the principal of the thing, right? And Keith’s always been better with his actions than his words.

He’s scared how it might seem. But he also wants to do it. And for once, he doesn’t want his fear to stop him from doing something he wants to do.

He reaches over and covers Shiro’s metal hand with his own. The metal feels smooth and surprisingly warm beneath him. To not draw too much attention to the action, he says, “I just hope you know you have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Whatever happened…I’m pretty sure I’ve heard crazier stories around here.”

Shiro stares down at their joined hands. He slowly looks up into Keith’s eyes, his cheeks a bit pink, but looking tired and vulnerable in his eyes. Older than his years.

“I…” Shiro starts, hesitating, lowering his eyes. “I…I want to tell you. I think. I feel like you might actually understand better than most. It’s just…” He sighs, his shoulders hunching. “It’s just hard…thinking about that time.”

“I understand,” Keith says, even though it feels so inadequate, and his neck prickles with heat for the awkwardness of it. “You don’t have to force yourself.”

“It’s been a long time since I’ve _had_ to explain anything about this,” Shiro admits. “Almost everyone who is in my life now, was there when it happened. I haven’t really met many people who I’ve felt the need to share it all with.”

Keith nods, unable to find the words to say anything, squeezing his hand around Shiro’s metal fingers. “You don’t have to tell me.”

“I will, though. Soon,” Shiro says, granting him a small smile. “But I don’t think today is the best time for it.”

“That’s fair,” Keith says, nodding again. “Let’s just put a pin to that for now, then?”

Shiro smiles a bit wider. “I appreciate that, thanks.”

Keith smiles a little in return, and picks up his fork again. Now that the air has been cleared somewhat, he feels more settled and like he can eat again. “Let’s just finish this lunch then.”

Shiro does the same, still smiling. “Let’s.”

It’s not until Keith has taken a few bites that he realizes he’s still holding Shiro’s hand.

He hides a shy smile in his fork. He lets it be.


	5. Chapter 5

The rest of the lunch goes by smoothly, though Shiro is constantly aware that he and Keith are deliberately avoiding the more difficult or serious topics altogether. But for a lunch meeting that only lasts for a short time, that seems appropriate and Shiro finds he doesn’t mind. Honestly, it feels good to just be able to _be_ with Keith without any added pressure. It’s just so easy to spend time with him, that Shiro quickly finds himself relaxing. The earlier anxiety and tension forgotten.

Still, Shiro’s mind can’t help but return to the earlier appearance of Ulaz. Not on how the two of them met, he’s keeping those thoughts firmly at bay with looks at Keith’s eyes and smiles – but at how strange it was to see him here, on Earth. Has he been here all this time?

During their time together, he and Ulaz got to know each other rather well. Ulaz had seemed to realize Shiro’s need to talk about something other than his injury most of the time, so he ended up filling the silence himself. He usually talked about his lifemate back on Daibazaal and about their life together. Ulaz had come to Earth to further his learning and abilities as a doctor. To not just help the Galra but other species too, as well as to learn more about Earth’s medical developments. He hadn’t planned on staying long, the distance between him and his mate, Thace, being hard on them both. It seems strange that he’d still be here.

Shiro wants to ask Keith about it, but he’s a little nervous that the conversation would lead to topics of discussion he’s still trying to avoid, at least for now. Keith may have promised he wouldn’t ask about Shiro’s past, but things might still come out if he talks about anything surrounding them.

He glances down at Keith’s hand still covering his prosthetic one. The feeling of it is muted, but he can still sense the warmth radiating from the touch. He knows it must not have been easy for Keith to do that, but he did it for Shiro. He found it in himself to be brave.

Maybe Shiro can be, too. Even just a little. He can at least try.

“So, how long have your worked here?” Shiro asks, figuring he might as well start out with a more neutral topic and see if he can work his way up to his real question.

“Ever since I graduated, so about four years,” Keith says with a smile. “I interned here while I was still in school. When I graduated, I was offered a permanent position.”

“That’s pretty awesome,” Shiro says with a grin of his own. “Have you known Ulaz all that time?”

“Pretty much,” Keith says. “He was – is – my mentor.” He swallows, licking his lips. “He’s…he’s done a lot for me over the years. He is a good man.”

“He is.” Shiro nods. “It’s just…when I knew him, he used to tell me about his lifemate.”

“Yeah, Thace,” Keith says. “He’s mentioned him a few times.”

“So they’re still together?” Shiro asks. “Even though Ulaz is here?”

“As far as I know.” Keith shrugs. But for some reason, his shoulders remain tense as he lowers them. “Why do you ask?”

“No reason,” Shiro says. “It’s just…he seemed to really miss him back then. It seems…strange that he hasn’t gone back home to him.”

Keith lets out a breath, and his shoulders relax with it. But his expression quickly falls, his eyes lowering down along with his eyebrows.

“I never thought about it,” he says softly. “He’s never talked to me about it. I always assumed things were fine.”

“Hey,” Shiro says, warm and kind as he can make himself, leaning forward to meet Keith’s eyes. “It’s okay. Maybe things have changed. Or maybe as your mentor, Ulaz hasn’t felt like he should burden you with his problems. After all, don’t you shield your daughter from things, too?”

Keith’s cheeks flush. “That’s different.”

“But he cares about you. I can tell,” Shiro says. “I’m sure he just didn’t want to add to your problems.”

Keith shrugs again, seeming deep in thought. Shiro lets him muse, finishing up his lunch and starting to gather the dirty dishes into a pile.

“It’s strange to realize someone who looks out for you isn’t infallible, isn’t it? That deep down they are just a person too with their own problems,” he says softly.

“…I thought I had learned that,” Keith says, equally soft, and sad. “When my Dad died, I thought I had. He always seemed so large, so strong, and yet in moments he was…just gone. So fast. Like it was nothing.”

“It was the same for me when Grandpa died,” Shiro says, looking Keith gently in the eyes. “I’d been living the simple, carefree college life when I got the call. He…he never said anything to me about it. He kept up appearances until the last moment so I could live my life in peace, and be happy and successful.”

“That’s what parents do,” Keith says with a sad smile. “I know that now, better.” He bites his lip, averting his eyes. “…Though I’m also trying not to repeat my parents’ mistakes. I never want Callie to be alone like I was.”

“You’re doing great,” Shiro says. “I’ve only known you for a little while, but I know you are. I know how much you’re giving to be a good father to her.”

Keith lets out a watery chuckle. “Thanks.” He shakes his head. “God, we really slip into sad territory at lot, don’t we?”

“I don’t mind,” Shiro says, and he realizes he means it. Despite their earlier attempts to steer clear of darker topics, “I like that I don’t have to hide around you. That we can be honest about who we are with each other.”

Keith gives him a smile, squeezing his hand. “Me too.”

They look each other deep in the eyes for a few moments, warm and comfortable in their shared silence, until a beeping sound startles them out of it, making them both jump.

“Sorry, sorry, that’s my beeper,” Keith stammers out, scrambling to find the device in the pocket of his pants and turn it off. “I need to... I need to start getting back to work. My lunchtime is just about over.”

“I’ll leave you to it, then,” Shiro says, standing up with Keith and taking the dirty dishes in hand, trying to will away the pang of disappointment of having to part ways with Keith again. “What should I do with these?”

“There’s a dishwasher,” Keith says, pointing to the metal machinery in place of some of the cabinets. “You can just put them in there.”

“Okay,” Shiro says, but can’t seem to make his legs move. Not before Keith does.

Keith smiles warmly in his direction. “Thanks for all of this, Shiro. I mean it. I really needed this today.”

“It means just as much to me,” Shiro says with a smile of his own. “We should do this again sometime.”

“We should,” Keith says with a nod. “But next time, we can maybe meet halfway somewhere. I don’t think it’s right for you to come all the way over here every time.”

“I’m sure we can figure out something,” Shiro says, a little relieved at Keith’s suggestion. “Text me later?”

“Sure,” Keith says.

For a moment, both of them just stand still, looking at each other. But unlike before, where they were completely at ease doing this, now it feels like they’re both expecting something. For someone to move or say a proper goodbye, perhaps. To make some sort of gesture. But Shiro’s just not sure what that should or could be.

Shiro swallows as his arms tingle with the realization of what he _wants_ it to be. But he’s just not sure if that would be welcomed, or if Keith even likes being touched. They did hold hands for quite a while during the lunch, but this might be different.

He licks his lips, and takes a deep breath. He’s supposed to be brave. He needs to take chances. He’ll never know if he doesn’t try.

He sets the plates down, and opens his arms in an invitation for a hug.

To his gratitude and happy surprise, Keith takes the few steps to close the gap between them. Falling into his arms and wrapping his own around Shiro. Keith keeps his hold light, so Shiro does the same, though as soon as he can smell Keith’s hair in his nose, he wishes he didn’t have to let go at all despite how dizzy the scent makes him. That he could just hold him tight here and never let go. Keith is so warm and comfortable against him, feeling like he fits in Shiro’s arms perfectly, the best height for Shiro to tuck him close. The only thing that makes it a little easier to let go is the thought that Keith can probably feel Shiro’s rabid, loud heartbeat against him like this.

Shiro follows Keith’s gaze as he departs from the embrace.

“Well,” Keith says, his voice coming out a little hoarse. He clears his throat. “I should go. You can find your way back on your own, right?”

“Yeah,” Shiro says, feeling like his heart is in his throat himself. “Have a good day.”

“You too,” Keith says, and turns to leave the staff lounge.

…

Keith walks down the corridor, his heart pounding hard in his chest. He feels like his steps don’t even touch the ground. It’s both terrifying and exciting feeling, one like he hasn’t felt in a long time. It’s like his heart is about to burst with it, and he’s not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. It’s a high, and Keith has tried so long to be sober. To be level.

And yet he can’t make himself wish this feeling would ever end.

Keith enters his and Ulaz’s shared office and lets out a breath, just to calm himself.

“I truly hope I didn’t interrupt something vital.” Ulaz’s voice makes Keith snap with surprise. “Sorry. I didn’t intend to startle you.”

“It’s fine,” Keith says, though a little breathlessly, returning to his desk. “Did you find the file?”

“I did, thank you,” Ulaz says from his own desk. “How was the lunch?”

“It was fine,” Keith says, starting to pull up a few patient records. “It was a bit awkward of you to call it a date in front of Shiro though.”

“Perhaps I thought the both of you could use a small push,” Ulaz says, and there’s a touch of amusement in his tone.

“I’m not really sure either one of us is ready to be pushed,” Keith says, biting his lip. The words hurt more than he thought they would.

Ulaz is silent for a moment. Keith begins reading the first patient record just to distract himself, even if it doesn’t go too well. His head is just too scrambled up with emotion.

“I knew Shiro quite well several years ago,” Ulaz says eventually, his voice soft. “And from what I see, he doesn’t seem to have changed. I know you to be a wonderful man as well, and having overcome hardships in your past, you have something in common with Shiro.”

“You shouldn’t say more,” Keith says. “He was your patient. And he wants to tell me more himself when he’s ready.”

“I won’t,” Ulaz says. “All I want to say is that I think the two of you could be something beautiful together. You could make something together. I could sense it when I walked into the room.”

Keith bites his lip. He tries to focus on the words in front of him, but they all blur together. He starts over, but nothing of what he reads seems to stick.

“…Maybe,” he whispers into the air, not knowing or caring if Ulaz hears. The word feels like an exhale. His heart seems to settle.

He takes out his phone, and types out a quick message.

**_Keith:_ ** _I really had a good time today. be safe on your way back._

He puts his phone away and begins to read the records properly.

…

After putting the dishes in the dishwasher and the trash into the garbage, Shiro calls himself another hover-taxi, puts his coat back on and heads out to wait. It doesn’t take long for the car to arrive, and just when he’s settling inside, his phone pings with a message. It’s from Keith and it makes him smile and warms his heart. Keith hadn’t even thought about how they just parted ways, he just messaged Shiro because he wanted to. He’s so much braver than Shiro.

Keith’s galaxy eyes, his reserved smiles, his flushed cheeks, his dark soft hair, his smell, his warmth…all of it fills Shiro’s mind as he passively watches the city go by. It’s like the whole world is bursting with more color than he’s ever seen it. Everything seems more beautiful, and for once, Shiro feels brave. He feels like he can tackle any challenge.

**_Shiro:_ ** _Me too. Just let me know when you’d be available to do it again. As I said, I’m pretty sure you have the more pressing schedule of the two of us ;)._

As he finds himself back at Oriande Publishing, his heart thudding with each step he takes, Shiro already knows exactly what he’s going to do with the rest of his day. He’s ready, now. He knows it. He can do this.

It’s time to tackle the big challenging column.

Shiro says hello to a few people as he passes them by, unable to help his manic grin as he makes his way to his office and to his chair, logging into his computer and pulling up the mystery letter he’s supposed to respond to for the big showdown.

_Dear Shiro,_

_I am a successful lawyer working for a big corporation that pays me incredibly well. I have a wonderful house, my own car and great parents who have always supported me through all my life. Everything should be great for me as a young man in the prime of life. Yet I feel empty and like the most important thing is still missing._

_I know what that thing is, too. It is my family. You see, seven years ago when I was in my freshman year of college, I was in a relationship with a wonderful man. However, being so focused on my studies and my future, I am afraid I rather ended up ignoring him, and in the end, things did not work out. I went back to my life and he went back to his, and I did not see him or hear from him for a while._

_Roughly four years after I had last seen him, I learned my ex had been pregnant with my child. He had decided to keep the baby, meaning I now had a three-year-old daughter I had never met. I immediately found a way to make contact and become a part of my child’s life. However, when I saw my ex again after all these years, holding my daughter’s hand, I realized what a huge mistake I had made letting him go in the first place._

_Ever since then, I have been trying to hint to him that I wish to get back together and for us and our daughter to become a real family. I know that’s what our daughter really wants and needs as well. However, my ex does not seem to budge even an inch towards the idea, no matter how much I try to prove myself to him. Knowing he has not dated anyone since the two of us were together brings me some hope, but I simply do not know how to move forward with this. I have tried everything I can think of._

_Please, Shiro, help me get my family and the love of my life back._

_Sincerely,_

_Father in Love_

Shiro blinks at the text a few times after reading it. Then he reads it again, just to really take in what the words in front of him say. He wrinkles his nose, huffing in disgust.

He’s been working with people like the writer of this letter long enough to know when to read between the lines. When he needs to really be able to look at the big picture and see how one-sided this account of events really is; and especially when that account is trying to hide at least one dirty detail. And this letter reeks of self-editing and arrogance; the very specific smell of trying to make yourself seem better than you actually were during the events recounted in the letter. The fact it starts out with the writer praising what a great life he has alone indicates that.

Of course, Shiro can never be sure how much of what anyone writes to him is true, and whatever anyone says will always be just their version of the events. But with this one, he just _knows_. He’s not sure if it’s intuition or expertise or what, but he has a feeling not much of what the letter says about the writer’s ex, or the reasons why he left the writer are actually true. The fact he just happened to be pregnant and never told the writer about it especially seems awfully convenient.

It is also absolutely a challenging letter to respond to. Allura definitely would’ve had her reasons to both tell him to wait on it and to give it to him in the first place. There are definite pitfalls in the possible ways Shiro can respond to it. If the writer has truly been hinting about wanting to get back together with his ex for the past three years, the ex is either completely oblivious or really doesn’t want to be with the writer at all. And Shiro knows better than to encourage putting a relationship back together just because of a child, especially when he doesn’t know the ex or how he might feel about the whole situation. He also doesn’t want to accidentally make the situation tougher for the ex or the child.

Shiro steels himself for the task, closing his eyes. Keith’s face passes by his eyelids, as if it’s encouraging him. What would he say if Keith was the ex in the letter, trying to avoid the advances of his shitty ex while trying to keep peace for the sake of their daughter?

Shiro opens his eyes, lets out a breath, puts his hands on the keyboard, and begins typing,

_Dear Father,_

_While it is a wonderful thought, and certainly many children dream for their families to be whole and their parents to be together, I think it is important to acknowledge that being separated is not always a bad thing. Sometimes relationships simply don’t work out or are not the best thing for all or any of the parties involved. As much as many parents believe it so, it is not always in the best interests of the children to remain together no matter what. Children can sense the unhappiness that lingers in the home, and it’s also important to remember that the parents also deserve to be happy. They don’t need to force themselves through several miserable years just because they think it’s the best for their children, or their family as a whole. It’s not always about the bigger picture._

_What I am trying to say here is that although you may love your ex, and want to be together with him for both the sake of yourself and your child; the fact that your ex hasn’t reciprocated is worrying to me. I don’t think that after this much time it can all be chalked up to simple obliviousness; I believe he is trying to indicate to you that he’s not interested in the idea of you two being together again._

_Therefore, first and foremost, I must emphasize this: you cannot force him to want you or to reunite romantically. You were apart for several years and he has likely become a very different person from the person you knew before. Parenthood changes a person and it can also explain why he hasn’t been dating. Many single parents of young children simply can’t find the time._

_That being said, if you really want to give this one more try, I suggest simply being kind to your ex. Try to make his life easier in every little way you can. Offer to clean his house for him, take your child in for a while so he can have a night to himself, make sure he can come home to a warm meal after a long day at work. Simple, little things that might make him feel more like you fit into his life, and have his best interests at heart. Even if it doesn’t work out, I’m fairly certain you’ll have a better relationship with him afterwards._

_After a bit of this, try and be honest and straightforward about your feelings. Tell him openly how you feel about him and your family; the way you have done to me in this letter. However, and I must emphasize this once again: you **must** respect the way he responds to your confession. If he says no, then you must let it be and let him go so you can both move forward with your lives. You need to respect him as a person, and remember he doesn’t owe you anything. If he doesn’t want to be with you, you need to recognize that choice._

_Regards,_

_Shiro the Hero_

Shiro lets out a sigh, leaning back in his chair. That’s about as good a response as he can make for this.

…

The rest of Keith’s shift at work goes by smoothly. The pleasant, fluttery feeling left behind by his lunch with Shiro sticks around, and Keith finds it’s even easier than normal to do his job. He enjoys being around his patients more, the paperwork goes by more easily, and nothing seems to really rattle him. It’s like Shiro is guarding him even when he’s not physically present, settling him and encouraging him.

It’s enough to give Keith the courage he needs to go pick up his daughter from school after his long day. His heart still thumps uncomfortably in his chest all the way to the school, but that’s as far as it goes. Fighting with Callie now feels less like a personal failure, and more like one more trial and error situation as a parent that they can hopefully work out now that they’ve both had some time to cool off.

Callie seems to feel the same way, because when Keith goes to her classroom to pick her up, her eyes well up and she runs into his arms, holding him tight around the neck.

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” she murmurs into his ear. “I didn’t mean it this morning. I don’t hate you. I love you.”

“I love you too, Callie,” Keith says, pressing a long kiss into her hair, his own eyes burning. He holds her a bit closer. “I’m sorry too. I was too harsh this morning. I should’ve tried to listen to you more.”

Keith holds his daughter until she voluntarily pulls back. He takes out a tissue and wipes her eyes and helps her blow her nose. Afterwards, he takes her hand and her bag and leads her over to the car. They can talk more there, where no one can hear or see them. Keith’s taught Callie to always be honest about her feelings and not be ashamed of them even in front of people, but there are some things that are best discussed in private. Especially in the vicinity of Lance’s nosey ears, even if it’s likely Callie may have confided in him during the day anyway.

They settle into their seats in the car and shut the doors. Keith turns to his daughter, sitting by his side, making sure to put on his gentlest expression and kindest paternal tone.

“Would you like to tell me more about what happened this morning?” he asks.

“…Are you still mad?” Callie asks quietly, not meeting Keith’s eyes.

“I’m not mad. I promise,” he says softly. “But you know I would like to understand. I’m sorry we weren’t able to have this conversation in the morning, but if you’d like to talk about it now, I’d want to know what was going through your mind.”

There’s a moment’s silence, the muted sounds of cars driving off from the school parking lot filling the air.

“…I was just in a bad mood,” Callie murmurs into the quiet.

“Starling, I don’t think just being in a bad mood is enough to explain what you said to me in the morning,” Keith says, managing somehow to keep his tone steady. He feels a ghost of Shiro’s warmth on his hand, encouraging him.

“I thought you weren’t mad.”

“I’m not,” Keith reassures his daughter. “But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t hurt.”

He reaches over to place a hand on Callie’s shoulder. “Just help me understand. You usually like school.”

It was one of the few things Keith was pretty sure she’d inherited from James rather than him, though even with that he can’t be completely sure. He remembers liking school just fine when he was young, before his Dad had died. But after he was gone, Keith had easily been able to tell no one expected much from him anymore. He’d only either be a good statistic or a bad one, not a child whose parents encouraged him by putting his tests on the fridge or helped him with his homework. It hadn’t taken much for him to give up on school and soon after, himself. He’d managed to graduate high school, but only barely.

But later, with the proper motivation, the tools and people to encourage and help him, he’d actually loved nursing school. It felt good to know he was bettering himself and working towards something he’d secretly wanted since he was a kid. Hunk and Pidge had helped him study and even when his body ached during the later months of his pregnancy, the kicks in his belly helped him carry on. And when Callie was born…all he’d needed to keep going, to fight the anxieties and the tiredness of the situation, was to look at her sleeping face and think ‘I’m doing this for her.’

Keith had been at the top of his class when he graduated. So who knows what the truth really is, when it comes to Callie and school. He knows she’s a smart kid and he does his best to be as involved in and stay on top of things when it comes to her education. But even aside from the actual school, Callie is fairly popular and she has lots of friends. She has all the experiences Keith always wished she’d have going to school. She never dreads going there in the morning the way he used to, at least as far as he knows. So Keith really doesn’t know where the sudden outburst of protest came from. He just hopes he can help now that he’s less caught up in his own emotions.

“Yeah, I like school,” Callie starts. “But Papa says he’s not sure this is the right school.”.

Keith’s heart stops in his chest, his eyes widening. “What?”

“He said in my school I have no future,” Callie tells him softly, her lower lip trembling as a new wave of tears fills her big eyes. “He says he could get me into a better one near where he lives.”

“Callie,” Keith says, forcibly keeping his voice steady through the raging fire coursing inside. “Do you want to switch schools?”

“No,” Callie admits softly, shaking her head. Her hair twirls around with the movement, and Keith feels a bang of guilt seeing it. He hadn’t even been able to dress her hair this morning. “All my friends are here, and I like the teachers too. Papa showed me pictures of that other school and everyone was wearing the same clothes, and I like my own clothes better. But he says he knows better because he’s my Papa.”

Keith swallows down a litany of curses. This is not about him. This is about Callie.

“Listen,” Keith says softly, waiting until Callie turns to look at him to continue, “You don’t have to change schools if you don’t want to, okay? This is a good school, I made sure of that when I chose it for you. And I’ll talk to your Papa about all of this, too. You don’t have to worry.”

A cautious smile begins tugging at the corners of Callie’s mouth through her drying tears. “Really?”

“Really. I promise.”

Callie leans sideways forward her seat to hug Keith again. “Thank you, Daddy.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that,” Keith says into her hair, rubbing down her back. “But I want you to always be able to talk to me about things that are bothering you. We can figure them out better together, can’t we?”

“Mm-hmm,” Callie hums, and Keith feels her nod against his shoulder.

He lets out a sigh as he keeps rubbing her back. A huge weight has been lifted off his heart with this talk, but he can’t deny another one has taken its place, even if it’s a little less heavy. He’s really not looking forward to having a conversation with James about this.

…

Shiro feels inspired to work hard even after the challenging letter, putting his phone on mute so he won’t be disturbed, even if the thought of Keith texting him makes his heart and stomach flutter. He manages to avoid the temptation to look at his messages out of love for his job and because every time he blinks, he sees Keith’s smile flash beneath his eyelids, and each word he types, he can still feel the ghost of Keith’s touch on his prosthesis. He falls completely into the flow of his words and thoughts, the rest of the world fading away around him. It’s just him, his column, and the Keith in his mind.

When Shiro finally types in the last word, the office has grown dark around him. He chuckles a little to himself, shaking his head as he finally turns his phone around on the table. He’s a little disappointed to see there are no new messages from Keith, but Shiro reassures himself that he, too, has probably had a busy day at work. Not to mention having to take care of his daughter after his shift. If any of this is going to work, Shiro can’t expect Keith to always be at his beck and call.

He lets out a breath as he makes sure he’s saved his files, logs off his computer and gets out of his chair. He grabs his things and his coat, opening the door to his office and making his way towards the elevators. He blinks when he sees Allura’s unmistakable back standing in front of them, already dressed in her own overcoat and with a briefcase in hand.

“Hey,” he says.

She turns around and gives him a smile. “Hi. Late night?”

“I could say the same thing for you,” Shiro says, but he returns her smile.

“The boss’s work is never done,” she says. “I noticed you had the time to take a long lunch, though.”

Shiro can feel his cheeks flush, but he can’t help the way his smile only widens. “I actually went to eat lunch with Keith.”

Allura’s eyes widen, her own smile taking on an excited, eager tinge. “And?”

“It was really nice,” Shiro admits, a little breathlessly.

Allura beams, and goes so far as to jump to hug him. “See! I told you taking a risk would pay off!”

“Yeah,” Shiro says, giving her a quick squeeze. “Things are pretty complicated still, though. I don’t really know where we stand even now.”

“You’ve taken the first step. That’s what’s most important. I’m sure the rest of it will sort itself out,” Allura says, pulling back from the embrace with a smile. “Hey, how about we go out and have a drink, and you can tell me more?”

Shiro raises an eyebrow. “Drinks on a Monday night?”

“What of it?” Allura says. “We’re not so old yet that we can’t be a little reckless sometimes. Isn’t that what you’ve been trying to do? And it’s also been a while since the two of us have gone out.”

“It has, hasn’t it,” Shiro muses. “Okay. Let’s do it!”

Allura beams at him again, and Shiro lets her pull him inside the elevator by the wrist as it arrives.

…

Keith drives himself and Callie home like normal, playing the music that she likes to let her settle and rest a little from her crying spell. When they make it home, he gives her a glass of juice to replace her lost fluids.

“Once you finish that, go get started with your homework, okay? I’ll come to help you in a moment, but first I’m gonna step outside to call and talk to Papa about all this, alright?” he says.

“Okay,” Callie says softly into the rim of the glass, lowering her eyes. “Do you think…do you think Papa will be really mad?”

“If he is, I’ll make sure he doesn’t stay that way,” Keith says, petting her head. “I’ll make this all okay, Starling. I promise. You don’t have to worry.”

Callie looks up to him over her glass, purple eyes gleaming in the overhead lights, as if searching for the truth in his face. After a while, she nods. “Okay.”

“That’s my girl,” Keith says, leaning down to press a kiss to her head. “I’ll go outside now. If you need me, come get me.”

Callie makes a sound of affirmation into the glass, drinking her juice down. Satisfied, Keith walks over to the front door of their apartment and steps into the hallway. Hopefully she won’t be able to hear too much of what is almost definitely going to be a fight.

He takes in a few stealing breaths, trying to calm his nervous thrumming heart and shaking hands before finding James in his contacts and dialing.

It only takes a few rings before there is a click on the other end, along with James’s voice. _“Well, this is a rare treat, having you call me. To what do I owe the pleasure?”_

Keith takes in another breath, trying to temper the fire threatening to burst out of his lungs and into his words, his nerves alight with fury as soon as he hears those smarmy words. “How dare you try to manipulate Callie into changing her school? She’s six!”

_“I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong,”_ James says, and the fake innocent tone he uses grates on Keith. _“I was simply trying to offer her some options.”_

“That’s not the way she made it sound like,” Keith huffs. “And even if it was, it’s not her you should be talking to, about these things. She’s a kid, she shouldn’t have to worry about things like her future or what school she goes to. That’s up to us. So if you have something to say, you should say it to me, not her.”

_“I think you and I both know you’re not exactly open to my ideas, especially regarding the way you want to raise our daughter,”_ James says, still keeping his cool in the annoying way he has, almost like Keith is the child here. _“Would you really have listened to me if I’d come to you?”_

“Well, now I definitely won’t, ” Keith hisses. “Goodbye, James.”

He ends the call, having said all he needed to say. He’s still shaking, but now it’s with pent up rage. Keith breathes in deep, trying to will his hands to stop trembling. He can’t go back inside like this. He can’t let Callie see him like this.

He needs something to take his mind off it. Something nicer to brighten his evening.

Keith doesn’t even think. He moves as if in a trance, pulling up his messages. He hasn’t had the chance to answer Shiro’s message yet. He might as well do it now, and reminds himself of the better parts of this awful day before it ends. He lets Shiro’s earlier words, the image of him in his mind warm him as he types.

**_Keith:_ ** _how about lunch again this week? maybe we can meet halfway like we talked about? Callie is with me this weekend, so I don’t think I’ll have a lot of free time._

He hesitates for a while, wondering if he should just leave it there. There’s no reason for him to ruin Shiro’s night with his problems too.

But it’s Shiro, who said he was glad they could be honest with each other, even and perhaps especially about the difficult topics. And Keith has never really had the chance to talk about anything that goes on between him and James to any of his friends, aside from the surface level stuff. Keith has always tried to avoid saying anything about it. He’s not even sure why; he just knows he’s ashamed. He hates the effect James has on him, hates how he always feels so weak and vulnerable with him. And he can’t bring himself to explain all of that to his friends, knowing they already don’t like the fact that James is a part of his and Callie’s lives at all. He’s not sure they would understand why he needs to be; why Keith still lets him be there, and he’s not really eager to start explaining when all he wants to do is rant.

But Shiro’s presence is still new in his life. He doesn’t have the same reservations that Hunk and Pidge do about James, even if he knows some things. And Keith’s sure he’s seen stranger, worse situations with people trying to make things work. He… Keith has a feeling he might actually understand.

He starts typing.

**_Keith:_ ** _my ex is being a total ass btw. apparently, he’s been trying to make Callie see the upsides of going to a private school. without even talking to me of course. that’s why Callie was so mad this morning._

He lets out one more deep breath as he sends the message. But strangely, he feels lighter having sent it. It feels good to share, even just a little. Still, before Keith goes back inside the apartment, he turns his phone on silent. He needs to focus on his daughter for now and not be distracted. They need to be able to spend some time together after a weekend apart, and everything else that has happened in the past twenty-four hours.

…

Shiro’s phone pings with a new message while he and Allura are making their way down in the elevator, chatting about where they might like to go on their bar crawl. He jumps a little, and his hand is already starting to reach for his phone when he stops himself. He’s with a friend and it might be rude to look at his phone now.

Allura gives his still arm, left bent at an awkward, obvious angle, a look. She grants him a playful, teasing smile. “You can look at your phone. I don’t mind.”

“You sure?” Shiro says, letting his arm drop to his side.

“Yes, I’m sure,” she says. “Honestly, I’m just as curious to see what your man texted. I mean, it _is_ him, right?”

“I’m assuming,” Shiro says, feeling his cheeks flush. “But he’s not ‘my man.’”

“Not yet,” Allura says, grinning cheekily. Shiro’s phone pings again with another message. “See? He’s getting impatient already. You better not keep him waiting.”

“Okay, okay,” Shiro says, but can’t help the grin that spread over his face as he takes out his phone. Allura leans over his shoulder to read the message too.

“See?” she says, smiling. “He wants to see you again!”

Shiro lets out a soft chuckle, before scrolling down to view the second message. His smile drops immediately and he hides the phone screen against his chest.

Allura’s smile turns into a frown at the look on his face too. “What is it?”

“Nothing serious,” Shiro reassures her. “I just don’t think he’d want you to see this. I believe he told it to me in confidence.”

“Oh,” Allura says, her frown softening into a more neutral expression. “That’s alright, I won’t look.”

As if to prove her point, she turns away.

“Thank you,” Shiro says fondly as he reads the second message more properly, and begins typing out his replies.

**_Shiro:_ ** _I’d love to have lunch again. You can pick the place this time since I picked today, and you can choose the day too :)._

**_Shiro:_ ** _I’m sorry about your ex :(. I hope it hasn’t been too stressful for you or Callie. Let me know if there’s anything I can do. I’m going out for drinks with my friend Allura, but I’ll have my phone on me all night._

…

Keith and Callie work on her homework together and afterwards make and eat dinner together. Callie tells him about her day at school, what she learned and what she did with her friends. Her lively chatter is the sweetest music to Keith’s ears and she seems a lot happier than before. Despite the shadow of James and his actions hanging over Keith, he too, feels lighter seeing her happy like that. He’s glad to finally be able to spend some proper time with her and really patch up any wounds that may remain between them.

After they’ve finished their dinner, Keith and Callie change into their pajamas for common comfort and settle down to cuddle on the couch to watch one of the cartoon shows she likes. Keith holds her close, stroking her hair as he lets himself relax and be swept away by the show, which he has come to enjoy quite a bit. It’s quite different to the cartoons he used to watch as a kid, but he thinks that might be a good thing. He hadn’t had much to choose from when he was Callie’s age and even a little older, but she does, and she actually has some standards and taste. Keith’s glad and proud for it.

Still, when they eventually reach an episode they’ve already seen but Callie wants to watch anyway, Keith feels like he can let his attention slip a little. He takes out his phone, noticing Shiro’s new texts. Warmth floods through his core as he reads over Shiro’s gentle, supportive words. It’s strange how something that small can mean so much. He quickly types out a response.

**_Keith:_ ** _how about thursday for lunch? is there anything in particular you don’t like to/can’t eat aside from milk? I have a place I mind but be warned that it’s alien food ;)._

**_Keith:_ ** _thanks for saying that. just talking about it helps a little. Hunk and Pidge are great but I sometimes feel like they’re judging me when I want to shit talk James. I know they’re just worried about him being in our lives at all, but stil :/._

**_Keith:_ ** _me and Callie are fine now. we’ve made up and I think I made it clear to James that he needs to talk to me about things like this and not her. I hope you have a good time with your friend!_

“Daddy!” Callie’s voice calls, snapping Keith out of his musings. “You’re missing the show!”

“Sorry,” Keith says, quickly turning his phone off again. He pulls Callie a bit closer to his body on the couch. “I’ll pay attention now.”

…

Allura and Shiro make their way to a pub not too far away, one that they used to frequent often during their time as students. Aside from alcohol, they serve food and the two of them order a round of mini burgers, fries and onion rings to share, plus a milkshake for Allura with their beer and shots.

Shiro smiles seeing her start to eagerly drink the cold sweet treat. “Nice to see you have gotten over your aversion for dairy.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Allura says, making a face. “I might not be able to finish this if I keep thinking about where it comes from.”

“Still,” Shiro says, popping a fry into his mouth. “It’s good that you’re not letting that stop you from consuming your beloved ice cream. You used to love it so much.”

Allura smiles softly down at her glass, her cheeks flushing. “It’s thanks to Lance.”

Shiro smiles with a hum. He remembers when Allura and Lance started dating, he took her out for milkshakes on their first date, apparently having heard through the grapevine that she liked them. He just hadn’t heard she hadn’t had them for a while because the idea that it came from a cow’s udder was too strange to her. But, rather sweetly, Allura hadn’t wanted to make him feel bad, given how hard he was trying to impress her, so she’d consumed her milkshake, and at the same time remembered how much she used to like them.

“We should all go out sometime,” Shiro says. “I haven’t seen the two of you together for a while. I need to keep an eye out.”

“That’d be nice.” Allura grins. “Hey, maybe if you start dating your Keith, we can go on double-dates. Or triple, if we can make Hunk and Pidge take some time off their busy schedules.”

Shiro blushes, but smiles, biting a piece off an onion ring. “Maybe.”

They both concentrate on eating for a bit, the chatter of other customers and the music of the holiday season playing on the radio filling Shiro’s ears.

“Holidays are coming up, huh,” he muses.

“Yes,” Allura says, finishing her milkshake and tossing back a quick shot. “Do you have any plans?”

“Nothing concrete yet,” Shiro says. “We’ll see. I might spend it with the Holts again if they’ll have me. It’d be nice if Matt could come home for Hanukkah too.”

“I might go home for the break,” Allura says. “I haven’t been back to Altea for a while.”

“Yeah,” Shiro says. “Are you going to ask Lance to join you?”

“I’d like to,” Allura admits. “But he seems nervous about meeting my parents, and he’s been so excited about going home for Christmas. We don’t even celebrate the holiday season on Altea, so I understand he’d miss the traditions, but…”

Shiro places a comforting hand on her shoulder. “You should talk to him. You’ve met his family. I think it’s about time he does the same for you. And you need to be able to make compromises like this and make your own traditions and life together if this is going to last.”

“I know,” Allura sighs. “I just also know Lance is a bit insecure about everything between us. He even told me. I don’t want to hurt him, but I also know I can’t always be the one who gives in.”

Shiro knows she’s learned that the hard way. “That’s right,” he says. “And honestly, his insecurities are an issue he needs to solve within himself. You can only do so much. I know he makes you happy, but if you want this to work, you two need to learn to really work together.”

Allura nods softly, licking her lips. She looks up, giving Shiro a soft smile. “I’ll talk to him when I can.”

Shiro smiles back. “Good.”

“I’m going to get us the next round,” Allura says, starting to shuffle her way out of the booth.

“Bring me a coke and rum, please,” Shiro says.

“Sure,” Allura says over her shoulder, heading over to the bar.

Once she starts talking to the barkeep, Shiro takes the opportunity to take out his phone and check his messages. There are a few new ones from Keith and he types back quick replies.

**_Shiro:_ ** _Thursday is fine for me. And I’d be happy to try alien food; in college I used to eat it all the time and I’d like to think I’m not so old yet that I can’t do so again ;)._

**_Shiro:_ ** _I’m glad I could help. If you ever need to rant, my ears are open for you :). I’m glad you’re doing well._

…

After a few episodes of cartoons, Callie nods off and falls asleep leaning against Keith. He smiles at the sweet sight of her so relaxed, before he turns the TV off and gently lifts her up into his arms. It’s a jab to his heart when he realizes just how much she’s grown since he used to carry her around as a baby. Although he has held her up in his arms since then, she’s usually not limp like this and so heavy. She really is growing up so fast.

Keith carries his daughter to her bedroom, untucking her blankets and gently putting her in. He figures he can let the fact she hasn’t brushed her teeth slide for one night. He presses a kiss to her forehead, smoothing her hair a little, before making sure her night light is on and tiptoeing out of the rom to let her sleep.

He heads over to the bathroom to quickly wash his face and brush his own teeth. He does a round around the apartment, making sure the door is locked and the lights are off, grabbing his phone off the couch. Keith goes to his own bed, tucking himself in, before he unlocks his phone one more time before he’ll go to sleep.

**_Keith:_ ** _well, I’m glad that even an old timer like you can at least relearn old tricks then ;). don’t worry, there’s lactose free food at Sal’s; I wouldn’t eat there myself if there wasn’t._

**_Keith:_ ** _I’ll keep that in mind. thanks, Shiro. you’re a good friend. goodnight._

Keith makes sure that his alarm is set for tomorrow, hoping that the morning waiting for him won’t be as difficult as this morning was. He places his phone on his nightstand and turns off the light.

He sleeps easy with dreams of kind smiles and warm, big hands.


	6. Chapter 6

Days pass and Shiro and Keith keep texting each other. It becomes something that happens at least once a day. Shiro tells Keith about his work at Oriande, sends him pictures of his particularly good lunches from the new places he tries as well as those from nature that he thinks Keith might appreciate. Such as one particularly deep orange and purple November sunset over the city during one of Shiro’s runs. In return, Shiro gets to read funny anecdotes about Keith’s past and present patients; the homework he is working on with his daughter, about the cartoons that they watch together. Shiro gets this kind of minimal viewership into Keith’s world and his daily life, and it makes his heart grow warm with affection.

As promised, the two of them also meet at the diner known as Sal’s that Keith picked out for them to have lunch at on Thursday. It is just as great as their lunch on Monday, Shiro trying out some of his old favorite Galra foods and a few new ones that they share.

For now, though, he and Keith keep their talks to lighter, more current topics and barely touch on the past for either one of them. Keith still doesn’t push Shiro to talk and Shiro doesn’t feel the pressure to do so either. But the more time he spends with Keith and talking to him, the more he thinks he might actually want to. It’s just a matter of time.

Shiro hates how fast this amazing week has to come to an end. He knows most people see the arrival of the weekend as a relief, something to look forward to, but for him it’s always been a mixed bag at best. On Friday, Shiro says his goodbyes to Allura, who is going out of town for a conference for over a week, before starting to make his way home. The city is dark around him, the streetlights not doing much to help him see. He worked late, wanting to have at least as short a weekend as he could make it.

Shiro lets out a long breath in a visible puff in the cold. When did his life become so sad?

He shakes his head. He knows Keith is going to be spending the weekend with his daughter and Allura is out, but he hasn’t even asked anyone else. Hasn’t even thought about it, not wanting to be rejected. But if he’s trying to be braver and take more risks, maybe he should. The worst his friends can do is say they can’t hang out. It wouldn’t leave him any worse than he already is.

Shiro takes out his phone, slipping his thumbs out of his gloves to type messages to his remaining friends in Marlton. Matt might be able to Skype, but Shiro wants to ask if anyone can physically see him before he resorts to asking him.

**_Shiro:_ ** _What are you doing this weekend?_

Two answers fly in quickly.

**_Katie:_ ** _workin on my thesis and bbq with fam. y?_

**_Hunk:_ ** _Finishing up designs for the current project and going to a barbecue at the Holts. I could probably meet up at some point if you wanna?_

Shiro’s heart leaps with joy, his mouth spread into a wide grin. He decides to reply to Hunk first.

**_Shiro:_ ** _That’d be nice. What did you have in mind?_

**_Hunk:_ ** _How about laser tag? We haven’t been in a while. I could bring Lance too if you don’t mind? He’s a bit lonely with Allura out of town._

**_Shiro:_ ** _Sure, the more the merrier. Sunday?_

**_Hunk:_ ** _Sounds good! :D._

Shiro smiles, but before he can so much as switch over to text Katie back, she beats him to it with another message.

**_Katie:_ ** _y don’t u come to bbq at ours on sat? im sure mom and dad would luv to c u :)._

Shiro blinks at the sudden invitation.

**_Shiro:_ ** _Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude if it’s a family thing._

**_Katie:_ ** _its fine!! I think there’ll be other guests too. come along, 5 o’clock?_

Shiro licks his lips in thought. It’s not like he has anything better to do Saturday, and he has to admit a homemade barbeque dinner does sound nice. Otherwise he’ll just be eating out or ordering in again anyway. Not to mention that it would be a great opportunity to see Hunk and Katie both at the same time for once, and Katie’s parents Sam and Colleen. Shiro can’t even remember the last time he saw them. It’s probably more than time for him to pay them a visit again.

**_Shiro:_ ** _Sure. Count me in :)._

**_Katie:_ ** _cool! c u there!!_

…

Although Keith does his best not to neglect spending time with Callie during the week too much, there are only so many hours in the day and they both need to go to sleep early. Therefore, ever since Callie was little, Keith has taken it upon himself to dedicate as much of the weekend as he can to spending time together. Even when he was still juggling school and work, Keith always made sure to have at least a few hours every weekend that he could spend with his daughter doing things that she likes to do. Now, of course, things are slowly changing because sometimes Callie wants to hang out with a friend instead of her Dad. That and the weekends she spends with James only makes Keith want to cherish whatever time they have together even more.

Keith can’t offer Callie the luxurious, adventurous life James can, but he likes to think he knows her better. No matter what James can offer her, Keith is still her primary parent and guardian. He knows what she likes to do and how to keep her happy with what he can offer. He doesn’t need to live in a fancy big house, or buy her expensive clothes or toys. The important thing is to listen and encourage her with whatever she wants to do. What matters is the time they spend together, not how much it costs to spend that time.

It’s what he repeats to himself as he takes Callie grocery shopping on Friday the way they always do, and buys them their usual spoils of candy, chips and soda that they consume as they watch a streamed movie Callie has chosen afterwards. She’s chosen the same movie three times in a row, but Keith doesn’t let himself be bothered by it, just happy to see the way her eyes shine at her favorite parts, as he makes himself feel vaguely nauseous with the amount of candy he eats.

On Saturday morning, Keith makes them omelets with chicken bits and bell pepper pieces to compensate for the sweets and the unhealthiness of the previous night. Since the weather is nice, they decide to go out. Sometimes they go to the playground, sometimes biking or to play outdoor games in the backyard of their building. Today, though, they do what Callie likes to do the most.

Namely, go to the skate park.

About a year ago, during her allowed time online, Callie had come across some clips of daredevils performing tricks and stunts on their skateboards. Her eyes had lit up and her mouth had fallen open in awe. She’d looked at Keith with big, pleading eyes and asked to be allowed to learn how to skate herself.

What she didn’t know was just how happy Keith was to teach her. He’d always known it was probably only a matter of time before Callie was drawn towards doing something fast and a little dangerous, chasing that adrenaline rush that Keith is pretty sure has driven both himself and his Dad. Keith can still remember the way his Dad would let him ride with him on his hoverbike, and even let him hold the handlebars to give him the illusion he was driving. He remembered how the wind felt, blowing against him. The open red desert spreading before him and how he’d never felt so alive or so free.

Since he had still been much too little to actually drive the hoverbike or any other vehicle, his Dad had signed Keith up for skateboarding lessons instead. Turned out Keith was a natural at it too, with a good balance for his age, and although he couldn’t go as fast as on the hoverbike, Keith had still felt that same rush of being on a skateboard. He’d kept doing it right up until his Dad had died. His grief, and foster families didn’t leave much room for continuing after.

But like most things in Keith’s life, he’s been able to find the sweetness of his old hobby again through his daughter. Skateboarding might be considered old school by now – it kind of was even when Keith was little, but growing up in a rural town with a single parent had made hoverboarding nearly impossible – but Callie loves it, and Keith is glad for it. He’s happy to pass down what he can remember to his daughter, and a piece of the Grandpa she never got to meet with it. It is something that is theirs to share and bond over. And truthfully, Keith is relieved that his daughter is a bit old school in this hobby of hers, too. Her feet are literally more on the ground and she doesn’t even seem to be dreaming of hoverboards, finding the wheeled boards and their tricks much cooler.

Keith has to agree, having been able to relearn some of his old tricks again so he could teach them to his daughter, and a few new ones, too. Now that she’s a bit older and more coordinated in her movements, Keith has been able to start teaching her some more advanced tricks, too, and it makes everything all the more interesting and fun.

They work on one of her tricks for a few hours in the cold autumn air, working up quite an appetite in the process. It is a good thing they were invited to join a barbeque dinner at the Holt house, even if it was last minute. He’s never opposed to not having to cook, and he knows Callie has also been missing her extended family. Keith can’t deny he’s also happy for the opportunity to see his friends, and Sam and Colleen again as well.

A little sweaty from their day out, Keith and Callie make a quick stop at their apartment to tidy themselves up and change their clothes, before heading to the suburbs where Pidge’s parents reside in a nice upper middle-class neighborhood. On the ride over the two of them play and sing along to Disney soundtracks, which Keith is glad for, since the noise helps mask how often his stomach seems to growl with hunger. The idea of a lot of processed meat and the artificially heated, eternally summery backyard of the Holts feel more and more tempting with each mile they pass. 

Keith lets out a short sigh of relief when the Holts’ house comes in view. He raises an eyebrow at the sight of a hoverbike he doesn’t recognize parked in the driveway. He’s pretty sure he’s never seen it before, and he tends to remember vehicles a lot better than he does people. And he’s fairly certain he’d recall this particular one; a beautiful vintage model that achingly reminds him of his Dad’s old bike.

He can’t keep his eyes off the bike even as he parks beside it in the driveway. He gets out of the car, and helps Callie out before taking her hand and leading her into the house.

It’s only when they’re at the door that he looks away, and down at his daughter. “Wanna ring the doorbell?”

“Yeah!” she says with a big smile, and immediately reaches up to press the little button by the door, releasing a musical sound muffled by the walls.

It doesn’t take long for Colleen Holt to open the door, her kind familiar face twisting into an immediate warm smile at the sight of them. “Keith, Callie, we’re so happy you could make it.”

“Thank you for having us,” Keith says, returning her smile.

“Hi, Granny!” Callie says, stepping forward to wrap her small arms around Colleen’s waist.

“Hello, my little Violet,” Colleen says, leaning down a bit to properly hug Callie. After a few moments, she puts her arms beneath Callie’s legs to lift her up into her arms to hold. She settles easily against Colleen, pressing her head on her shoulder to rest.

“Come in,” Colleen says, stepping out of Keith’s way and heading inside, looking at him over her shoulder. “Everyone else is already here.”

“Yeah, speaking of which,” Keith stars as he follows her inside. “Who does that bike outside-?”

Before he can say anything more or step any further, he’s frozen in his tracks by the sight of a man’s face peeking into the hallway from the living room with wide eyes. It’s a familiar, handsome, inviting face, but definitely not one of the ones Keith was expecting to see today.

“Shiro?”

…

“Keith?” Shiro gasps out. He blinks, but the beautiful man before him doesn’t disappear. He’s not an illusion. He’s really here. “I…I thought I heard your voice. What are you doing here?”

“P-Pidge invited us for dinner,” Keith says, sounding as shocked as Shiro feels. He glances to his right. Shiro’s eyes follow him to Colleen, who is holding a little girl in her arms whom Shiro recognizes from Keith’s Instagram. Callie really does look remarkably like Keith, especially the purple eyes which she uses to give Shiro a suspicious look.

“I hadn’t realized you two knew each other,” Colleen says kindly. “Though I suppose with such a tight group of friends, it was only a matter of time.”

Before Shiro can begin to explain, Callie asks, “Who are you?”

Shiro lowers his gaze from Colleen’s face down to the little girl in her arms. Her look of suspicion has transformed into one of near disdain, her eyes narrowed and her mouth in a frown. Even with her cute pigtails with butterflies sticking out at the roots from her hair ties, with the expression she has on, she looks very different from the smiling, happy little girl Shiro has seen in Keith’s pictures.

“Callie, this is Shiro,” Keith steps in to explain, his voice gentle and accommodating. It’s similar to the one he uses when he talks about his daughter to Shiro, but _more_. Hearing it does funny things to Shiro’s stomach. “He’s Daddy’s new friend.”

Before anyone can say anything more, Hunk steps past Shiro from the living room, immediately honing in on Callie with a big smile and open arms. “There’s my goddaughter!”

“Uncle Hunk!” Callie cheers, her expression immediately changing into one of joy, her eyes sparkling and her mouth open in a grin. One of her upper teeth is missing, but otherwise she smiles exactly like Keith when he’s happy.

Callie reaches out her arms towards Hunk, and Colleen is quick to hand her over. “I should go check up on my husband.”

She passes by Shiro towards the living room. Shiro watches over his shoulder as she passes through the room to the door at the other end to the backyard.

“Nice to see you, big girl,” Shiro hears Hunk coo at Callie, turning just in time to see them press their foreheads together affectionately. “Have you had a good day?”

“Yeah! Me and Daddy went to the skate park and I learned a new trick!” Callie chirps.

“Really?” Hunk says, beginning to walk back towards the living room, bypassing Shiro again. “Tell me more.”

Shiro swallows, feeling Keith’s eyes on him, and knowing they’re alone for now as he hears Katie also greet Callie happily. He slowly turns to meet his eyes from across the small hallway space, his heart pounding in his chest. But as soon as his gaze meets Keith’s, everything feels a little lighter, a little brighter. Shiro can’t help but smile a little sheepishly, and to his joy, Keith returns it, shaking his head.

“I’m really sorry about ambushing you like this,” Shiro says, stepping a bit closer to Keith so they’re out of sight of the people in the living room and so they can talk in more hushed voices. “I had no idea you were coming today.”

“I have a feeling we’re being set up, honestly,” Keith says, making a side-eyed glance towards the living room. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Yeah…” Shiro mumbles. That would explain Katie’s sudden invitation.

Keith gives him a sheepish smile. “Really, Shiro, it’s fine. I was just a little startled. I’m not mad.” His eyes narrow. “At you, anyway.”

Shiro snorts, hanging his head. “Well, thank God for that,” he says. “Though I am still sorry. I know this is a lot more complicated for you than it is for me.”

Keith’s expression softens into another smile, this one gentler and smaller. “Thanks,” he says. “It _is_ a bit strange. I haven’t really had to introduce Callie to any new people since James came back into our lives. You saw her before. She’s unfortunately probably going to be like that with you for a while.” 

“That’s okay. I get it,” Shiro says, again stepping a bit closer. Coming into Keith’s space to be able to place his left hand on his shoulder, smiling down at him gently. “I won’t make a nuisance of myself to you here.”

“You’re not a nuisance in any way,” Keith says, meeting Shiro’s eyes softly. “Honestly…I’m glad to see you. It’s nice that we could spend some more time together.”

“Yeah,” Shiro says softly, his eyes searching for the star patterns in Keith’s eyes. “It is.”

It is almost through sheer instinct that Shiro leans forward a bit, to the point that his forehead touches Keith’s. With the touch, his hand still on Keith’s shoulder, he can feel Keith suck in a breath as he grows tense beneath Shiro, but he doesn’t move or push him away. They’re so close that Shiro can feel his warmth and smell his breath, can count every single one of his long eyelashes. How easy it would be to just…

Before Shiro can so much as finish that thought, Keith’s eyes look downwards and to his side. He sucks in a sudden breath, tensing up again before he puts a hand on Shiro’s chest and pushes himself away, not meeting Shiro’s eyes.

“Keith, sorry, I…” Shiro starts, his heart beating a panicked rabbit tone, terrified he’s read this wrong. His eyes follow to see what Keith is looking at. He catches a glimpse of gleaming glasses, but they’re gone before he can get a better look. But he knows what, or rather who, Keith saw that startled him.

“N-no, you don’t have to be sorry,” Keith says, his voice sounding hoarse. “Pidge just…”

“Yeah,” Shiro cuts in, his heart hammering in his chest. “You don’t have to explain.”

“…We should probably…” Keith murmurs.

“Yeah,” Shiro says again. “It’s probably for the best.”

He stands still, watching as Keith walks past him, still not looking at him, through the living room door, and tries not to feel like his heart is cracking.

…

Keith’s cheeks are flaming and his heart hammering as he makes his way through the Holts’ living room, refusing to look in Pidge and Hunk’s direction after the humiliation he’s just suffered. He can’t believe Pidge would manipulate them like this. Setting him and Shiro up for their first meeting was one thing; at least then both of them somewhat knew what they were getting into. But this was basically an ambush. He may have truly been happy to see Shiro, but he doesn’t appreciate being made into a spectacle just so Pidge can prove some point about being right.

He can’t believe he let himself get so carried away. He and Shiro almost…

Keith shakes his head. The best thing he can do now is not to dwell on it, and stay clear of Shiro until he can get his heart under control again. He can’t keep thinking about Shiro’s warmth or how gently he looked at Keith, his forehead pressing against his own, how his breath tickled Keith’s nose. He and Keith are just friends. Just friends.

Keith ignores Pidge and Hunk’s voices calling him as he passes them. He doesn’t think Hunk has anything to do with this, and Keith is grateful that he’s still got Callie so Keith doesn’t have to worry about her but right now he just can’t look at or talk to either one of them. He’s sure his emotions are plain to see on his face and he can’t make himself justify and explain them right now. He needs to breathe and sort his head out first.

The door to the backyard beyond the living room is open, and Keith steps through it to the artificial warmth imitating a nice summer day. Sam and Colleen are chatting by the grill, Sam dressed up in an apron and waving a spatula as the food cooks.

“Keith,” Sam says, turning to smile towards him. “I’m glad you could make it.”

“Thanks for letting us come,” Keith says, starting to open up his coat, the warmth of the outdoors more than enough for him here.

“Of course. We’re always happy to see you and Callie,” Sam says.

Keith huffs. “Well, somehow I don’t think your daughter’s motives were quite as pure when she invited us.”

Colleen purses her lips. “What did Katie do now? I’m assuming it has something to do with Shiro.”

“This was a set-up so we’d be in the same place,” Keith snaps. “Even though she knew I’d be coming with Callie.”

“Do you not like Shiro?” Sam asks, raising an eyebrow. “I didn’t even realize you two knew each other.”

“There’s nothing wrong with Shiro,” Keith says. “I just wasn’t planning to have him meet Callie yet. We haven’t known each other for that long.” He pauses. “Speaking of which, please don’t ask about how we met with people around. I don’t want to explain that to Callie yet either.”

“Can we ask how you met now, then?” Colleen asks, and although her voice is kind, Keith can see the curious glint in her eye that reminds him all too much of her daughter.

Keith swallows, taking in a steadying breath. “Your daughter and Hunk set us up on a blind date.”

Sam and Colleen turn to give each other looks, ones that Keith can never quite read; but that after several years of marriage seem to be enough for the two of them to communicate silently.

“My stars,” Sam breathes out, breaking into a smile. “Why didn’t we think of that?”

“You two would make a wonderful couple,” Colleen agrees, turning to direct her own smile at Keith.

“So everyone keeps insisting,” Keith huffs, crossing his arms.

“What’s wrong?” Sam asks. “You just said you don’t mind Shiro.”

“I don’t,” Keith says. “Shiro’s a great guy and he’s been a good new friend to me, but I don’t think either of us is really ready for a relationship.”

He hopes if he says the words out loud enough times, they will start to feel more true. So far it doesn’t seem to be working.

“Well,” Sam says. “If you’re sure. But just so you know, as long as I’ve known Shiro, I’ve always found him to be quite decent. And I’ve known him for a long time.”

“I’m sure he is. Hell, I’ve only known him for about a week and I already _know_ he is,” Keith says. “But things are just too complicated right now. And your daughter just made them more so by mixing Callie into all of it. Friends or anything else, this is not a long enough time to know someone, to introduce them to my child.”

“Katie means well,” Sam says, his expression mellow and kind. “Though I admit her methods could use some work.”

“I can talk to her for you later,” Colleen says. “I’ll make her listen.”

Keith suppresses a shiver. He has no doubt that she will. Colleen may look like a gentle, harmless woman, but there is a storm inside her that mostly comes out to protect those she considers family. Whether it be from them not taking proper care of themselves, when someone is doing something to hurt them, or when they themselves are doing something wrong. Keith briefly considers if setting Colleen on Pidge is too bad a punishment, but then he remembers all the times Pidge has thrown her Mom at _him_ ; like when he wasn’t taking the time to sleep or eat because he was busy with everything that was happening around him. And he really doesn’t want to deal with her, and her mistakes by himself today.

He licks his lips. “I’d appreciate that, Colleen.”

Her smile takes on a dangerous edge. “Then I shall. You just relax and enjoy yourself.”

“Dinner is almost done,” Sam says. “Why don’t you take a seat. I’ll give you the first plate. Sounds like you need it.”

Keith sighs in gratitude. “Thank you.”

…

Shiro takes a few moments to gather himself, watching Keith pass through the living room and to the open backyard to give him some space, before he walks into the living room. He doesn’t really look at Hunk or Katie or Callie still in Hunk’s arms, his own anger now starting to burn in the pit of his stomach, as his sadness fades.

Shiro plops himself down in one of the armchairs in the living room, his breath punched out of him, rubbing his temples with his hand. He glares in Katie’s direction from below his brows. “Well, you’ve certainly done it now.”

“Uhh…” Hunk murmurs, snapping to look down at the little girl sitting on his lap. “Hey, Callie, why don’t we go check out Aunt Pidge’s old room, huh? Who knows what kinds of interesting things she might have there?”

“Yeah!” Callie chirps. Before she can even finish the word, Hunk has risen from his seat and hurried them out of the room, his footsteps echoing on the stairs.

Shiro does feel a little bad. Callie is probably confused about what is going on and Shiro has no right to explain it to her. He’s just grateful Hunk seems to know what to do, clearly adoring her and being great with her. Shiro supposes it’s natural, since Hunk comes from a big family and has been around children of various ages all his life.

As soon as Hunk and Callie are out of earshot, Katie leans forward to talk to Shiro. “You and Keith looked pretty cozy earlier,” she says. “and you have to admit that wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t invited you both here.”

“Maybe, but you’ve also made things unnecessarily complicated, way too fast,” Shiro huffs. “Keith was clearly not prepared for me to meet his daughter yet.”

“It’s best to just get that out of the way.” Katie shrugs. “Keith always uses Cal as an excuse to not let people in. At least this way, he can see that she’s not the obstacle he thinks she is to his dating life.”

“That wasn’t your call to make, Katie,” Shiro hisses.

“He wanted to see you. I know he did,” Katie insists, her voice growing a bit high. The way it generally does when she’s not getting her way or feels like someone doesn’t see her point of view on something. It has always made Shiro feel like her second big brother, but it’s also stopped having any sort of power on him years ago. “He couldn’t see you because he’s got Cal this weekend. But this way, I thought you could meet in a neutral environment and spend some time together. And as you can see, it’s a lot less pressure on meeting Cal too, since she’s got everyone else to entertain her.”

“Still,” Shiro says, standing up from his chair with a huff. “You should’ve known better.”

He finds himself walking back to the hallway and then to the empty kitchen for the lack of a better place to be. He can vaguely hear Hunk and Callie’s voices upstairs, and grumbling, he almost wishes they find Katie’s diary or something equally embarrassing. He’ll probably feel bad about thinking that later, but right now he’s just too angry for regrets.

The sound of Callie’s childish giggles eases the flames in Shiro’s stomach a little, though. It’s good to know that Shiro’s presence hasn’t completely ruined her day. It’s amazing how fast children can move on from certain things, really. More than once, Shiro wishes he could do the same.

He doesn’t even really realize it when he starts moving, until he’s making his way upstairs, following that bright young voice like it’s a beacon of light. Shiro barely thinks as he stops at the door to Katie’s old room, left slightly ajar for him to peer through. Inside, he can see Hunk and Callie playing with legos, and he feels himself settle watching them be at ease and happy. He hopes he’s not being creepy by doing this, but he just needs something to focus on right now. Something that will make him feel a little less like this whole evening is already ruined.

Hunk looks up, turning around to meet his eyes through the crack in the door. Shiro jumps a little, but Hunk just puts a finger to his mouth, before turning to Callie, putting his hand on her shoulder. “I’ll be right back okay? You can keep playing, Uncle Hunk just needs a quick pee break.”

“Okay,” Callie hums, not even taking her eyes off the little blocks in her hands.

Hunk gets to his feet, silently stepping over to the door and slipping through it, closing it behind him. He silently gestures Shiro to follow him with a move of his finger, and Shiro lets him lead him to the other side of the hallway to the master bedroom.

“I’m sorry, man,” Hunk says once he seems sure of their privacy. “By the time I figured out what was going on, it was too late for me to stop it.”

“It’s okay,” Shiro says, waving him off. “You’ve at least been helping with the damage control. I’m sure Keith appreciates that.” He gives Hunk a smile, softer and sadder than he intends it, but it’s all he can manage right now. “You and Callie seem pretty close.”

“Yeah, she’s my best girl. Don’t tell Pidge,” Hunk says with a grin. “I’ve been around her since she was in Keith’s belly, and I’ve done my best to be there since. I think almost everyone under this roof has been involved in bringing her up, really. Keith wouldn’t have admitted it back then – he honestly barely admits it now – but he really needed help at the time. So we’ve all stepped in when he’s needed us to.”

“He’s told me,” Shiro says. “I’m really glad he’s had a friend like you in his life, Hunk.”

Hunk’s cheeks flush a little, but he smiles. Shiro smiles too. Hunk has come a long way from the uncertain young man he was when Shiro first met him.

“I know it sounds like I do a lot for Keith, but he’s done a bunch for me, too,” Hunk says. “He’s very honest, to the point of being blunt, and it’s nice to have someone like that around sometimes. Someone who just doesn’t have it in him to lie. It makes it easier to believe him when he says nice things or when he has faith in you. And he’s surprisingly good at giving advice.”

Hunk shrugs. “He’s encouraged me a lot and helped me to be brave, and to pursue my dreams. Like, when I was finishing up my undergrad, he’s the one who told me to pursue my master’s.”

Shiro raises an eyebrow. “I didn’t know that.”

“I had a lot of paths opening up before me back then,” Hunk says. “I could’ve just graduated and gotten a nice but ultimately unchallenging job. Maybe I could’ve opened my own restaurant or bakery, I considered that for a while. I wasn’t sure how much more student debt I wanted to put on myself. Lance’s not very good at giving advice, and as much as I love Pidge, I wasn’t sure how much of what I was going through she would understand. Or if she’d be able to look at it from my perspective, rather than just what she wanted me to do.”

“I think that’s fair, given what happened today, too,” Shiro muses.

“Yeah,” Hunk snorts. “Anyway, I went to talk to Keith about it instead because I knew he’d give it to me straight. He was just finishing up nursing school back then so we were kind of in the same boat. I can still remember what he said to me, word for word.”

Shiro raises an eyebrow. “What did he say?”

“’Hunk, I can’t tell you what to do, but you’re really stupid for someone so smart if you think you’ll be satisfied with not challenging yourself.’”

Shiro snorts out a laugh. “Oh my god, I can hear his voice.”

Hunk chuckles. “Then he basically said to me that he would hate to see me waste my potential. I had helped him believe in himself and pursue his dreams and goals, so I shouldn’t let fear stop me from doing the same when I hadn’t let it stop Keith either.”

Shiro can’t help the way his face melts into a soft smile, his heart feeling gooey and warm, like hot chocolate.

“So yeah, he’s a good friend to me too,” Hunk says. “He’s just been given a bad hand in life. But after he got just a bit of a push to help himself, he’s been able to help those around him, too. Guess that’s what makes him a great nurse.”

Shiro raises an eyebrow, searching Hunk’s face. “…Are you trying to insinuate something?”

Hunk chuckles. “Maybe, a little. I just mean, I know Pidge made some mistakes today, but try and forgive her, okay? She just wants you guys to be happy, and so do I.” His lips twist into a small smirk. “No offence, Shiro, but it doesn’t seem like there is just pure platonic friendship between you and Keith. I’m pretty sure I’ve never stood so close to Lance, the way you two were before. Just saying.”

Shiro can feel himself blush. He quickly clears his throat, lowering his eyes. “I…I admit I do care about him. He’s a good person, and I feel…calm around him. Brave in a way I haven’t in a long time. But also…”

“Scared.” Hunk nods. “I get it, man. But remember what you used to say? ‘If you get too worried about what could go wrong…’”

“’You might miss a chance to do something great,’” Shiro says, nodding to himself. The phrase feels more appropriate than ever, knowing he’s in the house of the man who first said it to him, and given what Hunk just told him about Keith.

As if reading his mind, Hunk says, “I’m just saying, man. Keith helped me be brave. I’m pretty sure he can help you be brave to. Be _great_.”

Shiro can feel his blush deepen. “I’ll…I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good,” Hunk says with another, firm nod. “Anyway, I should go, before Callie wonders if the toilet monster got me.”

Shiro’s not even going to touch on that one. “Y-yeah…you go on. I’ll see you later?”

“Later!” Hunk calls, heading out of the room and leaving Shiro alone with his thoughts

…

Around the time Keith finishes his first plate of ribs, Sam calls everyone out to the yard for dinner. Just to avoid taking to and looking at anyone, Keith helps Callie pile up some burgers and hot dogs, but makes sure she also gets some grilled corn to go with it. She’s still completely taken with Hunk and everyone else’s presence, barely paying attention to him. It makes Keith miss her a little, but he reminds himself that he got to have her all day before this, and she hasn’t seen the others in a while. He can afford to share her a little.

He figures he can take this chance to take a proper breather. Gathering up some food on his own plate, he makes his way to the garden swing at the other end of the yard, away from everyone. He can still keep an eye on Callie from here, but can also get some privacy as he eats his burgers.

She has a continuous smile on her face as she tells everyone some story at the table that they all appear to be enraptured by. Everyone except Shiro, who stands off to the side chatting with Sam. There’s something lonely about the sight of him like that, and it makes Keith’s heart twinge a little. He can’t help but feel like him and Callie being here has derailed Shiro’s presence, that he must suddenly feel like a stranger amongst his own friends. Shiro is a good person; Keith can understand that he doesn’t want to take away Callie’s time with the people she loves, or disturb it with his presence as a stranger to her. In some ways Keith is even grateful on her behalf for that, but it still doesn’t seem fair to Shiro. He didn’t ask for any of this, and now he has to bear all the consequences.

Keith has been able to flee to the swing, but Shiro must be staying away out of courtesy to him, too.

He’s not sure how it happens, perhaps Shiro can feel his gaze on him even from the distance. Perhaps he can hear some hum of the universe that tells him Keith is thinking about him. Perhaps it’s just dumb luck, but right then, that moment, Shiro looks up and meets his eyes from across the lawn. Keith’s heart jumps to his throat, starting to pound hard.

Still, he doesn’t avert his eyes. He meets Shiro’s gaze head-on, even as he can feel his cheeks and the tips of his ears tingle with a flush. He doesn’t let his eyes stray, even as he digs out his phone with his trembling fingers. He only lowers them to type out a message.

**_Keith:_ ** _come sit with me?_

He looks up to see Shiro take out his phone. He looks up and smiles towards Keith. He says something to Sam, still smiling, before starting to make his way towards Keith, his plate in hand but putting his phone away. Each step Shiro takes is a thud of Keith’s heart, but he keeps his eyes on Shiro’s face, on that warm, happy smile and pink cheeks.

“Hey,” Shiro says, still smiling wide, as he reaches Keith.

“Hey,” Keith says, returning his smile a bit sheepishly. He gestures to the space next to him on the swing. “Sit, okay.”

Shiro does, soft and slow, leaving a respectable distance between their bodies. “Thanks for inviting me.”

“I felt bad,” Keith admits. “Everyone is so wrapped up in Callie, and you couldn’t even get away because I’m here. This really must not be the day you were expecting to have.”

“I don’t mind, really,” Shiro says.

“You’re too nice,” Keith huffs, shaking his head. “But still, thank you. For both myself and for Callie.”

“The last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable,” Shiro says in a rushed breath. “Earlier…if I did…”

“You didn’t,” Keith rushes to assure him. “I…I was just caught off guard by Pidge’s staring, when it’s none of her business. And then I guess that made me realize just how angry I really was with her.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I gave Katie a bit of a talking-to earlier. And from what I heard before, Colleen has been grilling her about grandchildren,” Shiro says.

Keith snorts. “She did say she was going to talk to her.” He shakes his head again, before turning to give Shiro a smile. “Thanks to you as well, for talking to her too.”

“You don’t need to thank me for that,” Shiro says.

He licks his lips, eyeing Keith’s face up and down, before swallowing hard. His Adam’s apple popping in his throat in a way that is far too distracting. So much so, that Keith barely registers it as Shiro slides a bit closer to him on the swing. His heart thuds, but he doesn’t move away, meeting Shiro’s soft gaze with his own.

With slow movements, Shiro lifts his left hand. Keith follows it with his eyes, glancing briefly up at Shiro’s face, looking for a clue. Shiro raises a silent, questioning eyebrow as he settles his hand just above Keith’s thigh. He doesn’t touch him, but Keith swears he can still feel the warmth radiating off him. He bites his lip, knowing his cheeks must be a fiery red by now, as he nods a little.

Shiro’s hand is warm on his leg, and Keith has to fight himself very hard not to dwell on how his hand is almost big enough to cover his entire thigh.

“I know this was too soon for me to meet your daughter, and what Katie did was wrong,” Shiro says softly somewhere above Keith, as he stares down at his feet. “But I still don’t regret seeing you today.”

Keith swallows down his nerves. He lifts his own hand, and covers Shiro’s with it on his leg. He feels Shiro stiffen beside him, but doesn’t let that deter him.

“I don’t really either,” Keith admits quietly. “But this…this is what my life is like. And this is the least complicated version of it, where I have people who can look after my daughter for a few moments so I can eat my dinner in peace.” He lifts his eyes to follow Callie as she finishes off another burger. “My daughter is always gonna be around. I’m always gonna put her first. That’s not gonna change.”

“I don’t expect it to,” Shiro says. “But do you think…do you think you have some room for someone else in your life as well?”

Keith blinks, looking up at Shiro. “Like you?”

“Like _you_ ,” Shiro says gently, and the warmth in his eyes makes Keith’s heart thump in his chest. “But also… maybe, like me too. If you wouldn’t mind that.”

“I…” Keith murmurs, swallowing. “I…don’t think I would.”

“There’s no rush,” Shiro murmurs. “You don’t have to make any decisions right now. I just hope I can keep seeing you. Perhaps for lunch again next week?”

Keith’s lips spread into a smile. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I could do that.”

Shiro returns his smile. “Good. I’m glad.”

Keith takes in a deep breath. His heart keeps beating a mile a minute. His hands are sweating and it’s embarrassing because one of them is touching Shiro’s and he can probably feel it. But Keith knows he can’t just leave it at that, not when Shiro has been so good to him. When he probably wouldn’t say anything if it wasn’t still bothering him.

He’s come this far. He might as well take the leap. Today has been a real day for a lot of things, might as well finish it with a bang.

He squeezes Shiro’s hand as he takes in another breath. “Shiro, I…I really didn’t mind what…what almost happened earlier.” He swallows. “If we’d been anywhere else and not being stared at by Pidge, I…I would’ve let it happen.”

Keith’s whole body feels hot with shame. He can’t even remember when the last time he was this emotionally vulnerable before someone else. But as he breathes a little, he also realizes he doesn’t regret what he said. The weight of the pretense is off his back now and he feels so much lighter for it.

He just hopes Shiro will feel the same.

He feels Shiro move next to him shifting their hands. He laces their fingers together and gently squeezes.

“Keith,” he murmurs. “I’m so happy to hear you say that.”

Keith looks up, warmth bursting in his chest. “Really?”

“Of course,” Shiro says, smiling kindly. “I didn’t…I don’t want to push you. But the truth is…I really like you, even though we haven’t known each other for that long. You’ve made me feel…”

“Me too,” Keith says softly, squeezing Shiro’s hand again, his heart bursting with joy and relief. He’s a little embarrassed to realize his eyes are stinging. He must look like a mess. “I’ve just been…nervous. Scared. I still am.”

“Me too,” Shiro admits. “But I meant what I said. We don’t have to rush. We can just take it one day at a time and keep getting to know each other, now just with things out in the open.”

Keith manages a smile. “That sounds good.”

“Callie will be with your ex next weekend, right?” Shiro asks. Keith nods. “Would you like to go out then? We could talk and…hang out. I don’t know if you’re interested in space but there’s an exhibit at the museum about spaceships, and I’ve been wanting to go…”

“Shiro.” Keith grins. “Callie’s proper name is Calypso.”

Shiro blinks, his mouth falling open. It’s a pretty cute look on him. “You mean after…?”

“The ship Calypso, yeah,” Keith says, still smiling. “When I was pregnant, I sometimes suffered from insomnia. When I couldn’t sleep, I’d watch the old tapes, documentaries on space I had dragged all the way up here from my Dad’s storage unit. Maybe it was nostalgia or wanting to connect to my family or something, I dunno. But there were at least three documentaries about the Calypso mission on them, so…”

He chuckles sheepishly under his breath. “When the documentaries ran out, I’d watch reruns on various channels. They marathoned this old show called _The Fosters_ a lot at the time; I must’ve seen it like five times. Anyway, one of the main characters is named Callie on that show, and…I dunno, I guess I related to her. And then when Callie was born…I just felt like this was a good way to name her.”

Keith hangs his head. “Sorry, that probably sounds lame. I’ve just never been very good with names…”

Shiro squeezes his hand. “It doesn’t sound lame at all.” He smiles warmly. “So, you’d like to go to the exhibit?”

Keith smiles. “Yes. I really would.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do next weekend,” Shiro says. “And afterwards, maybe we can go out for dinner.”

“That sounds great.”

…

There is an indescribable happiness, relief and joy that settles over Shiro after Keith’s shy confession and making his own feelings known in return. There is so much contentment to be found in the knowledge that he and Keith are finally on the same page, that things are finally out in the open. Shiro feels like he can breathe so much easier and can also be calmer with Keith, just eating, chatting and holding hands on the garden swing. They sit close together as they talk in an easygoing manner, discussing space and the stars and spacecrafts. Shiro is unable to keep from geeking out now that he knows Keith is also interested in that stuff.

He’s beyond happy to also see that when he talks, Keith’s eyes shine with excitement and he keeps up word for word with what Shiro says, coming back with his own comments to every remark Shiro has. Shiro has never met anyone who was this invested in space and spacecrafts, just as much as he himself is. His friends may be able to keep up with what he says and they’ll always listen, but none of them have the extensive knowledge on the different vessels that Keith does.

Shiro can’t wait to see the exhibit with him.

“How did you get into space this much anyway?” Keith asks. “I haven’t met that many people who are.”

“I could say the same thing for you,” Shiro says, smiling.

“Well, I always thought for me, it was more natural, being half-alien and all,” Keith says. “I didn’t really have a connection to my Galra side growing up, so I guess space in general became a bit of a substitute for that; trying to see what kind of a world my Mom came from…where she might be now…”

Shiro holds onto Keith’s hand, silently waiting for him to finish.

“Sorry,” Keith says. “That was a bit heavy.”

“It’s okay. Never apologize for that,” Shiro says. “For me, my interest in space also kind of came through family first. My Grandpa used to have this really big telescope on the porch of our house. On the really clear nights, he’d take me out to watch the stars through it, and we could keep going for hours at a time. He knew a lot about the old space vessels and stars. He loved the stories about the heroes of old, and I suppose he passed it down onto me, telling me the stories and giving me books to read and documentaries to watch since I was young.”

“That’s pretty neat,” Keith says softly. “I would stargaze with my Dad, too. We didn’t have a telescope, but we did have the big open skies. It was one of the things I used to love most about living in the middle of nowhere.”

“I do miss the stars in the city,” Shiro hums. “There was always something freeing about seeing them here in the suburbs, and about flying. To know we’re not alone in the universe; that everything is so much bigger than we can ever imagine. I guess that’s what attracted me to flight testing too.”

Keith blinks, his eyes widening. “You used to be a flight tester?”

“Yeah, back in college,” Shiro says. “It was a way for me to make a little extra money.”

That’s as much as he wants to say right now, in this situation. But he knows he’ll tell Keith more soon. He lets that thought settle into himself.

“Wow,” Keith breathes. “That’s, like…insanely cool.”

“You think so?” Shiro says.

“Are you kidding?” Keith huffs. “You should’ve started out with that. I would’ve been even more into you then.”

Shiro smirks. “So you’re _into_ me?”

Keith’s cheeks flush. “Isn’t that what I said before?”

“I’m just teasing,” Shiro hums. “I’m into you, too.”

They look each other in the eyes for a quiet moment. Shiro gets a sense of déjà vu, his eyes lowering down to Keith’s soft, pink lips. He really wants to kiss him, even though he knows this is not the time or the place. Everyone would still see them.

Suddenly, Keith blinks rapidly. “Oh crap.”

Shiro blinks, too. “What?”

“That hoverbike outside? That’s yours, isn’t it?”

“Well, yeah,” Shiro says, a little confused about where this is going.

“ _Fuck,_ ” Keith groans, hanging his head and shaking it, his bangs shifting with the movement. “Maybe it’s a good thing I didn’t know all this about you before. Sure would’ve made controlling myself a lot harder.”

“You like bikes?” Shiro asks, his lips starting to spread into a smile.

“Used to have one and everything,” Keith says, looking up to meet Shiro’s gaze, an easygoing glint in his eyes. “I had to give it up when I had Callie, though. Couldn’t exactly drive a baby around on that.”

“Wow,” Shiro breathes. “This is a whole day of revelations, isn’t it?”

But he can’t help but smile as he says it. He had forgotten how fun it can be to just flirt, and be with someone like this, to spend time and be with him. He’d forgotten how good it feels to be attractive in someone’s eyes, to feel attracted to him in return and both take it seriously and not seriously at the same time. It’s been too long since Shiro’s had fun like this with an attractive man.

“Seems so,” Keith huffs out in a near-laugh. He turns his head up into the artificial sky, and blinks. He turns to Shiro. “Hey, do you know what time is it?”

Shiro takes out his phone, and feels his mouth drop open. “It’s past eight.”

“Shit,” Keith says, looking across the lawn. Shiro follows his eyes, and sees what Keith sees. The others have gone inside and they hadn’t even noticed. Shiro had forgotten how easy it is to not notice time passing in the Holt house, where the sun can be made to set at a certain time. It is only looking up and seeing the night sky through the covered dome that you can see what it looks like outside. “Shiro, I’m sorry, I hate to cut this off like this, but…”

“Keith,” Shiro says gently. “I told you, I don’t expect more from you than you can give. It’s getting late. You should start heading home.”

Keith smiles softly at him, his eyes warm with gratitude. “Thank you.”

He gets to his feet and Shiro lets his hand go, immediately missing its warmth when it’s gone. “I’ll text you later, okay?”

“Yeah,” Keith says, and Shiro tries to commit his face, his eyes, his body; everything about him, into memory. He never wants to forget this day. “Good night, Shiro.”

“Good night, Keith.”

Keith gives him one last nod, before turning on his heel and rushing his way back towards the house. Shiro watches him go; appreciating the way his long legs move as he runs through the grass, his braid catching in the wind created by the movement. Sighing to himself in a mix of sorrow and joy, Shiro waits for his moment to leave in a way that won’t put him in Keith and Callie’s way.

…

Keith’s legs feel almost like they’re flying beneath him as he goes, still light and airy with all the emotions rushing through him. _Stars_ , as if he hadn’t been attracted to Shiro enough _before_. But now that Keith knows all of what he learned today, it’s like Shiro has dropped straight out of his boyhood fantasies. Dreams of a man on a hoverbike taking him away to the stars, but added to his good looks and kind nature that Keith has learned to truly appreciate as he has gotten older…

He’s in so much shit.

It’s a good thing the running makes it hard to tell, even to himself, if his pounding heart is due to his feelings or his hurry, though Keith knows he can’t mask the way he feels in his underwear. But the rush of adrenaline at least helps him shake it off, as he makes his way upstairs in the Holt house, quickly finding Callie, Hunk and Pidge playing with some of Pidge’s old legos in her old room.

Despite himself, Keith feels his heart growing warm at the sight. His friends have always doted on Callie, but he’s always happy to witness just how much they love her. He’s not even angry with Pidge anymore, the time spent today having let that wound heal.

Keith knocks gently on the doorframe to announce his arrival. “Callie, it’s time to go home.”

“Awww, Daddy,” Callie groans, turning her big frowning eyes at him. “Can’t we stay a little longer?”

“I’m afraid not, Starling,” Keith says gently. “It’s getting late and we still need to drive to the city.”

“Uncle Huuuunk,” Callie whines, turning her doe eyes on him.

Hunk smiles sympathetically, reaching a hand to pet her head. “Listen to your Dad, sweet pea. You need to get a lot of rest so you can grow big and strong.”

Callie pouts for a minute longer, before getting to her feet with a huff, “Fine.”

Keith pats her head as well as she reaches him at the door. “Go say goodbye to Poppop and Granny and put on your coat, okay? I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Okay,” Callie says, stepping out of the room. Keith follows her with his eyes as she makes her way down the corridor and follows it with the stairs.

As Keith turns back to his friends, Hunk says, “Good timing there, man. She wouldn’t admit it, but she’s been nodding off for a while now.”

Keith feels a small jab of guilt at that, at having lost track of time so severely. “Sorry you got saddled with her for all this time.”

“Are you kidding? I’ve been dying to get some time with my best girl,” Hunk says with a big smile. “And it seems like you and Shiro were having a good time. We didn’t want to disturb you guys.”

Keith can feel his cheeks flush, but he nods regardless. “We did have a good time. We…we talked a lot.”

“Ha!” Pidge cries, pointing a victorious finger and grin at him. “So I was right in inviting you both after all.”

“No,” Keith says. “This happened in spite of that. But I forgive you anyway.”

Pidge shrugs. “I’ll take what I can get.”

Keith chuckles, shaking his head. Hunk gets to his feet and walks over to Keith with arms held open at his sides, and Keith accepts the hug that is coming, letting himself rest in the warmth for a bit. Over Hunk’s shoulder, he sees Pidge raising up to stand as well and walk over to the two of them.

“Good night, guys,” he murmurs into Hunk’s shoulder. “Thanks for looking after Callie for me.”

“Never a problem, dude,” Hunk says, patting his back, before letting go. “If you need a night out once in a while, you just have to call.”

“Thanks,” Keith says with a small grin. He lets Pidge hug him briefly as well, as a sign of letting this whole matter go for now. “I should go.”

“Sleep well,” Pidge says with a wave.

Keith gives them both one in return, before turning on his heel and making his way downstairs.

By the front door, Callie is already dressed in her coat, waiting for him with Sam and Colleen at her side. She looks a bit out of it now that Keith gets a proper look, swaying on her feet and with her gaze unfocused.

“Sam, Colleen, thank you for the dinner, and for everything tonight,” Keith says as he quickly takes out his coat from where someone must’ve put it with the others and starting to put it on.

“Come around more often, Keith,” Colleen says warmly to him with a soft smile. “After all, for now, Callie is our only grandchild.”

“We’ll try,” he says, finishing with the buttons of his coat. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

“Come on, Starling,” Keith says, taking Callie’s hand.

“Bye, Granny and Poppop,” Callie says, waving at Sam and Colleen.

“Bye, Callie,” Sam says.

Keith gives them a quick wave of his own, before opening the front door and leading Callie out. He pointedly does not look at Shiro’s hoverbike as they make their way to the car. Keith helps Callie to her carseat and buckles her up before taking his own seat and starting the car. He slowly backs them out to the road that takes them back towards the city.

They haven’t been driving long when Callie says, “Who was that strange guy you were talking to?”

Keith glances over at her, confused. “I told you, he’s Shiro. He’s my new friend.”

“How did you even meet? And when?” Callie demands.

“He’s also friends with Aunt Pidge and Uncle Hunk,” Keith explains, unable to look her in the eyes this time since he’s driving. It feels like a bit of a relief, to not have to tell her everything and also look at her. “They introduced us last week while you were staying with your Papa.”

“Why were you spending so much time with him? You barely talked to anyone else.”

“They wanted to spend more time with you,” Keith says, trying not to get agitated. He’d sworn to himself a long time ago that he would never let Callie feel like she was being a bother when she was asking a lot of questions. Not when Keith had had so few of his own answered in his own life.

“Do I have to hang out with him now?” Callie asks.

“Not if you don’t want to,” Keith reassures her softly. “But if it’s okay with you, I’d still like to be friends with Shiro.”

Keith glances over to see Callie staring up ahead at the awakening city lights through the windshield, biting her lip as she seems to mull it over.

“…That’s okay, I guess,” she finally says, before turning to look out at the dark landscape around them from the window, apparently ending the conversation there.

Keith gives a short private sigh of relief, turning back to focus on driving. He still occasionally glances over at his daughter, seeing her slowly nod off in her seat. Keith smiles at the sight of her, at the open, clear night before him as a wonderful, new sense of calmness settles over him.

It’s strange to realize just how happy he is right this moment.


	7. Chapter 7

As planned, on Sunday morning, Shiro leaves his apartment to meet up with Hunk and Lance for laser tag. They had kept their goodbyes brief the previous day, even though Shiro knows Hunk was probably curious to hear his side of what happened between him and Keith. He’d given Shiro a sly look, and whispered in his ear, “We’ll talk tomorrow,” and left it at that.

Given that, Shiro’s heart rate is a bit higher than normal with nerves as he drives his bike through the city, despite the happy, weightless feeling being on it gives him. He hasn’t been driving his bike much before yesterday, usually he uses public transport or he walks. He hadn’t been able to give up his bike, but she’s been sitting in his garage for far too long. The idea of using her to get to the Holts’ had come to Shiro in the spur of the moment over breakfast as he’d been thinking if he should take a cab or the bus.

He’d gone down to the garage to check up on her and greet her like an old friend he’d missed for far too long. He’d spent most of Saturday fixing her up, making sure she still ran well under his hands. And by the time he took her out, she did.

Adam had never liked Shiro’s affinity for hoverbikes, just like he hadn’t liked almost anything that brought Shiro thrill and excitement. Shiro had locked his bike away, too. He’d forgotten how much he used to love it. And now, Keith…

Shiro can’t help but swallow as he remembers Keith’s reaction when Shiro told him about the bike and about the flight testing. He’s so different from Adam; there is a fire burning inside of him with passion and love for the adrenaline, just like there used to be for Shiro. Like there still is, as he is rediscovering.

He’s…he’s falling for Keith. It’s happened quick and hard, but he is. Shiro can’t deny that, can’t deny the fire and warmth Keith has brought back into his life. Shiro knows it’s too soon to say it. He meant what he said to Keith; they can and probably should take whatever is starting to bloom between them one day at a time. And Shiro’s not really sure he’s ready to admit what he feels to anyone else yet either. It feels like that confession would break something, or make something far too real, far too serious, far too fast.

It’s not that Shiro expects Hunk to give him the third degree or anything. After all, it was him and Pidge who originally set him and Keith up. Shiro doubts they would’ve done that if they thought Shiro would ever do anything to hurt Keith or vice versa. But Shiro thinks he can now understand a little better why Keith really didn’t want to be kissed where their friends could see. They’re all so invested in what is happening between them that it’s getting to be a little too much pressure. There are so many expectations when what they need is to take things slow.

Shiro hopes he can explain that to Hunk today.

When Shiro turns to the parking lot of the laser tag center, he sees Hunk and Lance already waiting by the front door, bundled up in winter clothes and chattering to each other. At the sound of the hoverbike’s hum, they turn to look over at him and Hunk raises a hand and smiles in greeting. Shiro waves back as he goes to park the bike, letting it hum and slowly sink down to the ground in a parking space. He takes off his helmet and shakes out his hair, before getting off the bike and making his way to his friends.

“Hey guys,” he says with a grin.

“Hey, man,” Hunk says, patting him on the arm.

“Hey, Shiro,” Lance says, leaning over to look past the two other men to look at Shiro’s bike. “I didn’t know you rode hoverbikes.”

“It’s been a while,” Shiro says. He doesn’t really want to get into it now. He likes Lance well enough, but he’s more Hunk and Pidge’s friend, as well as Allura’s boyfriend, than Shiro’s. “Should we go inside?”

“Please, I’m freezing,” Hunk says, turning on his heel towards the front door.

Shiro and Lance follow.

…

Keith’s Sunday begins normally and fairly peacefully. After breakfast, he and Callie work together on her homework for the weekend, they cook and eat lunch together, and after that Keith drops her off at her friend Lucy’s house to play. He immediately misses her when she’s gone, but Lucy visited them the last time so he shouldn’t mind so much that his daughter wants to go to her house this time around.

It’s also as soon as Callie is gone, that every emotion, every action, every touch and every hope from the previous day comes flooding right back into Keith’s mind. He has to bury his flaming face in his arm on top of the steering wheel for a bit, just to feel slightly less overwhelmed by all of it.

Being with Shiro is so easy. He makes Keith’s life feel brighter and happier. Every moment they’re together feels like a dream; like there is no one else around but the two of them and that everything is just so much simpler and lighter.

But in truth, Keith’s life is not simple or light. And in some ways, the fact that Shiro makes him forget that it’s not scares him. He’s not sure he can allow himself to forget. It’s only by being vigilant and alert that Keith has even made it this far. The last time he let his judgement slip, let himself give into his feelings and a false sense of security…

Keith shakes his head. He _knows_ Shiro’s not like that. No matter what, he’d never treat him the way James did and still does. What they have is completely different from him and James, or even what Keith once thought they had. Shiro is kind and caring and honest; he respects Keith’s boundaries and doesn’t seem to want anything from him except his time and presence.

And Keith wants to give him that. He wants to give Shiro everything. He’s a little embarrassed to admit how very much and in how many ways he desires him. He didn’t get to see Shiro ride his bike yet. Perhaps one day he will. Maybe Shiro will take him for a ride and let Keith press up against his back. Maybe he’ll even let Keith show him how he used to do it. He wonders if Shiro would object too much to wearing a leather jacket once or twice, just to put the cherry on top of Keith’s boyhood fantasies…

He swallows hard around his dry throat. He needs to get out of here before the thought of masturbating in his car becomes too tempting.

Keith drives to the grocery store and does his shopping for the first half of the week. He drives home and puts his groceries away, and then cleans around the apartment. He doesn’t do as thorough a job as the week before, but he picks up stray things and puts them in place, gathers up dirty clothes and puts in a load of laundry, and vacuums the floors. It’s a good enough distraction to pass the time while Callie is away and it will do for now.

He needs to prove to himself he can be without Shiro for at least one day.

…

Laser tag is fun, more fun than Shiro even remembered. He feels like a boy again, running and shooting and laughing as he pants, trying to catch his breath. He’d completely forgotten what it feels like to just let go and play like a child.

Lance has to leave not long after laser tag to run some errands, but since Pidge is tied up in her research, Hunk can stick around for a while. He and Shiro decide to head out to have some lunch. Hunk recommends a hole-in-the-wall burger place not too far, and after many years of friendship, Shiro know better than to turn down food that Hunk recommends.

They mostly chat about nonsense, about the laser tag and how fun it was and how they need to do it again, as they wait for their food to arrive. Shiro tries his best to relax, to not let his nerves show. He and Hunk are alone now, so he knows it’s only a matter of time before their “talk”. He tries to think in actual words in his mind what he wants, and what he should say to his friend. Musing over the right time to say it, but at the same time hoping Hunk will take the first step. Even if he wanted to give Shiro some type of shovel talk, Shiro’s pretty sure he could take it. Anything would be better than just waiting around for it to happen.

He’s relieved when the food arrives and he can focus on eating for a bit.

They’ve taken a few first bites of their incredible burgers when Hunk says, “I hope you’re not too mad at Pidge anymore.”

Shiro swallows around his current bite. This is probably it now, even though Hunk is starting out gently, as though working his way up to what he has to say.

“I’m not,” he says. “I did end up having a good time with Keith. I just hope she didn’t take that the wrong way. What she did was still not okay.”

“I know,” Hunk says with a sympathetic smile. “We all talked with her about it yesterday. I think she gets it now.”

Shiro nods numbly, popping a fry into his mouth just to have something to do.

“But speaking of which,” Hunk says, lifting his eyebrows in a show of eagerness. Shiro swallows again. This is it. “You and Keith, huh? Seems like that’s working out after all.”

Despite himself, Shiro smiles a little. “Yeah. We had a good talk.”

“Okay, and?” Hunk asks, leaning forward on across the table.

Shiro sighs, and puts his burger down to talk to him straight, his heart in his throat. “Hunk. I know you and Katie and everyone else mean well, but honestly…it’s kind of a lot. Keith and I both agree that we need to do things at our own pace, and see where whatever is between us is going. And we can’t really do that with you all constantly breathing down our necks.”

Hunk blinks a few times, his expression neutral. Shiro can feel his palms sweat and he wishes Hunk would say something, give some sort of a reaction.

Finally, Hunk sighs. “I get that. I’ll try to be less pushy.”

Shiro lets out a sigh of relief on his own, smiling towards his friend. “Thank you.”

“Is there anything you think you _can_ tell me, though?” Hunk says, raising an eyebrow. “Just so I know you guys are doing okay. Because I want you both to be okay. It doesn’t have to be together or anything if that’s not where you think it’ll lead, but I just…”

“Hunk,” Shiro says, smiling softly. “Slow down.”

Hunk takes in a breath. “Okay. Okay. So?”

Shiro smiles. “I think we are on the same page now. We’ve made plans to see each other next weekend; go see the spacecraft exhibit at the museum.”

Hunk beams, his dark brown eyes sparkling with joy. “That sounds great! Something for you both to bond over.”

Shiro feels his cheeks grow warm, but all he can do is smile down at his plate and softly murmur, “He’s an amazing man.”

“I know,” Hunk says. “I think he likes you too.”

Shiro turns up to smile at Hunk. “I’m still a bit nervous, but…I want to see where this goes. I want to feel optimistic.”

“Then you should,” Hunk says with a grin. “I don’t think it’s bad that you’re nervous. Given everything, I might be more worried if you weren’t. But it’s okay to have hope, too.”

Shiro nods silently, more to himself than to Hunk. “…I’m gonna tell him. Next weekend, when we have more time and can be alone, I’ll tell Keith everything.”

Hunk blinks. “That’s a bold move.”

“It’s the right thing to do,” Shiro says with a small shrug. “We both need to go into this with eyes wide open. I know most of Keith’s story. It’s time he knows mine, too. At least after that…we’ll know.”

“Yeah,” Hunk muses. “Are you nervous?”

“Of course,” Shiro says. “But I also know I have to do it. I can’t let my past hold me back any longer. All I can do is hope he’ll still want to be with me.”

“Has he asked about your past?”

“A little,” Shiro admits. “He hasn’t pushed me to tell him anything, but…”

“Then that should tell you something,” Hunk says with a kind smile. “Keith is pretty self-aware. He knows what he can and can’t handle. And he’s seen some shit, both from his life and through his job. I’m pretty sure you’re not exactly gonna shock him.”

“That’s what he said,” Shiro admits, managing a small smile of his own. “It’s just…new. I haven’t really needed to explain my situation to anyone in this capacity before.”

“Honestly, that just makes me happier to hear you wanna tell Keith,” Hunk says. “I know you wanted me to butt out, and I’ll try to, but…I have to say I’m really glad for you both.”

Shiro smiles a bit wider. “I think I can allow that much.”

He retakes his burger in hand and continues eating.

…

The rest of Sunday passes peacefully enough for Keith. He watches a bit of TV, prepares dinner for himself and then goes to pick Callie up. They have a bit of time to chat and watch some cartoons before it’s time for both of them to go to sleep.

The next week passes by both swiftly and slowly for Keith. He keeps himself busy with his job and his daughter, which makes the time pass, but he’s looking forward to the weekend so much that time seems to crawl past simultaneously. He’s never wanted the week to be over this much, especially on a weekend when he won’t have Callie with him, but now he feels like he’s counting the minutes until Saturday. It’s pretty embarrassing how much he misses Shiro after such a short time, and he can’t wait to see him again and properly spend time with him. Keith can’t believe how very pathetic he has become. He even finds himself reading up on the museum’s website, just to see what he might have to look forward to on Saturday.

At least the fact that Shiro still remains a presence in his life helps to pacify Keith’s longing, as humiliating as it is. They keep each other up to date on their business with their usual text messages, Shiro telling him about laser tag with Hunk and what he’s otherwise been up to, and Keith returning in kind with regular updates about how his days are going. They also meet up for their lunch date as planned. This time Keith lets Shiro hold his hand, enjoying the warmth of it as they talk and enjoy each other’s company in general.

Keith feels a little dizzy so close to Shiro, and can’t stop his eyes from looking down to his mouth. Shiro’s lips are like a constant, mocking reminder of what almost happened at the Holts’. Desire flames at the pit of his stomach in a way that feels foreign, new and even a little scary. Perhaps that is why Keith holds himself back from just going over to Shiro and planting one on him. He feels like there is some reason to wait here, that he may not be ready to take that step between them yet. He’s grateful Shiro doesn’t push either, and Keith finds he doesn’t mind the waiting. Whatever is to come, it feels like something to look forward to now, rather than something to nervously wait for.

They hug at the end of their lunch again, and this time it feels much less awkward. It makes Keith feel warm down to his very core, and seems to show that despite their slow steps, he and Shiro _are_ moving forward. They’re just doing it at a pace that best suits them.

Friday eventually rolls around and Keith drops Callie off at school with her bookbag and her things for the few days ahead. He feels the regular twinge in his heart as they say their goodbyes for the weekend, but this time it’s more momentary, rather than a searing wound that won’t let him go until he sees her again. He wonders if he should feel guilty about that, about the fact he’s for once looking forward to some time without his daughter, but all Keith can feel is relief. He’s just too glad to have something besides a long, lonely, cold weekend by himself. And it’s not like this will be the last weekend Callie will ever spend with James, so maybe there is something to having someone new in his life to fill the hole no one else has been able to step into.

He just hopes more than anything, that his newfound optimism won’t somehow end up biting him in the ass in the end. Hopes that tomorrow, no matter what it holds, will go well between him and Shiro.

…

Embarrassing as it is, Shiro can’t deny that he probably spends more time than is strictly necessary, trying to find a suitable outfit for his meeting with Keith that even now he doesn’t quite dare call a date. It should probably seem juvenile and silly for a man in his thirties to make up different outfits from the clothes he has like a schoolgirl. But Shiro also can’t quite bring himself to mind as much as he perhaps should. It’s been a while since he’s gone out like this; _really_ gone out. He’d forgotten how much he used to enjoy the process of it, enjoy his good looks, impressing his dates and enjoying his time with them. It may be juvenile, but Shiro feels young again, getting to dig through his closet for all his old dating gear and trying them on. Just like with his hoverbike, it’s almost like rediscovering an old friend. He thinks he looks good, perhaps he has spent far too long in his proper office button-ups, slacks and sweaters.

Shiro thinks he has found the outfit he wants, but he can’t help but feel like there is something missing from completing the look. He glances over at the pile of discarded clothes on his bed, his eyes not immediately finding anything to add to his combo of tight, neat jeans and shirt. Isn’t there anything he can use to complete the look?

Shiro steps a little further into his closet, taking in what other clothes are folded and hanging around that he could use. He’s nearly made it to the opposite wall, when he spots _it_ , now visible behind the piles of clothes he grabbed to try on before. His breath catches and his fingers tremble as he, almost through sheer instinct, reaches out to grab his old leather jacket from the back of his closet. He used to love that jacket once upon a time, and it was his go-to for when he wanted to make sure he turned heads. Shiro knows he was a sight with it on his bike once upon a time, flying many boys around behind him on it. Even Adam had fallen for that, enjoying Shiro’s bad boy persona and looks at the beginning of their relationship.

He just hadn’t been able to see, that although Shiro wasn’t really a bad boy, the jacket and the bike meant something to him. That the bike and the thrill that came with it weren’t just for show. They weren’t just accessories to keep for the look of them.

Shiro shakes his head. He might be planning to tell Keith everything today, but that doesn’t mean he should make himself upset over the past before it’s time. And at the same time, perhaps this jacket is just what he needs. Keith had liked the fact he has a bike. Maybe he’d like the leather jacket too. Maybe he’d appreciate it. Maybe the jacket would make him turn heads, the way he used to in his college days.

Maybe it is time Shiro brings back the look he once loved on himself.

He tries the jacket on, with the shirt he chose before, seeing how it looks in his mirror. Shiro can’t help but grin to himself as he takes in his appearance. The jacket is a little tight across the chest, since Shiro’s not as slender as he used to be in his twenties, but he can just leave it open like this, and it’ll work just fine. Casual, but tidy and a little bit on the side of being “accidentally” sexy.

Shiro has just enough time to make sure the rest of his appearance looks good, to make sure his hair is on the side of artfully messy rather than just fuzzy from the shirts, before grabbing his outerwear, keys and wallet and heading out. He coat ruins the image of him on the bike in the jacket, but given how late in the year it is, Shiro would freeze without it, and he’s not quite ready to go _that_ far just to impress a guy. Even if that guy is Keith.

Still, driving his bike to the museum gives Shiro the adrenaline and confidence boost he needs to feel more certain of himself and steady on his feet as he parks his bike and makes his way up the stairs towards the main entrance of the museum. He doesn’t see Keith around yet, but he is a bit early, so he tries not to worry. He smooths out his hair a little bit more, hoping it doesn’t look too matted from the helmet.

Shiro doesn’t have to wait long before he sees movement in the corner of his eye. Turning to look down towards the stairs, his lips spread into a wide smile as he sees Keith’s beautiful, slender form making its way up at a brisk pace. As their eyes meet, Keith returns his smile and gives him a quick wave; the morning light catching in his eyes and hair like a halo. He’s wearing his hair in a high ponytail today, and it’s a look that makes Shiro’s heart thump, especially when it’s accompanied by that smile.

“Hey,” he greets Keith as he reaches him, a little breathless even though Keith was the one who just ran to him.

“Hey,” Keith says back. He’s got a small backpack on, likely to carry all his things. “Been waiting long?”

“No, I just got here,” Shiro says. He gestures towards the museum with his arm. “Shall we?”

Keith nods with a smile. Shiro swallows hard, shifting a bit closer, his arm still up. He places it between Keith’s shoulder blades in a light, but intimate touch.

Keith just keeps smiling at him, a little sweet blush taking over his cheeks, and Shiro takes it as his cue to lead him inside.

…

When they hang up their outdoor coats and Keith sees the leather jacket Shiro was hiding beneath his, the sight practically makes him swallow his own tongue. He had been half-joking in his mind about such a jacket, but seeing Shiro in it is beyond anything he ever could’ve imagined for himself. He feels like he could spend an eternity just taking in the way it accentuates Shiro’s strong shoulders and large arms, his chest muscles and his trim waist. The tight jeans don’t help either, with the sensual way they hug Shiro’s ass and accentuate its thick, round shape.

It’s an outfit Keith’s not sure he seriously ever expected Shiro would wear, looking like the image of Keith’s wettest dreams. But he supposes he shouldn’t be too shocked. The more he gets to know Shiro, the more he seems to be a man who is full of surprises. And this is a surprise Keith is very happy to discover, especially with the way he and Shiro actually match a little. Keith also dug out his red leather jacket for the occasion, placing it over a black hoodie and some dark blue jeans of his own.

“You look nice,” Shiro says, giving him a once-over and a smile.

It warms Keith, sending his heart beating a steady rhythm. “You too.”

Feeling emboldened by the compliment, Keith holds out his hand for Shiro, silently giving him a cue. Shiro’s smile widens a little, and he takes Keith’s hand in his. His hand is warm and big as always, fitting so well around Keith’s as they begin to walk towards the exhibit.

“I like your piercings,” Shiro comments, turning towards Keith to gently point points towards Keith’s ears with his free hand, and towards his multiple holes filled with studs and rings for once. “I didn’t even realize you had them.”

“The hair usually hides them, and I can’t wear them at work,” Keith says with a wry smile. He had debated with himself whether Shiro would like them or not, if he should put them in or not, but he’s glad he did, now. “A relic from my wild youth.”

“You’re still young enough,” Shiro says.

“Don’t always feel like it,” Keith hums, casting his eyes off to his side. “Most days I feel like I’ve lived multiple lifetimes.”

Shiro hums as he and Keith enter into the first hall of the exhibition, filled with real small flying jets.

“I feel like that far too often myself,” Shiro admits softly, before turning to give Keith a small, warm smile. “Lately though, I’ve been feeling much younger and more alive.”

Keith feels his cheeks heat up at the words, and at the soft look Shiro grants him. He swallows around his dry throat, unable to keep from wondering if maybe…

He shakes the thought off. That’s thinking a bit too highly of himself.

He gives Shiro an encouraging smile. “Well, today, you really look it. I dig the jacket.”

“You sure it doesn’t just make me look like I’m just a thirty-something trying too hard to relive my glory days?” Shiro says with a teasing lilt in his tone.

“No at all,” Keith reassures him, his own smile growing to resemble a teasing grin. “You look good. Like a real youngin’.”

“Why do I get the feeling you don’t really mean that?” Shiro says, but there is a playful glimmer in his eyes.

“Oh hush, old timer,” Keith says with a grin, gently punching Shiro in the chest with his free hand. “Let’s just go look at some planes now.”

Shiro’s smile softens. “Lead the way.”

…

Shiro is fairly certain the exhibit on a subject so dear and close to his heart would’ve likely held his interest on its own well enough, but with Keith, it is an incredible, fun experience. They take turns reading the info plaques on the crafts they see, adding in facts that they both know from commentaries and articles as they admire the shapes and forms of the vessels. They discuss the documentaries they’ve both seen and give each other recommendations on ones they’ve missed. There’s a sparkle in Keith’s eyes as they talk and a grin on his face, and he’s so beautiful the sight of him makes Shiro’s heart ache.

They make their way to the last vessel in the second hall of the exhibit called Persephone, Keith taking his turn to read the info box on it out loud.

As he finishes, he smiles nostalgically. “Persephone was also the model for the planes in _Knights of Thaldycon_.”

“The what?” Shiro asks, raising an eyebrow.

Keith’s cheeks turn flaming red, and his eyes widen with something akin to panic, before he averts his gaze. “Forget it.”

“No, really,” Shiro says, stepping closer to him gently. “I wanna know.”

Shiro sees Keith bite his lip, hesitating, before he turns back to face Shiro. “It’s an old sci-fi movie, okay?”

“Really?” Shiro asks. “You like sci-fi?”

Keith shrugs. “I found it interesting to watch what people thought space was like when it was less known. Dad did too.”

“Hey,” Shiro says gently. “There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not making fun of you or anything. I think it’s cool.”

“I just figured…” Keith starts, his eyes darting around. “I guess I figured since you love space so much, you might know that one.”

“Can I rent it somewhere?” Shiro asks. “I’ll watch it later.”

“You don’t have to,” Keith says softly, lowering his eyes to the ground. “It’s kinda dumb.”

“If it’s important to you, I would like to see it,” Shiro says. “Maybe we can talk about it later.”

That gets a small smile out of Keith. “Maybe.”

“So? Do you know where I can get it?”

“It’s on Netflix,” Keith says.

“I’ll check it out later, then,” Shiro says with a grin.

Keith gives a single soft blink in his direction, before his expression softens into a grin of his own. “Come on, let’s go to the next hall.”

Shiro keeps smiling as he lets Keith pull him forward by the hand through the large door, his eyes on his cute ponytail. The first craft in the room taunts him from the corner of his eye as they enter, though, and he turns his face up to look at it.

He immediately freezes in place.

The plane in front of him is a newer, sleek model; another one amongst others here that are mostly built for solo travel for short distances. It gleams silvery in the overhead lights, its wings sharp and angled, the glass gleaming bright, and the nose cocked up and proud. When Shiro first saw it, he thought it was the most beautiful plane he’d ever seen. Knowing he would get to fly it made him feel like everything was worth it; each fight with Adam, all the long hours and sometimes menial flights. Icarus had made it all fade away, made Shiro feel like he was a part of something incredible, just like his heroes of old. He’d been so happy, so proud to be the first pilot to fly it.

Perhaps he should’ve taken the name of the vessel as a warning sign. The irony hadn’t been lost to him or anyone, especially the press, when it all went down. Literally.

And Icarus is here, in his museum, as if to taunt Shiro with the memory of it. And as painful as Shiro’s heartbeat grows, as much coldness begins to seep into his every pore, he can’t look away. He can’t move. He can’t _breathe_.

“Shiro?” he hears a distant voice somewhere. He can’t see who is talking. All he can see are flames around him, around Icarus, and it is strange because he’s _so cold_. Sirens blare in the distance, ringing between his ears through the sound of his own heartbeat. Mixing in with the futile movements of the controls that won’t work beneath his hands, the voices of the flight command in his ears, the cough of the machines engines as they shut down completely.

“Shiro, what is it?” he hears that same voice say, just before Keith steps into his line of sight, purple eyes wide and his face pale with concern. It was his voice. But Shiro still can’t breathe, can’t speak, can’t _move_.

“Stars, you’re having a panic attack,” Keith states. The previous nervous look on his face seems to melt away, replaced by a determined frown of his brows.

“Listen, Shiro, look at me,” Keith continues, his voice firm but kind as he peers deep into Shiro’s eyes. Steady. “Listen to my voice. You’re okay. You’re having a panic attack. Can you breathe for me? In…” Keith gestures up with his hand, and Shiro finds himself taking a breath with him. “And out, slowly,” Keith lowers his hand, breathing, and Shiro follows along, letting the air flow out. “In…and out…”

Keith keeps doing this for a while, Shiro following along with his example. He refuses to look towards Icarus, focusing on Keith’s lovely face. It’s a much nicer thing to look at, anyway; and watching him makes Shiro’s breathing slowly start to come out more easily and even out, even has his heart keeps beating a mile a minute and his hands shake with the chills.

“I…” he manages to gasp out. “I need to get out of here. I can’t be here.”

Keith doesn’t ask or question him. He just gives a single firm nod. He stops holding Shiro’s hand, but doesn’t stop touching him. Letting his hand pass across Shiro’s back until he can wrap his arm around Shiro’s shoulder and help him walk away, like a guardian angel. It is a good thing, too, because Shiro can only look down at his feet, not even looking at where they are going. He barely registers that the space surrounding him has grown much darker until Keith leads him to sit down on a backless bench, taking his own seat next to Shiro, close enough that their legs are brushing.

As Shiro tries to get his heartbeat under control, he watches as Keith takes off his backpack and rummages through it. He takes out a water bottle, twisting the cap open and wordlessly handing it to Shiro. Shiro thanks him with a silent nod, gulping down greedily to soothe his dry throat. The drink settles him enough to properly take in where they are. Fake stars twinkling all around him in the darkness; on the floor, the walls and the ceiling; they are the only light in the space aside from the little crack coming from outside. This must be the planetarium room he read about online.

Shiro lets his hands, still holding the water bottle, fall between his knees as he slumps in his seat, his eyes cast down to the floor and on the stars shining there.

“How are you feeling?” Keith’s voice asks softly at his side.

“Better,” Shiro says in a hoarse voice. His heartbeat is still elevated and he feels vaguely dizzy and exhausted, but he knows from experience that the worst of it should be over. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me,” Keith says kindly.

“No, I do,” Shiro says, forcing himself to sit up straighter and to look at Keith properly. His throat feels tight with emotion, and Shiro has to swallow so he doesn’t burst into tears. That would be the very last thing he needs right now. “I…I’m sorry, Keith. I didn’t know this was gonna happen, but now I’ve ruined our day, and…”

“Shiro, no,” Keith says in a rush, his eyes soft and gentle as he places a hand on Shiro’s knee. “You never have to apologize for having a panic attack. They suck, I know, but you shouldn’t blame yourself when they happen. They’re not your fault.”

Shiro lowers his eyes, unable to meet Keith’s gaze or say anything more.

“Hey,” Keith says softly, moving his hand to wrap his arm around Shiro’s shoulders again. “You said to me once that you liked the fact we could be honest with each other and not have to hide things. Well, I feel the same way. And this falls under that category. So whatever you’re thinking, don’t. You haven’t ruined anything. Or do you really think so little of me that you think I’d be angry or disappointed or whatever it is you’re thinking I am because you had a panic attack?”

Shiro raises his head in a rush. “No! Of course not, I…”

“There, you see,” Keith says, giving him a small smirk.

Shiro can’t help it. He gives a small huffed laugh and a smile of his own. “Well played.”

Keith shrugs, still smirking.

“You held up pretty well in general,” Shiro says, moving to lay a hand on Keith’s thigh.

“I’m a nurse, remember?” Keith says. “This wasn’t exactly my first rodeo.”

Shiro gives him a soft smile, his chest suddenly flooding with warm affection and trust. His heart rate settling. He feels safe, being with Keith like this; alone, in the dim darkness, surrounded by stars. Keith just witnessed Shiro at his absolute worst, and didn’t even flinch. He’s still here, with his arm around Shiro and sitting beside him. He didn’t leave. He can trust Keith. And Shiro can’t think of a better or safer place to speak his truth.

“Keith,” he says softly. “I want to tell you something.”

…

Shiro’s words make Keith’s heart jump into his throat. He had expected Shiro to tell him, since he’d said he would, but he hadn’t expected it to happen like this. Neither of them could’ve predicted Shiro’s attack. He just hopes Shiro doesn’t feel like he now has to give Keith some sort of an explanation just because of that. Asking such an invasive question is the last thing Keith would try to do.

Still, if Shiro feels like he’s ready, Keith wants to be supportive. He lifts his chin to look Shiro in the eyes, squeezing his shoulder. “You can tell me anything, Shiro.”

“This isn’t an easy story for me to tell,” Shiro says softly. “So let me finish before you say anything. I’m not…I’m not sure I can get through it otherwise.”

Keith leans forward, shifting his hand to cradle the side of Shiro’s face, pulling Shiro’s head down, until their foreheads are touching, hoping to both show his support and his affection, to work as something akin to an anchor for Shiro. “You know you don’t have to tell me anything, right? I’m not gonna ask.”

“I know,” Shiro says gently. “But that’s precisely why I think I can. I trust you, Keith. And I want you to know. I want to explain this to you.”

Keith licks his lips, pulling back a little so he can meet Shiro’s gaze more easily.

“Whatever you want to tell me, whenever you want,” he says. “I’ll listen.”

Shiro nods silently, his gaze soft as he looks at Keith. He lifts his right hand to cradle the side of Keith’s face. The metal of his prosthetic is slightly cold but smooth on Keith’s skin as Shiro caresses his cheek with his thumb, looking him deep in the eyes. It’s a situation not unlike that at the Holt house, and if the circumstances were different, Keith might be inclined to kiss Shiro right now. But he holds himself very still, knowing it’s not the time.

Slowly, Shiro pulls away from him, turning to look somewhere ahead. He takes his hand off Keith’s thigh, and Keith removes his from around Shiro’s face to give him some space to muse over his words. He keeps their thighs brushing though, just to show Shiro he’s not going anywhere.

Shiro licks his lips, not meeting Keith’s eyes, as he opens his mouth.

“I mentioned to you before that I used to be a flight tester back in college,” Shiro starts. “I did it to earn some extra money on the side, but that wasn’t why I sought out that particular job. I loved it. It let me live some of my childhood fantasies out, it made me feel like I could contribute at least somewhat to the progress of the current flight crafts. And it was just plain _fun_. It always made me feel so alive, being up there in the sky. I never felt so free as when I was flying.”

Keith gives a small nod though Shiro’s still not looking in his direction, just to show he’s listening. His heart is thumping violently in his throat, but he doesn’t let that disturb him. He takes every word Shiro says in carefully.

“At the time, I was still with my ex, Adam,” Shiro continues. “He didn’t really like what I did for a living then. He always said he was continuously on edge when he knew I was in the air, thinking over every possible scenario that could go wrong and make the flight fail. We fought about it a lot, actually. He wanted me to give it up, at the very least when we graduated and I began to work as a marriage counsellor. But I couldn’t give it up, even though I could’ve. Flying has always been my dream, and although what I was doing wasn’t quite the same, it had become a part of me. I loved it too much. If I had given it up…I felt like I would’ve lost a part of myself in the process.”

Keith swallows. He has a feeling he knows where this is going, but he doesn’t dare quite think it. He needs to listen to the end.

“Then one day, a few years ago, I was shown a new craft to test out,” Shiro says. “I was incredibly excited at the time because the vessel was the newest model, the latest cutting-edge technology in ships. It was just what I’d always dreamed of flying, what I’d always wanted my work to help create. And the machine was a thing of beauty too. I could barely stand still with how much I wanted to get it in the air…”

Keith can feel his breathing coming out a little faster with his heartbeat. He tries his best to not make it heard, even as he feels cold sweat start to form at the back of his neck.

“Something went wrong,” Shiro says, confirming what Keith already knew. “As soon as I was in the air, just after liftoff, the plane – ironically named Icarus – refused to obey any of my commands. It didn’t take long for the whole machine to shut down around me. I did what I could to try and land it safely, but…”

Keith watches Shiro lick his lips as he mulls over his words. He remembers the Icarus test flight. He’d seen it on the news. It had been a breaking story that week, but they hadn’t named the pilot. He had no idea it was Shiro. And now, he’s not sure what to do. Shiro asked him not to speak until he was done, but Keith can’t just sit here and do nothing.

He doesn’t even think about it. He just lifts his hand and takes Shiro’s into his own, squeezing it. Shiro finally turns to look at him with the touch, his eyes a little wide with surprise, before his expression melts into a soft, grateful smile. He squeezes Keith’s hand back, and Keith gives him a smile in encouragement.

Shiro clears his throat before he starts again, this time looking directly at Keith. “I woke up in a hospital bed. The first thing I realized was that my right arm was gone. It had been crushed by the plane’s weight upon landing; the doctors had to cut it off to save my life. I was scarred all over and everything hurt…I was told I had months of physical therapy ahead of me.”

Keith’s squeezes Shiro’s hand again.

“My friends were all there with me within hours of me waking up. They took care of everything for me for the next few days while I was still out of it with drugs, and comforted me. They told me they’d be with me no matter what came next. But Adam…Adam was nowhere to be found.”

Shiro sighs, hanging his head. “When he finally arrived a few days later… do you know what the first thing he said to me was?” Keith shakes his head softly, a lump in his throat. “’I told you that you were going to get yourself hurt.’”

Keith sucks in a breath, a flame of anger flaring up in the pit of his stomach, and he clenches his teeth together just to hold back a growl. He can’t believe…how could anyone say that, let alone to _Shiro_ …

Before he can fully take in his own fury or say anything, Shiro keeps going. “We ended up arguing again, right then and there…as much as I physically could argue at that point, lying down in bed, still heavily medicated and bandaged up. I actually can’t even really remember most of what we said at the time, but…”

Shiro sighs. “In the end, Adam said that he couldn’t look at me the way that I was right then, couldn’t bear to see me in pain and in denial of the fact that I had brought all of this on myself with my own reckless behavior and actions…and then he just left. I never saw him again. He moved his things out of our apartment while I was still recovering in the hospital.”

The fire hot anger flares up inside Keith again. He takes a few deep breaths to try and calm himself. This is not about him. This is about Shiro.

“So, there you have it,” Shiro says, shrugging. “My sad little backstory.”

“Shiro…” Keith murmurs breathlessly, trying to keep from growling, as he squeezes Shiro’s hand again in support. His whole body feels so heated that it’s only belatedly that he realizes his eyes are stinging with tears of sympathy and sorrow for this man, who didn’t deserve any of the way he was treated.

“I’m sorry to say this,” Keith says, doing his best to keep his voice at an even level, despite his rage. “But your ex was an _asshole_.”

Shiro snorts in a humorless manner, shaking his head.

“Don’t I know it,” he says. “But…we were together for a long time. And I think with everything else, with him leaving at that moment…it got to me more than I’ve been willing to admit. I haven’t wanted to talk about what happened to anyone, not even the therapist I was ordered to see for a while after the accident. So in the end, I just…shut myself out from the world. Focused on my work rather than on my personal life. I didn’t want to let anyone in, because if I did, I’d eventually have to talk about what had happened again.”

Keith swallows, his heart suddenly beating faster for a whole different reason. “…You told me though. And you know I wouldn’t have pried.”

“I know,” Shiro says, now being the one to squeeze Keith’s hand, looking him deep in the eyes. His gaze is so soft, so warm, that Keith almost can’t bear it. But he forces himself to meet Shiro head-on. This is the moment of truth, he can feel it in his bones.

“But I wanted you to know,” Shiro continues. “I would’ve told you today no matter what. The…incident before just sped things up a little.” He lets out a soft chuckle. “I meant what I said back then, Keith. I want us to be honest with each other, and to go into whatever this is with both eyes open. Because…” Shiro swallows. “Because I really do care about you. More than I ever thought I would. You’re the first person who has made me feel like I want to let someone in again.”

Keith’s heart is in his throat, making it hard for him to breathe. His face is flaming as he reaches up to wrap an arm around Shiro with his free hand, trying to convey with his touch and his expression everything he feels right now. He’s not sure he could ever put it all in words. It’s so overflowing.

“I feel the same about you, Shiro,” Keith murmurs softly. “And I’m glad you felt like you could tell me.”

Keith sees Shiro shift a little in his spot, putting his free hand down on the bench to stay upright properly as he leans a bit forward, his face coming closer to Keith’s. Instinctively, Keith’s eyes softly land on Shiro’s lips, soft and shining from Shiro’s saliva in the light of the fake stars. His heart hammering, Keith lifts his eyes to Shiro’s, seeing everything he feels and more reflected in that warm gaze, Shiro’s pupils large in the darkness. Keith’s mouth falls open in a soft sigh.

Shiro closes the gap between them and catches that sigh with his mouth, pressing his lips to Keith’s in a soft, sweet, tender kiss. Fireworks burst to life behind Keith’s eyelids, his heart soaring to the spheres above, his core warm with tenderness.

This is the exact right moment. This is what they were waiting for. He’s ready now.

It’s perfect.

…

Keith’s lips are just as soft and sweet as Shiro always imagined them to be. The gentle touch of his mouth on Shiro’s immediately makes him burn for more. He wants to take Keith into his arms and take advantage of the quiet, beautiful, isolated space they’re in. To hold him and kiss him with tongue and passion, and show him how amazing Shiro thinks he is.

But they’ve been patient so far. They agreed to take it slow. And despite appearances, Shiro should keep in mind that anyone could walk in here at any moment. He shouldn’t take the privacy for granted.

So he pulls back gently from the kiss, opening his eyes to look at Keith’s lovely face as he opens his, stars reflected in his nebulae eyes as he does, warm and shining.

Shiro smiles at him. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.”

Keith returns the smile, his cheeks a sweet pink. “Me too. But is it weird to say I’m glad it happened now?”

“Not at all,” Shiro hums, squeezing Keith’s hand. “This was a good moment for us.”

“It felt right,” Keith says, his eyes gleaming softly.

Shiro can’t resist that look, gently moving to pull Keith into his chest, holding him. Keith’s hand around his back squeezes him, and they sit still like that for a bit.

“…What do you wanna do now?” Keith murmurs into the silence after a while.

Shiro’s heart thumps. He hadn’t thought about what comes after, too caught up in the moment.

“I don’t know,” he says honestly. “Didn’t have a chance to think about it.”

“We don’t have to go back out there,” Keith says softly, shifting to look Shiro in the eyes. “We can just leave and grab lunch or something if you’re not up for staying.”

Shiro licks his lips, thinking it over. He really had been looking forward to this exhibition and there’s still so much to see of it. And he feels so content and happy right now that he can’t imagine anything going wrong, much as that might be a false sense of security for him. He doesn’t want to leave yet.

“I think I can go back and see the rest of the exhibit,” Shiro hums. “I think I was just startled before. Perhaps I should’ve expected to see Icarus here, but I didn’t, and it caught me off guard.”

“Are you sure?” Keith asks. “I don’t want you to just be saying that because you think it’ll ‘disappoint me’ or whatever.”

“I’m not, I promise,” Shiro says, and impulsively presses a kiss to Keith’s forehead. “I’m ready to go back out if you are.”

Keith meets his gaze, looking deep into Shiro’s eyes, a determined frown to his brow, as if looking for something in Shiro’s face.

“Okay,” he says after a moment, shifting a little on the bench to get to his feet. His hand is still in Shiro’s so Shiro lets him pull him up with him. Keith smiles at him. “Let’s go check the rest of this shit out then.”

Shiro smiles back at him, squeezing his hand again. “Let’s.”

…

As they make their way through the museum, Keith does his best to make sure to keep an eye out for anything suggesting that Shiro is less okay than he outwardly wants appear. But his smiles and laughs appear genuine as they walk, talk and hold hands, passing through the rest of the exhibit. It doesn’t take long for Keith to relax and even revel in the joy he feels being with Shiro like this. He wouldn’t say it’s like Shiro’s attack never happened, because he doesn’t think it was all bad. After all, it did lead him and Shiro to be more honest with each other. And now, with everything out in the open, they can move forward freely. Keith allows himself to feel light on his feet, with the way Shiro looks at him and how warm his hand is.

They don’t kiss more in the museum, but that’s probably a good thing. Keith’s not sure how well he’d be able to control himself, given the way Shiro makes him feel. And they’re still out in public. It’s probably best to let things cool off a little and let them settle for a while.

It all feels like a dream. Keith’s chest feels so close to bursting with happiness.

At the back of his head, he’s aware that it’s not always going to be like this. There’s no way for things to last this way. This is one day of fantasy where he and Shiro can pretend the outside world doesn’t exist and there’s just the two of them in the universe without any complications. The dream will end sooner or later. He’s not sure if that means he and Shiro will also end, but if there’s one thing he knows, it’s that the honeymoon won’t last forever.

But for once, Keith also feels like right this moment, he doesn’t really care. He’s just too happy. And more importantly, he _wants_ to be happy. He’s tired of holding himself back and being afraid. It’s never brought him anything but more of the same, day after day. That’s no life, he doesn’t want to just exist anymore. He wants to be _alive_ , even if it’s for this little while.

He’s tired of being afraid of life, of the complications, of James, of having hope, of being loved, of _everything_. He’s been granted a little piece of heaven. He wants to seize it while he can.

The fact that he gets to ride on Shiro’s bike after they finish at the museum to go get something to eat feels like a further affirmation of that. Shiro is so sturdy and strong and warm in front of him as Keith holds on, the rush of the wind over him so thrilling he doesn’t even care about the cold. It makes him feel so alive. So _free_.

They sit in the restaurant for a long time, just talking, laughing and holding hands as they eat. By the time they leave, it’s already dark outside, the streetlights lighting the streets and their breaths visible in the cold air.

“Do you wanna fly to your place?” Shiro asks as he hands Keith his spare helmet that he wore before.

Keith’s eyes widen. “Could I?”

“Well, you said you used to fly, and I think it’ll work better if you know where you’re going,” Shiro says with a grin.

Keith’s own face spreads into a grin so wide that it hurts a little. He quickly puts on the helmet, grabs the keys from Shiro, and gets on the bike. Shiro gets in the seat behind him, just as sturdy and warm as he was before. A steady presence at Keith’s back.

A very large presence.

The ride back to Keith’s apartment makes his heart race and his blood sing, the rush of it more amazing than he even remembered. But it’s not all because of the hoverbike. It’s also Shiro, pressed up so close to him, somehow more intimate like this than when it was Keith pressed up against him. It’s an all too stark a reminder of how Shiro is like his every daydream of a perfect man, the way he kissed Keith so sweetly, and yet looks so good in his clothes today.

By the time Keith parks in front of his building, he’s thrumming with desire. His breathing comes out fast as he takes off his helmet, and Shiro is so beautiful in the glow of the streetlights. Keith feels like he could drown in the warm pools of his eyes, like he could lose himself in Shiro’s smile and the warm crinkles that accompany it.

“Well, this is me,” Keith says, shuffling his feet a little awkwardly, trying to appear nonchalant. Like he doesn’t mind that this day is about to come to an end.

“Yeah,” Shiro hums in a way that makes the word come out almost like a sigh. He gives Keith a soft smile. “I had a lot of fun today, Keith.”

Keith smiles back at him, his heart quivering in his chest. “Me too.”

He finds himself looking into Shiro’s warm eyes, his smile so sweet and his lips so soft. His heart is beating in his ears, and his hands and feet feel a little unsteady. But his desire is greater than his fear, Shiro’s beauty grander than his doubt. And Keith _wants_.

He doesn’t let himself hesitate any longer as he leans up on his tiptoes. Shiro, realizing what he’s doing, smiles softly at him as he meets Keith halfway for a kiss. It starts out as sweet and romantic, almost cautious, the way it had been in the planetarium. Except this one doesn’t end like that one did. They keep kissing, Keith wrapping his arms around Shiro to pull him closer as he throws caution to the wind and deepens the kiss. There is a fire burning inside of him and he wants more, more, _more_. He can’t get enough as Shiro moves to hold him in return.

Keith feels Shiro’s mouth open slightly, the tip of his wet tongue pressing against Keith’s mouth like a question. Keith hums, but it comes out more like a moan as he opens his mouth and lets Shiro in, meeting him with his own tongue. It’s messy, heated and passionate, and it makes Keith feel dizzy and warm, his cunt throbbing in his underwear the more he and Shiro kiss. He runs his fingers through Shiro’s undercut, feeling the prickly little hairs with the tips of his fingers and sighs with pleasure as Shiro shudders against him.

Keith doesn’t think he’s ever been kissed like this; in a way that makes him feel this good and cherished. Everyone before Shiro has always just _taken_ , barely giving Keith’s needs and wants much thought. At the time, it had been what Keith thought he’d wanted; an easy escape to forget about the world just for a moment and feed his need for any kind of touch. But those encounters had never been kind or pleasurable. The men didn’t care about him and Keith didn’t care about them.

But Shiro…Shiro makes him feel safe. Makes him feel good. Feel appreciated.

Breathing through his nose eventually becomes a bit too much of a hassle, so Keith forces himself to slowly pull back from the kiss. His and Shiro’s mouths leave a string of saliva between them as they part, and Keith feels molten lava at his core at seeing it. He keeps his arms around Shiro, and Shiro is still holding him too. They stay close as Keith looks him deep in the eyes.

Shiro’s pupils are dilated and he’s breathing hard, just like Keith is, their misted breaths mixing together between them. Keith’s heart is beating so fast, slick escaping to his underwear. Shiro’s face is flushed, Keith’s ears are tingling and ringing with blood.

It’s enough for him to throw caution to the wind and breathlessly murmur, ““Do you wanna come up?”

Shiro blinks, but only just. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“I dunno,” Keith admits, looking up at Shiro through his eyelashes. “But I know I want you to.”

He knows he’s stepping into dangerous territory here, especially since he and Shiro thought they were going to move forward slow. Maybe being so willing to go to bed with Shiro so soon and so easily just proves how little Keith’s grown over the years. Maybe he really is everything James always says he is.

But here in Shiro’s arms, with Shiro looking at him like that, Keith finds it difficult to care about any of that. All he cares about right now is this man and how much Keith wants him. He doesn’t want this dream to end just yet. And if it is going to end, he wants to end it with a bang, and enjoy it to its fullest for as long as he can.

“I want to, too,” Shiro murmurs, lifting his hand to tuck a bit of hair behind Keith’s ear from where it’s become loose from his ponytail. It’s such a small, intimate gesture that sends Keith’s heart to his throat. “But I just don’t want you to end up with any regrets.”

“I wouldn’t regret it with you,” Keith says. “At least so long as you wear a condom.” He tries to laugh, but the look on Shiro’s face doesn’t leave much room for that. “That…that was a joke. I’m on the pill. Not that I’ve really needed it.”

“Really?” Shiro asks, raising his eyebrows like he’s actually surprised.

“I haven’t been with anyone since my ex,” Keith says. “After I got pregnant…I wasn’t really up for anything casual, and I haven’t been dating.”

The risk of what had happened before, despite Keith having been on birth control by then, had been enough to turn him off the idea. He may love Callie, but he’s always known he couldn’t have another child under similar circumstances as he did her. Not when the first time nearly broke him.

Shiro gives him a long, serious look. “But you want…me? Now?”

“Shiro,” Keith murmurs, leaning up to press a soft, brief kiss to his mouth. “This may be too soon for me to say, but…I don’t see you as casual. Not after everything that happened today and after all we’ve shared. I really care about you and I trust you. I…” Keith swallows. “I wanna be with you.”

Now it’s Shiro’s turn to lean down and kiss him, this one lasting a moment longer than Keith’s. “I care about you too, Keith. I feel the same way.” He holds Keith a bit tighter, a bit closer. “If you’re really sure…I’d love to come up.”

“I’m sure,” Keith breathes out, his heart thrumming a steady, heart rhythm in his chest. He takes out his keys. “Come on. Let’s go.”

Shiro lets him out of the embrace, taking his hand instead. “Lead the way.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains smut. Tags apply.

Shiro lets Keith lead him inside his building and towards the staircase up. The building Keith lives in is clearly on the older side, but not in a bad way. The care and maintenance of it are easily visible in the new coat of paint on the walls, distracting attention away from the floors somewhat worn by time and multiple footsteps and the railings touched by many hands on the stairs. The building feels loved and cared for, homey and warm in a way that the pristine one Shiro lives in probably never will.

Shiro follows Keith up several flights of stairs in silence, and Shiro can’t help but think that if Keith climbs this many stairs every day (and he must, because Shiro doesn’t seen an elevator around), that might explain by his legs are so nice and toned. Given what Keith has indicated he’s been invited inside for, he thinks he’s now allowed to think stuff like that. To admit to himself just how attractive and lovely Keith is in his eyes, it adds to how much desire is thrumming inside of him, heating up his blood and drying his throat.

His heart thrums in his chest, making his hands sweat as they climb silently. Keith’s not the first man he’s been with since Adam, but there haven’t been all that many and it’s definitely been a while. It’s not that he doesn’t want this to happen, he does – he really, really does – but he also wants to make sure this is a good experience for the both of them. With the way his ex is, Shiro can’t imagine Keith has had too many good experiences when it comes to sex, and he truly hopes he can show him something different. To really make him feel good.

He begins reciting all his old tricks and things he used to do with his trans partners to make them sigh and moan. Of course every person is different and likes different things, but some universal ideas are a good place to start, Shiro figures. The rest of it, he and Keith are just going to have to talk about. Not that he minds the thought. It honestly makes heat pool at the pit of his stomach. He can’t wait to find out what Keith likes and to do all of that to him, to see what he looks like wrapped up in pleasure and to know he is the cause.

Shiro swallows hard as he reaches another floor, and sees Keith standing by one of the wooden doors that time and people have carved with lines showing its age. This must be it. As he steps closer, he can see the name on the mail slot reads “Kogane,” and the sight of it puts Shiro a little more at ease, warming him inside his chest. The welcoming sign in the shape of a black cat smiling and waving hanging on the door is also a personal little touch that makes him give it a smile.

Keith must see him looking at the sign as he puts a key into the door lock, because he says, “Callie saw that in a store and insisted we buy it for our door.”

Shiro to direct his smile at him. “It is pretty cute.”

He won’t say it out loud for fear of embarrassing him, but the cat actually reminds him of Keith a little. He wonders if Callie thought the same, or perhaps if she felt a kinship with the cat herself.

Keith gives him a wry smile over his shoulder as he turns the key and opens the door to let them in. “Sorry, it’s a little messy. I haven’t had the chance to clean up for the week yet.”

Keith steps inside first, clicking on the lights and starting to take off his shoes and coat. Shiro follows him inside. The apartment opening up in front of him is smaller than Shiro’s, but that is to be expected; most apartments are. But just like the building, the space is sweet and cozy, with the door opening up to a small mud area for the shoes and jackets, a few bigger and smaller sets already hanging there. Beyond that, the open area starts immediately, the living room space set to the left, and the kitchen with a dining table for four to the right. The furniture is mismatched and looking a little old, likely bought from flea markets, yard sales and thrift stores, but that only makes it all seem that much more charming to Shiro.

Further to the left, behind the living room windows there is a balcony, the door leading there from next to the television set. On the wall directly opposite to Shiro, there are two doors that likely lead to two bedrooms. There are some toys, books and clothes scattered around the room, but it is not honestly that messy. The things left around only make the place look more lived-in and like an actual home where happy people who don’t worry too much about appearances live. It’s nothing like Shiro’s pristine, perfectly designed and put-together place and that’s exactly why he immediately feels a little more comfortable. This is Keith’s home, and like the man himself, his apartment makes Shiro feel safe, content and a little bold.

“It’s a nice place,” Shiro says honestly as he takes off his shoes and coat and leaves them by the door.

“Probably not what you’re used to,” Keith says with a sly grin, stepping further inside with his own socked feet.

“That’s not a bad thing,” Shiro says, following Keith inside.

Keith shrugs, gesturing towards the kitchen. “Would you like something to drink? I don’t have any alcohol though.”

“I’m okay,” Shiro says, turning to face Keith, stepping a little closer to him. “I wouldn’t want to be under any kind of influence for this.”

Keith steps a little closer to him as well, wrapping his arms around Shiro’s shoulders once more, his eyes shining softly, lids lowered in an inviting manner. “Me neither.”

Shiro wraps his arms around Keith’s waist, Keith wrapping his own around Shiro’s neck, and without words, they quickly lean in to kiss. It’s a deep, passionate kiss, not unlike the one they just shared outside, but a little less urgent. It’s not a goodbye kiss this time. Shiro can take things slow, and really pour his passion and affection into the way he kisses and holds Keith, caressing his back over his clothes with his hands, feeling his lean, strong muscles below. He suppresses a shiver of desire as he feels them.

Shiro feels one of Keith’s hands reach to caress the side of his neck, and this time he really can’t mask the way his body trembles underneath the touch. Especially as Keith lets his fingers trail down, first to Shiro’s collarbones, then down to his chest, feeling his peck with his fingertips, light, teasing and intimate. Shiro hums against Keith’s soft, sweet mouth, as in return he lets his flesh hand travel up Keith’s back, all the way up to his head, until he blindly finds Keith’s soft, silky locks. He plays with the strands between his fingers for a bit, amazed by just how fine it feels to touch. It barely feels like human hair, more like the most incredible, showcase cat hair. Perhaps it’s a feature of Keith’s Galra side, one invisible and only showing through feeling.

Shiro plays his way up to the end of Keith’s ponytail, finding the band holding his hair up, and pulling it through the strands until he can feel Keith’s hair fall loose and free. Shiro winks open his eyes just for a glimpse of it, seeing the dark, long hair fall down on and past Keith’s shoulders like ink, the soft strands tickling Shiro’s fingers as he pushes some of it back.

He feels more than hears the hum of Keith’s mouth against his in a soft tremor, and Shiro can’t resist pulling back from the kiss just to fully admire the vision he’s just created. His breath catches in his throat at the sight of it; Keith has always had his hair tied up somehow when they’ve seen each other, and he’s beautiful like that. But seeing him with his hair down, his lips and cheeks flushed from their kiss, his eyes blown dark and his lips shining with saliva, makes Shiro’s heart ache and cock throb in his pants. He swallows hard.

Shiro reaches with his right hand to cradle the side of Keith’s face, feeling his warm heat against his palm like fire. “You’re so beautiful.”

Keith’s blush deepens against him, but he gives Shiro a smile and leans to nuzzle against his hand. “So are you.”

Shiro leans down again to give him a quick peck on the lips, before shifting to press their foreheads together. “Wanna move to the couch?”

For some reason, he feels Keith flinch in his arms. “Actually, I think my room would be better?” Shiro raises an eyebrow in a silent question. “I’m sorry, it’s just that the living room is where I spend time with Callie, and it’s out in the open, and…”

“I understand,” Shiro cuts him off gently, stroking his burning cheek with his thumb. “You don’t have to explain. We can go to your room.”

Keith lets out a breath. “It’s the one on the left.”

Shiro gives him a smile, giving him one last squeeze, before lowering his flesh hand to take a hold of Keith’s, and slipping away from him a little to pull him towards his room.

Keith’s bedroom is small, but the space is clearly being used compactly. The bed is a queen size with deep red sheets that suit Keith, pressed up against the left wall. Next to it, in front of a small window showcasing the night sky, is a desk with a lamp and old-fashioned notebooks and pens scattered around, as well as a solid, dark laptop. On the back of the chair in front of the desk, there are a few shirts piled on top of each other. In the right corner by the door there is a set of drawers for Keith’s clothes, and a little beyond that a door to the bathroom.

Shiro smiles to himself at the sight of the space. Just like the apartment, this looks like Keith’s room; spartan but with just enough to be comfortable. It suits him.

He doesn’t have much more time to take it all in, because Keith steps around him to take a seat on the bed, his hand still in Shiro’s. Shiro gives him a grin, letting Keith pull him down to sit beside him. Keith gives him a smile of his own, his eyes fluttering closed as he leans in to kiss Shiro again.

Shiro puts a gentle hand on his shoulder, putting a stop to his actions. “Keith,” he says gently. “Before we go any further, we should probably actually talk about what is actually going to happen here.”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “What is there to talk about?”

“I want you to be comfortable with what we’re gonna do,” Shiro says. “I can’t do that unless I know at least some of your boundaries; what you like and don’t like. What you’re comfortable with.”

…

Keith blinks several times in rapid succession, his shock a cold splash of water on him and his earlier warm, settled and comfortable arousal. The cold doesn’t stick around for long, but instead of returning to the earlier sweet, soft warmth, it’s replaced by the heat of embarrassed, nervous fire, right up to the tips of his ears, his heart hammering in his chest.

Keith lowers his eyes down to his lap, trying to hide his blush as he takes in a breath to try and calm himself. “Wow.”

He’s never actually had anyone ask about his boundaries or what he likes when it comes to sex. The men before have always just gone for it, done what they like and left it at that. And while he’d known in his gut and his heart that Shiro would be different, that Shiro would be kind and treat him well, he still hadn’t expected this to happen. Hadn’t expected this degree of care and consideration. And it’s doing nothing to damper his desire for Shiro. If anything, that flame burns even hotter. He can feel his whole body tremble as slick escapes into his underwear.

“Keith?” he hears Shiro ask softly, squeezing his hand. “Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” Keith croaks, sounding more pathetic than he intended. He bites down on his lips as he forces himself to look up at Shiro, just to retain some of his dignity.

He’s not sure what to do, what to say or how to act. A part of him wants to tell Shiro to just go for it like everyone else. Talking about this makes him feel so exposed, and so vulnerable. But he has a feeling that would just make things worse for both of them. And he and Shiro have been open and honest with each other so far. Keith should be able to do so in this situation, too.

Still, his head is swimming with far too many emotions to even come close to being able to talk about his own feelings just yet, so he stammers out, “C-can you start? I wanna know about you, too.”

Shiro smiles warmly at him, lifting a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind Keith’s ear. Keith swallows, sucking in a deep breath. It’s such a small, intimate gesture, but it sends his heart racing. Shiro looks so gentle beside him, so loving and kind, and Keith feels himself settle a little for it. This is Shiro. He’s safe with him. He doesn’t need to be scared.

“I like to see my partners feel good, because it makes me feel good to know I can do that to them.” Shiro’s voice is like warm chocolate in Keith’s ears, and it makes him thrum with desire. “I enjoy dirty talk, and I like to stretch out the pleasure as much as I can. I like to make my partners cum at least twice before I’m done with them.”

Keith takes in a few, shaky breaths that do nothing to make the heat inside him cool down.

“And you?” Shiro hums, settling his big, warm hand on Keith’s trembling shoulder. “What do you like? Is there something you dislike?”

“Um,” Keith lets out, and tries not to make it sound like a moan. He swallows around his dry throat. “I…like dirty talk too.”

Thoughts of Shiro taking his time with him, touching him sweetly, or roughly, but making him feel good regardless, circle around in his head. Keith feels dizzy with it, with the flush that must cover his whole body by now. He can’t think. He can’t be expected to talk like this, to make sense of his words, of everything. Shiro is just too good, too amazing and sexy and everything Keith has ever dreamed of. How is he real?

“And?” Shiro prompts, his voice warm and alluring. “Are you alright with penetration? How about me eating you out? Complete nudity?”

Keith’s heart is in his throat. He swallows hard again, trying to quell the urge to just jump Shiro.

“I…like penetration. It feels good.” He may never have been able to orgasm with a partner from penetration, but he knows he likes it. He certainly enjoys the single vibrator he owns, loving to play with his g-spot with it. “I’ve never actually been eaten out.”

Shiro raises both eyebrows, his dark eyes widening as he purses his lips. “Well, now I know what I wanna do first. That is, if you’ll let me.”

Keith licks his lips. “Y-yeah…I’d like it.”

He’d _love_ it.

“What about terms?” Shiro asks.

Keith blinks up at him. “Terms?”

“Do you have a way to refer to your body, your parts, that you prefer?” Shiro asks. “Like I said, I enjoy dirty talk. I don’t want to compliment you the wrong way, or make you feel uncomfortable.”

Keith has to swallow yet again. No one has ever asked him that; they’ve just always assumed. He may have been fine with the terms they used, but there was always something in his mind that regardless felt off about the way men before spoke to him in bed. After all, he wasn’t on T back when he first arrived in Marlton, and his body looked a lot different then. And although he’d never asked, because he hadn’t wanted to know, he’s always had a feeling more than a few of the men he’s been with really thought of his body and him as a girl, not the man he is.

“C-cunt…pussy, clit,” Keith murmurs, his tongue feeling strange in his mouth. “I’m fine with that. But my chest…it’s my chest.”

Shiro nods, saying nothing. Easy acceptance. No arguments.

“Speaking of,” Keith says, casting his eyes to the side. “I…haven’t had top surgery yet. Just so you know.”

Shiro gives another nod, his expression not changing. “Thank you for telling me. Does that mean you want to keep your shirt on?”

“No, I don’t mind it,” Keith says. “I’m pretty comfortable, it’s not like my chest is big or anything. And my…” He can feel himself blush deeper, something he didn’t even think was possible anymore. “My nipples are sensitive.”

“And you’d be comfortable with me touching them? Kissing them?” Shiro asks. His pupils are dilated and his breathing is heavy. It’s a bit of a relief to see he’s not as unaffected by their conversation as he seems. That Keith is not the only one feeling like a horny mess.

“Yes, okay?” Keith huffs. “So can we get to it now, please?”

…

“Fine,” Shiro says with a playful grin, reaching with his hand to the back of Keith’s head and quickly but gently pulling him into another deep kiss.

Shiro’s heart thrums in his chest as he feels Keith wrap his arms around his neck again, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss further. He lets out an appreciative hum, sliding his hand down to the back of Keith’s neck, stroking the skin at the side of it with his thumb through his long hair. His free arm he wraps around his lower back, below his leather jacket, feeling his slender lines and form once more through his hoodie. He feels Keith sigh against his mouth, and Shiro can’t resist nibbling at his lower lip just a little with his teeth; a gentle, playful touch, but enough to make Keith let out a whine that makes Shiro’s cock and heart jump in rhythm.

“W-wait,” Keith murmurs against his mouth, pulling back a little. Shiro is quick to lean back himself, swallowing hard at the sight of Keith’s flustered face and his dilated pupils. He tries to get his breathing under control, as Keith blurts out, “Let’s get a bit more undressed.”

Shiro, now that he’s not so focused on Keith’s mouth, can also feel that he’s getting a little overheated in his full outfit, making out hot and heavy like this. “Yeah, probably a good idea.”

Keith moves to slide his leather jacket off his shoulders with his hands, but Shiro stops him, placing his hands over Keith’s. “Let me?”

Keith’s cheeks turn a deeper shade of red, but he gives Shiro a small but firm nod, letting his hands fall away. Shiro takes that as his cue to grab onto the smooth, sliding fabric, pulling it down Keith’s shoulders and sliding it off his arms easily enough. The red leather falls down on the bed behind Keith, before sliding down onto the floor at his feet. 

“Just leave it,” Keith says, waving it off, before quickly putting his own hands on Shiro’s jacket. “Your turn.”

Shiro lets Keith start shuffling him out of his jacket with a little more effort than it took for Shiro, given the jacket is a little small on him. Not that that seems to put Keith off, an excited glint overtaking his galaxy eyes and a wide grin on his lips as he does his work; right up until Shiro is just in his shirt and jeans, and Keith can toss the jacket to join his on the floor. Immediately after he’s done, he practically jumps up to kiss Shiro again, leaning his hands on his shoulders and chest for leverage, sucking in a deep breath like he’s trying to consume all of Shiro.

Shiro doesn’t mind, pulling him closer into his arms, and Keith settles his legs across Shiro’s, just short of sitting on his lap. He plays his tongue against Keith’s, the way he did outside in the cold, trailing his flesh hand up into his hair. Through his hair, he touches Keith’s long neck again, feeling the tendons at the back of it, rubbing them with his fingertips. Keith hums against his mouth, and Shiro feels the shivers run through his body.

His other hand, he places at Keith’s waist, right where his hoodie’s hem ends. Shiro runs his fingers across it, feeling the lines of the fabric, teasing and questioning at the same time. Gently, slowly, he lifts the hem a little, one finger sneaking underneath. Keith has an undershirt on, but it’s thin enough that Shiro can make his touch properly known on his skin, caressing it with his finger in a back-and-forth movement.

Keith lets out a sound into Shiro’s mouth, pulling back a little, panting. “Take it off.”

Shiro swallows. Keith looks almost drugged with how flushed he is and how dark his eyes have become. He finds himself nodding almost numbly, moving as though in a haze as he lowers his flesh hand and helps pull the hoodie off Keith, leaving only a gray tank top on, along with a black sports bra peeking through it. Still, Keith has less on now, and Shiro gets to see a little more of his slender shape like this. He can properly admire his toned arms and strong shoulders. Shiro can’t help but reach out to caress them gently with his hands, his touch making Keith shiver again.

Keith gives him a smirk through his tremors, one that sends Shiro’s heart to his throat. “Your turn.”

His hands reach for Shiro’s sides in a rush, about to do the same for Shiro as he did for Keith. Shiro gasps in a breath, and he doesn’t even realize he’s moved until he feels Keith’s hands in the grips of his own, holding them tight and still. The back of Shiro’s neck prickles with anxious goosebumps as he feverishly meets Keith’s gaze.

Keith’s eyes widen in alarm as they meet his, his hands relaxing in Shiro’s hold. “What’s wrong?”

“I…” Shiro swallows around his quivering heart, trying to keep his tremors in, his shame hidden. “I’ve just never…since the accident…”

Keith lowers his eyes, biting his lip as he gives a soft nod. Shiro lets out a breath, releasing his hands. He should’ve known Keith would understand.

With his hands now free, Keith reaches with one to gently cradle the side of Shiro’s face, placing the other on his shoulder, meeting his gaze head-on, gentle and warm. “Is this your first time since?”

“No,” Shiro admits softly. “I’ve just always kept my shirt on. The way I look now…it’s not pretty.”

Keith leans forward, giving him a small, gentle kiss. Shiro welcomes it, drawing comfort and warmth from it. Keith’s lips on his own make him feel a little more settled, a little less like he’s just made a mess of things, or ruined the mood.

“Wait here,” Keith says, and as soon as the words leave his mouth, Keith whisks his legs over the side of his bed and rushes over to his dresser, pulling one of the drawers open and starting to rummage through it with his hands.

“A-ha!” he calls as he pulls out a black t-shirt, holding it up for Shiro to see in one hand. He makes his way back over to Shiro, settling next to him on the bed. He puts the shirt on Shiro’s lap, pressing it there gently with both hands. “You can put this on. It should fit you, and you won’t get as hot. I won’t look while you change, I promise.”

Shiro’s chest floods with warmth. Keith hadn’t even asked. He just wanted to help. He just wants Shiro to be comfortable, just like Shiro wants him to be in return.

“Thank you,” Shiro says softly, unable to find any other words to express what this means to him.

“No need to thank me,” Keith says, standing to his feet again, his back turned to Shiro. Shiro sees him start to open his pants with his hands while he’s standing, and he quickly takes the opportunity to slip out of his long-sleeved shirt and replace it with Keith’s t-shirt. It’s a little tight on him, smelling of musk, having been stuck in the drawer for a while, but not to the point of being uncomfortable. The fabric of it is smooth and soft, and Shiro can’t deny he actually kind of likes the way the shirt shows off his muscles, stretching tight over them, without showing his scars.

He turns to look up just in time to see Keith kick his pants off his legs, throwing them into the corner of the room in a messy pile and leaving Keith just in his tank top, sports top and red underwear. His legs are just as slender and toned as the rest of him, long and graceful in a way Shiro got hints of with the tight pants he wears, but can really appreciate them now that they’re bare.

His butt is quite nice too; firm and tight and just right for Keith’s proportions, the flashy-colored underwear only emphasizing it.

Shiro licks his lips, and doesn’t even try to fight the urge to go wrap his arms around Keith from behind; pulling his body, still warm from the clothes, against himself and gently caressing his tight, firm muscles with his hands. He tucks his face into Keith’s neck, mouthing at the skin in the spot where the neck meets the shoulder. Remembering the sound he made when Shiro caressed it with his hand before, he sucks a deep, intimate kiss there.

“ _Ah_ …” Keith sighs, shuddering and confirming Shiro’s theory.

“Looks like your nipples aren’t the only sensitive spot you have,” Shiro murmurs into his neck.

“Never… _hah_ , never said it was,” Keith breathes, his voice hoarse in a way that Shiro adores.

Shiro hums, his hands trailing the hem of Keith’s loose top. “Can I take this off?”

“If you take off your pants,” Keith retorts.

“I can do that,” Shiro says, starting to pull up the top with his hands, Keith adjusting his arms to let it slip off him, joining the other clothes on the floor.

Keith’s bare back surprises Shiro a little, and he lets out a soft breath.

“Wow,” he murmurs, placing the tips of the fingers of his flesh hand on the tight back, just barely caressing the star pattern inked there, starting from Keith’s right side and covering most of the expanding flesh, as a path leading up to his left shoulder. “It’s beautiful.”

“Oh,” Keith lets out, looking at Shiro over his shoulder with sparkling eyes, his cheeks flushed, but smiling softly. “I kind of forgot it was there.”

“When did you get it?” Shiro asks, trailing the stars with his fingertips.

“It was my eighteenth birthday present for myself,” Keith admits softly. “They’re meant to be stars in Daibazaal’s sky.”

Shiro hums softly, bowing down to press butterfly kisses onto the stars. His very own dear star boy.

…

Keith finds himself letting out a soft sigh as he feels Shiro’s warm lips touch his back, light as butterfly wings with his arms still wrapped around him, holding tight onto his stomach and waist. Shiro feels so big against him, behind him. Keith never thought he’d find that hot, but right now, it’s like he can’t stop trembling or getting wetter in Shiro’s embrace. It’s just so intimate and gentle, warm and soft. No one has ever treasured his body like this.

He’s never felt safe like this. Felt vulnerable like this. And it drives him crazy in all the best ways.

Keith can’t stop himself from turning around, waiting for Shiro to rise up a little so Keith can take his face in his hands and lean up to kiss him, wrapping his arms intimately around his shoulders. Shiro wraps his arms around his waist, his warm, big hands tight on Keith’s bare back causing him to shiver. He feels so naked in more ways than one, and yet he can’t help but want to be even closer. Even warmer. He wants to drown in it all.

He pulls back from the kiss softly, letting his hands fall down to rest on Shiro’s shoulders.

“Can I take your pants off now?” he asks, trying to sound playful, but fairly sure his voice comes out far too soft for that.

“Yeah,” Shiro says with a smile, giving him a small peck. “Mind if I take off your top?”

“No,” Keith breathes, lowering his hands down Shiro’s chest to work on his belt. The action requires him to bow his back just enough for Shiro to see the clasps of his sports bra. As Keith unbuckles his belt and starts to unbutton his pants, he can feel Shiro’s warm fingers finding the clasps of the bra and working on them, until it snaps open and releases Keith from its tight grip.

Keith rolls down Shiro’s zipper, before standing up to pull the straps off his shoulders and letting the bra fall down on the floor, leaving his chest completely bare before Shiro. Keith can’t quite meet his eyes as Shiro takes in Keith in just his underwear. He can feel his nipples tightening in the open air, hardening and perking up, and he fights the urge to cover his chest with his arms. Shiro needs to be able to look at him, to see for himself how Keith’s body looks.

He jumps a little at the hand reaching out for him, but quickly relaxes when it settles on his neck, the thumb raising up to rub his cheek, the touch of it comforting. And as he raises his eyes up, Shiro’s gaze is so warm and open.

“You’re so beautiful,” Shiro murmurs, for the second time that night.

Keith swallows, feeling his cheeks heat up, just like before. He’s not sure if he’ll ever get used to being complimented so openly like that.

“I see you’ve got more ink there,” Shiro says, briefly pointing just below Keith’s chest.

“Yeah,” Keith murmurs, rising his left hand to briefly thumb the words. _Calypso, 08.25.20XX_. Simple, but plain. His heart over his heart.

“It’s lovely,” Shiro says softly. “All of you is.”

Keith bites his lip, stepping back into Shiro’s warmth to start pulling his pants down his hips and kiss Shiro. He can’t quite put into words the storm of feelings coursing through his body, but he hopes he can help Shiro understand at least a little bit of it with his actions. As soon as the pants are low enough for Shiro to start moving his legs to get them off, Keith lift his arms to wrap them around him once more, his hands reaching into Shiro’s hair as he deepens the kiss by standing on his tiptoes. He can properly feel Shiro’s cock pressing against his leg like this, big and hard even through his underwear, and can’t resist grinding a little. Shiro groans against his mouth, moving his own hips to push against him a bit harder. Keith hums in appreciation.

Keith vaguely feels Shiro kick his pants off, but what he’s not prepared for is for the sudden shift in his gravity and perspective, as Shiro to picks him up at the waist and pulls him into his arms like he weighs nothing. He feels a little dizzy for the action, both from being so high up and for the sheer show of strength Shiro displays with this one simple action.

“Bed?” Shiro murmurs, his eyes gleaming as he looks up at Keith, still holding him up in his arms.

Keith feels his lips melt into a smile, leaning down to peck Shiro’s. “Take me there.”

Shiro moves the few steps needed backwards, laying Keith down gently before getting on top of him on the bed and kissing him hard again, caressing his sides with his big, calloused, warm hands. Keith moans softly against Shiro’s mouth, rolling his tongue against Shiro’s, his huge, warm body engulfing and covering him completely. Keith’s cunt gushes out more slick into his underwear as Shiro’s flesh hand settles on his chest, caressing with his hand and thumbing the nipple, and as Keith once again feels Shiro’s cock press against him. Keith lets out a high, desperate noise, squirming a little under the electric touches that make his skin thrum with pleasure.

Shiro detaches his mouth from Keith’s, shifting a little to press a kiss to his cheek instead. Then he leans down to tuck his head into Keith’s shoulder, to press kisses down Keith’s neck, continuing the trail of his lips down his shoulder and chest, until he reaches the free nipple. His hot breath on the hard nub makes Keith squirm and bite his lip, taking in a sharp breath.

“May I?” Shiro murmurs.

Keith lets out a soft noise of affirmation that comes out way higher than he meant it to.

But he doesn’t get much time to think about that as Shiro pokes his tongue out and gives an exploring lick with it, before starting to circles the nipple, using his thumb on the other one, and Keith has to bring his hand to cover his mouth just so he doesn’t shriek. No one has ever touched him like this, ever made him feel like this. It’s like he’s not in control of his own body, pleasure almost overwhelming him, and he has to hold his hand tightly over his mouth to keep quiet, to keep still.

Soon enough, though, his hand is barely enough anymore as he feels Shiro engulf the nipple properly with his mouth, gently sucking on the nub while also using his tongue on the sensitive tip of it. Keith can hardly keep still, his cunt pulsing in its confinement, soaking his underwear. Heat begins to build in Keith’s belly, one he’s familiar with, but never like this. Never so soon, never with someone else’s touch on him.

“Shiro…!” he groans from between his fingers. “Shiro, I think… _ah_ – I think I’m gonna…!”

“Do it,” Shiro murmurs on his nipple, the vibrations making Keith have to gnaw his lip to try and keep his noises at bay. “I want you to feel good.”

Keith, unable to do anything else, lets himself get lost in the pleasure, letting it flood over him like a wave until it bursts in the uncontrolled arch of his back and the ruining of his underwear.

Shiro gives his nipples a few more caresses as Keith trembles and tries to catch his sharp, shrill breaths, giving the nub a kiss before pulling off and leaning up to kiss Keith’s mouth instead.

“You’re insane,” Keith murmurs against his lips.

“I told you I like it when my partner feels good,” Shiro says with a playful smile, giving him another, softer kiss.

“Hmm,” Keith hums, shifting his hips up to grind against Shiro’s a little, against his hardness. All big and swollen, and all because of Keith. “Clearly.”

Shiro’s already flushed cheeks turn a darker shade of red. “Shut up.”

“Wanna put that big cock to use?” Keith asks, looking up at Shiro through his lashes.

Shiro kisses him. “Not yet. I told you I wanted to eat you out first, if you’ll let me.”

The warm but playful look in Shiro’s dark eyes is almost too much for Keith to bear. His eyes are like black holes, sucking Keith in. He quickly averts his gaze as his cheeks heat up. “You don’t have to do that. You already made me cum…”

“So?” Shiro asks. “I wanna make you cum again. And again. And _again_.”

Keith swallows. He wonders if he should tell Shiro this is the first time he’s ever cum with a partner, that Shiro has already given him so much more than anyone else he’s ever been with. That he’s the most attentive person Keith’s ever been with. That he makes Keith feel safe and settled, and like he might actually deserve to feel good like Shiro makes him feel.

All he can manage is, “I want you to feel good too, though.”

“I am,” Shiro says, and Keith feels a peck on his cheek. “I promise you, I am. Seeing you fall apart under me…I’ve never seen anything like it. You’re amazing.”

Keith feels his heart skip a beat as he turns to face Shiro again, seeing the warmth in his eyes, in his smile. For a moment, it almost feels like he can’t breathe.

“So if the only reason you don’t want me to eat you out is because you think I feel obligated or something, let me do it for you. It would make me happy,” Shiro says, smiling gently down at him, before giving him a soft kiss on the lips. “Please?”

Keith swallows, taking a deep breath to himself, and unable to say anything except, “Okay.”

…

Shiro gives Keith a smile and a kiss for his affirmation, his cock twitching at the mere thought of getting to taste him. “Thank you.”

He kisses Keith a little deeper once, before starting a trail of kisses down his neck, shoulder and chest, not unlike what he did before. Only this time, he keeps on going, pressing a light kiss on each of Keith’s perky nipples, causing him to gasp in a sharp breath and arch his shoulders a little, before kissing a path down his taunt stomach and continuing to the hemline of his underwear.

“Can I take these off?” Shiro murmurs, his lips half on the fabric, half on Keith’s skin.

“Yeah, sure,” Keith hums somewhere above him.

Shiro nods against him, putting his hands on Keith’s hips and on the clothing, before starting to pull down the underwear. Keith lifts himself up enough to let the underwear slide off and down his long legs, until he can kick them off to the side, allowing Shiro properly back between his legs, now completely bare and laid out before him like a meal.

The smell of Keith alone is almost overwhelming. It’s a little different from what Shiro is used to with other trans guys he’s been with – the scent of Keith’s cunt is almost sweet and a little fruity rather than the usual musk, but very inviting for its uniqueness. Shiro’s head feels fuzzy with it, almost intoxicated, and he can’t help but lick his lips smelling it, his mouth watering. Perhaps the smell is another Galra trait.

“ _Itadakimasu,_ ” he murmurs to both himself and to Keith, before pulling Keith’s knees over his own shoulders with his hands, pressing a kiss to his inner thigh, and leaving a trail of intimate, soft kisses up and up, until he reaches the juncture of his leg and his most intimate area. He takes a deep breath for himself, before pressing his lips on Keith’s lower ones, letting himself drown in his scent.

“Sh-Shiro!” he hears Keith cry above him.

Shiro smirks into his cunt, opening his mouth to let out just the tip of his tongue for a tiniest little lick for a taste. Keith’s taste is sweet like his scent, just a little; mild and pleasant on Shiro’s tongue. He quickly goes back for more, slowly trailing his tongue through Keith’s hairy lips, hearing his sharp breathing and muffled moans above him ring in his ears, until he reaches Keith’s stiff clit, flushed red like a strawberry.

Shiro gives it a light, gentle little kiss, feeling and seeing Keith’s body tense at the touch, letting out a soft little gasp. He sticks his tongue out and begins twirling it around the nub, circling it not unlike what he did with Keith’s nipple earlier.

“ _A-ah_ , Sh-Shiro…!” he hears Keith groan.

Shiro smirks internally to himself, basking in the way the clit quivers, how Keith’s whole body trembles and his breaths come out so sharp they sound almost like whistles in Shiro’s ears. Shiro’s so hard for this beautiful man, that he can’t help but rut a little against the bed.

“Shiro…Shiro!”

“Hmm,” Shiro hums, pulling his tongue back in, giving the clit another small kiss. “Does it feel good?”

“ _So good_ ,” Keith groans.

“You taste so sweet,” Shiro murmurs, pressing kisses into Keith’s hairy lips. “And your cunt is so pretty. It’s so red, and your clit is so big, Keith. I love it.”

He sticks his tongue out again, this time at Keith’s opening, licking a long, slow stripe from down to up. Keith trembles with it, and Shiro starts to properly use his tongue, gently entering inside Keith’s labia, swelling and opening up for him sweetly, giving him more slick to lick up and consume. He sticks himself deeper and deeper inside, until his mouth meets Keith’s cunt again; and he can fully drink him in, exploring his soft, spongy insides with his tongue as he does. Keith is so warm and wet around his tongue and Shiro can’t help but groan as he thinks about what he’d feel like on his cock.

Keith lets out a muffled cry above him, and Shiro hums again, twirling his tongue around. He snakes his flesh hand up, moving his fingers up to the clitoris again, starting to gently stroke it.

“Shiro!” Keith shouts. “Oh my god, that feels…”

“You gonna cum?” Shiro murmurs into Keith’s cunt, his voice muffled but vibrating against the flesh in a way that makes Keith shriek again.

“I’m gonna cum!” Keith cries. “Shiro…Shiro!”

Shiro pinches Keith’s clit, and his legs tighten around him, his back arching again as he screams out his pleasure. Shiro hums in contentment, slowly detaching himself from Keith’s cunt, giving it one final kiss of gratitude.

“There you go,” Shiro murmurs.

“Shut…up…” Keith pants, slowly sitting up. His pupils are completely blown, his chest rising quick and hard with each harsh breath; his face, ears, neck, and chest all flushed. He lifts up his hand, using the back of it to roughly wipe Shiro’s mouth of his own slick.

“Can I come up there and kiss you?” Shiro asks with a happy smile, his heart pounding in his chest.

“Yeah, come on already,” Keith says, gesturing with his hand. “And put your cock in me already, dammit.”

…

Keith is barely able to think, so worn out and dizzy with pleasure as Shiro leans up to kiss him. He can taste himself in Shiro’s mouth, the sweet odor that he has whenever he masturbates turned into a taste on the man’s lips. He’s never tasted it before, but he finds he doesn’t mind it from Shiro, wrapping his arms around his broad shoulders, humming happily at the closeness.

He’s never felt this good. And he doesn’t just feel good in terms of the sexual pleasure and satisfaction Shiro has given him, but also for the intimacy and care of it all. Every touch from Shiro seems so meaningful and tender, done with deliberation to make Keith feel not only good but like Shiro really cares. He strokes Shiro’s back with one hand, kissing him soft but deep, hoping he can make him feel like that too. Maybe someday soon, when he’s not feeling this fuzzy with pleasure, he can try to make Shiro feel good too. He used to be pretty good at blowjobs, after all.

For now, he mutters against Shiro’s mouth, “Please fuck me?”

“Yeah,” Shiro murmurs, giving him another kiss. “Yeah, of course I will.”

Keith nods softly. “Got that condom?”

“One sec,” Shiro says, leaning over the edge of the bed to reach for his pants, for the back pocket, taking out a packet of condoms.

Keith smirks to himself. “You sure came prepared.”

“Shut up,” Shiro says, quickly returning to Keith, giving him a soft kiss. “You should be glad. Putting a pause on things just to get a condom from the corner store can be a real mood killer.”

“Oh, I am glad,” Keith says, smiling up at Shiro, leaning up to give him another kiss. “More than you know.”

Shiro’s expression softens into a sweet smile, and he kisses Keith again, this time deeper and longer. “Wanna take off my underwear?”

Keith swallows hard, nodding. He places his fingertips below the elastic hem of the briefs, pulling them down to Shiro’s mid-thigh, letting his cock pop out. Keith can’t help the small gasp that escapes him, because… _damn_ , Shiro could do nude modelling on the side and Keith’s pretty sure no one would have any complaints. He’s uncut, long and thick, curving a little to the left, with heavy round balls and the head pearling with precum.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Keith hisses under his breath, reaching a hand to touch Shiro. He stiffens at the light brush of Keith’s fingers, Keith hearing him suck in a breath as Keith wraps a gentle hold around him.

He can’t even fully wrap his hand around that prick.

“Wow,” he hums, feeling the cock twitch in his palm, a little more precum spilling out and wetting his hand, easing the movement as make-shift lubricant.

Shiro hisses above him. “Stop, stop, or I won’t be able to give you what you want.”

Keith sucks in a disappointed breath. “Fine. Later, then,” he says, before glancing up at Shiro, holding out his free hand. “Pass the condom, I’ll put it on.”

Shiro gives the wrapper to Keith, who finally removes his hand off Shiro’s cock to carefully pull it open, revealing plain, white plastic. He shifts a bit on the bed to see better as he uses his fingers to put the round shape of the condom on Shiro’s cock;, pinching the head to let the air out, and then rolling it down, down, down to the root, stopping just shy of the balls. As Keith rises back up, he gives Shiro a kiss. Shiro joins in, kissing him deep and laying Keith back down on the bed, his prosthetic on his neck and his flesh hand teasingly on his chest.

“You still wanna do this?” Shiro murmurs against his lips.

Keith gives him a peck. “Never wanted anything more.”

He wants to say something more. Something meaningful. Something to show Shiro just how much he means to Keith; how much doing _this_ with him means to Keith. But all words seem lost to him right now. They feel inadequate, like they couldn’t possibly explain everything coursing through Keith’s body. Even the thought of trying feels foolish.

All he can do now is try and show Shiro.

He feels Shiro shift above him, and then he feels the intrusion at his entrance. Shiro’s cock feels even bigger there than in his hand, but Keith is also wet and wanting, and the idea of having that cock inside of him turns him on even more. He pulls Shiro down for a kiss, focusing on that and making himself relax his muscles. As soon as Shiro’s tip is held inside his cunt, he begins playing with Keith’s clit, too, sending shocks of pleasure down Keith’s spine. He feels himself getting even wetter, opening up for Shiro, ready to receive him inside.

“You okay?” Shiro asks, leaning down to kiss his neck.

“Fine,” Keith groans. “You’re so – _hah_ – big. It feels…feels so good.”

Shiro presses a kiss right below Keith’s ear, and Keith feels him enter a bit further inside him. “Good.”

It’s never been like this before, with anyone. Shiro is clearly being careful with him, still being attentive and making sure to give Keith pleasure as well instead of just being concerned with his own wants. He very easily could’ve just taken Keith the way he wants to, given he’s already made Keith cum twice. But he’s also Shiro. He’s more than proven he’s nothing like those other men. Nothing like James.

Shiro begins thumbing Keith’s nipple, and Keith’s breathing grows harder and heavier again, Shiro pushing further inside of him. He loses himself in the pleasure, holding Shiro and kissing him, caressing his back, and the back of his head with his fingers. Feeling so good, until he can finally feel Shiro’s balls hanging on top of his cunt.

He’s fully in.

“Holy fuck,” Keith groans.

“Do you need a minute?” Shiro asks.

“No,” Keith says, shaking his head. “I want you to move. You can do it hard. Just…kiss me.”

Shiro does, meeting Keith’s tongue with his own, caressing his cheek with his thumb as he slowly begins to thrust his hips. Keith groans against his lips. It feels so good, better than he ever thought it could. He feels like he’s melting as Shiro begins to put his back into the way he moves, hitting Keith in places that make him quiver all over, all the while still playing with his other sensitive spots.

“Keith,” Shiro groans, burying himself into his neck. “I…I can’t last long. I’m…I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay,” Keith says, rubbing Shiro’s back. “I’m – _haaah_ – close. Just cum when you wanna.”

Shiro leans back up to kiss him, his thrusts and other movements both starting to grow more frantic. Keith groans, heat pooling at the pit of his stomach again. He pushes his own hips against Shiro to meet his touch, one, two, three times, and…

Shiro muffles a shout into Keith’s mouth, but he keeps flicking Keith’s clit with his hand. And it’s more than enough to send him orgasming for the third time, feeling Shiro pulse inside of him so hotly, filling the condom.

Shiro softly pulls back from the kiss, panting against Keith’s lips, looking him deep in the eyes. At the sight of him, words burn at the back of Keith’s throat, and he bites his lip to keep them from spilling. Those words are dangerous enough in regular circumstances, but right after sex, they can be deadly. He can’t say them, and especially not now.

No matter how right they might feel at this moment.

With a frustrated little sound, Shiro pulls out his softening cock, taking the condom off and tying it up with his cum inside.

“Just toss it on the floor, I’ll put it in the trash later,” Keith says, lazily turning to his side.

Shiro carefully places the condom on the floor, slipping to Keith’s side to wrap his arms around him. Keith returns the gesture, his arms around Shiro’s waist and back. He can’t remember if any of his previous men ever cuddled him afterwards, but he definitely likes it with Shiro. It feels like the perfect culmination of what they just did; just as gentle and intimate.

He presses a kiss to Shiro’s clothed chest, right between his huge pecs. “You can stay the night, if you want. I have an extra toothbrush, just in case one of Callie’s friends stays over and forgets to bring theirs.”

Shiro kisses his sweaty head. “I’d love to stay. Truth be told, I don’t really wanna go home.”

“I don’t like being here alone either,” Keith hums. “I’m glad you’ve come to fill my time.”

“Me too,” Shiro murmurs.

As Keith burrows himself deeper into Shiro’s warmth, a thought occurs to him. “Hey, Shiro?”

“Yeah?”

Keith swallows, his heart in his throat. “This sounds lame, especially after sex, but…does all of this…everything we did today – does it mean you’re my boyfriend now?”

Keith feels Shiro shift against him, and he tries not to tremble as he stays silent. Tries not to doubt, not to expect too much.

“…Do you want it to?” Shiro finally whispers.

Keith licks his lips. “…I think I do.”

Shiro lets out a soft sound, almost like a chuckle, and Keith raises his head to see his smile, just in time for Shiro to kiss him sweetly. “Me too.”

Keith’s heart feels like it could burst with joy, and he leans up to kiss Shiro deeper, holding him tight in his arms, just to show him how happy he is.

For this one moment, everything feels perfect.


	9. Chapter 9

Shiro feels warm. This place is wonderful, like a cocoon of safety and happiness, allowing him to curl up and rest easy. Everything around him is so soft and smells so comforting. Footsteps sound somewhere in the distance mixing with the clang of hard plastic. The smell of fresh coffee and cooking grease tickles his nose. It makes his mouth water, but he can’t bring himself to open his eyes yet. He doesn’t want to wake up from this amazing dreamy space.

He buries his nose into his pillow. Keith’s smell immediately surrounds him, taking over all his senses. He’d been so warm to sleep next to last night. He’d felt like a steady, guarding presence, and Shiro had never felt so secure to fall asleep since his accident. They had been so bare in front of each other yesterday in every single way that matters; Shiro had felt completely safe to fall asleep, knowing whatever came, Keith would be there and he wouldn’t be alone.

He’d never felt like that with anyone, not even with Adam during their best years. And Shiro had generally avoided sleeping in the same space, let alone the same bed, with anyone since he lost his arm. His nightmares had dwindled over the years, but the mere thought of anyone seeing him in the midst of one had always terrified him. At the same time, he’d never felt completely safe falling asleep without anyone close by to guard him, as much as he hated admitting that. He’d never been completely content with the way he slept.

Until now.

Still keeping his eyes closed, but smiling a little to himself, Shiro reaches out to his side with his hand, trying to find Keith to pull him in closer for a cuddle, his heart close to bursting with warm affection. He shifts his hand around, reaching blindly for a warm body, but no luck. All Shiro finds are cool sheets.

His eyes pop open, revealing an empty spot where Keith was. Listening to the noises just beyond the bedroom, Shiro lightly hits himself with his fist. Of course Keith can’t be in bed next to him if he’s out there, and who else could it be in his kitchen.

With a groan, Shiro sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes before shifting his legs over the edge of the bed. He yawns big and wide once, scratching his head, as he gets to his feet, still dressed in his underwear that he had put on when he went to brush his teeth last night, and the t-shirt Keith had given him before. He heads to the door of the bedroom, left slightly ajar to let light in.

Shiro opens the door a little more with a slow, gentle movement, peeking his head out. The smell and sound of bacon and eggs cooking on a pan in grease almost overwhelm him, making him shudder and his mouth water again as his stomach growls with hunger. Keith stands behind the stove, as expected, wearing an apron over the clothes he wore to bed last night; a long-sleeved pajama top and some boyshorts with his hair pulled back in a messy ponytail. Shiro feels his heart swell at the sight, and he can’t help the dreamy breath that escapes his lips. The scene is so domestic, so homey. Keith is beautiful in the morning light, looking so carefree in his appearance but still so focused on his task with the way his brows are furrowed. He doesn’t even seem to have noticed Shiro is awake, putting all his effort and attention to the task at hand.

The sight of him is just as comforting as his presence was last night. Shiro wouldn’t mind having him close like this every night, and every morning following that.

He shakes that thought off before he can get too carried away, quietly stepping through the bedroom door and making his way over towards Keith in his little kitchen area, one he didn’t get to see much of last night. The countertops look worn, but the stove has probably been renovated; it’s black and steel and neat, working well for the needs of a small family, or so Shiro imagines. It’s not like he knows that much about stoves or cooking.

Keith finally seems to sense his presence, too, since he looks up to meet his eyes from his two pans – one frying eggs and bacon, the other cooking pancakes. There is a small pile on one of the three plates behind the pans already, the other two are empty.

“Morning,” Keith says, giving him a warm smile, his eyes soft as they meet Shiro’s.

Shiro can’t resist that look on his face. Can’t resist Keith, period, now that he knows he doesn’t have to. He leans down with an affectionate smile of his own, seeing Keith shake his head, but meeting him halfway with his own smile and a soft kiss.

“Good morning,” Shiro says softly, moving to wrap his arms lightly around Keith from behind, pressing another kiss to his cheek, and then another to his neck. “That smells great.”

“It’s almost done,” Keith says, bumping Shiro’s hip to give himself the needed space to turn around and point towards the counter behind them, where a black coffee maker rests. “There’s fresh coffee in the pot if you want some. There are mugs in the cupboard directly above it. Sugar is at the table and there’s soymilk in the fridge.”

Shiro gives him a squeeze around the waist, giving his cheek another, slightly longer kiss. “You’re amazing.”

Keith’s cheeks flush a sweet pink, but he smiles. “It’s nothing.”

“No, it is,” Shiro says. He gives Keith one final squeeze before letting go and heading over to the coffee maker, finding himself a mug where Keith said they’d be. None of the mugs in the cupboard match, but Shiro finds that charming. He takes one that has a drawing of a cat on it. “I can’t even remember the last time someone cooked for me like this.”

Shiro pours himself coffee, and heads over to the fridge to look for the soymilk.

“I’m used to it,” Keith says, Shiro looking up just in time to see him flip another pancake in the pile.

Shiro takes out the soymilk, pouring a generous amount into his cup. “I wish I could spoil you in return somehow though. But you probably wouldn’t like my cooking.”

“You spoiled me quite enough last night,” Keith says, giving him a smile that is both warm and teasing as Shiro heads over to the table and pours himself a few spoonfuls of sugar from the dish there.

“Still,” Shiro says, leaning against the tabletop and taking a sip of the coffee, perfectly brewed and wonderfully hot on his tongue. “You didn’t have to do all this. I kind of missed you in bed.”

Keith’s cheeks redden. He clears his throat. “It’s kind of a reflex. Callie is cranky in the mornings before she gets something to eat or drink.”

Shiro hums for the lack of a smarter response, sipping his coffee again as he watches Keith put the eggs and bacon on the two empty plates and turning off the stove. Shiro is just about to rush over to help him carry the plates, but Keith takes all three of them expertly balanced over his arms, carrying all of them with ease towards the table.

“Wow,” Shiro says as Keith puts the plates down on the table, already set with two opposing seats. “Didn’t realize you could do that.”

“Before I graduated, I mostly worked as a waiter.” Keith shrugs, sliding into one of the chairs in front of the plates. “Sit down, I don’t want the food to get cold.”

Shiro smiles, and does as he’s told, his coffee mug still in hand. He takes a fork in hand, sticking it into one of the fried eggs, pulling it to his plate. “Itadakimasu.”

Keith’s cheeks turn a flaming shade of red, and he buries his face in his hands. “Stars, will I ever be able to unhear that word now?”

Realizing what he’s talking about, Shiro feels his own cheeks heat up. But he can’t stop himself from grinning. “But it was good, right?”

“Shut up,” Keith huffs out. “ _Yes_ , it was good, Shiro. _Stars_.”

Shiro begins cutting into his egg, licking his lips. He wonders if he should ask Keith to call him Takashi, now that they’re officially dating. Adam used to do it, and it always felt more intimate that way. He was the only one who called Shiro that aside from his Grandpa, and when his Grandpa had passed away…Adam had been the only one.

He shakes the thought away for now. He can think about it later. Right now, he just wants to focus on the present; on Keith, and the wonderful breakfast he made for them. He takes some egg into the tip of his fork, and puts it into his mouth.

Flavor explodes on his tongue.

“Keith,” he says, mouth still full. “This is…so good!”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Keith says with a grin. “But thanks.”

Shiro tucks into his eggs and grabs some bacon and a pancake to go along with it, and he and Keith eat in comfortable silence of cutlery clinking, chewing and sipping.

After a moment, Shiro swallows, and opens his mouth. “What time is Callie coming home today?”

“James usually drops her off around six,” Keith says. “Though I should probably clean and do the laundry before that. I don’t have as much time during the week when she’s here.”

Shiro nods. He can take a hint. “I’ll just finish this wonderful breakfast you made for us and then I’ll be out of your hair.”

Keith’s eyes widen, his face turning a bit pale in alarm. “No, no, that’s not what I meant-”

“It’s okay, Keith,” Shiro says kindly, holding up a placating hand. “We’ve pretty much spent the last twenty-four hours together. I get it if you want some alone time after that.”

Keith bites his lip, lowering his eyes in hesitation. After a moment, he raises his gaze to meet Shiro’s again through his lashes. “…You sure you don’t mind?”

“I’m sure,” Shiro promises with a nod and a smile. “I wouldn’t mind going for a run myself.”

“I could join you sometime,” Keith says, returning his smile.

Shiro reaches over with his hand, taking a hold of Keith’s and bringing it over to his mouth for a sweet kiss. “I’d like that.”

…

Keith’s heart beats a steady, happy rhythm as he and Shiro finish up their breakfast, holding hands and occasionally giving each other small smiles across the table. Everything feels so light inside of Keith as he thinks about last night. Before going to sleep, and Shiro had lied in bed for hours, cuddling in the nude and just talking. It felt almost more intimate than what they had done before, and now Keith truly feels like they know exactly who the other is and where they stand.

It’s a freeing, wonderful feeling, one he didn’t expect to have. Although he’s gotten better at his over the years, he’s always hated being vulnerable around people, because that gave them the edge over him, knowledge they could use to hurt, or use him later. But with Shiro, it feels like he can trust him not only to not do either of those things, but also not judge him. When he’d told Shiro about all the other men, all Shiro had done was pull him into a hug. It didn’t even feel like pity, which is another thing Keith is used to getting, but hates. In Shiro’s arms, he’d only felt safe and warm..

The only thing Keith hasn’t talked about in detail is his relationship with James. It didn’t exactly feel like the right kind of topic for being in bed with his new boyfriend. He’d hinted that he would tell Shiro more later, and Shiro hadn’t pushed. But honestly, when they’re together, every problem he’s had or still has with James feels so much more insignificant to Keith. Being with Shiro makes him forget his troubles, his sorrows and worries; makes him feel at ease and like he can enjoy himself. Not only that, but Shiro makes him feel brave. Like he can even take on James. Like he can take on anything.

He squeezes Shiro’s hand as a silent gesture of gratitude, smiling towards him.

“What are you thinking about that makes you look so happy?” Shiro says, giving him a smile of his own.

Keith feels his cheeks heat up, but he doesn’t stop smiling. “You.”

He delights in the way Shiro’s cheeks redden, as well as the way he blinks owlishly at Keith. He never thought he’d be sappy like this, but being honest with Shiro just feels so natural now. He doesn’t want to lie or hide how he feels, and he doesn’t feel like he needs to, either.

Shiro clears his throat, setting down his cutlery. “Anyway…thank you again for the food, it really was great.”

“You’re welcome,” Keith says with a grin, starting to get to his feet to collect the dishes.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Shiro says, holding up a hand. “Let me clean up and do the dishes. We’re not animals. You cooked, so I should clean.”

“But you’re the guest,” Keith says. “And it’s no big deal.”

“I added to your chores, so let me help at least this much,” Shiro insists.

“I would’ve cooked breakfast anyway,” Keith says. “It’s only a plate and a pan more. I can do it.”

“Keith,” Shiro says slowly, his brows furrowing. He brings Keith hand over to his chest, holding it between both of his palms. “Please let me do this. I’d feel really bad if I made you do it. My Grandpa didn’t raise me to be so ungrateful.” He looks directly at Keith with wide eyes. “Please?”

“Ouch, you used your Grandpa,” Keith says. He sighs, shaking his head. “Fine, you win, Shirogane. You can probably find the dish soap and the sponge, since they’re around the sink. I’m gonna go and put in a load of laundry.”

“Sure thing,” Shiro says with a grin, getting to his feet and starting to pick up the dirty dishes.

Keith shakes his head at him, but he’s smiling as he goes around the apartment, gathering up dirty clothes lying around and putting it into the laundry basket, before going to the bathroom and starting to load up the machine.

He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but the thought of not having to do the dishes from breakfast on top of everything else feels like such a load off his back. He’s never had a partner to help him with chores and everyday domestic things like this, although Hunk was sometimes nice enough to clean his apartment when he was babysitting Callie when Keith was too busy to keep things tidy and clean. He can’t help but think how nice and easy it would be to have that all the time, to not have everything constantly on his shoulders.

He shakes his head as he finishes loading the laundry and puts in the detergent. It’s far too early to be thinking of such things. He and Shiro’s plan to move forward slowly, kind of took a hit last night, too. It would probably be a good idea to put the breaks on for a little while to get back on the right track, before they both get too drugged by the honeymoon period to think clearly. Shiro leaving to go back to his place for a bit will do them both good. They’ll have time to spend apart and think about things, to take in everything that has happened, properly.

No matter how much Keith’s not looking forward to that period of separation.

He turns on the washing machine with a sigh, the thought of going back out heavy on his mind. As much as he enjoys Shiro’s company, it is true that Keith has spent nearly all of his social spoons in the last twenty-four hours with him. And since Shiro is focusing on the dishes, he supposes he can spare a few minutes.

He sits himself on top of the washing machine, browsing social media on his phone for a bit, occasionally checking the time. After fifteen minutes have passed, he feels readier to go back out.

Shiro is still at work before his sink when Keith steps into the open area of his apartment.

“Hey, is it okay if I start vacuuming?” Keith asks him.

“Go ahead,” Shiro says to him over his shoulder.

Keith goes to get the vacuum cleaner, starting to go around the apartment with it. Shiro steps aside for him with a grin when he gets to his space, and by the time Keith is finished with the open area, Shiro taps him on the shoulder to get his attention.

Once Keith has turned the vacuum off so they can talk, Shiro gives him a wry smile. “I’m finished with the dishes. I wasn’t sure where everything goes, so I left them in a pile on the counter, but they’ve been washed and dried.”

“Alright,” Keith says, “Thank you.”

“So....yeah,” Shiro says with a semi-awkward shrug. “I think I’m gonna go get dressed, and then I’ll head out.”

Keith nods through the twinge in his chest. “Okay.”

Shiro reaches out his hand, and Keith takes it, using it as leverage to step closer into Shiro’s space, looking him deep in the eyes.

“I had a wonderful time with you, Keith,” Shiro says softly.

“Me too,” Keith says. “We should do it again.”

“You can text me whenever,” Shiro says. “We’ll make plans.”

Keith nods. “I have longer shifts next week, so I might not be able then. But probably the week after that at least.”

“I’ll see you then. Just let me know,” Shiro says, before starting to lean in.

Keith meets him halfway in a soft kiss.

They don’t linger in it for long, Shiro gently untangling himself from their joint mouths. “I should go; let you get to your things.”

Keith nods. “Okay.”

Shiro nods in return to him, pausing for a moment, before heading towards Keith’s room to presumably get his clothes. Keith turns the vacuum cleaner back on, heading towards Callie’s room.

By the time he comes back out, Shiro is standing by Callie’s door, fully dressed in yesterday’s clothes. Keith turns the vacuum off again.

“Well, I’m heading out,” Shiro says.

“Have a safe trip,” Keith says. “Text me when you get home.”

“I will,” Shiro says with a smile. He leans in for one more kiss, and Keith returns it with a small smile. “Have a good day, Keith.”

“You too.”

Shiro gives him one last look, before heading towards the door. Keith almost wants to watch him go, to see as he leaves until he no longer can, but that would be a little too much even for everything that has happened. So instead, he just turns the vacuum cleaner back on and heads towards his own room.

Still, seeing the space where so much happened yesterday makes Keith’s heart thump happily in his chest. He has a boyfriend now. A real one, a good one that treats him well. He just had his first orgasms with a partner. He went on a _date_ and was kissed in a planetarium like he was in a romantic movie.

It’s more than enough to make him feel a little dizzy with happiness.

…

Shiro flies his hoverbike home, his heart fluttering with happiness. It carries him up to his apartment, where he quickly sends off a text to Keith before changing into his running gear. He throws yesterday’s clothes into the laundry, but he refrains from washing himself until he’s gotten a bit more sweat in for the day.

Just as Shiro is about to leave his apartment in his running gear, his phone vibrates in his pocket with a message. He pauses in tying his shoes to check it, just in case it’s something important. Or maybe Keith.

He tries not to be too disappointed that it’s not.

**_Hunk:_ ** _I know I said I wouldn’t pry, but I gotta know. How was ur date with Keith???_

Shiro smiles to himself, shaking his head. He supposes he couldn’t expect Hunk or any of their other friends to completely butt out. He might even worry if they did. And he supposes he owes Hunk at least a little bit for setting him and Keith up in the first place.

**_Shiro:_ ** _Really well :). I told him everything and I think we’re on the same page now._

**_Hunk:_ ** _!!!_

**_Hunk:_ ** _I…don’t think I can be content with just that! Deets, deets!_

Shiro chuckles.

**_Shiro:_ ** _Later ;). Patience yields focus._

With a playful grin, he puts his phone on silent and puts it back in his pocket. He finishes tying up his shoes and rushes out of his apartment and his building. The late morning air outside is crisp and cool, just perfect for a run, and Shiro feels light on his feet as he jogs through the familiar streets and parks. He can’t stop smiling even as he softly pants through his movements and sweats it out. He’s just so happy. He’d completely forgotten how wonderful it can be to begin a new relationship. To have someone feel the same affection you feel, and have all those new first experiences with that someone.

In some ways, Shiro feels almost silly for having waited this long to become involved with someone again, but he’s also glad. This feels right; like it couldn’t have happened any other way. _Keith_ feels right, feels good, feels safe in the best way. Shiro can’t wait to build on, and up from what they already have. Make this into a real relationship for the two of them.

Perhaps it’s too soon to be thinking along those lines, and Shiro vows to himself that he won’t push for more than he or Keith can really handle. But at the moment, it’s just what he feels. He’s just too happy to hold back and try not to think this way. It’s not like thinking it hurts anyone.

…

Keith has just finished hanging his clean load of laundry up to dry and is considering taking a shower when his phone begins ringing in his pocket. He takes it out, seeing Hunk’s picture and name flashing on the screen.

He accepts the call and puts the phone against his ear. “Hello?”

_“Dude, you gotta give me something about you and Shiro here!”_ Hunk’s voice rings high and eager in his ear. _“He won’t answer my texts!”_

“Oh, the horror,” Keith says with a playful grin, rounding the couch and plopping down to sit. “An apt punishment I’d say for trying to pry into our business.”

_“Oh, come on, Keith!”_ Hunk groans. _“He said your date went really well yesterday! I need to know at least a little bit more about what that means! You wouldn’t even have been together yesterday without me and Pidge!”_

“We did have a nice time,” Keith admits, his lips spreading into a soft, wistful smile. Before, Hunk and Pidge’s meddling might’ve been a little annoying. But things are on a good course for him and Shiro now. He doesn’t have to lie or pretend anymore.

Images of last night pass across Keith’s eyelids as his heart speeds up in his chest, and he lets out a wistful sigh. Honestly, he kind of does want to share his happiness and spread it around. And Hunk has always been there to share everything with him, so why not this, too? That’s what best friends do with each other, isn’t it?

_“Keith? You still there?”_ Hunk’s voice spurs him from his thoughts.

“Yeah, I’m still here,” Keith says. “We went to the museum and we had a lot of fun. Afterwards we went to dinner and I got to ride and fly Shiro’s bike. We walked and we talked, and…”

_“And?”_ Hunk prompts. _“What?! Spill already!”_

“…Would you think less of me if I told you I put out on the first date?” Keith hums, feeling his cheeks flush, his heart in his throat.

There’s a moment’s silence, only covered by Keith’s breathing and his pounding heart in his ears.

_“Oh my god, Keith!”_ Hunk cries on the other end so loud that Keith has to pull his phone away from his ear. _“Of course not! I told you Shiro would show you a good time.”_ He pauses. _“It was good, right?”_

“So good,” Keith admits with a chuckle. “I…I really like him, Hunk.”

_“I’m so glad, Keith,”_ Hunk says, his voice warm in Keith’s ear. _“I mean it. You deserve all the happiness in the world.”_

“…I really hope it all works out,” Keith says softly.

_“Me too.”_

Keith clears his throat, deciding to change the subject. “How about you? How has your weekend been? Anything interesting happen?

_“Well, I finally got Pidge to go out for dinner instead of just staying in all the time,”_ Hunk says, joy clear in his tone. _“I might love cooking for her and all, but she needs to get out of the apartment once in a while. We had a good time; it’s been a while since we’ve been out on a proper date.”_

“Sounds good,” Keith says. “Anything else?”

_“Nothing much,”_ Hunk says. _“I’ve just been catching up with some stuff. Oh! I did manage to talk to my family though. They’re hoping me and Pidge will come over for the holidays.”_

“How does Pidge feel about that?” Keith asks.

_“I haven’t had a chance to talk to her about it yet,”_ Hunk admits. _“But it’d be nice if we could negotiate something. I know she really wants to see Matt for Hanukkah, but it’s been a long time since we’ve been to see my family, and I miss them.”_

“Don’t let her push you around into doing things,” Keith says. “Let me know if you want a backup.”

_“Don’t worry. She pushes me around a lot less than you’d think,”_ Hunk says gently. _“I doubt we’d work out together so well if she did.”_

“I know,” Keith says. “I do know that. You guys have always been so great together. I’m…a little jealous, honestly.”

_“You’ll get there too. I’m sure of it,”_ Hunk says. _“I think Pidge is just worried my family will pester her about rings and kids if we visit.”_

Keith licks his lips. With Hunk and Pidge having dated for so many years and now having lived together for a while as well, it is a common topic for hounding from both of their families. He knows his friends want to wait until at least they’ve both graduated to even consider marriage. He also knows Pidge is not ready to have kids, wanting to focus on her career before then. He also knows that Hunk does want kids eventually. He’s often wondered if he should ask if the two of them have ever talked about these things, but it’s not really something he’s ready to throw a wrench into if they haven’t. And it’s certainly not something to bring up over the phone like this.

“I know,” he says. “I’m obviously not an expert on family, but maybe you could talk to yours about it? Say you won’t come if there’s even a slight chance of pestering?”

_“That…might be a good idea, actually,”_ Hunk says. _“I’ll talk to Pidge about it soon.”_

“Cool,” Keith says with a smile. His eyes fall down on the digital clock on the TV. “Sorry, I gotta go. I still need to shower before Callie and James get here.”

_“Okay, sure. Hug Callie for me?”_ Hunk says.

“Of course,” Keith says. “Talk later?”

_“For sure,”_ Hunk says. _“And take your own advice, Keith. Don’t let Jackass push you around.”_

“I’ll do my best,” Keith says softly, trying not to make his voice come out like a sigh. “Bye.”

He clicks the call off with a press of his thumb, setting the device down on the coffee table as he heads towards his room and the joint bathroom for a shower. He can’t have even a trace of the smell of sex on him when James and Callie arrive.

…

Shiro runs for a little over an hour before heading back to his apartment. He tosses his phone and keys on the coffee table and his sweaty clothes into the hamper with his other clothes before immediately hopping into the shower, turning up the heat and warming himself up from the cold sweat gathered on his skin. He lets his muscles rest, breathing in the steamy air.

Once he’s warm and relaxed he grabs a sponge and pours some shower gel on it. He begins running the sponge across his skin, firm but gentle in a type of semi-massage for himself. As he goes down his chest, his eyes and thumb inevitably brush over his scars.

As bared as he and Keith had been with each other last night, Shiro still hadn’t shown him this side of him. He still can hardly believe how gentle Keith was about it. But of course he would be; he hasn’t been anything but with any of Shiro’s other hidden sides. And as Keith proved later, he, too, still has some things he would prefer to wait to disclose. As open as they had been with each other yesterday, Shiro finds he doesn’t really mind that either. He doesn’t expect every secret and every story to come out immediately. He and Keith have time. They can wait and sound things out, see when the right time is to talk about and share other things. That’s how they’ve worked so far, after all, and that’s something Shiro appreciates about their relationship as well, even if he also appreciates the honesty. But there is also something honest about saying you’re not ready to share something just yet.

Shiro feels certain he can share his scars with Keith one day, too.

He can almost imagine it already. Keith would probably thank Shiro for sharing this side of himself with him. He’s maybe give him a kiss, and then press his lips down Shiro’s chest. Kiss every scar he could find until Shiro would feel like there was nothing to be ashamed of…he might even keep going…keep going down, until he was on his knees. Would he look up at Shiro through those long, dark eyelashes? Would he be coy, shy, or cocky as he’d stick out his tongue and give Shiro a little lick…?

Shiro swallows and shivers, arousal pooling at the pit of his stomach, blood flowing down to his cock. He snorts, shaking his head at himself. He feels like a boy again. When was the last time he’s been this eager for sex? He just had some last night and already he’s ready for more.

But the good thing about having already had sex with his boyfriend – his _boyfriend_! – is that Shiro hardly feels guilty as he gently takes his cock in his left hand, gently playing and touching himself the way he likes. He can almost see Keith before him, giving him exploring, soft licks with his pink tongue, the apples of his cheeks flushed rosy and his beautiful eyes shining and dark. Shiro teases his head between the circle of his thumb and index finger, thinking about Keith’s open red mouth taking it in, teasing the slit with his tongue.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Shiro hisses, tugging a little harder at himself. “So good, baby…”

Shiro pants out a few times, before taking himself properly in hand and stroking, his heart pounding in his ears. He reaches down with his prosthetic to play with his balls, biting his lip as he imagines Keith taking him into his mouth. He would probably have to work up to it the first time, since Shiro is of considerable size, but he’s sure Keith could eventually do it. He’s not the type to give up easily.

“You’re doing so well,” Shiro finds himself murmuring. “You’re so amazing, Keith.”

He can feel the heat and tightness building up in the bit of his stomach like a volcano about to erupt. If he wanted to, he could take his time and draw this out, but he’s starting to shiver without the shower and he’s feeling a little lethargic from his run. So Shiro lets the fantasy guide him, working himself gentle but hard, just the way he likes it, until he feels himself just about to cum.

He closes his eyes, and imagines Keith taking him all the way in, swallowing every last drop Shiro has for him.

_“_ Fuck, fuck, _fuck_ ,” Shiro curses as he feels himself spill all over his hand.

He gives himself a few deep breaths to gather himself, before turning on the shower again, letting the warm water wash away his seed and the soap covering his body, using the sponge on his skin again, letting his breathing and heart rate settle. He takes some body wash to properly clean his hand before reaching for the shampoo and quickly washing his hair.

Feeling much more refreshed afterwards, Shiro puts on a warm bathrobe and heads towards his living room, flopping down on the couch. He turns the TV on to play some sort of Altean soap opera, leaning back against the couch with a content sigh. There’s nothing quite like an orgasm to help him relax.

…

In the shower, Keith makes sure to wash and scrub himself thoroughly, rubbing off any possible lingering residue smells. It’s kind of a shame; he sort of liked having Shiro’s scent all over himself. But he can’t risk it. He’s nowhere near ready for that.

Besides, this is just about the only possible time Keith gets to wash in peace and make sure he gets all the dead skin off himself. Callie is still with James and he doesn’t have to rush just so she doesn’t get bored and get herself into trouble while he washes. He takes his time with his hair, massaging his scalp and letting the hot air relax his muscles, before finally stepping out and wrapping himself in a towel.

He makes his way to the couch to sit and watch some TV while he dries off and waits for the heat gathered on his skin to cool off. Around half past five, he heads to his bedroom to get dressed. He’s already reaching for a good pair of jeans when his hand freezes. It’s Sunday evening. He just cleaned the apartment and showered. He and Callie are probably just going to be doing her homework and then watching TV or something before going to bed. There’s really no point for him to put on proper clothes.

The only reason he would have for getting dressed is the fear of judgement from James. Keith can imagine the way he’d look down on him and wrinkle his nose in disgust. But somehow, the thought doesn’t turn his stomach the way it usually does. He only feels a flash of hot fury and defiance.

No. He’s not going to let James dictate the way he lives his life anymore. He has let him control his life for far too long. Now it’s time for that to stop. James has no right to judge him. Not when he’s such a…a jackass.

Keith lets out a huff of breath at thinking of Hunk’s usual nickname for his ex, before reaching for some comfortable sweatpants, a t-shirt and a red sweater to put on. He goes to the bathroom to brush his hair, putting it in another simple ponytail, and just as he finishes, the doorbell rings, and Keith rushes through the apartment to open the door with a few, long, quick strides.

“Daddy!” Callie greets him with a big smile as the door swings open.

Keith crouches down to let her step into his arms for a hug. “It’s good to have you home, Starling.”

“Hey, Keith,” James’s voice rings. But there is something strange about it. The usual smugness and judgement is gone, replaced by…something, Keith’s not entirely sure what.

Keith looks up towards James, finding him wearing a strangely soft expression as he looks at him and Callie. He’s not even raising his eyebrows at Keith’s clothes, just looking like there is something sweet going on with Keith and Callie embracing. He’s got Callie’s things in one hand and a white plastic bag in another. It’s another thing Keith has never seen him have during these encounters.

“Hello,” Keith says, barely unable to hide his confusion in his tone.

Callie detaches herself from him, brushing past him inside the apartment, so Keith gets to his feet, raising to meet James’s eyes. He tries to find something in them, even a hint of contempt…but all he can see is a strange, eager gleam that he can’t quite decipher.

“Hey, here,” James says, holding out Callie’s things for Keith to take, giving him an odd sort of smile. Keith thinks he can vaguely remember that smile from after a few times they slept together, from the times when he wasn’t so high or drunk and James was a little gentler. It’s that same smile he found himself thinking about back when he was still sure he and James had something more than just sex.

It feels strange to see it now.

“The clothes inside are all laundered and folded. You can just put them away,” James says.

Keith blinks. James has never brought Callie’s weekend clothes back clean. They always go straight to the laundry bin. “Thanks…?”

James nods at him as Keith takes the bag from him, not easing up Keith’s confusion in the slightest.

James holds up the plastic bag next. Now that he takes a proper look, Keith can see it’s filled with takeout containers. “I thought I’d bring along some dinner for you and Callie, too. It’s Chinese, but don’t worry, it’s the healthy kind with the vegetables.”

All Keith can do is just blink again at that. James didn’t even buy him dinner when they were sleeping together. But he hasn’t cooked dinner, figuring he and Callie would just order a pizza for a change, since he didn’t want to have the excuse of ready dinner to have James stay over. And he figures that if James planned for Callie to eat it too, the food is probably not poisoned or something.

“Thank you…?” he says again, looking up at James from below his brows as he takes the bag in his free hand.

James shrugs, giving him more off that odd smile. “No problem.”

Keith narrows his eyes. James says that, but there is always an agenda with him. There must be some reason why he’s trying to butter up Keith like this.

But since he’s at least trying, Keith is willing to hear him out. Just this once. “Was there something you wanted?”

“What?” James asks, eyes widening with surprise. “I mean…no, not really, just…”

“Just spit it out,” Keith prompts, furrowing his brows. He doesn’t have time for this.

“I’ve just been thinking…” James starts, his cheeks actually flushing as he wrings his hands with apparent nervousness. That’s even more surprising than the rest of his strange behavior put together. For as long as Keith has known him, James has always presented a confident, almost cocky exterior, at least to him. He almost couldn’t even imagine James could ever get nervous.

“I mean…if sometimes, you might want a longer weekend for yourself, I could take Callie already Thursday night?” James continues. “Or I could take her during the week sometimes? I know how hard you work, so if there’s anything I can do to help with at least Callie, then…”

Keith blinks. Then blinks again. James just looks back at him, his expression strangely earnest and almost soft with his flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes. Like this, Keith can almost see why James caught his eye in the first place.

He shakes the thought off.

“I’ll…I’ll let you know,” Keith says. “I mean, I miss Callie when she’s gone, but…I think we can work something out if you want more time with her. I have some late nights next week, so if you want, you can take her for the night then.”

“Really?” James says, his eyes lighting up. Keith almost smiles at that as he nods. James may not be good for much else, and whatever the two of them have or don’t have between them, he really does love their daughter. Maybe he’s acting like this because he wants to show Keith he’s trying to be more responsible as a parent. And maybe Keith should cut him some slack for that. Give him a chance to actually be a father to Callie.

“That’s great!” James says. “And maybe…maybe we could do something together too? I mean, all three of us, as a family. I think it’d be good for Callie, and us.”

Keith purses his lips, licking over them in thought. “Maybe.”

James beams. “Great!”

Keith swallows. He’s not sure what is going on, but that smile makes his stomach turn. “I…I should probably go inside. Callie is probably hungry.”

He hopes James won’t ask to stay.

“Alright,” James says with a nod. “Just let me know if you need anything.”

“O…kay,” Keith says, his head swimming with relief and confusion. “I’ll…I’ll text you? Let you know about next week?”

James smiles again. “I’d like that. I’ll see you later. Tell Callie I said bye.”

He begins heading towards the stairs, giving Keith a wave over his shoulder. Keith finds himself responding, too numb with emotion to do much else.

Every instinct in his gut tells him something must be going on. He’s just not sure what, yet.

…

Despite being alone for most of his Sunday, the deep-seated loneliness and coldness he usually associates with his apartment doesn’t seem to fall on Shiro. He spends his day in an easygoing manner, watching a few movies on Netflix and eating take-out. The memory of the previous day and night linger warm in his mind, helping him enjoy the solitude for once. He leaves his phone alone, not feeling the need to constantly check if Keith has texted.

As the night falls, though, Shiro finishes his movie, and decides it’s finally time to check his messages. There are a few from Hunk and Pidge, mostly congratulations over his and Keith’s date (apparently Keith gave out more details than Shiro), a few status updates from Allura on her last day at the conference. It’s Keith’s fairly recent message that make Shiro’s heart really jump. He taps in quickly to read it.

**_Keith:_ ** _my ex was really weird today when he dropped off Callie?? he brought us dinner and he had all of her clothes laundered._

Shiro raises an eyebrow, starting to type.

**_Shiro:_ ** _Well, maybe he’s growing up? Didn’t you say you want him to be a more responsible father?_

**_Keith:_ ** _I did, but I wasn’t expecting it to happen so soon or so suddenly. it’s weird. he wants more time with Callie too._

**_Shiro:_ ** _Well, maybe he’s trying to prove to you that you can trust him to have that time with her?_

**_Keith:_ ** _yeah, probably. he’s just trying to soften me up._

**_Shiro:_ ** _What are you gonna do?_

**_Keith:_ ** _I’ll miss Callie if she spends more time with him, but…I shouldn’t prevent it. I know she misses him a lot._

**_Keith:_ ** _and, if I may be more selfish…it might give me more time for myself. for…other things._

Shiro smiles.

**_Shiro:_ ** _Keith, I would never do anything to get between you and Callie. But I’m definitely here for you if you need someone to spend time with when she’s not around ;)._

**_Keith:_ ** _I’ll keep that in mind ;). though we’ll probably just start out with her being with James when I’m working nights, like next week._

**_Shiro:_ ** _That sounds good. A reasonable plan._

Shiro licks his lips, pondering, before starting to type again.

**_Shiro:_ ** _You apparently told Hunk some stuff about us._

**_Keith:_ ** _was that okay? he asked and I kind of wanted to tell him…_

**_Shiro:_ ** _It was fine. He asked me too, but I kind of wanted to wait a while. I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about me telling._

**_Keith:_ ** _he mentioned that he asked you before. really though, if it bothers you, I’m sorry._

**_Shiro:_ ** _It doesn’t, don’t worry. I would’ve talked to him about it eventually too. Today I just needed to sit still and think for a while._

**_Shiro:_ ** _How was your day, otherwise? :)._

**_Keith:_ ** _pretty good. Callie had actually done her homework for the weekend for once, so we just had dinner and talked, and then watched some cartoons._

**_Shiro:_ ** _Sounds nice :). I watched some movies myself._

**_Keith:_ ** _I should probably head to bed now. early morning tomorrow._

**_Shiro:_ ** _Me too, honestly._

**_Keith:_ ** _good night, Shiro._

**_Shiro:_ ** _gn, Keith <3\. Sleep well and have a good week._

He turns off his phone and starts heading towards his bathroom to brush his teeth.

…

The new week begins bright and early for Keith and Callie, but with a much better mood than the last one after Callie returned home. Although she was a little disappointed James didn’t stick around for dinner, the prospect of a night spent with him during the week seemed to cheer her up. It also helped that there was no homework for her and Keith to struggle over on Sunday and Chinese take-out for them to eat.

As Keith drops Callie off at school, he can’t help but hope this might be the beginning of a new era, for him, for his family. He’s got Shiro in his life now and things might finally be looking up with James. Maybe he’s had some sort of an epiphany about himself and his actions. He hadn’t even tried anything with him. Keith hopes more than anything that this is something that will last, that James is finally growing up and taking some responsibility as a man and father.

Between his work duties, Keith thinks over what he wants to say to James and how he wants to say it. He doesn’t want to jump in with both feet right away. He needs some time to see where all of this is going. But he’d also already basically promised Callie she’d get to see James during the week and he’s not about to back out on that promise. Besides, it’s probably best to have a small trial run first so he can make sure everything will go well in the future.

During his lunch break, Keith takes out his phone to text James.

**_Keith:_ ** _I have a night shift on Wednesday. If you want, you can have Callie stay with you then._

**_Keith:_ ** _But this won’t be like the weekend visits. You’ll have to make sure she does her homework in the evening and take her to school on time the next morning._

**_Keith:_ ** _I will be checking on both. If you can manage that, we can talk about you having her over during the week more._

It is when Keith is about to go back to work after eating his lunch that he gets a reply from James.

**_James:_ ** _I can and will do all that. I promise. I’d love to have Callie on Wednesday._

**_Keith:_ ** _Then I’ll tell her teacher you’ll pick her up and send her to school with a change of clothes._

**_James:_ ** _You don’t need to. She has clothes here. I’m sure she can manage for one night._

**_Keith:_ ** _Fine then._

He’s expecting that to be it already, but his phone pings with another message.

**_James:_ ** _I was also thinking, if you’re not busy, we could have a family day on Saturday? With all three of us, like we talked about?_

The message causes Keith to blink in surprise. When James had thrown the idea at him the previous day, he hadn’t expected him to follow up on it so soon. Perhaps not at all.

The thought of spending time with James makes his stomach clench and the back of his neck break out in cold sweat. None of the times that the two of them have spent together, even with with Callie, have ever been good experiences for Keith. James has always acted like the same condescending prick who won’t leave him alone, talks down to him and is forever harassing him. The thought of having to go through that again…

Keith swallows, gripping his phone tight to keep his hands from shaking and taking a few deep breaths. James is trying to change. That’s what he wants to believe. And it’s not good for Callie if he and James keep being so at odds with each other. They need to learn to do better, to actually work together to give her the best possible childhood. That can’t happen if Keith isn’t willing to meet James halfway, to give him a chance to redeem himself.

He takes another deep breath, before unlocking his phone and starting to type.

**_Keith:_ ** _If you manage with Wednesday, we can do that. We can go to the park together or something._

The reply that comes if swift.

**_James:_ ** _I’d like that. It’ll be great, I promise._

Keith sighs. He sure hopes that’s true.

…

Shiro is happy to be back at work on Monday. His good mood from the weekend carries him like the wind through his day. He greets everyone with a smile and writing comes out easy and without a problem.

For lunch, Shiro leaves the building to meet Allura in a nearby café. As Shiro walks through the busy streets, he can’t stop grinning as he thinks about everything he’s going to tell her, since she’s been gone and busy for a while. He’s also just generally happy to be able to see her again. He feels like the sun itself is shining from his heart with how wonderful and alive everything feels.

The café is charming and full of natural autumn light and decorated with classic wooden tables, Shiro notices as he enters.

“Shiro!” He sees Allura wave at him, a big smile on her pretty face. Her hair is up on a bun today and she’s wearing a classic dark blue suit, fitted well for the official meetings she has going on at the office, to discuss everything that happened at the conference last week.

Shiro smiles towards her and quickly approaches, sitting down opposite of her at the table. “It’s good to see you, Allura.”

“And you,” Allura says with a smile. “You won’t believe the weekend I had. I may love my job, but the fact that I couldn’t come home until last night is a little much, even for me.”

“I don’t envy you,” Shiro says honestly as he grabs the menu to browse for options.

“At least it’s almost all over now,” Allura says with a sigh. “Let’s not talk about it now. How have you been? I’m sorry I haven’t been in contact much; I could barely text Lance with the late nights I’ve been having. I haven’t even been able to ask you about your date.”

“It’s alright,” Shiro says. He lets the giddy feeling in the pit of his stomach return, fluttering gently and bringing a smile to his lips. “I’ve been really well. And our date…it was really great, Allura.”

Allura’s lips spread into a smile match his, her blue eyes sparkling with joy. “That’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you, Shiro!”

Shiro grins, feeling his cheeks flush with happiness. “I told him everything. We’re on the same page now. We’re moving forward.”

“I’m so glad to hear that,” Allura says. “And I can’t wait to meet Keith. You look so happy, Shiro. I want to meet the man who makes you look like that after so long.”

“I can’t promise anything,” Shiro says. “We’re trying to move slow, and his work schedule is pretty packed. But I’ll talk to him about it soon, and I’ll let you know.”

“Good.” Allura says with a nod. “And am I to understand he took everything well?”

“Very well,” Shiro says softly. “He didn’t judge me. He never has. I…actually had a panic attack and he just…took care of me.”

Allura’s brows furrow in concern. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Shiro says with a small smile. “Keith helped me through it. And when I talked to him about it after…it made me feel a lot better. He saw me at my worst, and he still stayed. In a strange way…I think that’s exactly what I needed to really feel certain. Feel like I can count on this. On _him_.”

Allura gives him a soft smile. “Now you know how I feel. Aren’t you glad you took a chance?”

“So glad,” Shiro admits. “Thank you for giving me a push.”

“Anytime,” Allura says with a grin. “Speaking of pushes, I was thinking that I'd like to go drinking on Saturday, to really wash the taste of the past weeks off my mouth. Would you like to come along?”

“Sure,” Shiro says. “If I won’t be intruding. Will Lance be there?”

“Well, you did say you wanted to check him out some more,” Allura says with a shrug and a grin.

“Yeah, but if he hasn’t seen you much, then won’t I be third wheel? And we did spend some time together with the laser tag two weeks ago.”

“We’re going on a date on Friday evening and going home together then. We’ll spend all day together Saturday before it’s even time to go out drinking. After all that, I’m sure he can handle sharing me with you for a few hours,” Allura says with a smile. “That is, if you are?”

Shiro thinks it over, using his menu leaflet as a cover for himself as he does. Allura and Lance will almost certainly be attached to the hip the whole time. He might feel like an outsider, but he also has no other plans and it would be nice to spend some time with Allura, even if it also means spending time with her boyfriend. He won’t be seeing Keith this weekend either, since Callie will be home with him, so he should be with friends at least. And he can always leave early if he feels like it.

“Sure,” he says, looking up from his menu. “Count me in.”

“Great,” Allura says with a grin, just as the waiter arrives to take their orders.

…

It is with nerves that make his hands shake that Keith drops Callie off at school on Wednesday, preparing for his full twenty-four hours of being on call at work, for more than one reason. He’s not sure if he wants James to succeed with this trial or not more. The promised family Saturday still makes him feel like he’s swallowed lead, but he also doesn’t want their joint parenting to continue to be like pulling teeth. He feels caught between a rock and a hard place with the way his mind works.

Luckily, he at least has Shiro and can talk to him about it all.

**_Keith:_ ** _dropped Callie off. off to 24 hrs being on call._

**_Shiro:_ ** _How are you feeling?_

**_Keith:_ ** _I don’t really know myself. I don’t know quite what I want to happen. I don’t know if I can trust James yet._

**_Shiro:_ ** _Well, this is so you can find out, right? You just have to see how it goes._

**_Keith:_ ** _yeah, I guess. good thing I have work to distract me._

**_Keith:_ ** _and you as well :)._

**_Shiro:_ ** _I’m always here if you need to talk. Work hard on your shift!_

Keith is only a little surprised when James actually does as he’s told and takes care of Callie the way a responsible father would, while Keith is not around. Lance tells Keith that Callie came to school on time on Thursday and with her homework all done. So Keith has to hold up his end of the deal, too.

He and Callie spend their normal Friday together after school and work, but on Saturday, soon after they’ve had lunch, the doorbell rings at their apartment, signaling James’s arrival.

“Go on, go open the door,” Keith says gently to Callie.

She springs out of her kitchen chair, rushing over to the door. Keith takes a few deep breaths, trying to think of something nice. Something soothing. Like Shiro. Shiro is good. He’s been wonderful this week, gentle and encouraging and willing to listen to all of Keith’s troubles. He’s been Keith’s rock, helping him carry on forward.

He hears Callie unlatch and open the door. “Papa!”

“Hello, Princess,” James’s voice rings through, as does the soft shifting sound of bodies.

Keith takes another steadying breath before stepping into the view of his daughter and ex, seeing them hugging at the mud area, James crouched down to hold Callie in his arms

James looks up at him over Callie’s small shoulder. “Hey. You ready to go?”

“Just gotta grab our coats, me and Callie,” Keith says with a shrug.

“Right then,” James says, letting Callie go with a pat on the shoulder. “Get your coat, Princess. We’re going out.”

“Yes, Papa,” Callie says with a grin, going over to the rack of coats and allowing James to stand up straight again.

The proper sight of him surprises Keith somewhat. He’s still dressed neatly and formally, wearing a jacket that probably costs more than Keith’s monthly rent, but he’s traded the khakis Keith is now used to seeing on him to actual jeans.

“And here I thought you traded out all your jeans for suits when you graduated,” Keith says, moving to grab his own coat.

James gives his legs a quick glance, before looking up at Keith again. “Is it weird?”

“It’d be weirder if you wanted to wear a suit to the park,” Keith says, starting to wrap up in his coat. “And it’s nice to see you’re not entirely douchey lawyer yet after all.”

Keith’s heart rate is settling. Maybe this won’t be all bad after all. Maybe there’s still hope for their co-parenting.

“You’re wearing your earrings too,” James says, giving him an almost soft smile, lifting his chin to the direction of Keith’s ears. “It’s like old times, huh?”

“Just because you haven’t seen them doesn’t mean I haven’t been wearing them,” Keith says, finishing buttoning his coat and grabbing his hat.

“You should wear them,” James says, giving him a bit of a grin. It makes him look younger, almost boyish in a nearly charming way. Keith remembers that smile from the night they first met. Another reminder of the past, of what first drew him to James.

It does nothing for him now, though. Only serves as a reminder of old times, of mistakes he shouldn’t repeat and of the pain that’s followed. Keith swallows it all down, since he and James are meant to be nice to each other today.

“They always made you look…nice,” James adds.

Keith blinks. “I thought you hated my ‘punkass’ style?”

“No, I-”

“I’m done!” Callie says, drawing the attention of both her parents to see her fully dressed in her coat, hat, scarf and shoes. “Can we go now?”

Keith smiles, stepping over to her to take her hand. “Yes, Starling. Let’s go.”

“Wait for me,” James says, stepping over to Callie’s other side and taking her free hand. “Now we can go.”

Keith gives a nod, makes sure he has his wallet and keys, turns off the light at the apartment, and they head out.


	10. Chapter 10

Shiro spends most of his Saturday treating himself. He goes for his morning run, and afterwards has breakfast at another diner new to him. It’s not as good as the one before, but waffles are always waffles, so Shiro doesn’t mind too much. The food may not hold a candle to Keith’s cooking either, but it’s miles better than his own. Not that that takes a lot.

Eating at the diner does make him miss Keith, though, and not just because of his cooking. This was the first week since they met that they haven’t been able to see each other in person, with Keith being busy with work and his family matters. And although Shiro was prepared for this – or he thought he was – he can’t help but feel that this is the week he especially should’ve been with Keith. But all Shiro has been able to do to ease his nerves over his ex is to send encouraging text messages.

It feels like so little, so useless. Perhaps it’s intuition, perhaps it’s professional insight, but Shiro has a feeling there is more to Keith’s nerves when it comes to his ex than just a sexual relationship that ended badly. But it’s not something Shiro can ask or expect an explanation for over a text or even a phone call. So there’s not much he can do except be there and listen, to offer comforting messages when he’s needed.

As Shiro heads home to shower, he still can’t help but wish there was something more he could do. He longs to keep Keith safe from all and any sorts of harm that exists. But he knows that if Keith is trying to have a better relationship with the other father of his child, Shiro can’t stop him. Shiro has no right to say anything about how Keith handles that part of his life, the part he’s not really privy to. Not yet, anyway.

Shiro takes a long, hot, relaxing shower, trying to take his mind off things, and the thought of just how he can take his mind off all this occurs to him. After all, if there’s nothing he can do, there’s no point for him to linger on the matter, and he still needs to find a way to pass the time for a few hours before he’s to meet Allura and Lance for drinks.

He pulls up Netflix on his TV screen and puts on _The Knights of Thaldycon_. If nothing else, it’ll give him something to talk to Keith about, other than Keith’s ex, should he need a distraction later.

…

The walk to the park passes swiftly, with Callie talking about her week to both of her parents. Once they reach the playground, the three of them all climb the jungle gym, slide down the slides, push Callie on the swings and play imaginary games with her. It’s almost fun, even with James there. Honestly, he seems to really be on his best behavior, paying most of his attention to their daughter rather than Keith.

Keith can’t complain. It’s what he’s wanted from their relationship all this time, and after a few hours, he finds himself genuinely smiling and laughing as the three of them play tag around the park. He allows himself the chance to let go of his anxieties and enjoy the day, lets himself hope that perhaps this really can be a new start for them. Perhaps he and James _can_ have a good co-parenting relationship. Keith doesn’t have to stew in old grudges or complaints, not when James is even being completely appropriate during tag. He can just silently forgive James and move forward. He can do that. He can stop being afraid of him now. He can.

Keith runs after his daughter, grabbing her in his arms, panting into her hair, “I caught you, Starling!”

“Daddy!” Callie laughs, and Keith swings her around, trying to even out his breath, before setting her down.

Callie tucks at his sleeve. “Daddy, I’m hungry.”

James rushes over to them. “Well, it has been a long day.”

Keith had barely noticed, but now that he has the chance to take his surroundings in properly, he sees it’s gotten quite dark around them, the streetlights are the only lighting on the playground. He had completely lost track of time.

“Hey, why don’t the three of us go out for dinner together?” James asks before Keith can say anything. “I can treat you two. A good ending for a day like this, don’t you think?”

“Can we, Daddy, please?” Callie asks, grabbing onto his hand with both of hers, looking up at him with those big, pleading eyes.

Keith looks over at James, swallowing over his harsh breathing. He’s been good tonight, hasn’t he? Surely he can be good for a few more hours, so Keith doesn’t have to disappoint his daughter?

“Okay, sure,” Keith says with a shrug.

“Yay!” Callie jumps up in joy, letting go of his hand. “Can I pick the place?”

“Of course you can, Princess,” James says.

“I wanna go to Stacy’s Diner!” Callie declares.

“We can walk there,” Keith says over her head to James, taking her hand again. James takes the other, as he did before. “I can lead the way.”

James smirks at him. “Then by all means do.”

…

_The Knights of Thaldycon_ turns out to be a fun little action piece with surprisingly loveable characters, and a romance between two men that Shiro finds himself rooting for from the bottom of his heart. By the time the credits roll on his screen, he’s burning with the urge to talk to Keith about it and share his experience.

It’s been some time since he ate though, so for now Shiro gets dressed in proper clothes and heads out for dinner in a restaurant. By the time he’s done, it’s just about time for him to meet Allura and Lance at the pub they’ve chosen to frequent this Saturday. Shiro takes his time with the walk so he doesn’t have to wait long for them.

He’s happy to see the couple already waiting for him outside the pub when he arrives, bundled up in warm clothes and deep in conversation with each other, sharing soft smiles.

Shiro feels a little like they don’t even notice him until he’s just about a feet away from them.

“Shiro!” Allura greets him, her face breaking into a smile as she steps over to give him a hug. “I’m so glad you could make it.”

“It’s good to see you, Allura,” Shiro says with a smile of his own, giving her a squeeze. “And you too, Lance.”

“Nice to see you, Shiro,” Lance says with a small smile at the corner of his mouth. “Especially since you arriving means we can finally get out of the cold.”

“Yeah, let’s go in,” Shiro says with a wry smile, giving Allura another brief squeeze before letting her go.

The three of them head inside, the warm pub air smelling of cheap beer, nuts, wood and sweat, but it’s a relief to be in from the chilly outdoors, the heat hitting Shiro in the face like sunlight in the spring. Allura has booked them a booth, since this is a fairly popular place, especially on the weekends, and after ordering the first round of drinks, they sit themselves at the table.

“So, Lance,” Shiro says, taking a sip of his gin and coke. “How’s teaching going?”

“It’s going well,” Lance says with a smile. “The kids are great, if rambunctious. But I can keep up with the best of them most days.”

“I can imagine, given how fast you ran during laser tag,” Shiro says with a smile.

“Growing up with a family like mine, you learn to keep up,” Lance says, sipping his own fruity drink.

“I can attest to that,” Allura says with a chuckle. “Lance’s family is quite lively.”

“That sounds nice though,” Shiro says, his thoughts flashing to his own childhood. Even with the Holts in his life, with just his Grandpa and him, it could sometimes get lonely. He brushes the thoughts off. “It’s hard to feel alone with company like that.”

“It has its perks, and we’re definitely very close,” Lance says. “But there’s a lot of noise too and not much privacy.”

“They have been very welcoming to me, though,” Allura says softly, looking up towards Lance with stars sparkling in her eyes. Lance meets her gaze in kind and Shiro can’t help but smile into the rim of his glass. They look so in love.

It makes him miss Keith a little, wishing he could be here to share this, too.

Lance places an arm around Allura’s shoulders as he turns to speak to Shiro. “Which is why they also understood that Allura needs some time to spend with her family over the holidays, too. And that I should go with her.”

Shiro smiles at them. “That’s good to hear.”

“What about you, Shiro?” Lance asks. “Allura has been telling me you’ve got your sights on someone, too.”

Shiro feels himself blush, but keeps smiling. “There is someone, but it’s still new. Since you know Hunk, you might know him too? Keith Kogane?”

“No shit,” Lance says, his eyes widening. “His daughter is in my class.”

Shiro blinks. “Really?”

“Small world, huh?” Lance snorts. “They’ll keep your hands full, both of them.”

“Honestly?” Shiro says, sipping his drink. “I can think of nothing I want in my life more right now.”

…

Stacy’s Diner is a 50’s style place with red plastic couches and red tabletops in every booth, red-and-white curtains, black-and-white checkered floors and waiters who roller-skate. It’s located close by to where Keith and Callie live and they frequent it often when they eat out, mostly because it serves breakfast 24/7. Keith can see James give the place several assessing looks, but he appreciates that he at least keeps his mouth shut, since Callie chose to eat there. In some ways, the judgement is even welcome. Keith had started to worry that James had been replaced by a doppelganger or something with how nice he was being. And Keith can take some judgement so long as it’s not directly aimed at him. And besides, in the casual clothes they’re wearing they fit in here much better than in some fine dining place that James is probably used to.

They pick out a booth for themselves, quickly taking off their coats. Afterwards, James sits on one side and Callie and Keith on the other, before they all begin browsing their menus.

It comes as no surprise to Keith when Callie, after about five minutes happily declares, “I want pancakes!”

James raises an eyebrow at that. “I’m not sure that’s such a good choice for dinner, sweetheart. That’s breakfast food, isn’t it?”

He gives Keith a questioning look, and Keith can’t help but blink at him. With James’s tendency to spoil Callie, Keith hadn’t expected him to be the one to voice his complaints about her unhealthy choice of food.

He lets out a sigh. “It’s okay. You can have pancakes for dinner if you want, Callie. Today is a special occasion.”

“Yay!” Callie cheers, setting her menu aside.

Keith smiles in her direction. He can’t deny that not having to always play the bad cop to James’s good one is refreshing. Relieving.

He’s still smiling as he starts to ponder upon his own choices for dinner. He’s pretty sure he’s going to have a pizza, since this is one of the places around the area that actually knows how to make it good without dairy. After a moment of deliberation, Keith sets his own menu aside as well, only to see James frowning at his with his brows furrowed and his scrunched up nose practically touching the laminated paper.

Keith’s first instinct is to just leave him be, to let things slide so he doesn’t have to deal with him anymore than is necessary. But James has been making an effort to patch things up today. He’s been acting good all week. Keith should meet him halfway, too. 

“What’s on your mind?” Keith asks, causing James’s eyes to snap up to look up at him. “You look so moody.”

James huffs. “Just trying to figure out if there’s anything on this menu that is less than 3,000 calories.”

Keith huffs out a short laugh. “Probably not. But why do you care, anyway? It’s not like you never go out to eat.”

And Keith knows for a fact that Callie has eaten a lot of junk food with James. So it’s not like James is completely foreign to that either.

“Yeah, but not in places that seem to think chicken is a vegetable,” James says, setting his menu down and crossing his arms. “I don’t have time to go to the gym. I need to watch my figure.”

“Well, you can still have cheat days, right?” Keith says. “Like I said before, today is a special occasion. I let Callie to have breakfast for dinner; you should be allowed to have some diner food too.”

James purses his lips, seeming to think it over for a bit. He sighs, hanging his head. “I guess you’re right.”

As if summoned, a waiter rolls over on his skates to take their order. Keith asks for his pizza without dairy but with three kinds of meat, James a cheeseburger with fries and Callie pancakes, bacon and eggs.

“And could you bring a maze puzzle for my daughter, too, please?” Keith asks.

“Sure thing, coming right up,” the waiter says with a smile, before tucking his notepad under his arm and rolling away.

“I’m gonna go pee,” Callie says, moving herself out of the booth.

“Remember to wash your hands,” Keith calls after her.

As Keith turns back towards the table, he raises an eyebrow in James’s direction. His ex is smiling almost softly at him, leaning his cheek on his hand, looking near…wistful, Keith might call it, if he didn’t know better.

“What?” Keith asks, voice filling with incredulity. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“No reason,” James says, shrugging his shoulders.

But he doesn’t stop smiling, and his smile looks different than it has been for most of the day so far. There’s a familiar edge to his smile now, one that always puts Keith slightly off and causes the hair at the back of his neck to stand up. Keith swallows hard, trying to calm his suddenly accelerated heartbeat. He’s just looking too much into things. He has to be.

“You’re just such a good father, Keith,” James says. “And yet you brought us to a place like this. It reminds me of all the fun times we used to have.”

Keith swallows around the lump in his throat, around any insistence that it was Callie who chose to come here. Around the knowledge this is the first time he and James have been alone without her today. “We never had this kind of fun.”

“But you were always my bit of rough,” James says, his smile starting to turn almost into a smirk. “And now you can be, again.”

Keith swallows, feeling cold sweat beginning to form at the back of his neck, his hands growing cold with it. “What?”

“Think about it, Keith,” James says, leaning forward over the table separating them, his eyes glinting dangerously. “You saw what we could be today. We could have this every day, only better. I’d treat you right this time. I’d take care of you. You wouldn’t be alone anymore. We could finally be a real family.”

Keith feels his heart drop. He wants to laugh at himself for being so naïve, cry for how badly his hopes have been crushed. He wants to leave so he doesn’t have to look at James’s awful, smug face anymore.

“And to think I thought you’d changed,” he growls at James, giving him the best glare he can manage. “But you were just acting, weren’t you? You’re still the same guy you’ve always been.”

“Oh, come on, Keith,” James groans, like Keith is the one being unreasonable and difficult here. Talking to him like a child the way he always does. “Today was good, right? I’ve been nice to you. Doesn’t that show I’m willing to make an effort? That I can be good? I could be like this for you every day. Why won’t you even give me – us – a chance?”

“Just you thinking you can worm your way back into my life through one week of good behavior shows me how right I am for not letting you,” Keith hisses, clenching his hands into fists over the table, staring down at how they turn white just so he doesn’t have to look at James.

“Well,” James’s voice sounds somewhere above him, not concerned in the least. “You wouldn’t want to disappoint Callie, would you?”

Keith’s head snaps up, his eyes wide. “What?”

“She’ll be so upset when she hears we’re not getting back together after all,” James says casually, smirking in his direction. “She’s been so excited about you guys moving to live with me. She wants us to be a real family just like all her friends have. Are you really just going to take that away from her? Are you really that selfish?”

Keith feels numb. James…James has been lying to Callie. And now he’s doing what he always does; hitting Keith where it hurts the most, to get him to do what he wants. He hasn’t changed at all.

White hot burning fury flares up in his gut.

“How dare you,” Keith hisses, grabbing his coat from behind himself and starting to put it on. “How dare you try to manipulate me and lie to my child just to get to me?” He shakes his head. “I can’t believe I ever thought you’d changed.”

He begins shuffling himself out of the booth.

“Where are you going?” James says, still sounding like he’s talking to a child.

“I’m getting our orders to go and then Callie and I are leaving,” Keith says, ready to start walking towards the counter.

“Is this about that guy?” James’s voice rings out from behind him.

Keith can’t help it. He turns around to look at him, shock hitting him cold in the chest. “What guy?”

“Callie said you talked to some strange guy at a party,” James says. “She said you looked really close.” He licks his lips. “Should’ve known a slut like you couldn’t help himself.”

Keith feels the flush of humiliation creeping on his cheeks and neck. He knows intellectually that he has nothing to be ashamed of. He and Shiro are adults in an adult consensual relationship. Keith is a grown man. He should be allowed to get frisky with his boyfriend if that’s what he wants to do. The insult shouldn’t sting as hard as it does.

But James has always known which buttons to push with him.

“My personal life is none of your business,” Keith says, but it comes out softer than he meant it to. “And frankly, if you hadn’t completely lost me before, you have now.”

Before James can say anything more, Keith sees a small form walk towards them from the direction of the bathrooms from the corner of his eye. As he turns, he sees his daughter, just as expected.

“Daddy?” she asks, stepping closer to him with a confused frown on her face. “Why do you have your coat on?”

“You should put yours on as well, Callie,” Keith says as gently as he can. “I’m getting our orders to go, and then we’re leaving.”

Callie blinks, frowning deeper with shock and sadness. “But Daddy…!”

“Please, Callie,” Keith says softly, turning properly to her and crouching down to her level. His body feels so heavy, so stiff, so numb. Like it’s barely even his anymore. “Daddy is tired. I just want to go home.”

“What about Papa?” Callie asks, turning towards James, still in the booth.

“Yeah, Keith? What about me?” James says, giving Keith a look that says this is all playing right into his hands.

“Papa is going home too. To his home,” Keith says, forcibly. He looks at his daughter, trying to put all his pleading into his eyes. He feels pathetic, having to put this on his child, but he can’t stay here. He can’t be around James a moment longer.

Callie looks him in the eyes for a long time. But then, “…Okay.”

“Thank you,” Keith says softly, leaning in to give her a kiss on the top of her head. “You can go say bye to Papa while I get our food.”

Keith makes his way to the counter, barely hearing James and Callie talk behind him. He can feel James’s eyes follow his every move, but he forces himself to only look ahead. He won’t turn around anymore. He won’t give him that satisfaction.

…

Shiro’s not sure how much time has passed since he, Allura and Lance arrived at the pub. All he knows is that he’s drunk enough to find Lance’s lame jokes funny and that he’s pretty sure he keeps nodding off, because the next thing he notices after a few moments is that Allura and Lance are making out next to him in the booth.

He’s just taking a sip of his drink when some sort of strange racket starts somewhere close by.

“What is that and why can’t they turn it off?” Shiro groans into his glass.

“Shiro, buddy,” Lance says, barely able to contain his laughter. “That’s your phone.”

Shiro blinks. He realizes his pocket is, in fact, vibrating.

“Oh,” he says, letting out a loud laugh himself. “So it is.”

Lance bursts out in laughter as Shiro pulls out his phone.

As soon as he sees the caller ID, his stomach drops and his drunkenness with it.

“Sorry, guys,” he says, hurriedly shuffling himself out of their booth. “I gotta take this. I’ll be right back.”

“Ooooh,” Allura coos. “It’s him, isn’t it? Take your time!”

Shiro doesn’t respond to her, merely rushing out towards the door of the pub as he accepts the call, putting his phone against his ear.

“Keith?” he says to the phone, pulling the door open and stepping outside. The cold air is biting on his skin, turning his harsh breathing into mist in front of him, but it at least helps sober him up further. “Is everything okay? You don’t usually call.”

There’s no response. Only strange, high, fast, raspy breaths on the other end that tell Shiro there is someone there.

“Keith?” Shiro prompts. “Please say something, are you okay. Are you hurt?”

Shiro can hear a swallow through the phone line. _“…Shiro…”_

Shiro swallows as well, his heart leaping into his throat. Keith’s voice sounds so hoarse, so small on the other end. He keeps breathing hard, almost hiccupping like he can’t get enough air in. Is he crying?

“Keith?” Shiro says softly. “Please, talk to me. What can I do to help you?”

_“…’m sorry,”_ Keith’s voice rings quiet in his ear, so quiet Shiro almost can’t hear him. _“…must be bothering you…”_

“You never bother me,” Shiro says urgently. “I told you, anything I could do, I would. Just tell me what I can do to help. Can you do that for me, baby?”

_“My ex, he…”_ Shiro hears Keith sniffle, and his hands shake in a mixture of fear and fury. If Keith’s good-for-nothing ex has touched one hair on his or Callie’s heads, Shiro will…!

_“H-he wants to get back together.”_ Keith forces out. _“H-he’s been l-lying to Callie and saying it’s gonna happen, that we’re gonna m-move to live with him, and n-now I look like the bad guy again for not wanting to do it, and I d-don’t know how long he’s been lying to her and getting her hopes up and…”_

“Oh, Keith,” Shiro says softly, his heart aching in his chest. “I’m so sorry, baby. Take a deep breath for me, okay? Can you do that for me? Deep breath, okay?”

Shiro hears Keith’s breath quite distinctly on the other end, given the way Keith’s likely semi-blocked nose whistles as he takes in air and how his sigh rattles out, shaking. But it’s something at least.

_“Shiro, I don’t know what to do,”_ Keith says, and it sounds like the deep breath helped, given his voice comes out steadier, if still anxiety-ridden. _“What if Callie hates me now? How can I trust James to not keep manipulating her about this? She’s supposed to go stay with him next weekend. How can I let her go, knowing what I know now?”_

“Keith,” Shiro says, gentle but firm. “I think tonight, it’s too late for you to do anything but sleep. Let yourself calm down if you can and rest on it. In the morning, you can look at everything with fresh eyes. And if you need me to, I can come over.”

_“No, it’s probably best if you don’t_ ,” Keith says. _“Callie…she talked to James about you. He has his suspicions now. I don’t mean to hide you or anything, but right now…”_

“I understand. This is still too soon,” Shiro says, even though it hurts a little. His heart aches with the need to be by Keith’s side, to properly comfort him and be there for him. “But I think you still need to talk to Callie in the morning. If not about us, then about you and James as much as you can. Make sure she has no illusions about what is going to happen. That way you can still somewhat control the narrative. After that, you can think properly about what to do about next weekend with James.”

Keith is silent for a moment, the only sound filling the phone line being his breathing once more.

_“Yeah…”_ he murmurs. _“Yeah, that…that sounds right. I’ll…I’ll try to talk to Callie tomorrow.”_

“Good.” Shiro nods to himself. “Go get some rest in the meantime. Things will look brighter in the morning. I promise.”

_“Yeah,”_ Keith says again, and Shiro can hear him taking in a deep breath. _“Yeah, I think I’ll try and go do that. Thanks for this, Shiro.”_

“Anytime, baby,” Shiro says. “Just let me know if you need anything.”

_“Thank you. I mean it,”_ Keith says softly. _“Goodnight.”_

“Good night, Keith. Sleep well.”

Shiro hears Keith hang up on his end. He lowers his phone, letting out a long, misted breath. He aches for Keith and hopes that he will be alright. That everything will work itself out. But even if it won’t, Shiro will still be there. He’ll do everything in his power to help make this alright again. He’s already making a list in his mind of people he knows who might be able to help with situations like these.

It’s only when his list consists of six people, that it hits him that he’d called Keith ‘baby’ in his tipsiness.

He quickly turns on his heel to march back into the pub. Clearly the only thing to do in this situation is to drink until he no longer feels the flush of embarrassment.

…

Although his conversation over the phone with Shiro helps take the worst edge off Keith’s wrecked nerves, his thoughts and worries won’t leave him alone during the night. He can’t calm his racing heart or make his swirling thoughts disappear from his head. His stomach turns with nausea, and he feels overheated beneath his bed covers. Unable to lie still no matter how much he tries to close his eyes and rest.

James’s smug expression appears in his mind every time he tries to sleep, his voice ringing in his ears like a mocking song he can’t get rid of. He should’ve known better by now than to put his faith in people who don’t deserve it. Just because Shiro turned out to be different from most; it shouldn’t mean Keith gets a pass on letting his guard down for someone like James.

Keith curls up into a tight ball, trying to will his nausea away, to stop his body from shaking and sweating. He knows Shiro is right. He needs to talk to Callie about all this. To help her understand what is going on, and why him and James being together is never going to happen. He can’t keep pretending for her that everything is okay, can’t keep hiding all these things from her in an effort to protect James and his relationship with her. He may not be able to go into details with her, given how young she is still, but there must be some kind of middle ground where Keith can avoid completely badmouthing James and constantly throwing himself under the bus.

But the thought of talking to Callie about all of it still makes his breath come out quick and his heart thump uncomfortably in his chest. He supposes he should’ve known this would have to happen sooner or later, but the need for it has come up so suddenly that he doesn’t know what to do about it. He’s glad that despite her clear confusion and slight anger at their sudden departure, the day spent playing outside exhausted Callie enough that she went to sleep without trouble. At any rate, it spared Keith from having to talk to her while still completely wrapped up in his own emotions. Doing that might’ve only served to make Callie hate him instead or not believe him.

Despite his continued anxiety over what’s about to happen, by the time the morning comes, it’s a relief after a sleepless night of pondering. Keith figures by this point it’s best to just get it over with and deal with the consequences, rather than keep thinking about worst case scenarios and everything that could go wrong. It’s still very early when he gets up, unable to stand the thought of staying in bed a moment longer.

Sluggishly, Keith makes his way to the kitchen to brew himself a pot of coffee. He takes his first cup with him and sits down at the kitchen table, scrolling through social media on his phone to take his mind off things at least a little while he drinks it, waiting for Callie to wake up. His head feels fuzzy in the way he’s come to associate with night shifts, his whole body heavy with nerves and weariness. The coffee burns at the back of his throat, bitter and strong, but he can’t make himself make it sweeter or lighter.

He thinks on texting Shiro for encouragement, but quickly dismisses that thought. Shiro’s done enough for him already and he shouldn’t bother him on a Sunday morning. This is something Keith has to deal with by himself, to do _for_ himself and for his family. He can’t always rely on Shiro to hold his hand, not when he’s managed so far without him. Shiro is his boyfriend, not his life coach or therapist or whatever.

Once he’s downed his second cup, Keith deems it late enough and himself awake enough to start properly preparing breakfast. Maybe the smell and the sound of cooking will rouse Callie, too. He takes out some pans and begins toasting bread in butter, with an egg and ham cooking on top. He’s just taking out the plates, glasses and cutlery when he hears the slight creak of a door. He turns to look and sees his daughter, a pout on her lips, wearing pajamas and her hair mussed from sleep.

“Good morning, Starling,” Keith says, attempting a smile.

Callie just grunts, approaching and heading past him to first grab the orange juice from the fridge and then to sit at the table. Keith sighs. He supposes that he shouldn’t have expected any other reaction, shouldn’t have expected things to be like normal on a morning like this. Callie may have been too tired to properly respond to everything yesterday, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel the effects of what happened. They’re just coming out delayed now.

Keith swallows hard to try and steady himself as he plates their breakfast and brings it over to the table with him, taking his seat across from his daughter. Callie grabs her toast wordlessly and takes a bite, pouring herself some juice and sipping it from her glass. Keith doesn’t touch his own toast. He feels like he might throw up if he eats before he says what he needs to say. Instead, he takes in a deep, calming breath.

“Callie,” he says, tone serious but gentle. “I think we should talk.”

“No,” she says, wrinkling her nose and taking another large bite of her toast.

“Yes, we should,” Keith says, trying not to sound like he hates this as much as she does.

“I don’t wanna,” Callie says.

“I don’t really wanna either,” Keith admits with a hum. “But we need to, because that’s the only way for us to move forward. This isn’t something that is just gonna get solved by itself.”

Callie turns her gaze to look up at him, her big eyes blazing with untamed fire. “Why did we have to leave Papa yesterday?”

“Because Papa was making me angry and upset,” Keith answers honestly, trying to stop his hands from shaking.

“Why?” Callie demands. “Because he was nice all day? Because he wanted us to spend time together?”

“No,” Keith says seriously. “Because he lied to you. He said that he told you that he and I would get back together, and then we would move in with him. And I didn’t like that he’d said that to you.”

Callie’s brows scrunch. “That wasn’t a lie!”

“He told you something that concerns me without asking me how I felt about any of it,” Keith says, trying to keep his tone calm through the storm raging inside of him. “He tried to use the situation so that I wouldn’t be able to say no. He may not have intended it as a lie, but by not asking me, he’s made me the liar, if I refuse to do what he wanted.”

“Papa didn’t mean it like that!” Callie cries, her eyes reddening and starting to glisten with tears. “He said we were gonna be a family! He said he’d win you back!”

“And perhaps he really meant it when he said he would try,” Keith says gently. “But promising you that was wrong. You can’t ever assume you know how someone else feels before you ask them.”

“So you don’t wanna be with Papa?” Callie asks, her voice coming out softer now, first tears spilling to her cheeks. It breaks Keith’s heart.

But he still can only speak his truth. “No, I don’t.”

“Why?” Callie asks, her voice growing a little shrill and broken at the end. “Don’t you want us to be a family?”

“It’s not that simple, Callie,” Keith says softly, sadly. “If I were to be with your Papa, I’d have to love him, and I am sorry to tell you that I don’t. I would give anything else for your happiness, but this is the one thing in my life I’m afraid I can’t let you decide.”

Callie bites her lip, lowering her eyes down to her lap. “…Is it because you love that Shiro guy?”

Keith’s heart jumps, his cheeks heating up. He swallows around his suddenly dry throat, doing his best to now show just how close to something Callie hit. It’s bad enough she’s been talking about Shiro to James behind his back; he doesn’t need this getting back to him too.

“Shiro or no Shiro, I wouldn’t be with your Papa like that, Callie,” Keith says, somehow managing to keep his voice from cracking. “I’m sorry, but I just wouldn’t.”

Callie raises her head to look up at him, and Keith meets her gaze, letting her do whatever assessment she needs to hopefully understand what Keith is trying to say.

Finally, Callie lowers her eyes down to her plate. “Can I be excused?”

“Eat your breakfast first,” Keith says softly. “Then you can.”

Callie’s lip turns into a frown, but she does grab her toast again and starts to eat it, even if her crunching sounds hard and defiant.

Keith lets it be. The knots in his stomach are starting to ease, too, so he grabs his own toast and bites into it for the first time.

…

Shiro wakes up to a dry, foul-tasting mouth and a pounding head. He can barely breathe with something blocking his nose and mouth. He creaks open one eye, groaning as he realizes his face is stuffed into his pillow.

Slowly, sluggishly, Shiro turns himself to lie on his back rather than his front. His pants scratch him at the waist, squeezing his skin, and he realizes he’s still wearing yesterday’s clothes, having not even taken his jeans off. Smoothing his white lock of hair off his face, he blindly reaches for his phone on his nightstand, missing a few times until his hand finds it, bringing it up to his face. It’s almost noon, the latest he’s slept in a long time.

Shiro sighs, his head still hurting as he forces himself to get up and head to the bathroom. He washes his face with cold water and drinks a little from the tap, feeling a little more awake afterwards. He takes off his jeans in the bedroom, leaving himself in his boxers for comfort, before heading to the kitchen to get himself a late breakfast of cereal and aspirin. He drinks all of the soymilk with the cereal and a few glasses of juice, starting to feel a little more human afterwards. But he’s definitely not as good at dealing with a hangover as he was in college.

He heads to the living room, plopping himself on the couch. The tail end of last night is a little blurry. All Shiro remembers are a lot of drinks and laughter, and Allura and Lance encouraging him to drink more. Shiro hadn’t really felt like arguing because…

Because…

He lets out a long and deep groan, covering his burning face with his hand. He can’t believe he’s let a pet name slip on two separate occasions already and he hadn’t even realized it. He and Keith haven’t discussed that part of their relationship. Adam didn’t particularly like pet names, saying he found them juvenile and childish. Shiro shouldn’t assume Keith would be okay with them without asking.

But he can’t ask right now. Keith has enough to deal with this morning and he doesn’t need Shiro’s sudden pet name crisis added to it. He’s got more important things to worry about.

Shiro lets out a huff of air. He just needs to wait, to take his mind off this. Last night was a good way to do it, but he needs to keep it going until tomorrow at least when he can go back to work. But he’s also still a little hungover and tired, not feeling up to anything serious. Probably more Netflix then.

Shiro blinks with realization, Allura was with him last night, but he can’t really remember what happened to her past a certain point. He knows she can handle herself and can actually hold her liquor much better than any human, but he should probably still check up on her.

He takes out his phone and begins typing a message.

**_Shiro:_ ** _Did you make it home okay last night?_

The response doesn’t take long to arrive.

**_Allura:_ ** _Yes, I’m fine. I’m just taking care of Lance. The poor dear really can’t hold his drink very well._

Shiro chuckles to himself, shaking his head.

**_Shiro:_ ** _Hang in there. And thank you for making sure I got home okay too. I mean, I assume that was you?_

**_Allura:_ ** _Yes, I called us all a hover-taxi and took you up to your house. You spare key came in handy, as did the elevator in your building._

**_Allura:_ ** _How are you feeling? You drank quite a bit as well._

**_Shiro:_ ** _I’m okay. A little hungover, but it’ll pass within a day I’m sure._

**_Allura:_ ** _That’s good to hear._

**_Allura:_ ** _I should go, Lance is throwing up again._

**_Shiro:_ ** _Take care. I’ll see you at work tomorrow._

Shiro licks his lips. Perhaps he should just turn on Netflix and let things lie for now. But even if this isn’t the right time to ask Keith how he feels about pet names, Shiro should probably at least make sure he’s okay, too. After all, shouldn’t he follow up on Keith turning to him specifically for help last night?

Shiro swallows. He doesn’t want to make Keith feel like he’s pressuring him to talk, though. But he still wants to show his support, to show Keith that he’s willing to listen and help if he needs him.

He huffs out a breath. He’s being silly. He shouldn’t let himself still get this worked up over a simple text message. So he quickly taps out a message to Keith

**_Shiro:_ ** _You don’t have to answer this if a lot is going on, but I’m here if you need me._

He turns on the TV and begins browsing the menu for something fun and light-hearted to watch when his phone pings. Shiro quickly grabs it and reads the message.

**_Keith:_ ** _thanks. I talked to Callie, but it’s been rough. she’s just been in her room all day._

**_Shiro:_ ** _Give her some time. I’m sure she’ll come around. It’s probably a good idea to give her some space for the moment._

**_Keith:_ ** _yeah…_

**_Shiro:_ ** _I meant what I said, Keith. I’m here, whatever you need, whenever._

**_Keith:_ ** _distract me then? how was your weekend?_

Shiro smiles. A distraction is certainly something he can provide at least.

**_Shiro:_ ** _I watched **Knights of Thaldycon,** actually. I loved it! Sven and Akira made me cry._

**_Keith:_ ** _they are awesome, aren’t they? you have no idea what they meant to me as a kid._

**_Shiro:_ ** _I can imagine. I wish I had seen the movie when I was young._

**_Shiro:_ ** _I also went bar hopping with Allura and her boyfriend._

Shiro swallows. This feels like the opening he’s been looking for to address the slip that happened over the phone. He doesn’t even need to directly say it. Perhaps Keith doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Shiro can just allude to it, see if Keith wants to talk more about it. There’s no harm in that, right? And Keith asked to be distracted. This is at least something else than Keith’s troubles with his daughter and ex.

Shiro bites his lip and types.

**_Shiro:_ ** _So if I said something weird, it was probably because I was a little drunk._

Shiro’s heart pounds in his ears as he waits for a reply, his hands sweating around his phone. It feels like it takes forever for it to ping with a new message.

**_Keith:_ ** _so you didn’t mean to call me baby?_

Shiro swallows. So Keith does want to talk about it then.

**_Shiro:_ ** _Not without asking you first if it was okay. It just slipped out._

Shiro tries to take a few calming breaths as he waits for Keith’s reply. He tells himself that this isn’t a big deal. Keith doesn’t seem angry at least. If he doesn’t want Shiro to use pet names, Shiro can deal with that. He did it before with Adam after all. It’s no big deal. He shouldn’t be getting this worked up about this.

**_Keith:_ ** _I don’t mind. I kind of…liked it._

Shiro’s heart jumps in his chest with happiness, his joy spreading into a grin on his face.

**_Shiro:_ ** _Then I will call you baby._

**_Shiro:_ ** _I’m cool with pet names too, if you want to use them._

**_Keith:_ ** _I’ll think about it._

**_Keith:_ ** _so anyway…Sven and Akira?_

Shiro smiles.

…

With Shiro to keep him company through texts and talk about _The Knights of Thaldycon_ ; Keith somehow manages to make it through Sunday in one piece, even with Callie holed up in her room and only coming out for meals. And even then, she won’t speak a word to Keith.

The same thing continues to Monday morning. Callie finishes her breakfast and goes to get dressed as Keith asks her to, but she still won’t speak. She’s like a robot with a continuous pout on her face, and each step she takes is heavy with protest. It all makes Keith feel so helpless. He’s not sure what the right thing to do in this situation is. He doesn’t know if he should confront her and talk to her more about what is going on or let her come to terms with things on her own and wait for her to come to him. He just feels frozen and unable to do anything. He’d almost prefer a tantrum and anger over this constant, painful silence.

About fifteen minutes before they have to leave, Keith knocks on his daughter’s door. “Starling? Are you dressed? I’ll do your hair for you.”

He hears little footsteps before the door opens to reveal Callie fully dressed, but still with that pout. Keith tries to take the fact she nudges her head to invite him inside as a sign of something good, a peace gesture, even if she’s still not talking.

Callie takes her seat on her bed and Keith sits next to her, starting to part her hair in the middle and put it in two neat pigtails, grabbing her favorite purple butterfly hair ties from her desk to finish them.

“It’s okay if you’re mad at me,” Keith says softly as he braids the second pigtail. “You’re allowed to be mad, or upset or disappointed. Whatever it is that you are feeling. But I want you to know whatever me and your Papa have or don’t have has nothing to do with you. You’ll always be both our daughter, whether we’re together or not.”

Callie doesn’t answer, doesn’t so much as move to show she has heard anything. But once Keith has finished plaiting her hair, she hops off the bed and offers her hand for Keith to take. Keith smiles, taking it and leading her towards their front door to grab their coats.

Perhaps everything will be okay after all. He has to believe that. Because no matter what, he is never getting back together with James. He nearly destroyed himself the last time he tried that, and he’s not so damaged that he’d repeat the same mistake twice. He can’t wreck himself just because it’s what Callie wants, even if it means she’ll always be missing one of her parents.

They both just need to learn how to live with that fact.

…

Shiro finishes tying up the last word of his latest column with a satisfied hum. He glances down at the clock on his computer screen and sees that it’s nearly lunchtime. Maybe he’ll get a sandwich from the place across the street, since he’s not going to be seeing Keith today. Shiro had suggested it, given how rattling Keith’s weekend was, but Keith had wanted a few more days to gather himself and just focus on his job for a bit. Shiro just hopes that he’s not pulling away, out of some sense of guilt or because he feels he needs to for some reason. If Keith really wanted him to, Shiro would of course let him go, but if that were to happen, he’d want it to be on Keith’s own terms rather than because he feels he has to.

Sighing deeply, Shiro wonders if Allura would be up for joining him for lunch when his phone starts to ring. His heart leaps, rushing to grab it, hoping it might be Keith. His joy immediately drops when he sees it’s the front desk of Oriande Publishing. But he also raises an eyebrow because he almost never gets calls from this number; he has it just in case he needs it for himself.

He quickly accepts the call, pressing the phone to his ear. “Hello?”

_“Mr. Shirogane,”_ Romelle’s voice speaks into his ear. She sounds oddly nervous, almost concerned; not like the cheerful, preppy girl who greets Shiro every time he comes to work. _“I don’t really know how to say this…”_

“What is it?” Shiro says, worry lacing his voice. “Has something happened?”

_“There is someone down here to see you,”_ Romelle says. _“She says she won’t leave until you meet with her, and I don’t think I can exactly turn her away.”_

“Why not?” Shiro asks with a blink.

_“Because she appears to be maybe six or seven years old.”_

Shiro’s heart jumps into his throat. “I’ll be right there.”

He hangs up and swiftly walks towards the elevators, grinding his teeth together to control his urge to just run. To try and keep himself together through his sudden panic. Once at the elevators, he can’t quite resist the urge to press the button down several times, even knowing it won’t make it go any faster. But at least it’s something to do for his restless hands. Shiro rushes into the elevator as the doors slide open, pressing the button for the ground floor, and trying to get his breathing under control as he waits to reach it.

He can’t help fidgeting with his hands. Shiro has a pretty good idea who he’s going to be seeing when he comes down to the lobby, given he doesn’t know all that many six-year-old little girls, but it doesn’t make him any less anxious. How did she even get here? What is she doing here? Isn’t she supposed to be at school?

The elevator finally pings having reached the ground floor, pushing air out of Shiro’s lungs. He rushes through the doors as soon as they slide open, running towards the front desk. He quickly spots the small form of a familiar dark-haired little girl standing in front of it, barely able to see above it. At the sound of his approaching, the girl turns to look at him and immediately proceeds to glare at him.

“Mr. Shirogane,” Romelle greets with a cautious smile. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

Shiro gives her a quick nod, trying to catch his breath as he turns back to look at the little girl, trying not to become phased by her glare. 

“Callie,” he gasps out. “What are you doing here?”

Keith’s daughter only glares harder at Shiro, crossing her arms over her chest for good measure. “You need to leave my Daddy alone. My Papa and my Daddy are gonna be together and you need to stay away.”

Ah. Shiro blinks with understanding, before letting out a sigh. This may be the first time a child has actually confronted him about their parents not being together, and the first time Shiro is actually together with one of the parents. But he’s seen children all across the board wishing their parents to be together, wanting more than anything for their family to be whole, and not being able to understand why they’re not.

It’s never not upsetting to see, even in cases where it really is better for the parents to split or, in this case, stay apart.

Shiro moves to slowly, softly crouching down so he can look Callie in the eyes as he talks to her. “If your Daddy wanted me to stay away, I would. But he hasn’t said anything about that to me.”

“Because Daddy is being mean and stupid,” Callie huffs. “He can’t see that he needs to be with Papa.”

“Why does he need to be with Papa?” Shiro asks gently.

“Because that way we can be a family! And because Papa loves him, and not being with Daddy makes him sad.”

“Does not being with Papa make Daddy sad too?” Shiro prompts softly.

Callie bites her lip, averting her large eyes. She looks remarkably like Keith when she does, and despite the situation, seeing it makes Shiro’s heart grow warm with affection for her. He just hopes he can make her understand in a way that doesn’t make things worse or hurt her more, for Keith’s sake and for hers.

“I…” Callie murmurs off to her side.

“Callie,” Shiro says, shifting a bit closer to her. “If two people don’t both want to be together, trying to force a relationship is only going to make both of them sad in the end. Even your Papa.”

“But Papa is so nice,” Callie says softly, turning to meet Shiro’s eyes. Hers are welling up with tears, reddening in the process. Her voice is tight. “Why doesn’t Daddy love him?”

“It just doesn’t work like that,” Shiro says softly. “From what I know, your Daddy did love your Papa once. Your Papa didn’t feel the same way then, or at least he didn’t show it enough, and that hurt your Daddy a lot. And now, I don’t think he can quite forget that.”

“Why not?” Callie demands in a high, choked voice, tears spilling down to her cheeks. Shiro tries not to let his heart break at the sight of it. He needs to see this through and explain.

“He wants to protect himself. He can’t bring himself to love your Papa anymore for his own good,” Shiro says.

“But I love Papa,” Callie says.

“And that’s okay,” Shiro says. “Your Daddy wants you to love your Papa. He doesn’t want to come between you two. He just can’t be with him himself.”

“Then…” Callie sniffles, lowering her head, more tears spilling down her flushed face. “We’re never going to be a family.”

“They _are_ your family, Callie. Regardless of whether or not your Daddy and Papa love each other, they still both love _you_. That is enough to make them your family,” Shiro says, digging his pockets for a tissue. “I understand that it hurts not being able to be with them both all the time, but you can’t forget that there are a lot of people out there who love you. Not just your parents, but all your aunts and uncles and everyone else important in your life.”

Callie looks up at him silently. She’s not glaring anymore, and she seems to be done crying.

Shiro gives her an encouraging smile, handing over the tissue. “Here.”

Callie’s throat pops with a swallow as she reaches for the tissue, wiping her eyes and blowing her nose. As she hands the tissue back to Shiro, she looks him right in the eyes.

“…Do you love my Daddy?” she asks softly.

Shiro’s heart jumps into his throat. He hadn’t been ready for that question, not even from himself, let alone someone else. Least of all his boyfriend’s daughter. He’s been trying to avoid thinking about himself and Keith like that for a reason. It’s just too soon, too early to be thinking about love. And Shiro had thought he and Keith would have more time before that came up. But now Keith’s daughter is looking him in the eyes, searching for reassurance and something else – answers, maybe – and Shiro can’t help but sigh. He knows he can’t deny the truth or lie to her, not when what he really feels in his heart is what she desperately needs to hear at this moment.

“I do,” Shiro breathes out.

Callie won’t let him dwell on that realization, though, quickly pressing on with, “Do you make him happy?”

“I try my best to, at least,” Shiro says, doing his best to keep the storm of his emotions inside. “He makes me very happy, but I don’t know how he feels.”

“I think you do make him happy,” Callie admits quietly, lowering her eyes. “He’s been…different, since he met you.”

Shiro’s heart leaps with joy, gasping in a breath, and he can’t help the smile that escapes him, though at least he manages to avoid the manic grin he would like to wear for the occasion. He swallows around his eagerness, trying his best to refocus back on the situation. He can have his emotional journey through all of this later, when the more pressing matters have been dealt with.

God, is this what it’s like to be a parent? Is this what Keith goes through every day? As if Shiro didn’t have a high enough opinion of him already…

“Oh, isn’t that just wonderful, Mr. Shirogane?” Shiro jumps at the sound of Romelle’s voice somewhere above him. He’d completely forgotten she was there.

“Y-yeah…” he mumbles, a little breathless. “It sure is, Romelle.”

“I told you, Callie,” Romelle says. “I said Mr. Shirogane is very nice.”

Callie looks up towards her, giving her a small smile. “Yeah. I guess he is.”

Shiro clears his throat, feeling himself blush. This wasn’t what he had been expecting for today. But it’s something he has to deal with, and has to learn to handle if he truly wants to be with Keith for a longer period of time. So he swallows down his embarrassment and turns his attention back on the little girl in front of him.

“Callie,” he says gently, waiting a moment for her to turn to meet his eyes again. “No matter what happens between me and your Daddy, I’m not going to come between you and your Papa, okay? He’s your Papa. I would never try to hurt that relationship. I just…” He sighs. “I just care about your Daddy. And I want to be with him and try to make him happy, in whatever capacity he allows me to.”

Callie chews on her lip, but this time she looks more like she’s thinking through the thought rather than pouting. Shiro waits for her answer with a pounding heart. “…I guess that’s okay.”

Shiro lets out a sigh of relief. He smiles at the little girl, offering his left hand towards her. “Come on. Let’s go up to my office. We can call your Daddy from there.”

Callie’s face pales, her eyes widening in alarm. “Do we have to call Daddy?”

“I’m afraid so,” Shiro says with a sympathetic smile.

Callie pouts, crossing her arms again. “And here I thought you were cool.”

Shiro snorts. “Not that cool, I’m afraid.”

Callie keeps her lip pouted as she gives Shiro’s offered hand a long look. Then, slowly, she reaches out with her own small one to take it.

Shiro smiles, straightening up to stand properly. “Come along then.”

Despite the pout she follows Shiro and they begin the walk to the elevators. And that’s good enough for Shiro, for now.

…

Keith can barely take in the tall, gleaming, magnificent building that stands before him from the way his heart pounds in his chest and ears, like it has for the past hour. His stomach hurts, and he does his best to not just run inside, having just enough thought to know that would not be appropriate in a place like this. He settles on power walking through the glass doors into the enormous lobby, his gaze immediately honing in on the blonde receptionist by the front desk, and quickly making his way over her.

“My name is Keith Kogane,” he says in one rushed breath as she looks up. “Mr. Shirogane is supposed to be waiting for me?”

“Oh, yes,” the receptionist says with a friendly smile, her cute long pigtails bouncing as she moves. Now that he’s a little closer, Keith can see the blue Altean marks and pointed ears that she has, too. “Just keep going to the right, you’ll find the elevators there. Mr. Shirogane is in his office on the twenty-fifth floor.”

“Thank you,” Keith gasps with a quick nod of gratitude, before making his way in the direction pointed for him.

He finds the black, shining stone elevators easily enough in the pure white alcove carved for them, and the bright pure stone only adds to the beginnings of his headache. Keith takes in a deep breath, quickly moving to press the button to go up, fidgeting with the straps of his backpack as he waits for the elevator to arrive. As soon as it does, he rushes inside, his stomach still in knots. The movement upwards doesn’t exactly help, making him feel rather dizzy.

As the elevator finally stops moving and pings to announce his arrival on the correct floor, Keith attempts a calming breath. Not that it seems to do him much good, especially when the elevator doors slide open to let him into a busy, chaotic and _loud_ office space. It’s full of young twenty and thirty-somethings, all of them dressed better than Keith probably has in his entire life, and all of them either chatting with someone or doing something with their computers in their cubicles. The whole floor is lit up with the sunlight coming in from the windows that cover the entire wall space. It’s so different from the clinical, quiet atmosphere at Marmora that Keith wonders how in the world Shiro can work in a place like this every day and get anything done.

The noise and the bright light are making his headache and nausea worse. No one has even given him a second glance, and Keith looks around himself nervously. He can’t spot Shiro’s tall, familiar, comforting form anywhere in the constant movement and noise going on about him.

Keith’s heart pounds heavily in his chest, cold sweat starting to gather in his hands. He’s not making any progress just standing here. He needs to get moving. He needs to find someone he can ask about Shiro if he can’t find the man himself. He won’t let this be the thing that breaks him today, not even when he hates talking to strangers, not when they all look too preoccupied to talk to him, not…

“Excuse me?” a gentle soft voice lilted with an accent speaks from Keith’s left.

Keith turns to the direction of the voice, and seeing the owner of it only serves to make Keith that much more nervous. The woman in front of him is beautiful in an almost otherworldly way – which makes sense, given she has the pink marks shaped vaguely like triangles, the pointed ears and the purple pupils that clearly mark her as an Altean. Her skin is dark brown and her hair silvery white and fluffy, currently pulled up into a neat bun at the back of her head. She’s willowy and tall, a little more so than Keith in her high heels. Her beautiful, pressed suit she makes Keith feel like he must look absolutely ridiculous standing in front of her like this, his second-hand winter coat just hastily wrapped around him, his scrubs visible beneath, his hair wind-swept and his face sweaty and flushed.

“Is there something I can help you with?” the Altean woman says, continuing to speak in that soft, kind, but somewhat curious tone. “It looks to me like you might be a little lost.”

Keith swallows, trying to keep his hands still so they won’t shake and reveal his nerves. In a place like this, he really must look that way, standing out like a sore thumb.

Still, he came here for a reason and he’s not going to leave until he’s done what he needs to do.

“I…I am looking for Shiro?” he manages to stammer out.

“Oh!” she says, her face lighting up in a happy smile filled with straight, white teeth. “I can take you to him.”

Keith lets out a short sigh of relief. “Thank you so much, miss.”

“Don’t worry about it,” the woman says, stepping past him and motioning him to follow. Keith does, one step behind her out of some notion of respect. “Are you by any chance Keith?”

Keith blinks, surprised she knows him. But perhaps it’s not so strange. Shiro might’ve mentioned to at least some people that he was coming, given the strange circumstances. “Y-yeah, that’s me…”

She gives him another smile over her shoulder. “Shiro has told me so much about you. It’s so nice to finally meet you, even if it is during the situation at present. My name is Allura.”

If she wasn’t still watching him, Keith would’ve hit himself in the forehead for being so stupid and not realizing who she is right away. Of course she’s Allura. There’s no way anyone that beautiful could be anyone but the descendant of the Altean royal family, when she looks every inch like a fairytale princess.

“Likewise. It’s…it’s nice to meet you,” he says, a little breathless as he follows her through the chaos of the office, trying not to bump into anyone. For Allura, every step seems so natural, like she’s not at all worried about running into anyone. Or perhaps people just step out of her way out of respect. “Did…did Shiro mention I’d be coming?”

“It was necessary that it came up, yes,” Allura says, her expression softening into one of sympathy. “It is not every day that he brings a little girl here into the office.”

Keith hangs his head with an embarrassed sigh. “I am so sorry. I don’t understand how this could’ve happened. I’ll make sure to give my daughter a thorough talking-to.”

“She hasn’t been any trouble, don’t worry,” she says, just before she stops walking right in front of one of the doors to the surrounding glass walled rooms. “Here we are. This is Shiro’s office.”

Keith looks up. The first thing he notices is the white lettering on the door, spelling,

_Takashi Shirogane_ ,

_Shiro the Hero Column_

Behind the glass opens a minimalist, neat office with an open view from the windows, a desk with a computer, a few black leather couches to the side and a few plants to liven up the space. Keith lets out a sigh of relief as he sees Callie seated in the corner of one of the couches, her _ABC’s_ book in her lap and her backpack and coat next to her. Finally seeing that she’s indeed safe and sound makes the knots in Keith’s stomach unclench.

Seeing Shiro calmly typing away on his computer at his desk helps soothe his sweating hands, too, though the sight of him so focused on his work also does things to Keith’s heart. Shiro’s brows are furrowed, completely off in his own world. He doesn’t even seem to have noticed him and Allura even though they’re as visible to him as he is to them. It reminds Keith of how seriously Shiro takes every task, how attentive he is to everything around him. And it’s such an attractive look on him.

“Keith?” Allura’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts.

“Sorry,” Keith says, shaking himself out of his stupor. He needs to focus. He’s here for Callie, nothing more. He can’t let his thoughts of Shiro overtake what is about to happen. He turns to Allura, making an attempt at a grateful smile towards her. “Thank you for showing me the way. I’ll take it from here.”

Allura nods at him, giving him a soft sort of smile. “It was not a problem. Hopefully the next time we see each other, we’ll be able to talk a bit more.”

“Yeah,” Keith says, returning her nod, before turning towards the glass door.

He can vaguely see Allura leaving him from the corner of his eye, and with that, Keith takes in a deep breath and knocks, making both Callie and Shiro look up from their tasks. Keith takes that as permission to pull the door open and walk in. Stepping over to loom over his daughter on the couch, hands on his hips and putting on his sternest expression.

“You are in so much trouble, young lady,” he says, his voice low and serious. 

To her credit, Callie lowers her eyes down to her feet with what appears to be shame. “I know, Daddy.”

“What were you thinking?” Keith demands, unable to stop his voice from growing louder, shriller. “Do you have any idea how I felt when I got a call from your school, telling me you’d disappeared during lunch, and that they had no idea where you were? Do you understand that something could’ve happened to you; that no one might have been able to find you or help you?!”

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” Callie says, sounding choked, her little hands tightening into fists over her knees. Keith tries not to let that soften him up. “I just wanted to talk to Mr. Shiro alone.”

“Well, this was not the way to do it, Calypso.” Callie winces. Keith almost never calls her by her proper name. “If you really wanted to talk to Shiro, you should’ve just asked me. I would’ve called him so you could talk.”

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” Callie repeats softly.

Keith sighs, running his fingers through his bangs. His head is starting to hurt again. “Put on your coat, I’m taking you home. And you’re grounded, indefinitely.”

Callie just nods down at her feet, still not looking at Keith as she grabs her coat from her side and starts to put it on. As she does, Keith turns towards Shiro. He owes him at least a few words, even if right now that’s all he has the time or the ability to give.

“Thank you for calling me,” he says with as much sincerity and softness as he can muster under his current mood. “And for looking after her.”

“Of course,” Shiro says, nodding. “If you need anything…”

“We’ll be fine from here, I think. We just need to get home and talk some more,” Keith says. “But I’ll text you later?”

“Okay,” Shiro says softly, with another nod.

Keith looks at Shiro’s slumped shoulders and is overcome with the sudden urge to apologize. Apologize for dragging Shiro into his mess, for having such a complicated life, for not able to give him more right now or perhaps ever. But the words seem stuck in his throat and he bites his lip. Callie can still hear them. Keith can’t say all of that in front of her, not just because she’s too young to hear about his relationship troubles but because he can’t be sure she won’t tell James. And he can’t trust that James wouldn’t use that against him the way he uses everything else.

So instead, he just swallows and turns back over to his daughter, seeing her finish putting her backpack on and taking her hand.

“Come on, Callie. We’re leaving,” he says, starting to lead her to the office door.

He spares Shiro a glance over his shoulder, but that’s all he has time for, before he needs to start navigating the chaos of the office again. Now that he’s been through it once, he knows the way back to the elevators, but with so many people and with a child in tow, the walk feels twice as long and leaves Keith winded by the time he and Callie make it into the elevator.

Keith keeps holding his daughter’s hand, but the two of them make their way down in complete, stifling, awkward silence. With everything that has happened in the past hour and a half, Keith needs that silence to calm himself a little before he actually talks to Callie about everything that just happened. He’s not sure if it’s great parenting to let her stew for a little while, but he hopes it’ll show her he really means business this time at the very least. This isn’t something she can just talk her way out of. She may be too young to realize how dangerous what she did was, but Keith certainly isn’t. And this is the only way he knows how to teach her how wrong her actions were so she’ll never do anything like that again.

The elevator pings with the announcement they’ve reached the ground floor, and the doors quickly slide open. Keith leads Callie out by the hand.

“Bye, Callie!” the blonde receptionist calls as they pass her. Keith raises an eyebrow.

“Bye Romelle,” Callie says, giving her a wave over her shoulder in response.

Keith bites his lip. He’ll ask her about that business another day. For now, he leads his daughter out of the beautiful, shiny building Shiro works in, and over across the street a little ways to where he left his car before. He unlocks the vehicle and helps Callie in before taking his own seat and moving out of the parking space and to the street. He takes a deep breath, preparing himself. It’s best they do this now and get it over with. After all, he and Callie have always talked the best in this car.

“Tell me what happened,” Keith says, serious but not as stern as before, keeping his eyes on the road. “How did you even get to Shiro’s workplace? How did you know where he worked?”

“I saw him in a magazine at Papa’s,” Callie says from her seat behind him. “It had the address of the building on it. I just looked it up online and found a bus route to take me there from school. I bought the ticket with my allowance money.”

Keith blinks, actually a little impressed by his daughter’s resourcefulness. But saying that out loud would only encourage her, so he keeps his mouth shut as they come to a red light and stops the car.

“But why did you even go there?” he demands, taking the opportunity to glance over at her. “What possible reason would you have…”

“I thought he was giving Papa bad advice to drive him and you apart!” Callie cries, turning to meet his gaze. “I thought he was the reason you didn’t wanna be with Papa and I thought I could…”

“Wait,” Keith says. “What do you mean ‘giving bad advice’ to Papa?”

“Papa wrote to him in the magazine,” Callie says. “He said that’s why you would get back together for sure; because Mr. Shiro, who is good at giving advice, was telling him how to make it happen.”

Keith feels his heart stop in his chest.


	11. Chapter 11

Shiro’s thoughts keep circling around his head, to the point of almost making him dizzy. He really hopes that Keith and Callie will be okay. He knows what happened must’ve been horrible for Keith, given how he sounded like he was ready to cry out of sheer relief when Shiro called him on the phone and told him Callie was with him. He certainly looked like the whole world was weighing on him when he arrived in Shiro’s office, pale and flushed at the same time. His hair a mess and still wearing his scrubs beneath his coat like he had just grabbed it on his way out to get his daughter.

He stares at the unfinished column in front of him on his computer screen. While they were waiting for Keith to arrive, he had actually been able to work a little. Callie was surprisingly calm, and a nice companion in his office even though Shiro didn’t even have snacks to offer her. But now it’s like he can’t even form the next word in his mind, let alone put it on paper.

With another sigh, Shiro makes sure he’s saved what he’s written before closing his writing program and signing out on the computer. It’s clear he won’t be getting any more work done today. It’s been a strange day and he needs to process all of it, so he might as well just leave the office for now. Besides, with Callie’s arrival, he’d never gotten to eat lunch, so he should just go eat something and then head back to his apartment. Maybe afterwards he might be able to get some work done in a space that doesn’t constantly serve as a reminder of today's upheaval.

He grabs his coat from its hanger and wraps it around himself, before heading out of his office and towards the elevators. Just as he reaches them and presses the button to go down, he spots Allura at the other end of the row of elevator doors.

“Shiro!” she says with a smile, starting to approach him with the delicate clack of heels accompanying her.

“Hey,” he says, managing a smile in her direction.

“You’re leaving?” she asks as she reaches him, kind but curious with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Shiro says, the word coming out more like a sigh. He shrugs. “It’s been…it’s been a day.”

“It certainly has.” Allura nods. “Keith seems nice, though. I showed him the way to your office.”

Shiro smiles, a dust of pink raising to his cheeks. “He is. Thank you.”

“His daughter seems sweet too, if a little rambunctious,” Allura remarks.

“Yeah,” Shiro says.

Even today, he didn’t get to spend that much time with Callie, and the two of them mostly did their own things in the same space. But he thinks he wouldn’t mind changing that whenever Keith might be comfortable with it. Just the little he learned has made him grow very fond of the little girl, and he knows that her approval of him will be the most important thing going forward, aside from Keith’s own feelings. He meant it when he said he wasn’t going to come between Callie and James, but… he really hopes that she and him might have some kind of a relationship, too. After all, Callie is still young. If Keith and Shiro are going to last, she’s inevitably going to become a part of his life as well. And he plans to take that very seriously going forward, with as much space as Keith and Callie will allow him.

“I want to meet Keith properly soon. I told him that as well, so you best keep that in mind,” Allura says, eyebrows lowered mock-sternly.

Shiro manages a chuckle at that, before giving her a playful, two-fingered salute. “I shall, Princess.”

The old nickname causes Allura to chuckle too, just as Shiro’s elevator announces its arrival with the usual ping.

“Well, I should be going,” Shiro says as the doors slide open before him.

“Have a good day, Shiro. Get some rest,” Allura says warmly.

“I will.”

Shiro steps inside the elevator and watches the doors slide shut, separating him from his friend. It’s a relief when Shiro reaches the bottom floor, to be out of the office and on his way to get something to eat. Now that he has space to properly think again, his stomach is growling with hunger.

“Hey, Shiro,” Romelle greets him as he passes her.

“Hey,” Shiro says, a little tiredly.

“I guided Callie’s Dad to you before. And I saw them leave a while back,” Romelle says.

“Yeah, he came to get her,” Shiro says.

“I hope she didn’t get into too much trouble,” Romelle says. “She really is quite the clever little girl.”

“She’s with her Dad now,” Shiro says. “He’ll know what’s best.”

“I guess,” Romelle says with a shrug. “You heading for lunch?”

“Heading out,” Shiro says. “See you later.”

“See you!” Romelle calls cheerfully.

Shiro sighs as he makes his way to the door of Oriande Publishing. He likes Romelle’s enthusiasm and cheer most days just fine, but after the day he’s had he just needs some peace and quiet, away from people.

The cool outdoor air biting his face calms him down a little, as he walks to a nearby diner. It’s not as busy as it would be during the main lunch rush, but Shiro still doesn’t feel like sticking around, so he orders his food to go. The service is pleasantly fast – perhaps the waiter working the register can tell he needs to be somewhere not here right now – and Shiro is soon able to get going with his food.

He makes his way to his apartment, takes out some proper plates for his meal and eats at his table, slowly letting the food and being in a quiet place calm him, to wash away the weirdness of this day and his worry for Keith. He can’t do anything about that for now. He just needs to trust that if Keith needs him, he’ll come to him. Keith is still Callie’s Dad, after all, just like he said to Romelle. He’ll need to deal with everything that has happened on his own, too.

Shiro washes the dishes and puts them away, and just as he’s wondering what to do next, his phone rings on the counter. He grabs it, his heart growing warm when he sees who’s calling. He can feel a soft smile taking over his face as he accepts the call. “Hey, Keith. How did it go with Callie?”

Keith doesn’t answer. All Shiro can hear is someone’s erratic, shaky breathing on the other end. His heart immediately jumps into his throat. This reminds him all too eerily of Saturday evening, of Keith calling him in panic.

“Keith?” he prompts, sure his anxiety it clear in his tone. “Keith? Please, talk to me. Is everything okay?”

_“…Did you…”_ Keith’s voice speaks in a raspy tone, breathlessly through the line.

“…Keith? Did I what?” Shiro says, his heart pounding painfully in his chest. “You’re starting to scare me.”

_“…Did you give James advice on how to get back together with me?”_ Keith’s voice chokes out.

“What?” Shiro gasps. “Where did you hear something like that?”

_“Callie said he wrote to you. That’s why he…”_

Shiro’s stomach drops. Oh god. “Father in Love.” The challenging column. The way he kept imagining him like he was talking to Keith’s ex.

For a good reason, apparently.

“Keith,” Shiro rushes to say. “Keith, I swear, I didn’t know who he was. The letters come in anonymously. If I’d known, I never would’ve answered it.”

Keith snorts on the line, sounding pained. _“But it’s fine if someone else in my situation ends up going through what I have in the past few days?”_

“That’s not what I meant,” Shiro says. “Keith, I…it is true that I gave him advice. But I also said not to push it if you said no. I told him he’d have to accept that.”

_“He was never going to accept it, Shiro,”_ Keith says, his voice sounding like it’s coming from very deep down in his throat, all choked. _“People like him don’t take no for an answer.”_

“Keith, I’m sorry,” Shiro pleads, feeling his own throat tightening, his eyes burning. “I didn’t know this would happen. Please…”

_“I can’t do this right now, Shiro,”_ Keith murmurs. _“My life is a mess. You’ve seen it. And you just make it more complicated than it already is.”_

“Keith,” Shiro gasps. “Keith, please, I lo-”

_“Shiro,_ please _,”_ Keith’s voice begs. _“Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”_

Shiro hears the sound of Keith hanging up on him.

Tears spill down his cheeks, and he grabs the counter just so he doesn’t fall down to his knees in despair.

…

Keith grips his phone tight enough in his hand that his knuckles turn white, pulling it against his chest as if that might make his heart to stop hurting so much. He bites his lip so hard it stings, so hard he’s worried it might start bleeding, but he can’t stop because if he does, the tears burning in his eyes might fall. He doesn’t deserve to cry about this. He brought this on himself. This is his mess, and now he has to lie in it and be a grown man who doesn’t cry. Not even when this cut feels deeper, wounding him more than when James threw him out that day, all those years ago.

He breathes in and out slow and deep a few times, hoping it might help. It doesn’t. It just makes his lungs ache. His fingers itch with the need to just call Shiro back, to say he’s sorry and that he didn’t mean any of that. To tell him everything and figure something out. He knows he and Shiro could have something amazing. He cares about Shiro so much and he knows Shiro cares about him too. But that’s exactly why Keith can’t call him. It would only make things worse in the end, for both of them. If Shiro didn’t deserve to be dragged into his mess of a life before, then now…

No. Shiro deserves more than being treated as some sort of pawn to be tossed around at will. Keith has to leave him alone, no matter how much he might want to be held by him, to be comforted and told everything will be okay. That Keith doesn’t have to be scared. That James has no ground to stand on.

Keith’s been telling himself that ever since James hung up on him, leaving him shaking and numb. James has always had a way of making him freeze with fear, but never like this. No matter how James may have treated him or manipulated him, Keith had always been confident that he’d never be able to touch his guardianship of Callie. He may have been able to damage their relationship, in ways that have hurt and cut Keith deeply; but he knows he has a strong relationship with his daughter and they’ve always managed to pull through and fix things.

He knows he’s a good Dad. There’s a reason James has never threatened him with even the idea of trying to take Callie away from him before. James may have the money and the connections to gain access to better lawyers than Keith, but Keith has always had the truth on his side. The truth of how for the first three years of Callie’s life he was a single parent. How even now James is more her friend than her parent. And that’s not even going into the abuse Keith has suffered from him for years.

He always thought having the main custody over Callie was the one sure thing in his life he could count on; so long as he kept being the best possible parent he could be for her, the way he has always tried to be. He can hardly believe how that changed in just a few hours. Of course the school had to call James too, as Callie’s other father, to ask if he had seen her just like they had called Keith. Of course James had learned about it and figured out just how to use it against Keith.

Of course he had to go and make sure that Keith would never be happy with someone else. Never be happy, period, if James had anything to say about it.

His throat feels so tight. He can barely breathe. His view of the hallway he’d escaped into, to make his call becomes a blur of gray in his vision. He tries to bite his lip harder but it does nothing to stop the first tears slipping out.

He hates the school for calling James. Hates James for blackmailing him like this, for taking away his happiness so easily. Hates himself for being so weak that he gave in under the pressure.

But he can’t give up his daughter. Not for anything. Not even Shiro. He just prays to the Stars that James won’t take the issue to court now that Keith’s done as he asked. That he can withstand the rest of his life alone, enduring everything James will surely throw at him as punishment for daring to fall in love with someone else. But most of all, as more tears escape his eyes, he prays Shiro will be okay, that he’ll forget all about Keith soon enough and that he’ll find something better after him. Someone more worthy, with a much less complicated life than Keith’s is bound to be in the future.

…

Somehow, Shiro manages to make his way through his tears into his bedroom, falling down into his bed and curling up to cry, still in his day clothes.

He doesn’t understand how things could’ve turned out this way. How could they have gone so wrong so suddenly, so out of nowhere? He can understand why Keith would feel hurt by what happened, why he might feel betrayed and vulnerable, but… Perhaps it had been foolish of him, but Shiro had thought after everything they had shared between them, they would’ve been able to withstand this. He never would’ve thought something like this would be enough to split them apart already.

His head swims with so much emotion that he’s glad he’s laying down. He’s so confused, so full of sorrow and hurt. He thought Keith knew that he would never do anything to hurt him, or anyone, on purpose. He thought Keith had seen the worst of him and still thought of him as a good man. He thought Keith understood that he took his job very seriously, but couldn’t be responsible for how the people who wrote to him behaved in the end.

Perhaps it’s stupid of him, but this doesn’t feel like a reason why Keith would break up with him. And over the phone no less. He’d thought Keith would at least have the dignity and respect Shiro enough to do it face-to-face.

How could this have happened?

He loses track of time, loses track of how long he’s cried, loses track of everything. By the time he comes to once more, it’s dark and his pants are pressing in on his waist. He must’ve fallen asleep.

Swallowing around his dry throat, Shiro flops down onto his back and undoes his belt, shimmying out of his pants, before quickly taking off his sweater, leaving only a t-shirt and boxers on. He grabs his phone and opens up the message window with Allura.

**_Shiro:_ ** _Won’t be able to make it to work tomorrow, sorry._

He unwraps his bed covers, shuffling himself under them, covering himself up again, and falling into uneasy rest once more.

…

On Tuesday morning, Keith gets up, nauseous, dizzy and feeling like he might cry at any moment. He’s not sure he slept at all again, no matter how badly he wanted to escape into the emptiness of dreams. He was only able to hide his distress from Callie last night, because he told her to stay in her room to think about what she’d done. And by the time they had to work on her homework and then have dinner, he had managed to somewhat compose himself.

Keith manages to somehow make his way to the kitchen to put the coffee pot on and start on breakfast. He makes warm BLTs today, thankful for the distraction of cooking and the helpful effect of coffee. It tastes bitter going down and hurts his throat, and he’s fairly certain it’s making his nausea worse, but at least it makes him feel a little less like he’s going to keel over at any moment.

“Daddy?” Callie’s voice calls to him from the direction of her room. Keith turns to look, seeing her poke her head out from the doorway. “Can I come out for breakfast?”

“Yeah,” Keith says with a nod. “And if you’re good, you’ll get to be in the rest of the house by the end of the week outside of mealtimes, too.”

Callie gives a nod and a brief smile, before stepping out from the doorway and walking to take her usual seat at the table. Keith smiles a little down at his cooking pans. He’s honestly quite proud of how well she’s taking all of this. She’s only six but already knows when to accept her punishment with grace, dignity and maturity. Seeing it makes Keith feel a little better. She’s growing into a fine young person and he knows he’s done right by her. She’s the reason he’s doing all of this, and she’s worth every sacrifice. His dear, dear heart.

He plates the food and arranges it all into sandwiches, adding the lettuce in too, before carrying them and the cutlery over to the table.

“Thank you, Daddy,” Callie says sweetly as she gets hers, immediately taking the sandwich and biting into it with a fine crunch.

Keith finds himself just staring down at his breakfast. The idea of eating makes his stomach roll, but he knows coffee is not good for him on an empty stomach, so he makes himself take a few bites. The sandwich is like cardboard in his mouth, tasteless and dry. Chewing it makes his teeth ache and his mouth feel strange, and swallowing it down is painful.

“Daddy?” Callie says, making Keith look up. “You look sad.”

Keith swallows around his latest bite, feeling his eyes burning again and his throat closing up. He swallows again, taking a quick breath. “I am a little sad, Starling. But I’ll be okay.”

“Are you still mad at me?” Callie asks softly, lowering her eyes down at her plate.

“No,” Keith says honestly, equally soft. “There’s just been a lot going on lately. It’ll be okay with a little bit of time.”

He has to believe that at least.

“…Okay,” Callie murmurs, taking another bite of her sandwich.

“But you’re still grounded,” Keith says, a little firmer this time.

“I know,” Callie says. “That’s okay too.”

Keith manages a smile in her direction at that. “I’m proud of you. Not everyone would take their punishment that well.”

“Well, I’m not everyone,” Callie says, giving him a bit of a grin back.

Keith smiles a bit wider. “No, you’re not. Now finish your breakfast so we can get going.”

“Yes, Daddy.”

…

Shiro wakes up to something ringing and with crusty eyes, dry mouth and exhaustion still weighing him down from the nightmarish, restless sleep he had. With a groan, he rolls onto his side to check his phone, but…no, that’s not his phone ringing or sounding the alarm. That’s a sound he hasn’t heard very often and not very recently. He’d almost forgotten what it sounded like. He had wanted it so badly on his loneliest days in this apartment, but now it’s simply a grating pain in his temples.

It’s the doorbell.

Shiro is shocked enough by the realization that he immediately tosses the covers off himself and begins rushing through the apartment, with his bare feet sounding against the cold floor with each step. His heart is pounding in his ears, wondering who it might be. He knows who he hopes it might be, but Keith has never been here before. Still, it’s not out of the realm of possibility, and Shiro just _wants_ and _hopes_ so badly it aches. 

He unlocks the door and pulls it open, panting out into the hallway. He swallows down his disappointment when he sees it’s not Keith.

Allura holds a plastic bag in front of herself with two hands like a prim and proper lady. “Hey. I wanted to come and check up on you.”

Shiro swallows down the urge to just slam the door at her face, and send her away. But even with Keith gone, he…he’s trying to do better. He can’t let all his progress go to waste. He shouldn’t isolate himself the way he usually does from his friends. Since Allura came to him and on a workday no less, Shiro should be more appreciative of her friendship.

He steps out of the doorway to make way for her. “Come in.”

“Thank you,” Allura says, stepping past him softly, giving him a look up and down as she does. “You look horrible. I brought some soup,” she holds up the plastic bag, “since I thought you must be sick to send me such a message in the middle of the night.”

“I appreciate the thought,” Shiro says softly, moving to walk next to Allura and head over to the kitchen. “But I’m not sick. I just needed a day.”

Allura blinks, setting down the plastic bag on the kitchen table, before lowering her brows and frowning, turning her expression into one of concern. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Shiro swallows down the lump in his throat, painful and deep, fisting his hands. Allura has been here through this entire journey so far. She would find out what happened eventually regardless, and she deserves to know the truth and hear it directly from Shiro. After all, she offered to listen. And perhaps she can even help him make more sense of things.

“…Keith broke up with me last night,” Shiro chokes out, his eyes burning and his throat closing up more and more with each word.

“What?” Allura gasps, narrowing her eyes. “How? No, _why_? I thought things were going well between the two of you, despite the little mishap yesterday?”

“So did I,” Shiro sighs, hanging his head. “But apparently I made a mistake. A bad one. One that Keith couldn’t forgive.”

Allura purses her lips, seeming to think over her words.

“Sit down,” she says, motioning at the chairs around the table. “I’m going to heat up the soup so you’ll have something to eat. Start explaining from the beginning.”

If circumstances were different, Shiro might jokingly ask who she thinks she is, to give him commands in his own apartment, but today he’s just too tired and not in the mood for such things. He lets himself sit in a chair, watching Allura nod with approval as she takes out the plastic container of the bag and removes the lid, heading towards Shiro’s microwave.

“Keith called me yesterday, sometime after I got home,” Shiro starts. “I didn’t think much of it, since he’d said he’d text me earlier. But then he didn’t say anything at first and I worried. And when he did speak, he sounded…upset.”

Shiro watches as Allura turns on the microwave, listening to it hum before turning towards Shiro to give him her full attention, leaning against the counter.

“He told me…he told me that the challenging column from a few weeks ago was actually his ex, James. That my column, my advice had pushed him into…pushing Keith to get back together with him. He said some other things, too, but…”

“You don’t have to explain,” Allura says kindly. “And that’s why he broke up with you?”

Shiro shrugs, unable to find the words to say anything.

“Shiro,” Allura says, stepping over to him to put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “You know it’s not your fault, right?”

“I’m not sure what I know anymore,” Shiro says, lowering his eyes down to his lap. “Except that I must’ve hurt him so badly…” He swallows, taking a few sharp breaths. “I really thought…I really thought this could be it, Allura. Maybe it was stupid. Maybe it was too early, but…I really thought it would last.”

“I know. Me too,” Allura says, moving her hand to stroke Shiro’s shoulder. “It wasn’t stupid.”

The microwave pings to announce it’s done warming up the soup. Allura gives Shiro’s shoulder a pat, before going to retrieve it. She grabs a spoon from one of the drawers on her way back to Shiro, setting the plastic bowl before him, before retreating to the other side of the table.

The soup smells comforting and the steam feels warm on Shiro’s jaw. Having it before him actually does make him feel a little better, like it’s Allura’s friendship made into a tangible shape.

“Thank you for coming, Allura,” he says softly.

“Of course,” Allura says. “And you can take as much time off as you need. I’ll make sure no one has anything to say about it.”

Shiro nods silently, chewing the inside of his mouth. Dealing with other people’s problems, with his column, has always been his method of dealing with…or rather avoiding his own problems. But can he really go back to that knowing the damage he’s done to the one person he wanted to protect more than anyone?

…

The routine of dropping Callie off at school and heading to work feels comforting to Keith. It’s a relief to think he’ll have something else to do other than to wallow in his sorrows and fears, to think he can still do something good for the world through his job. To escape Shiro, James and this whole mess for a while.

He’s actually feeling a little better as he makes his way up to the right floor at Marmora Clinic, to leave his coat and put on a clean set of scrubs. He says hi to a few passing colleagues as he makes his way down the corridor… until his eyes hit the door to the staff lounge. The corner of the kitchen table just visible through the doorway that someone left open a crack on their way out.

That was the table he and Shiro had their very first lunch date at.

Keith can’t breathe. There’s a huge lump in his throat that won’t let him. His whole body shakes, turning him numb and unfeeling except for his throat and his eyes, both burning. Nausea churns in his stomach, and before Keith even notices it, he’s running. He only realizes where he’s going when he’s already kneeling over a toilet bowl, emptying his stomach in a bitter, disgusting manner and coughing.

“It’s okay,” he hears someone murmur behind him, feels them rubbing his back. The soft scratch of the claws through his clothes added to the voice lets him know it’s Ulaz. “Just let it all out, Keith. Breathe for me now.”

Keith opens his mouth for another load of bile to escape him, the bitterness mixing in with the salt of his running nose and eyes on his lips as he does. He takes in a shaking, choked breath to calm down, feeling a little better now that his stomach has been emptied.

He blindly reaches for the flusher of the toilet, missing a few times before managing to pull on it. As the toilet rolls with water, Keith pulls away from it, only to see Ulaz offering him some pieces of paper.

“Thanks,” Keith says in a choked voice, accepting the paper towels to wipe his face and blow his nose.

“You need to go home,” Ulaz says. “I can’t have you working while you’re sick.”

“I’m not sick,” Keith insists.

“There is more than physical kinds of sicknesses, and you know it, Keith,” Ulaz says, stern but kind. “I don’t know exactly what is going on with you, but you’re clearly not well. Take the rest of the day off and go home. You need to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.”

Keith bites his lip, before swallowing down the bitter taste in his mouth. “…Fine.”

“Come on then,” Ulaz says, offering Keith his hand. “Up you go.”

Keith takes his hand and lets Ulaz pull him up. He even lets Ulaz walk him out to the elevators, watching him until the doors slide closed on him. He makes his way to his car and drives to the grocery store, feeling like such a cliché as he buys himself a bucket of ice cream. But he doesn’t know how else to deal with heartache and break-ups other than what he’s learned from the movies. And he figures the cold treat might at least soothe his sore throat some.

He drives himself home and makes his way up to the apartment, the ice cream bucket in hand. He only takes off his winter clothes, grabs a big spoon from the kitchen, turns on the TV to some sitcom marathon he doesn’t really care about, before he starts devouring the cold treat.

He’s not sure how much time passes as he eats and half-lies there. The sitcom episodes all blur together, as do the ice cream and the tears that come. Keith doesn’t get up even to get tissues. He just wipes his cheeks and nose on his sleeve like he’s told Callie so many times that she shouldn’t. But she’s not here right now and he just can’t find the strength to get up.

He blinks, falling slightly out of his numb stupor at the sound of a ring. With another blink, Keith realizes it’s his phone, feeling it vibrate in his pants pocket. He swallows, feeling his heart quiver in his chest, wondering who might be calling. James? Callie’s school? _Shiro_?

He’s not sure which one of those three would be the best or the worst, given how the past twenty-four hours have been. And to think just yesterday at this same time, the idea of Shiro calling had brought him so much joy, too.

He ponders not taking out his phone, not answering. But he also knows if he doesn’t, it’ll just feel much worse in the long run. It’s always better to know and rip off the proverbial band-aid, rather than lie in ignorance and wait. So he pulls out his phone and sighs with relief when he sees it’s none of his guesses calling, but Hunk.

He accepts the call, putting it on speaker, since he’s alone and he doesn’t feel like holding the phone up to his ear. “Hey.”

_“Hey, man!”_ Hunk’s voice rings through. _“Is something wrong? You sound strange.”_

Keith swallows painfully around his sugar-sweet, cold mouth. He’s not sure if he’s ready to say any of what’s wrong out loud yet, to admit that it’s all really happening. But just like he figured at the beginning of his acquaintanceship with Shiro, their world and friends are just too close to each other. With both his and his girlfriend’s curious nature, Hunk is bound to find out what has happened soon enough. It’s best that Keith break the news to him. Especially since if he doesn’t, he’ll just constantly be wondering when Hunk is going to find out, and from who.

“Shiro and I broke up last night,” he says softly

_“_ What _?!”_ Hunk shrieks. _“Why? What happened?”_

Keith swallows again, taking in a breath. He considers lying, considers saying anything else but the truth. He’s always been so ashamed of the truth and this is such a blatant display of everything he’s been trying to hide. The thought of saying it now makes his hands sweat and his heart pound.

But…he’s also tired. He’s so, so tired of hiding. He’s already lost so much to his lies. They haven’t ever helped him one bit. They’ve only made the burden of it all heavier to carry. And this is about Shiro. Keith can’t lie and disgrace him, or what they shared together because he wants to protect himself. He can’t lie about this. He needs to speak to his best friend.

Keith takes in a shaky breath, before sighing out, “James is threatening me.”

He hears Hunk taking in a breath of his own on the other end, but other than that, he doesn’t speak for a moment.

When his voice comes ringing through once again, it is low with severity. _“Tell me everything.”_

Keith feels his eyes burn, but he chokes it down, knowing he needs to speak now or he never will. “When Callie ran away from school yesterday,” he chokes out. “She took a bus by herself to Shiro at his job because James had written to his column about us. I guess Callie wanted to ask why his advice didn’t work because I still didn’t want to be with James. The school called me to let me know she was missing and asked if I knew where she was, and of course…”

He takes in a breath. “Of course they had to call James to do the same. Callie got to Shiro safe, and he called me as soon as she showed up. I was able to go and get her, but now…now James has this to hold over me. That our daughter ran away from the school he doesn’t like and that I chose, just so she could risk her life to go meet my boyfriend halfway across town. He can say Shiro is bad influence, and use that to take her away from me, and I can’t…”

_“Keith,”_ Hunk says, his voice low, but warm. _“It’s okay. It’ll be okay.”_ Keith hears him sigh deeply. _“Why didn’t you come to me? I could’ve helped you. You know we will help you keep Callie, no matter what.”_

“I’m scared of him, Hunk,” Keith admits softly, his body trembling as the tears escape his eyes once more. “I don’t know what he’s capable of anymore. It’s been getting a lot worse than I’ve been able to tell you, and now I feel like it’s too late. I can’t let Shiro get tangled up in all this. I can’t let James use him against me.”

_“Shouldn’t he get to have some say in that?”_ Hunk says.

“Not anymore,” Keith chokes out. “It’s already done. And I can’t keep dangling him like a yo-yo. I’m…I’m too afraid of James. I don’t know how else to keep both Shiro and I safe.”

_“How about Callie then?”_ Hunk asks. _“Do you still think you can trust him with her? Especially since it’s his weekend with her this week, isn’t it?”_

“I don’t know,” Keith says, another tear slipping out. “He’s never physically hurt her before, but I am scared to let her be with him. What he might say to her, but I’m also scared of what he might do if I don’t let her go, or how she might react, or…”

_“Well, I’m assuming you grounded Callie for running away?”_ Hunk says.

“Y-yeah? Why?” Keith stammers, trying to hold in his tears.

_“Tell Jackass that you’re keeping her this weekend since you can’t be sure he’ll actually keep her grounded,”_ Hunk says. _“Offer him a bargain, if he argues. I think right now we need to know where our girl is.”_

Keith licks his lips. “Yeah…yeah, you’re right.”

_“Also, I think you should call Sam and Colleen to babysit on Saturday and come over for lunch, if you can ease up from grounding Callie that much,”_ Hunk continues. _“We could really talk things out then, strategize what to do going forward and so on. Because as much as I hate to say it, for the sake of both of you, I think you might need to take all this to court yourself.”_

Keith takes in a slow, trembling breath, wiping his eyes with his sleeve.

“You might be right,” he murmurs. “I’ll…try to come. I’ll let you know within a few days.”

_“Good,”_ Hunk says. _“Hang in there, buddy. Call or text me if you need anything, okay?”_

“Yeah,” Keith says, and for the first time in his life, he thinks he actually means it. “Thanks for everything.”

_“Anytime, buddy,”_ Hunk says, his voice warm. _“Listen, I gotta go back to work, but talk to you later?”_

“Yeah,” Keith says again. “Bye, Hunk.”

He hangs up, but the breath he takes in afterwards feels a little lighter than the ones before the call.

…

After Shiro finishes off his soup, Allura sends him off to shower and put on some proper pants. The steamy hot water does soothe Shiro some, as does having some food in his belly. He feels a little more alive after he puts on a fresh pair of underwear, some sweatpants and a clean t-shirt. He figures he probably isn’t going to be going anywhere today no matter what, so he might as well dress to be comfortable.

As he steps out of his bedroom door, Shiro finds Allura seated on his couch, looking down at something on her phone.

“Hey,” she says, turning to smile up at him and shutting off her phone. “You look much better now.”

“I _feel_ much better,” Shiro admits. “Thanks for everything, Allura, really.”

“You would’ve – and actually have – done the same thing for me,” Allura says, smiling softly at him.

Shiro begins walking over to her, taking a seat next to her on the couch. “Still. Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it,” Allura says, her eyes darting about over the room, before settling somewhere in front of them.

Shiro follows her gaze, seeing it settle at the digital clock on his TV. He hums. “If you need to get back to work, you can go, you know. I’ll be fine, I promise.”

Allura turns to him, brows furrowed in worry. “…Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” Shiro nods. “I know how important work is. I can’t do mine properly right now, so it’s best I stay here for a while.”

“Hey,” Allura says, reaching to touch his shoulder, her eyes softening. “I meant what I said. Take as much time as you need.”

“I’ll keep you posted,” Shiro says, before getting to his feet. “Come on, I’ll walk you out.”

Allura gives him a smile and stands up on her own. The two of them silently walk the short path over to Shiro’s front door, and Shiro helps her into her coat.

“I’ll be back later to check up on you,” Allura promises as she starts doing the buttons of her coat.

“I appreciate it,” Shiro says with a nod and a small smile. “Have a good day at work.”

“Take care of yourself, Shiro,” Allura says, turning to walk over to the door. She opens it, gives Shiro one last look and waves over her shoulder, and then leaves him alone.

Shiro sighs. Immediately without her, the apartment just feels that much quieter and colder. But he knows he can’t interfere with other people’s lives just because he’s feeling sad and lonely. He’s just going to have to grin and bear the heartache just like the rest of the human population; with the help of his friends but in a way that doesn’t prevent them from living their own lives as well.

Shiro slumps his way over to the couch, rubbing at his temples, wondering how he’s going to make this day go away, when another ringing sound makes him jump. This time, he realizes, it is indeed his phone, making a racket in his bedroom where he left it.

His heart still pounding, Shiro rushes to his feet and to his bedroom to take the call before it cuts off. He searches for his phone in his sheets, desperate to find it, spotting it just in time to see that it’s Hunk who is calling him before he answers the ring.

_“Hey, Shiro,”_ Hunk’s voice rings through.

And it’s only then that Shiro realizes that he maybe shouldn’t have taken the call after all. Hunk is, after all, Keith’s good friend and he might’ve heard what happened between them already. And Shiro’s not sure how ready he is to face the disappointment of his friends that they didn’t work out, or to talk more about what went wrong between him and Keith.

_“Shiro? You there, man?”_ Hunk’s voice speaks.

Shiro swallows. He’s already accepted the call. He can’t go back now. Might as well get this over with. “Yeah, I’m here.”

_“I called Keith a while back,”_ Hunk says, making Shiro’s heart jump painfully. _“He told me about the two of you. How are you holding up?”_

“I’m…okay for now, I guess,” Shiro says, a little choked up. “Allura dropped by and that helped a lot. I’m just…trying to take it all in. Make sense of it all.”

He’s just about to say he doesn’t really want to talk about this right now, when Hunk says, _“There’s a reason you can’t make sense of that equation.”_

“What?” Shiro gasps out.

_“Keith didn’t break up with you because he wanted to,”_ Hunk says, his voice coming through low and serious. _“Jacka…I mean James, his ex, is blackmailing him. He’s threatening to take Callie away, if Keith sticks with you.”_

A flame of fury flares up, bright and hot, inside of Shiro. He bites his teeth together not to let out an angry growl. “That bastard.”

_“Tell me about it,”_ Hunk says.

“Why didn’t Keith just tell me about this himself?” Shiro says, his voice softening. “All I’ve ever wanted is to help him. I thought…I thought he knew he could come to me. I thought he trusted me.”

_“Hey, I’ve known the guy for years and he only now shed some light on how bad it’s been,”_ Hunk says, his voice equally soft with sadness. _“He’s just been…afraid I guess. And if I know Keith, probably also ashamed. Maybe he thought he could handle all of this on his own. Maybe that's why he didn’t tell me until he was at his absolute breaking point.”_

“Maybe,” Shiro hums sadly. “But we can’t just let this happen. If Keith only broke up with me because he was being blackmailed…then I’m not gonna give up on him.”

_“Now we’re talking,”_ Hunk says, his voice perking up. _“Listen, I’ve got a plan. And I’d like to involve you, too, if you’re up for it.”_

Shiro furrows his brows, sitting up straighter, paying attention. “Tell me what I need to do.”

_“I’ll talk to you about the details later, but I need you to come to my and Pidge’s place for lunch on Saturday. We’ll take care of the rest,”_ Hunk says.

“I’ll be there,” Shiro says. He swallows. “Keith…Keith really didn’t break up with me because I gave James advice on how to get back together with him?”

_“You did what?”_ Hunk says.

“He wrote to my column under a pseudonym. That was the reason Keith gave me for ending things,” Shiro says.

_“He didn’t mention that to me at all,”_ Hunk says. _“So I don’t think he’s actually that mad. He was just using it as an excuse. But I’ll look into the column to see if it’s really that bad, just in case.”_

Shiro swallows again. “Yeah…might be the best.”

_“But Shiro,”_ Hunk says in a low voice. _“James is a jerk. You couldn’t have known how he’d take your advice.”_

“Yeah,” Shiro mumbles. “I know…but I never meant to hurt Keith like this.”

_“I’m sure he knows that,”_ Hunk says gently. _“You should’ve heard him after your first date. He sounded so happy. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him like that. You make him happy, Shiro. Don’t let this one thing ruin that.”_

“I’ll try not to,” Shiro says. “So long as he’s willing to give me another chance.”

_“I’m sure of it,”_ Hunk says. _“He’d still be with you, if not for that Jackass. He’s really broken up about it, too.”_

Shiro feels his heart grow warm, and he actually manages a smile at that. He’s not glad Keith is sad, but to know there really is still hope…

_“Listen, I’ve really got to go,”_ Hunk says. _“But I’ll be in touch, okay?”_

“Yeah,” Shiro says. “Thanks for calling, Hunk.”

_“Of course,”_ Hunk says. _“Take care, and I’ll see you Saturday.”_

“Bye,” Shiro says, hanging up.

He takes in a deep breath. There is still hope. He just has to keep it alive.

…

Although the talk with Hunk made him feel a bit better, when Keith picks up Callie from school, it’s in a daze. The same daze everything seems to continue in, through the rest of the day. Keith’s grief and fear have been replaced by sheer numbness. Only the notion of routine gets him through the rest of Tuesday.

He sleeps out of total exhaustion that night, and by morning, he deems himself well enough to go to work. He doesn’t think he can stand another day of lying around doing nothing in any case, and his work soothes him; though he keeps his eyes firmly on the other side of the hallway when he passes the door to the staff lounge.

Keith still gets sudden bouts of wanting to cry, and he puts off telling James that he has no intention of letting Callie go to him for longer than is probably advisable. But even with Hunk’s support, and hope that they might be able to come up with something to help, Keith can’t help the way his hands shake and his stomach turns when he thinks what James might do or say once Keith has said his piece. How he might threaten him.

He finally gathers his courage on Thursday night, knowing that he must. Otherwise James will pick Callie up like normal from school the next day. He swallows around the lump in his throat and begins typing a text message with shaky fingers. It will at least be less personal and more straightforward than a phone call.

**_Keith:_ ** _Callie is grounded this week. I don’t want her going with you tomorrow since you probably won’t keep up the punishment. If you let me keep her, you can have her for the holidays._

Keith’s not sure if he should’ve waited before he starts bargaining, but he’s never been very good at hiding things. Besides, he doesn’t want to give James the chance to get angry before Keith can even get a word in.

It takes a moment, but James replies.

**_James:_ ** _If I can have her from Christmas to New Year’s, then it’s a deal. And I want to take her to see my parents._

Keith grinds his teeth together. He’s never met James’s parents for himself but based on Callie’s stories from a few holiday visits, they are stiff pricks like their son, and Callie hates going to see them. It’s a little surprising to Keith, given how much she loves James, but he supposes James only shows her his fun side rather than his real, stricter side. Callie may not have completely understood what James’s parents were saying about and to her, but Keith understands being spoken down to, and he hates that his daughter will have to experience it.

Screw being cautious. Keith is not exposing his daughter to more of that. What is even the point of being her Dad if he can’t protect her?

**_Keith:_ ** _You can keep her through new years, but you’re not going to see your parents. They make Callie feel bad about herself, and I won’t let anyone do that._

His heart thuds an unsteady, hard beat as he waits for a reply from James. He hopes James’s love for Callie will surpass his need to triumph over Keith or please his parents; that Keith’s reasoning will appeal to both his emotions and his logic. It’s the only valid card he has.

His phone pings with a message, and Keith opens it with shaky fingers.

**_James:_ ** _Fine._

For the first time all week, Keith feels a small sense of relief, hope, and happiness. He lets out a silent cheer, before pulling up the text window with Colleen.

**_Keith:_ ** _hey, would you mind coming over to babysit Callie on Saturday?_

The response is prompt.

**_Colleen:_ ** _Of course. Hunk already told us you might be needing us. We’d love to come :)._

Keith actually manages a smile at that.

**_Keith:_ ** _remember that she’s grounded though. don’t spoil her._

**_Colleen:_ ** _No promises ;)._

Keith shakes his head, knowing that’s about as good as he can expect. He takes in a breath, raising to his feet and walking over to Callie’s door. He still needs to tell her about all this, too. He just hopes she won’t be too disappointed.

He knocks on the door. “Starling? Can I come in? I have something to tell you.”

“Yeah, come in,” Callie’s voice rings from inside.

Keith finds his daughter sitting up in her bed, her pillow holding her back up, as she reads a children’s book on her lap. He gives her a soft smile, walking over to sit at her feet on the bed.

“What did you need to tell me, Daddy?” Callie asks, putting her book aside.

“I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but I don’t think going to your Papa’s this weekend is a good idea, Callie,” Keith says. “I’ve already spoken with him. He’s agreed to let you stay home. In exchange you’ll spend the holidays with him.”

Callie bites her lip, lowering her eyes softly in thought. “Is Papa mad at me?”

“No, no, Starling, of course not,” Keith says in a rush, setting a comforting hand on her ankle since that’s the closest where he can reach. “But you are still grounded and I think we both know he’s not exactly good at sticking out punishments.”

“…I guess that’s true,” Callie says. “Okay then.”

Keith blinks. He honestly was expecting more resistance. But he’s definitely not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

“Granny and Poppop will come over on Saturday to look after you though,” he says gently. “I have some errands to run them.”

Callie looks up that. “Granny and Poppop are coming?”

“Yeah,” Keith says, giving her a smile. “But make no mistake, I’ve told them you’re grounded.”

“Still,” she says, her face spreading into a smile of her own.

Keith lets relief flood over him like a warm wave, comforting him. At least this one thing in his life was easy enough right now.

Callie’s smile falters a little bit after a while. “Did you need anything else?”

“No,” Keith says. “But I could stay if you wanted, we could read together.”

“…Okay,” Callie says, giving him a softer, but no less genuine smile.

…

The arrival of Saturday is a huge relief for Shiro. He ended up staying out of work on sick leave for the rest of the week, but with his newfound purpose, he was able to keep himself well-occupied. He, Hunk, and Katie texted and called with each other all week, doing research, and sharing thoughts and ideas regarding the plan to help Keith. By the time Friday rolled around, each piece seemed solid and in place for the execution.

Shiro wakes up relatively late on Saturday, having spent many days staying up late for research, his limbs jittering with a mix of nerves and excitement for the day. He grabs a quick breakfast of cereal, before heading out for a short jog to burn out most of the restless energy. Afterwards, he takes a long, invigorating shower. He brushes his teeth and makes sure to shave and do his hair up nicely, before going over to his closet to pick out a suitable outfit. He considers the leather jacket, but figures that might be a bit too obvious for the occasion. He wants to seem safe, like an unthreatening, gentle person for Keith to find comfort in. To be a safe place for him to land on, to feel content to rest in Shiro’s arms.

Shiro sighs. Picking out his clothes like this makes him remember his and Keith’s first date. He just hopes that after today, he can again hope that it won’t be their last.

He settles on a nice, soft gray cardigan with a black button-down below and the same jeans he wore to the museum exhibit, just for a little touch of that day to give him luck and keep him steady. By the time he’s finished, he deems it late enough to get going, since he needs to be present before Keith arrives. He grabs his research, the names and numbers he needs for the plan and places them into a satchel, before putting on his coat and heading down to get his bike. The cold air is rejuvenating, the speed getting his blood pumping with joy and relief that this is happening. And no matter what Keith decides about their relationship afterwards, Shiro hopes this will help him somehow.

There are no parking spaces big enough for his bike near Hunk and Katie’s building, so Shiro ends up parking on the next street over. He grabs his satchel and crosses the short path, before making his way up the flights of stairs and ringing their doorbell.

It doesn’t take long for Hunk to open the door, giving him a smile and opening his arms for him. “Hey, man, glad you could make it.”

Shiro steps forward, allowing Hunk to give him a hug. “I wouldn’t have missed it.”

Hunk gives him a quick squeeze before letting go, stepping aside to reveal his girlfriend who also steps forward to give Shiro a hug, mumbling into his shoulder, “I wanna murder that Jackass and feed his remains to dogs.”

Shiro can’t deny the prospect sounds nice. But in the long run, it’s probably best to do this by legal means. “Let’s just hope it won’t come to that. And if everything works out, it shouldn’t have to.”

Katie lets him go, giving him a wry smile. “Come in. Keith should arrive soon. My parents just texted me.”

Shiro swallows, his heart rate suddenly increasing. He hasn’t seen Keith all week and the last time they spoke, Keith broke up with him. Is it really a good thing for him to meddle in Keith’s life like this? Should he just leave his papers and go; let Hunk and Katie handle this?

He shakes his head. No. He knows what he and Keith had was real, and that it still can be. No matter what the outcome, they should at least talk about what happened face-to-face. Shiro’s done running away and not fighting for his own happiness. He’s done not taking risks. Done with existing and not living. Keith makes him happy. He loves him.

He’s not going to give up on him.

“That your stuff?” Katie asks, pointing at Shiro’s satchel. At Shiro’s nod, she says, “You can just lay it down on the coffee table. We put ours over there too.”

Shiro nods again, stepping further inside the apartment, into the living room area. The coffee table is filled with scattered papers, but given that that’s in no way unusual for this apartment, Shiro hadn’t paid it much attention. He walks over to take a seat on the couch, opening his satchel and taking out his papers and notepad, laying them in a neat pile on the table.

He takes a look at the other papers on the table, all of it holding information shared between the three of them in their texts and chats and calls over the week. He takes a few in hand, doing a bit of cursory reading to remind himself of all his points.

He’s poring over the words when the doorbell rings. Shiro looks up, his heart jumping to his throat.

“Everyone be cool now,” Hunk says, walking over and opening the door. “Hey. It’s good to see you, buddy.”

“Hey, Hunk,” Keith’s voice rings like a song in Shiro’s ears, even as his form is still hidden by Hunk’s bulk, aside from the arms wrapping around him in a hug. “It’s good to see you too.”

“Come in, come in,” Hunk says, stepping aside, and giving Keith and Shiro both their first view of each other in several days.

Keith stops in his tracks immediately, his face growing white as a sheet.

“I can’t do this right now,” he says, promptly turning around.

Shiro’s heart drops into his stomach, and he almost freezes on the spot out of sheer disappointment and heartache. But he bites the inside of his cheek and fights through it, getting to his feet from the couch.

“Keith, please, wait,” Shiro says, soft and gentle. He takes a small measure of comfort from the fact that Keith stops in his tracks, even if he keeps his back turned to Shiro. “Hunk told me what’s going on. If James is the only reason you broke up with me, please…let me help you.”

“Let all of us help,” Katie says, stepping over to put her hand on Keith’s arm.

Keith’s shoulders hunch and his head hangs low even as his arms wrap around himself, as if he’s trying to make himself look as small as possible. Shiro walks over to him softly, approaching him carefully, giving Keith plenty of time to see him coming from the corner of his eye. Keith doesn’t move, his eyes downcast and his lower lip between his teeth as Shiro steps in front of him.

“Keith,” Shiro says softly, his hands itching with the need to touch him. But he doesn’t know if it would be welcomed right now, with how skittish Keith seems, so he settles for searching for his face with his eyes instead. “Please, talk to me. Did you really want to break up with me? I would understand if you were mad about the column, but…”

Keith lets out a breath, his shoulders relaxing a touch, and Shiro’s heart quivers with a dash of hope.

“I was a little startled when I found out,” Keith says softly, his eyes still averted. “But I read it afterwards. This isn’t on you, what he did. James just took it the way he wanted to, the way he does with everything.”

“So…you didn’t want to break up with me?” Shiro asks, his heart thumping happily in his chest.

“No,” Keith says, looking up at him with reddened, open liquid eyes. “I just didn’t know what else to do anymore. I’m in over my head.”

“Then let us help,” Hunk cuts in, stepping closer into Keith’s space. “We’ve been here all along, Keith. Together, there’s nothing we can’t do.”

Keith averts his eyes, biting his lip again for a moment. “…Okay.”

Shiro gives him a small smile. “Come sit down. Let’s talk.”

Keith gives him a shaky smile, and actually offers Shiro his hand. Shiro returns the smile, his heart warm, and takes his hand to lead him to sit down in the living room. Hunk and Katie are quick to settle into the armchairs, leaving the couch to them.

“No more lies or secrets, Keith,” Hunk says, his brows furrowed in severity. “We can only help you if you’re truthful. Tell us everything Jackass has done to you.”

Keith’s throat bobs with a swallow. “It’s not gonna be nice to hear.”

“We don’t expect it to be,” Katie says. “But you don’t have to be ashamed. You never did. You’re among friends here. We won’t judge.”

Keith swallows again, licking his lips. Shiro can feel his hand trembling in his own, and he squeezes it, giving Keith an encouraging smile.

Keith takes in a breath and opens his mouth.

“When James came back into our lives three years ago, it wasn’t that bad at first. I didn’t expect him to stick around, and he was still the same pompous, stuck-up self he’d been before. But he was good to Callie and he seemed to actually want to be a father to her, so we worked out a visitation schedule and stuff. I thought for a while that maybe we could really be co-parents, that I could forget everything that had happened between us. We might never be friends or anything, but I thought we could at least learn to co-exist…”

Keith trails off. Shiro gives his hand another squeeze, silently telling him to go on.

Keith swallows again. “It was maybe…six months into James’s return when things started to…change. It began with him criticizing everything about me personally, and then the choices I made. My clothes, my hair, my apartment, my job…you name it. If there was even one thing amiss about anything I was doing, he would never fail to point it out and make me feel awful. He always related it back to what a bad father I was; like if I made the slightest mistake, it would affect Callie for the rest of her life.”

Shiro bites the inside of his cheek to keep down a growl. He knows Keith is a great father, and no human being can be expected to be perfect or maintain a completely spotless life, especially as a single parent raising a small child. He wants to tear James apart for ever making Keith feel like he’s not enough.

“I tried to start limiting our time together. I didn’t want to see him. But that only seemed to make things worse. He’d spoil Callie to make her favor him. I was always the bad guy, and he used that to get close. He became almost aggressive, and…”

Keith swallows, breathing hard and deep.

“Keith,” Shiro says softy, squeezing his hand. “It’s okay. We’re here.”

Keith averts his eyes, gleaming with unshed tears. “…It’s so shameful.”

“It’s on him, not you,” Shiro says, firm but gentle.

“I just don’t…” Keith murmurs, sniffing. “I don’t understand why I can’t push him away. I just…freeze. I know I could physically overpower him, but I can’t. I can’t fight him. He always knows where to hit me and…”

A flame of fury burns in the pit of Shiro’s stomach. He swallows down his anger. “Keith, I don’t know everything, but I think you might be experiencing some sort of post-traumatic reaction to him. He’s been abusing you. There’s no shame in you being afraid. It might just be your body’s way of trying to keep you safe, not knowing what would happen if you provoked him further.”

He doesn’t dare ask what James has done. He’ll listen if Keith wants to say it, but each picture his mind comes up with is more horrible than the last. He almost doesn’t want to know which one is real, because if James touched Keith…

Keith swallows again, taking in a few breaths. “He’d make…sexual comments towards me. Talk down to me, humiliate me, push me against a wall. He insinuated more than once that he was sure I’d just…fall back into bed with him the way I had before, and I just…”

Shiro snaps his teeth together, fury coursing through his veins like liquid fire.

“I never wanted anyone to know,” Keith says softly. “For a long time I thought I could handle it. But then I met you, Shiro.” He looks up to meet Shiro’s eyes, making Shiro’s heart leap. “And I forgot to be careful around him. I forgot he’d never let me be happy, let alone with someone else.”

…

Keith swallows hard after finally spilling his guts for everyone, takes a long deep breath and releases it, letting himself relax against the back of Hunk and Pidge’s couch. His head is swimming with emotion, and his heart is still pounding in his chest. But with every breath out, he also feels the tension he’s been holding in his body for…he’s not even sure how long, slowly disappear. It feels good to not have to hide things anymore, to have it all in the open, and to not have to deal with all of it alone anymore. Even with the sudden emotional weariness settling over him, making his eyes slide closed, he can feel his muscles relaxing, finally letting go of the weight he’s been carrying for all these years.

“Oh, buddy…” Keith opens his eyes at the sound of Hunk’s breathy voice. As he turns to look, he sees tears rolling down his friend’s cheeks, his eyes red and glistening. Before he has a chance to say anything, Hunk cuts in, “Can I come over there and hug you?”

“What?” Keith breathes. “Oh, sure.”

Hunk leaps out of the armchair and comes to sit on Keith’s free side, wrapping him up in his warmth. His tears make Keith’s shoulder wet, but he doesn’t mind and he wraps his arms around Hunk too. This closeness feels comforting, like a balm to his weary soul. Shiro’s still holding onto his hand like an anchor.

Keith feels someone clutch at his leg and looks down to see Pidge hugging the limb, apparently for the lack for any other body parts to hold on to.

He lets out a breathy, weepy sound. “Thanks guys. I’m okay.”

Everyone holds onto him a bit tighter wherever they’re attached, squeezing him. He does his best to squeeze back, though with Pidge, he can only nudge his leg deeper into her arms.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before,” Keith says.

Hunk pulls back from the hug a little, looking straight at him with his teary eyes. “No, _we’re_ sorry that you’ve had to deal with all this alone.”

“What he said,” Pidge murmurs, her voice muffled by the fabric of Keith’s jeans.

“Hopefully we can help you from now on, though,” Shiro says, giving him a warm smile as Keith looks at him over his shoulder, and squeezes his hand again.

“You’ll never have to face him alone again if you don’t want to,” Hunk says. “One of us can always be with you when you have to see him from now on.”

Keith gives him a small, if wobbly smile, sniffing. “But what are we gonna do about Callie? What if he goes through with the threat?”

“Well,” Shiro says, causing Keith to look at him. His tone is low and his brows furrowed, his mouth tight with meaning. “What we’re _not_ gonna do is let that Jackass walk all over us. If it comes down to it…I’ll help you with lawyers and connections, everything I have to offer in court. We’ll get the best representatives for you. With everything he’s done to you, it’ll be easy enough to prove he’s unfit to be a sole guardian to Callie.”

“Shiro, I can’t ask you to do that,” Keith says.

“You’re not asking me, I’m offering,” Shiro says, looking at him gently. “And Keith, I have more than enough money just put away, waiting. There’s nothing I’d rather spend it on than you and your happiness.”

Keith feels himself blush, averting his eyes from Shiro. He can’t believe Shiro would say something like that, and in front of Hunk and Pidge no less.

He swallows around his suddenly dry throat, willing himself to focus. “It’ll be my word against his though. And he knows how to manipulate people.”

“Still,” Shiro says. “There must be a reason he hasn’t threatened to do this before. You’ve always been Callie’s primary guardian. To grant him full custody all of a sudden would take a lot to prove your unfitness, and he doesn’t have a real case. Everyone can see Callie is the wonderful girl she is because of your parenting, influence and care, Keith.”

“He’s right,” Hunk says. “That’s why we came up with a plan, we want to show you. If it succeeds, we won’t have to go to court. But if it comes down to that, we’ll fight him tooth and nail.”

Keith bites down on his lip, lowering his eyes. “…I’m scared.”

“We’re right here,” Shiro says softly, squeezing his hand again. “We’ll get through this, together.”

Keith swallows. He turns around properly on the couch so he’s sitting facing towards Shiro again. He reaches to take his other hand in his, holding both of them tight, looking him in the eyes. His neck is burning, ears ringing and hands sweating, but Shiro had been so bold before. He’s been so sweet this whole time. Keith has to meet him where he is.

“…I really missed you,” he admits softly, letting himself drown in the warmth of Shiro’s gaze. “I’m so sorry that I hurt you.”

“I missed you too,” Shiro says softly. “and I forgive you.”

Shiro’s eyes are so warm and kind. He’s so wonderful, the most amazing man Keith has ever met. Keith’s eyes land on his lips. He really wants to kiss him. Shiro’s leaning forward too, and like he’s being pulled by an invisible string, Keith leans in too…

“Ahem,” Hunk fake-coughs, breaking Keith’s bubble. “We’re still here.”

Keith pulls back, but not so fast that it would alarm Shiro. With his cheeks burning, he clears his throat, giving Shiro one last soft look before letting go of one of his hands, and turning to face his friend. “So…what’s the plan?”

Hunk lowers his brows, growing more serious. “You’ll call Jackass and tell him we will fight him if need be, but that he doesn’t have a real case. We’re going to stand up to him.”

“We’ll be here the whole time,” Shiro says. “If at any time you feel we need to step in, just signal us and we’ll do whatever it takes to get him to stop.” He reaches for some papers laid out on the table, taking them in hand. “We also thought you might want to do some counselling with James. I have some contact information of an old colleagues here, they deal with couples who are not together but want to work on taking care of their children together. If that’s what you want, I mean.”

Keith begins gnawing on his lower lip, holding onto Shiro’s hand for an anchor. “…I don’t want to hurt Callie. And she still loves James as her Papa.”

Shiro nods. “Then that’s an option for you. You can suggest it to James when you make the call.”

Keith swallows, biting his lip again. The thought of standing up to James makes his stomach roll, and the back of his neck breaks out in a cold sweat. But he also knows he can’t keep living the way he has been. He has to make a change.

And he’s not alone anymore.

He pulls out his phone. “I’ll call him now. I’ll put it on speaker. If I put my hand up, I want you guys to do something.”

“Got it,” Hunk says with a nod.

“Wait, wait,” Pidge says, scrambling in her own pockets, pulling out her phone. “I’ll record this. He’ll probably say something incriminating. We can use that as evidence or leverage if need be.”

“Good idea,” Hunk says, giving her a smile and a high-five.

Keith takes in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Okay. Here goes.”

He looks up James on his contacts and dials. His heart pounds harder and harder with every ring, and he holds onto Shiro’s hand like a lifeline.

Finally, there is a click of someone picking up. _“I knew you couldn’t stay away, my sweet.”_

Pidge makes a silent gesture of vomiting. Keith manages a small, shaky smile at her efforts.

“Cut it out, James,” Keith says, somehow managing to make his voice sound firm. “I need to talk to you about something.”

_“What is it?”_ James says, and there is a vague sound of him shifting. _“Up for some phone sex?”_

Keith feels Shiro tense beside him, but he refuses to look at him. He swallows down his own nausea.

“Not with you at least,” he forces himself to say curtly. “Listen to me very carefully. I am not scared of you, and I won’t let you blackmail me using my daughter. If you want, I will happily go to court with you. You will lose. I’ve made one mistake, you have made about fifty.”

_“And yet you seemed so certain that I would win the other night,”_ James says. _“Are you sure you’re really up for taking me on? I can ruin you and you know it.”_

Shiro squeezes his hand. Keith swallows, and takes in a breath.

“No, I don’t,” Keith says, and somehow manages to keep his voice steady. “It’ll be me who ruins you, if it comes down to it.” He glances down at the papers Shiro’s holding, trying to draw some courage from the printed ink there. “But I don’t want that for Callie. She still loves you and I don’t want to hurt her. But I also want to make our arrangements as her guardians and parents more official, so that we can be as civil as we possibly can. There are people who specialize in family counseling, specifically for people who are not together but have children. I would like for the two of us to go see one of them so we can get everything between us figured out better. Have a neutral party help us get somewhere.”

_“Someone recommended by your little boyfriend, I’m assuming?”_ James snorts. _“What do I get out of it?”_

“You’ll get to keep a relationship with your daughter,” Keith says. “I don’t think she’ll like it very much if you try to take her from me. This way, we both lose and win a little.”

_“And if I say no?”_ James asks.

Keith swallows. “Then I’ll take this to court. You threaten me with it, but is that something you really want to do? I can’t imagine it’ll look good to all your lawyer buddies. And you know you don’t have a real case against me. I’m a good father, and you know it. You even said it yourself. And no matter how much you try to twist the truth, that’s something you can’t take away from me.”

James doesn’t respond. For a while, the only thing Keith can hear is his breathing, his own heart pounding in his ears.

_“…Fine,”_ James finally breathes out.

Keith lets out a silent sigh of relief. “I’ll text you details later. Goodbye.”

He ends the call, setting his phone on the coffee table among the papers.

It’s the only thing he has time to do before he’s wrapped up in another group hug.

“You did it, buddy!” Hunk cheers as he squeezes him, smile in his voice.

“I’m so proud of you!” Pidge mumbles into his leg.

Shiro leans in and presses a soft kiss to Keith’s mouth, a mere touch of his lips before he pulls back to smile at him. “Well done, baby.”

Keith manages a smile back at him. “Thank you. All of you.”

“We’ll get through this together,” Shiro says. “Whatever life throws at you…if you just tell us, we’ll help you.”

“I know that now,” Keith says. “I feel stupid for not saying anything before now.”

“Forget about it,” Shiro says, squeezing his hand, looking him softly in the eyes. “Keith…you didn’t let me say it before. Please, let me say it now.”

Keith swallows, his heart in his throat. “…Okay.”

“I love you, Keith,” Shiro says, lifting his free hand to tuck a strand of hair behind Keith’s ear. “And if you’ll let me, I’d like to try and make you happy.”

“You already do,” Keith says softly, lowering his eyes. Shiro has said it now. And Keith’s been telling the truth tonight, anyway. It’s time to stop being in denial. “…I love you too, Shiro.”

“Aww!” Hunk coos, squeezing his arms around Keith even tighter. “I’m so happy for you guys!”

“And to think this all would never have happened if we hadn’t set you up!” Pidge says.

“Don’t let that go to your head,” Keith says, but he’s smiling.

He has a feeling that everything is going to be so much better from now on.


	12. Epilogue

Keith has just finished flipping the last pancake off the pan when he sees Shiro step into the doorway to the kitchen, Sven looking sleepy but somewhat awake on his hip. He gives them both a bright smile as he puts the full plate of breakfast onto the table.

“Morning,” he says, stepping over to press his lips to Shiro’s, not minding the morning breath. It’s familiar to him by now and it hasn’t stopped him from kissing Shiro for a while.

“Good morning, baby,” Shiro says to him warmly.

“Morning to you too, my Shooting Star,” Keith says softly to his son, pressing a kiss to his soft, dark curls. His heart feeling warm as Sven gives him a soft smile in return. “Give him here, I’ll put him in his chair.”

Shiro nods, and they make quick work of passing their baby boy between them, until he’s a small, warm weight smelling lightly of milk in Keith’s arms. Afterwards, Shiro immediately goes to the cupboards and drawers to take out dishes for their breakfast, not even needing to be prompted. Everything works like clockwork for the two of them by now. A partnership so smooth that Keith almost can’t remember the days he had to live without it.

He and Shiro have been married for two years, together for almost five. Sven was born six months ago after some deliberation about the two of them wanting to have another child. Shiro has been as wonderful a father as Keith always knew he’d be, given what a good stepfather he is, and what a good partner and husband he is. But it still always warms Keith to the core when he gets to see him with their son, doing mundane things. It’s something he never thought he’d get to have.

He sets Sven softly into his chair with another series of kisses to his head, before heading to put some food in the dog bowl. He also takes out the jugs of milk and juice, and a jar of baby food out of the fridge as Shiro sets the table. “Is Callie awake yet?”

“She should be down soon,” Shiro says.

Down. Because they have an actual house in the suburbs now, with a proper yard for their kids to grow up and play in. They’ve been here for just about a year and it still feels surreal to Keith sometimes. Despite how much the house immediately felt like a home when they had first come to see it.

Another thing that is different is the glimmering poof in the air that materializes a very large and fluffy, black-and-blue wolf-like creature with yellow eyes. He lands in front of the dog bowl, immediately starting to eat what’s been put out for him. A starwolf, discovered on a trip Keith, Callie and Shiro made to Daibazaal three years ago. He had landed before them like a meteor from the sky, and apparently chose them to take him home. Callie has named him Kosmo.

Keith pets the wolf’s fur before he makes his way to the table and sets the drinks down next to the plate of pancakes. He puts the baby food in front of Sven for Shiro to feed him. Shiro immediately picks up a spoon and opens the jar, pulling out a little of the mash at the tip of the spoon.

“Here you go, Sven,” he coos, making noises with his mouth. “An airplane is heading into port with some wakey-wakey potion.”

Keith smiles as he watches Sven take the first bite, his dark eyes that are so like Shiro’s looking a little brighter afterwards. He takes his seat around the set table, taking a few pancakes on his plate. He can hear footsteps on the wooden floors; now that the sound isn’t covered by the noises of cooking grease and batter. The steps change as they come down the stairs, and soon enough, there’s his little girl.

Well, not so little anymore. Callie is all of eleven, just at the cusp of puberty. She comes up to Keith’s collarbones for the moment, but he knows that won’t last long with the growth spurts she’s been experiencing of late. Her long dark hair is braided on the left side. Apparently today was one of the days she wanted to do it for herself. She’s dressed in jeans, a t-shirt with a logo of a band she likes and a hoodie, appropriate for the fall weather they’ve been having.

“Morning,” she says, stepping behind Shiro to take her seat next to her brother.

“Morning, Starling,” Keith says, pushing the plate of pancakes in her direction. “Did you sleep well?”

“Okay, I guess,” she says.

“Ca! Ca!” Sven giggles, turning to reach his little arms in the direction of his sister past the spoon feeding him, as always. Sometimes, Keith wonders if he and Shiro should be jealous of how obvious who Sven’s favorite in the family is, but he can’t bring himself to. His son and daughter are a tight duo, have been since Sven was born. Callie is his guardian angel and a doting older sister. Keith had been a little worried about how she would feel about a new baby in the house, especially at her age, but she’s been nothing short of wonderful with him.

“Hi, Svennie,” she murmurs back, turning to smile at him, reaching out a hand for him to grab onto her finger. “You having a good morning?”

“He’s been a little sleepy, but you cheered him up,” Shiro says, feeding Sven another spoonful of mush into his smiling mouth.

“You should eat your breakfast,” Keith says to his daughter, sipping on a glass of juice. “We need to go soon.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Callie says, rolling her eyes like the preteen she is, but she uses a fork to put some pancakes on her plate. “Remember, you don’t need to pick me up tonight, since I’m going to that sleepover at Viola’s right after school.”

Keith hums, his mouth full of breakfast. With her growing older, Callie is starting to be a little more independent, wanting to spend more time with her friends rather than her family. It used to sting, and in some ways it still does, but the ache of it has settled a little. Especially since Keith found out Sven was coming. At least he now has another child to project his empty nest syndrome on for another few years.

Not that his children are the only things in his life. He and Shiro still have a good thing going on. The marriage has only made their bond together stronger, and although their sex life is a little more hurried now with the baby, it has by no means died out. They’re doing well. They have hobbies, both together and outside of each other. They’ve both been to therapy for years, working on their own issues. It’s done wonders for both of them individually, and for their relationship.

Besides, it’s not like Keith’s feeling the loss of Callie alone. Shiro dotes on her as if she was his own, and after the somewhat uneasy start, the two of them have formed their own tight bond. As Callie has gotten older, she has grown closer to her new forming family, especially once Sven was born. She’s old enough now to have a say in what she wants to do and for the moment, it seems she’s taking a step back from James. This would’ve been his weekend, but Callie decided to be with her friends instead.

She seems to be starting to realize that as much fun as James is for her sometimes, he has never done the hard parts. Keith, and eventually Shiro, have been the ones who have picked her up from school, made her breakfast and dinner; tucked her into bed at night and gone to all of her skateboarding tournaments. They’ve taken care of her. She hasn’t cut James out of her life, and Keith isn’t pushing her to, but she’s clearly started considering her options. And Keith knows he’s done a good job raising her, when she knows she has the room to do so.

As Sven finishes eating, Shiro serves himself his own pile of pancakes. Since Sven’s birth, he’s mostly worked from home, so he’s not in as much of a hurry as Keith and Callie are. Keith also knows he can expect the kitchen to be packed with groceries, and be spotlessly clean by the time he comes back; ready for him to start cooking. It’s an amazing thing to be able to rely on him. Shiro may still not be able to cook, but Keith’s happy to do it for the both of them. Even more so since Shiro does almost everything else now.

Keith smiles to himself, taking another bite of his breakfast.

Life is so wonderful.

The End


End file.
